used to think I knew you skeletons speak softly you got bones in your room 

@guardinmusic
Prod by: @sinxi x Tagliatore

lyrics-

yung van-
I ain’t felt love since I was a kid
Yeah, you told me that you love me but you never did
I’ve got mines around my heart but you didn’t set them off
I guess what I’m tryna say is it’s all my fault, yeah
I ain’t felt love since I was a kid
Yeah, you told me that you love me but you never did
I’ve got mines around my heart but you didn’t set them off
I guess what I’m tryna say is it’s all my fault
Not a nice guy, but I act like one
No matter what I do I always hurt someone
So, I turned off all my feelings made my heart go numb
I ain’t ever let myself love no one
No matter what I do I always fuck this up
I don’t think I’ll ever really love someone
So, I turned off all my feelings made my heart go numb
I ain’t ever let myself love no one
guardin-

Yeah I got an ice heart
Fuck all your feelings I’ll tear them apart
What nice start
I’m unaware that I do this I’m sorry sweet heart
I’m a boggart
Keep to myself up until I depart
Can I restart?
I only see dark at the end of the tunnel

And I cannot focus on all these fucking emotions
They constantly go unspoken, for I do fear being open
And I can feel my throat closing
As my heart starts decomposing
A Hollow being just floating
As my demise is approaching us

yung van - 
Not a nice guy, but I act like one
No matter what I do I always hurt someone
So, I turned off all my feelings made my heart go numb
I ain’t ever let myself love no one
No matter what I do I always fuck this up
I don’t think I’ll ever really love someone
So, I turned off all my feelings made my heart go numb
I ain’t ever let myself love no one

I’ve been in my bedroom for 8 days
I don’t wanna text you I’m afraid
You don’t wanna love me, that’s okay
I don’t even love myself to this day
I’ve been in my bedroom for 8 days
I don’t wanna text you I’m afraid, yeah
You don’t wanna love me, that’s okay
I don’t even love myself to this day

I ain’t ever love since I was a kid
Yeah you told me that you love me but you never did
I’ve got mines around my heart but you didn’t set them off
I guess what I’m tryna say is it’s all my fault
Not a nice guy, but I act like one
No matter what I do I always hurt someone
So, I turned off all my feelings made my heart go numb
I ain’t ever let myself love no one

Something's in the Way w/ guardin (Prod. Sinxi & Tagliatore)

VInyl & CD pre-sales

lyrics
--------
so take all that stress
decompress it & hang it up right at the door
feeling like this isn't fun anymore
not that it ever was
but lately everyone's 
misunderstanding what's really import
tantalizing sights & feelings ignored
paths to get over it never explored
overgrown nothingness
stemmed from destruction
it's deeply embedded beneath all my subsidence

goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

so maybe it's grim
but i'll spill on a whim about all that i think
my thoughts subside till i'm pushed to the brink
miscalculated
so often equated
to shit so insane i think i need a shrink
traumatized by flies that hatch in my head
metamorphosis ensued till i'm dead
it's funny how they can grow
little do they all know
their home is rotting & damn near condemned

dissociation 
deserting my patience
i don't think i'll wake up & realize
that feeling this vacant
no communication
is simply leaving me terrorized
i see all these faces
inside of the places
that only exist when i close my eyes
so if this is a phase 
that is bound to erase
then i guess that i ought to just give it time
 
goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

all i ever will be
is someone that'll kill me 
a parasitic head fuck
monotonous & willing
all i ever wished for
is sanity by twenty four
but i never got that
i never got that

all i ever will be

Thank you for everyone who has supported me and my friends! i will miss you flowars <3

Links-
@guardinmusic
@daddydandy

flowars x guardin x yung van - lavender dreams (Prod. charlie c)

producer. @lightbodyent
guitar written by @Tylerburkhart
https://soundcloud.com/tylerburkhart/i-want-to-drown-in-snow

i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
inside
i don’t want to live
but ill stay alive
i don’t want to leave
so ill make time
you don’t tell the truth
so you make lies
i cried
i cried again
last night flowers in my bed
last night i lost my best friend 
last nights flowers torn to shreds
last night our love wound up dead
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
inside
our love subsides i don’t feel right
pin me down you eat my insides
like a spider pull me in
kiss my neck make my blood thin
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
your pain inside

FREE DOWNLOAD

Last Nights Flowers - (prod. lightbody)

w/ @guardinmusic
prod. by @taylor

lyrics:

why does this 
seem never ending i try to be patient
i wake up everyday just trying to escape it
this darkness is lurking don’t want to embrace it
i left my sanity dead in the basement
i burn with the demons
i drink till i’m wasted
this life full of color just seems to have faded
though i know my hearts temporarily jaded
and i will be free on the day that i face it

oh no
if i you go down this road
i’m gonna die soon
and i don’t wanna die soon
oh why do i
do this to my health
it’s like i’m killing myself
i’ve created this hell

(guardin)
why do i
even try 
i swear that i've 
lost my mind
it's not right
losing sight
of direction objection i'm losing my pace
caught in the storm and my head's outta place 

grip my hand and we can make it out alive
trust my integrity it's eating me inside
they say honesty is crucial to survive 
but i know a couple people comfortably living a lie
so why do i feel so uninviting
head vs heart and they keep on fighting
lost my mind but i just keep writing
lock my door in my bed i'll be hiding 

(ooo ooo ooo
oh no
oh why)

oh no
if i you go down this road
i’m gonna die soon
and i don’t wanna die soon
oh why do i
do this to my health
it’s like i’m killing myself
i’ve created this hell

oh no ft. guardin (prod. taylor morgan)

Produced and performed by king theta
Vocal mix and master by IOF https://soundcloud.com/iofmusic
Art by Love, Max https://twitter.com/lovemaxofficial

Lyrics:
I
I just wanna feel like I could fly
Give me anything that gets me high
I need you in my life cause
Shit's gonna cave in soon
Why?
Why you gotta say that I'm lyin
I swear to fuckin God I'm doin fine
The power's all mine but
Shit's gonna cave in soon

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

I got everything that I thought I wanted
But it didn't work

She said "lose
The fake personality you use"
Spent too many nights pourin Goose
So easy justifying getting loose
Attention is distraction from the noose
Sorry, not sorry for my ego
The king threw the old me out the window
I know there's no way home

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

Keep fillin me up
With your love and affection
And I'll spill it right out
Call it self-protection

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

Wish I Could Start Over

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/bornhero for the amazing beat <3

lyrics:
where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i do not know
how to fit in
smoking me out
ripping a spliff  
everyone loves me when i go and dip
everyone loves me when i go and dip

everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
i'm stuck here 
writing simple songs
hope to take the pain away
when my eyes turn to gray
i know 
that my secrets buried deep below the bong
will release
every thought i'm feeling making me do wrong

where i belong
i will not know
every weekend i'm feeling so low
no where to go 
staying at home
staring at walls scrolling twitter alone
hit up my phone
leave you on read
people around treating me like i'm dead
feel like a ghost
no one will post
sit in my bed think about you again   

no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti
no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti

i take control of the whip in my mind
driving me places that i can't define
exploring the road, taking my time
lie to my friends when i say i'm alright
where have i gone
i do not know 
hop in the car and i'm driving alone
phone is on silent not trusting these tones
i feel the weight all the way to my bone

where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i take control of the whip 
going straight 90 i dip
exploring the vessel of me
tell me about what you see

where i belong (prod. born hero)

First date two am and again I’m 
Wondering if this is even real? What is this
She’s, super cool and she’s into all this 
Weird shit  that I love, that no one ever is but
I can tell she’s a sad one 
But she’s the kind of girl that wouldn’t cry to dad if she had one 
Grew up rough on some tough love hits 18 
And there really ain’t nobody else to speak of 
And now she’s rolling with a reject
And I know my time’s short but she doesn’t want to leave yet
Roll it up hit the porch and of course 
When the smoke clears out all we really have are regrets
All we really had were secrets 
And I don’t know about the hole in my defense 
It’s all good let’s dispense with the pretense 
You don’t have to say it girl I know That you’re leaving 

Cause I don’t believe it when 
You say you’re happy 
How could you be 
When you cry all the time?
Maybe One day we’ll learn 
To cry while we’re laughing 
So maybe we 
We won’t 
Have to get high all the time 

First things first, I’m the worst and I know that 
Just your birthday curse that’s a throwback 
I ruin everything and you know that 
I’m the saddest motherfucker on this earth like I’m Bojack 
Black lungs white sky oh why can’t?
I just be free without a vivance 
When I ask for love I get silence 
As you go and hide behind eyelids
Just go to sleep I’ll be right back
Don’t you know that you’re all I have
Just breath she says it’s not that bad
You know I hate when you talk like that
Let me break and I’ll be done
I know you hate what I’ve become
With everything that I’ve been through
I just can’t be what you want me to 

Turns out I’m a problem unsolvable
Nausea from the toxins the bad son prodigal
Now I’m reaching for top it's improbable 
The way I got here turning thoughts into audibles
Turning art into an audience 
Against my haters judgement and against my own common sense 
Now I’m getting played in all the provinces 
Cause every time I hop up on the beat I fucking body it 

Cause I don’t believe it 
When you say that you're happy
How could you be
When we’re dying inside?
Maybe one day 
We’ll learn to cry while we’re laughing
So maybe we won't
Have to get high all the time
Cause I don’t believe it when 
You say you’re happy 
How could you be 
When you cry all the time?
One day we’ll learn 
To cry while we’re laughing 
So maybe we won’t 
Have to get high all the time

Cry While We're Laughing

explicit

prod me <3

lyrics:
she said, 3 facts i, still cry too
i'm losin' faith in my ability to like you
i'm losin' touch with who i was and now i fight you
to be honest we should probably say goodbye soon

and now i'm drunk and i'm peekin at your homescreen
makin sure i'm still there, hopin you'll still hold me
and now you're drunk and you're thinkin bout the old me
where did all the time go, why do i feel lonely?

and now we're drunk and were listenin to cars pass
thinkin bout the good days, will they ever come back
and now we sulk, while we listen for the rain drops
listen for the thunderstorms and hope the fuckin pain stops

this is not a tik tok hit, or a mainstream slap
its the hook verse hook on how my heart collapsed
this is not a dance real slow, if you love me don't go
i've been tryna find some peace down every road we go

why do we fight every evenin
i'm sorry i woke you from sleepin
i'm spillin my guts, so my head don't combust
you're the girl of my dreams you're the one i believe in

i went from holdin you close
to someone you used to know
i remember gettin fucked up
i remember lettin go

she said, 3 facts i, still cry too
i'm losin' faith in my ability to like you
i'm losin' touch with who i was and now i fight you
to be honest we should probably say goodbye soon

and now i'm drunk and i'm peekin at your homescreen
makin sure i'm still there, hopin you'll still hold me
and now you're drunk and you're thinkin bout the old me
where did all the time go, why do i feel lonely?

and now we're drunk and were listenin to cars pass
thinkin bout the good days, will they ever come back
and now we sulk, while we listen for the rain drops
listen for the thunderstorms and hope the fuckin pain stops

homescreen

expectations

new single "deathwish" out now on epitaph records.

https://guccihighwaters.ffm.to/deathwish

expectations

guccihighwaters

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