stoical: enduring pain and hardship without showing one's feelings or complaining.

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stoical

rise/vomit (snippet)

pure vexation

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RISE

always open the door, if it were you x2

my oh my, how the tables have turned
if she’d ask for my help i would not have hurt
she used to please, the empty part within me
but now thats changed my heart will not deceive me

always open the door, if it were you x2

but like a dog, always sit at the door, and wait
and even sleep on the floor if you need space, okay?
i'll beg and plead, as long as you stay with me
and even feign to believe lies that were blatant.

evol undertones

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deadbydaylight (free for profit)

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my body is a cage

stockholm

cover art by @gunkamix
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love is a xan

return

2020 poem recorded in 2020
sparks from a lotus 
fights we’ve been throwing, they don’t even notice 
been growing from lotus 
so stuck in the moment
 so lonely can’t cope it
its self destructive 
i’m hopeless
you said my god never show them
slowly going out i didn’t know this
scars you’d never show lit
& now you’ll never go.

prod me

i’d like to show the world just how dark we all are

show them

a blood red pearl

sandpaper kisses 
 papercut bliss 
don’t know what all this is , but it all leads to this 
  you’re gonna leave , her 
you have deceived , her 

   just a girl , ooh just a girl 
 with featherweight curls 
to expose all she knows , you play like tease 
ooh just a girl 

a blood red pearl

a blood red pearl

martina topley-bird

sandpaper kisses , papercut bliss 
 don’t know what all this is , but it all leads to this 
  you’re gonna leave , her 
you have deceived, her 

 just a girl 
ooh just a girl , with featherweight curls 
to expose all she knows, you play like tease
 just a girl 
with featherweight curls , to expose all she knows 
you play like tease
 you’re gonna leave ,
you have deceived, her 

just a girl , with featherweight curls 
to expose all she knows , you play like tease 
  just a girl , ooh just a girl
with featherweight curls 
to expose all she knows you play like tease 
  just a girl 

 i want the soul of something simple , 
i want the soul of something simple to take home with me 
  (home with me) 
 the world is someplace simple , the world is someplace simple it’s my home you’ll see 
  (you’ll see)

you’re gonna leave , her 
 you have deceived , her 
just a girl , ooh just a girl 
a blood red pearl

sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss

touch me, hunt me

i told you once i wrote a song for you, this is it. 
prod @demorbidity
i’ll never be- i’ll never be in close with you
i’ll never b, close with you 

glorious, intense so being close with you
i know it goes, 
i’ll never be in close with you, 
i overdose
you, normally so never you 
i know it goes ,
i know when you don’t see it through 
ur throwing up, half hearted after being chose 

a sort of fuss
you form then go, 
from me to you  
extorted out, ur broken being overdosed  
i know when you, i’ll never be in close with you  
i overdose , 
i’m medicated over u 

i know ur dose 
were tied in closing doors 
you see, the truth in me 
admitted you’re in out of head 
urad mitted out (ur admitted)
sorta , glorious, in being chose , 
i’ll never be, i’ll never be in close 
i overdose , i overdose 
i overdose 

(i’ll never be in close with you)
((i’ll never be close with you))

story 
using your love to overdose , and being used to overdose 
love is a drug , and i choose you 
being apart is a withdraw , and i choose you
i know your dose
you’re broken being overdosed 
medicated over one another 
out of our heads , but isn’t it so sweet being chose? 
to be chosen , i overdose

can we touch with out overdosing? if not will we continue 

can we be close with out overdosing? can we ever be close with you/you

when an angel overdoses (prod. demorbidity)

hate is a very exciting emotion

i’m eighteen years old, and i don’t know if me & my friends are gonna live through the night
 and i have no clue where to go, 
because from the moment i arrived all i was ever given were orders
 smile , open up , 
cross your legs, spread your pussy
speak softer , scream louder
be quite , be confident, be interesting
 don’t be so difficult, be strong
don’t fight back, be an angel
be a whore, be a princess
be anything you want to be, even the president of the United States of America, just kidding.

fuck you
you still wanna kill me? rape me? stab me? shoot me?
let’s go 
rally your fucking crew , grab your guns n hide behind your masks 
you wanna do this in real life now? give it your best shot
cause you’ve prepared me my own life for this

you may kill me, but you can kill us all.

fatal attraction

what was ønce bright -eyed and full øf wønderment løses their sense øf innøcence.
a vøid gapes in the heart, creating a vacuum, sucking in all that used tø be øut øf reach; like apathy, lust, hatred, and insecurity.

baby i just løve yøu 
& i døn’t wanna tøuch yøu 
yøu’ve gøt me trippin & i døn’t knøw what’s in my, brain 

if i cøuld undress yøu, i’ll tell yøu my name is the, same 
maybe i just løve yøu 
 & i døn’t wanna tøuch yøu 
i’ll give yøu my name , if yøu say that it’s mine 
 say that it’s mine, baby say it’s the , same 
make me 
 baby i want yøu tø break me , 
trippin and all i knøw is that yøu’re mine & the way, 
 the way yøu , the way yøu , the way yøu feel
it’s søme like a pill, the high ain’t the same 
my high is the, 
my high is the ønly place i wøuldn’t gø with yøu 
 
freestyle 

























cøzybøy

he was my virginity cømplex (im all yøurs) freestyle

summer rays such a pretty face, 
if all i know , is a fucking dis-grace 
would it cost to put ur heart inst place ?
(and no one will ever hear it’s pain)

-suckle baby , release the program, 
said his love , was meant for movie screens 
fickleheart , enjoyed affairs, make him stop 
i wish he’d stare
but his tongue was script for all her scenes 
and all it means , x3 

🍰

school play (just vocals)

serial lover

paradise

cover art by me. 

savanna’s always waitin by the doom box 
 baby never said you’ll ever come for,  
dear life  
  oh my god u must be, analyzed 
but i can’t say 

  there’s a little bout the girl there sitting at the dance floor 
& as i drove through the city in my pickup truck , 
 watchin all the girls frown while they “pick me up”
all the coke in their nose n baby there can’t be no more 
 and i said ay,ay,ay 
she don’t love me no more baby can’t even dance now

“pick me ups” freestyle

it’s , taking my , soul away 
it’s, making me fold me in space 

break me even, take me for the light 
im misbehaving, i know no patience 
im begging for a price 

you, take my soul away 

i don’t know patience , i don’t know waiting 
my bones are shaking , my folds are aching 
if he’s on the bed , i don’t know patience , i don’t know waiting
i don’t know patience , i don’t know waiting 
im sick of waiting.

radio love freestlye .m4a (draft)

prince of darkness

“i don’t need you” 
yea, you never do 
you never fucking do.

ascension

ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛɪᴍᴇ

love if you’re with me, you can come home anytime .m4a

GONE.

i found something that was never supposed to be mine 
something that belongs to the world

GONE

this shit is ridiculous x5
just let it fly away, just let it fly away 
i ain’t go no wings but ima make this bitch fly away 
get out of my car, let it fall out
i’m just waiting, i just wish for us to ball out 
-no i don’t never mind what you say, long as you say it to my face
as long as you say it to my face 
 what you really tryna do, know you ain’t talking you won’t do it like- 
bang bang bang ay x3 (last forever)

let it fall out, ride slow 
ride slow, you just let em all fall in you 

last forever, i wanna be the woman in your life 
i know what you want baby i could do it right 
and i wont ever let you outta sight 
last forever

last forever freestyle

i care, that your hurting 
it’s only fair, for the words i hear

i care, that your hurting 
it’s only fair, for the words i hear
baby come through the room,
i’m waiting, im here for you 
(for the words i hear) 
baby come through the room 
i’m waiting, im here for you 
(i’m here for you)
(hurting)

(sample)

infernal: relating to or characteristic of hell or the underworld.

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xolhouette

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