fall flat right on my face
gotta find my way out the rat race
disappear in a second ill be gone without a trace
doin my best but im so far off the pace

this shit polyphonic got that get up n go
fuck up the rhythm but keep up the flow
got a gaping wound that these words help sew
dramatic hypochondriac my mind's abt to blow

separate yourself from everything you know
let it get swept up by the raging undertow
always in debugging got these glitches in the code
hacked my hardware trapped in overload

dig deep and reap what you sow
grains of salt like the wheat in the snow
factual fallacies rethink what you loathe
ghastly dichotomies divided into notes

im a sewage creature
let out of its den
psychotic features
proudly shown off with this pen

right back down the rabbit hole
this hopeless fear will take its toll
wake up deceased change my mode
steel my mind with the blunts i 

roll up then another blunt
takin it serious dont forget its all for fun
drop your sword the battle's been won
rennaissance shit funny when i got a fkn gun

dull pain im losin control
sinking too fast got damage to the hull
treasure trove of bad ideas sinkin with the boat
water level raising quick but that isnt why im soaked

mutiny scrutiny deep inside my dome
tell me why the fuck every road leads back to rome
too many thoughts fill the margins of these tomes
made of flesh n blood but i still feel like a ghost

frosted heart and withered limbs
carry me into the abyss
every decision that is made is a risk
started the fire but its burning down quick

separate yourself from everything you know
let it get swept up by the raging undertow
always in debugging got these glitches in the code
hacked my hardware trapped in overload

OVERLOAD! (prod. waterpr8fboy)

lyrics:

wallow
oh i wallow
desperate to mend it all
sink below wont break my fall
help me escape
i dont wanna be this way
i dont wanna be this way
i dont wanna be this way

fragile even to the touch
a gentle breeze'll pack a punch
this disorder is eating at my core
i dont think my body can take this anymore

losing again
forgot about my friend
lost in the dread
im better off dead
mull over every single word that you said
wouldnt you know it im still rotting in bed
trapped in my head
left em on read
playin pretend
scratching at wounds that wont mend
you wouldnt think its funny if you knew where this all led

tying up a noose
hide it in the closet
ive been gettin loose
and theres no way stop it
pour another goose
get out with the soft shit
drownin in this booze
but i cant fuckin stop this

wallow
oh i wallow
desperate to mend it all
sink below wont break my fall
help me escape
i dont wanna be this way
i dont wanna be this way
i dont wanna be this way

tide comes in
washes out the pain
step right in
or hop in front of a train
either way

i die today
ill drown in the bay
or die to the blade
either way
i die today
cant stand the words that you mutter
i guess im (back to the gutter)

right back into the gutter
right back into misery
this time im history
theres no saving me
ive been deplete
im empty

i wallow
i wallow
i wallow
i wallow

its a hard pill to swallow
wont be around tomorrow
ive become too hollow
i wallow 

wallow.

LYRICS:

deep down i know ill never fix me
i keep on tryin but the drugs keep on mixin
i say im sober then ill grab the bottom shelf
pillaged my own mind then i left that shit in hell
"can i see the scars" consider this show n tell
i hit the bar and then i turn into a shell
i only feed my body like a couple times a month
ive gotten so skinny that im turning into dust

end is coming now, write apocryphal texts
i keep spinnin out, so they moved onto the next
"ive heard it all before" yeah im "always in a spiral"
pain in my chest took me outta denial
why am i never involved in my own plans
brain makes decisions and then i give into commands
i got no say in the person that i am
used to be okay but its gotten outta hand

can someone save me from my own disorder
didnt lose my mind always been right on the border
gotten so bad that ive turned into a hoarder
create a new persona then i put it thru the sorter

ive got categories
for who i am
it depends on who you are
and if i can
some days im too depressed to even fuckin try
i guess thats the reason why

deep down i know ill never fix me
i keep on tryin but the drugs keep on mixin
i say im sober then ill grab the bottom shelf
pillaged my own mind then i left that shit in hell
every single day i wake up inside this nightmare
you can trace it all back to every single night there
treat me nice at first then it turn into a blank stare 
turns out i was never any more than some shareware

you can try to fix me
but its a wasted fuckin effort
its all on repeat
and its never getting better 

borderline personality disorder pt.2 (prod. secre x chris marek)

LYRICS:

heartache, dark age, pop into the wastes
ive been going fucking crazy just searching for a taste
keep me truly disregarded, push aside my own malaise
selenium dioxide turned my turmoil into pane
run it all backwards treat this shit just like a game
speedran my whole life and washed it down the fuckin drain
aint a fuckin legacy but ill leave a bloody stain
keep saying that ill do it but this time it aint a feign

i keep falling
i keep falling down
i keep falling
i keep falling down
i keep falling
i keep falling down
lost my balance there's no way back up off the ground

no, no no no no
broken wings, busted legs, a dead fucking crow
i need to go
water level's rising and i cant fkn float
so what you got to posit
cause youre an endless hate deposit
had me hiding in the closet
had me treat you like a prophet

youre nothing but a ruined piece of art
i knew fucking better yeah they warned me from the start
everyone assumed there was less bite than your bark
turns out the venom was stronger than my heart
i waited for so damn long
i wrote all these damn songs
i took all these hits from my bong
people run away and they're never truly wrong

heartache, dark age, pop into the wastes
ive been going crazy just searching for a taste
keep me truly disregarded, push aside my own malaise
selenium dioxide turned my turmoil into pane
run it all backwards treat this shit just like a game
speedran my whole life and washed it down the drain
aint a fuckin legacy ill leave a bloody stain
keep saying that ill do it but this time it aint a feign

FEIGN (prod. branwen)

sundered armor (ft. Velo Soul) [prod. Kresh]

LYRICS: 

(banished soul, never known)
(bounced right back into the hole)
(grasping for the love you stole)
(fell to pieces now not whole)
(saturated colors, fade into the greys)
(cant stand the fire but keep adding to the blaze)
(disappear tomorrow no alarm here to be raised)
(got a mortal wound but pretend its just a graze)

breached my sense of security
im harming me, lost purity
fighting back never works for me
im living in this misery
like constantly, a part of me
ill never change enough to see
ill never be free, it brings them glee 
to see me weak down on my knees
they sip the tea while i just bleed 
maybe i just found the key
they're hunting me i hide in weeds
this smoke billows out from behind the trees

just gave away my own position
consider this one my audition
hope i die on this next mission
trigger finger keeps on itchin
all these curveballs life been pitchin
i dont wanna keep on switchin
but i know that i deserve to
and i dont deserve you
come shatter my worldview
cause i dont got the nerve to

baby i dont wanna try another
babygirl i wanted you tonight
you threw my heart into the gutter
lookin back just leaves me feelin fright
left me to die like it was nothin
how'd you ever think you're right
got too many issues to keep bluffin
one day they'll flood right back into your sight

tragic endings, new beginnings
lost myself lord i been sinning
none this shit gon help me grin n
im too gone so lets just bin it
hate the way that i been livin
fuck myself then ask who did it
glue my ass to where im sittin
they move on n im left pitted
all this pain aint got me driven
got these aches from where im bitten
play it out the way its written
scripted acts yet im left smitten
exchange my woe for clearer vision
trade my voice to learn to listen
rid myself of wounds left stitchin
fuck it all engage the fission

breached my sense of security
im harming me, lost purity
fighting back never works for me
im living in this misery
like constantly, a part of me
ill never change enough to see
ill never be free, it brings them glee 
to see me weak down on my knees
they sip the tea while i just bleed 
maybe i just found the key
they're hunting me i hide in weeds
this smoke billows out from behind the trees

behind these trees (prod. tiedforsilver x flesh)

LYRICS:

ive been feeling dead as fuck
from outta nowhere these emotions struck
those big green eyes have got me stuck
scroll past a picture n get queasy in the gut
storybook romance but only for the insane
always fuckin sad but it used to wax and wane
porous to the dangers that poured out of my mouth
tragedy strikes when you expect it to go well

turned into a cancer now im rotting from the inside
prion in my mind, unravels genetic code lines
trashy on the outside cause i never see an upside
scars on my body tell the story of a poor life
new endeavors scare me way too much to try
fear of missing out but let everything just pass
me by
hitch onto someone else but they always seem to fight it
symbiotic relationships but they always seem one sided

ive only changed for the worse
i perpetuate this curse
the last time i saw you
i could only lurk
cause how do i speak
when youre with him
i said a few words
then the world got dim
sorry i disappoint
i know its all ive been

whats half a life matter anyway
not like i wasted your youth, oh wait
bettered yourself while i sat there pretending
it was never enough cause i was waiting on the ending
cant compete with a prophecy
i can read the future and its had enough of
me
never treated well so you knew what to expect
didnt go ghost, i let the prosecution rest

we were alone way before you left
lonely together only adds more to the heft
im sorry that i forfeit but i had no more to give
id been in paralysis with no true way to live
no more excuses for any of my decisions
stretching the truth is the same as omission
no more thread for my heart that needs stitching
stumble half hearted into the bottles that im kissing

ive been feeling dead as fuck
from outta nowhere these emotions struck
those big green eyes have got me stuck
scroll past a picture n get queasy in the gut
storybook romance but only for the insane
always fuckin sad but it used to wax and wane
porous to the dangers that poured out of my mouth
tragedy strikes when you expect it to go well

turned into a cancer now im rotting from the inside
prion in my mind, unravels genetic code lines
trashy on the outside cause i never see an upside
scars on my body tell the story of a poor life
new endeavors scare me way too much to try
fear of missing out but let everything just pass
me by
hitch onto someone else but they always seem to fight it
symbiotic relationships but they always seem one sided


one sided (prod. branwen)

SIREN SONG (ft. kotaray & Velo Soul)

LYRICS:

im never moving forward
im stuck here in the past
i said id lose the memories
but i hold them to my chest
the photos keep me company
for when i lose my mind
at every turn im falling
then recover just in time

i wish id fall into abyss
i wish id put an end to this
i wished for something everlasting
but never found my way back to bliss

lost my soul and now my heart's gone
where do i go from here
i keep telling myself to hold on
ill just die later this year

im never moving forward
im stuck here in the past
i said id lose the memories
but i hold them to my chest
the photos keep me company
for when i lose my mind
at every turn im falling
then recover just in time

----------------------------------
ryn. verse

time, time
fuels all the pain inside
time, time
supposed to heal me so why

don't know what i want
don't know what i need
i been feeling down
i been feeling incomplete

why won't my brain
tell me about how i really feel
it just sends memories
that i don't know are real

this broken love
those broken hugs
polaroid camera pictures
burned to dust

take all my scars
my broken parts
as a way to remember
that all things must

end~
(all good things must...)
end~
(all good things must...)


time heals no wounds (ft. ryn.) [prod. Noah808]

LYRICS:

oh, im still searchin
im still yearning
for anything 
that doesnt hurt me
passed out or crying on the floor
i cant do this anymore
losing my sanity
death is whats best for me

END IT NOW
TAKE ME OUT
IM DYING TOO SLOWLY
SPEED IT UP SPEED IT UP
FILL MY CUP FILL MY CUP
OH, I CANT STOP
I LOST TRACK OF IT ALL
THEY KNOW ILL SLIP SO THEY BET ON MY FALL

delirious
im sinking deeper in
LET GO OF THE SIN
CARRIED OFF BY THE WIND
NO EMPATHY
FOR THE MONSTER THAT ID BEEN
TIE ME UP DONT TELL ME THAT ILL LIVE

passed out or crying on the floor
i cant do this anymore

END IT NOW
TAKE ME OUT
IM DYING TOO SLOWLY
SPEED IT UP SPEED IT UP
FILL MY CUP FILL MY CUP
OH, I CANT STOP
I LOST TRACK OF IT ALL
THEY KNOW ILL SLIP SO THEY BET ON MY FALL

LOSING MYSELF ONCE AGAIN
ID TAKE IT ALL BACK BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT I SAID
I JUST FILL UP WITH DREAD
LOSING MYSELF ONCE AGAIN
ID TAKE IT ALL BACK BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT I SAID
I JUST FILL UP WITH DREAD

SOUL SEARCHING (prod. foreless)

lyrics:

kota:
Your lip stick gets me going everytime 
You fit well wrapped up in your own vines
Poison ivy hello baby it’s bout that time
Pressing feeling on your throat let’s get right

Cigarettes on your breath makes me get all hot again
Baby listen here let’s sin
Get me going I give in

Take me as I am my body’s always giving in
Heavy burdens everyday you’re a perfect 10
-------
dead:
(chorus/hook)
perfect dime
running thru my mind
makes me wanna try
but im dead inside
so ill run this right
then ill run away
cause im always tried
from this fantasy
------
velo:

------
dead:
(chorus/hook)
perfect dime
running thru my mind
makes me wanna try
but im dead inside
so ill run this right
then ill run away
cause im always tried
from this fantasy

i wanna pin you to the ground
yeah i wanna eat your soul out
live inside your flesh
waiting for new skins to roll out
bite into your throat
might be time for me to go now
ripping at the arteries
perfection makes me crash out
going too fast like we're speeding in the car now
we're wrap around a tree when i eat your fucking heart out
i want the gore to cover me like im a masterwork of art now
blood's flowing fast yeah i think im gonna pass out


PERFECT (w/ kotaray & Velo Soul) [prod. dera x bennykaay]

LYRICS:

pass that shit girl
puff that blunt
im scourin the world
baby im on the hunt
i got a finger thats been itchin
i had a bitch thats been a cunt
i got a glocky at my side
and im so done puttin up a front

put down the phone bitch im losing my patience
im headed back south like a cute lil vacation
i cant hear the beat fuck im losin the cadence
keep dropping parts off me yeah im losin covalence
im headed right back, yeah i think might snap
i belong in the trash, i got demons in packs
im a certified hack, got no boom to my bap
cunt with no tact, on the verge of collapse
(im)

getting high off my own supply
letting life just pass me by
never try til the day i die
they never ask but they wonder why

so ill just pass this blunt to this hoe on my left
gotten cold, never known, cant handle all this heft
fester low, soul been sold, handle the pain with the pills i got left
i cant handle this stress


put down the phone bitch im losing my patience
im headed back south like its a cute lil vacation
i cant hear the beat fuck im losin the cadence
keep dropping parts off me yeah im losin covalence
im headed right back, yeah i think might snap
i belong in the trash, i got demons in packs
im a certified hack, got no boom to my bap
cunt with no tact, on the verge of collapse


cadence (prod. hollowprpl x tiedforsilver)

LYRICS:

ive
got these feelings
but its not
oh its not like it was before
i cant
i cant feel like i did before
like i did before
so i
i dont think i can do this anymore

i
dont think i can take another blow 
to my broken heart
no i
think ive gotta hold it close
or ill overdose
so i
push away anyone close
then cope thru shitty prose
yeah i keep on losing hope
arent i such a trope

push em all away 
too good for me im way too sad
i live in my misery
and all the things i cant bring back
nothings good enough for me
but i only look for shit thats free
i smell like a distillery
i belong inside the pillory
spending every day living just outside my skin
wanna feel the joy but i just cant rein it in
when i was younger they always told me that i was heaven sent
died and went to hell but they sent me right back in

ive
got these feelings
but its not
oh its not like it was before
i cant
i cant feel like i did before
like i did before
so i
i dont think i can do this anymore


i dont think i can do this anymore (prod. Noah808 x veil)

LYRICS:

too risk averse
scorchin the earth
ive been
simpin the hearse
regrettin my birth
so i
dig in my purse for what i left there last night
stuck in a curse dont ask why ive turned ghost white
fighting off all of my demons
they refuse to let me sleep n
cant help fix the hell im steeped in

carcinogenic
a cancer brought unto your life
unapathetic
struggled too long to care about your strife

im the bad guy
im the villain in the lore
high on amphetamines
about to add some more
stripped of all humanity
except my blood and gore
on the cusp of insanity
delude me nevermore
take me back to when you werent maskless
what really happened i cant move past it
tell me what you thought why you left how i snapped it
serve me to hell in my casket

apocalypse now
take this bitch down
i cant
pretend that im proud
drown it with sound
so i
dig in my purse for what i left in there last night
stuck in a curse dont ask why ive turned ghost white
fighting off all of my demons
they refuse to let me sleep n
cant help fix the hell im steeped in

im strugglin 
to keep myself upright
and this skin that im wearing 
it feels way too tight

too risk averse
scorchin the earth
ive been
simpin the hearse
regrettin my birth
so i
dig in my purse for what i left there last night
stuck in a curse dont ask why ive turned ghost white
fighting off all of my demons
they refuse to let me sleep n
cant help fix the hell im steeped in


risk averse (prod. zukatoo x sorrow bringer)

LYRICS:

waste my time its all okay
i expect this outcome anyway
i push it down as i lose my crown
i drown it out with deafened sound
push me aside no compromise
i believed there was trust inside those eyes
but like every time it was all just lies
this why i got no love left inside my mind

push it all down to the depths of my spine
(say im fine)
i keep running round in circles fuck i do it all the time
i need to find a rope, needa find a way to choke
needa put down the bottles and find a little hope
ive turned into a silo
with every action ive turned more vile
wish to turn back to denial
i miss feeling at home and my smile

sick of bein on my own, need an antidote
keep pushin down the road, but my legs got broke
im pushing past the wallow, past my dread
but with every pill i swallow i wish i were dead

all these medications only make it fuckin worse
shell of my former self and ive been speedin toward a hearse
every time that i get low i just reach into my purse
and i take another tablet that perpetuates my curse

i know im headed six feet down
aint stopping now, in my last round
seeking help in the wrong places
but i cant stop myself
my brain's in overload
fillin up with all this bloat
i broke the day that i awoke
thrown in too deep fore i could float
i think its over, i think im losing hope
dont think that i can cope
lost inside the smoke
all this weed doesnt help my ego
and this irish cream doesnt cease the dread
attempts to get better my brain just veto
so ill never get ahead


vent. (prod. hollowprpl x tiedforsilver)

lyrics:

kotaray:
help me im hurting for no reason
last bitch damaged all my feelings
and i tried, tried to fix it
but with this pain im less than nothing
and i feel this way
but im sick of being corrupted

(oh, woah)

longing through these nights
got me dead inside
maybe i'll find
another way i lied

and all i ever wanted was a little bit of love
caught up in the middle, fuck these fucking drugs
oh don't you know?
this ain't love

deadlanguage:
this aint love
(no)
this distrust
(oh)
made me believe that i was enough
never the main one when push comes to shove
side bitch, always relegated
turning way too jaded
like my eyes
drop the mask, wear my disguise

crack my spine
crack out the pine
withdrawn from the light
even all the good ones turn back to the blight

this aint love
(no)
this distrust
(oh)
made me believe that i was enough
never the main one when push comes to shove
i said id withdraw, i said enough
i said its over, i said im done
i said i loved you
i said all these things when i know that theyre not true


this ain't love (w/ Kotaray) [prod. fukkfaith]

lyrics:

psycho veins
baby all this shit was made
i popped out of the womb with him screaming in my face
i try to keep it lowkey
i aint turn out okay
i pushed it to the side
but i still feel the pain

i almost forfeit, i almost ran
i almost left this world without another helping hand
he almost fuckin won, he almost got me
father where's your ego without your boot there to stop me

stomp, stomp, stomp me out
stomp, stomp, stomp me out

ill always get back up
you cant tell me when time's up

psycho veins
baby all this shit was made
i popped out of the womb with him screaming in my face
i try to keep it lowkey
i aint turn out okay
i pushed it to the side
but i still feel the pain

i lose it all the time
i cant sit inside my mind


pSyChO vEiNs (prod. fukkfaith)

lyrics:

gutter 1:

uh, i let the blood just flow
a lil deep this time but it aint game over
uh, i let the tears just go
mascara runnin down my face to my shoulder
uh, gotta let them know, i said no and i cant take over
gotta let them know, i said no, i cant move these boulders

cant move em by myself, cant move em with your help, or with bottles on my shelf
and im down for the count, kick me outta this round, ive been lost but not found
why do i never know which direction to go or which hand to hold
why do i always turn away and end up back at home
severed the noise, i severed my losses, severed my
hands
severed my heartstrings, severed my being, severed the strands
ill sever my limbs, sever my brains, suffer again
i tried my best to be better but inside im struggling again

--------------
ryn verse

yuh
struggling again
a daily event
happens all the time
to make up for my sins

she said im heaven sent
imma devil in distress
hide behind the pain
by taking medicine, yuh

could die right now
but i don't wanna go
fight my thoughts
don't jump in the road

lonely battle
don't hand me the rope
change myself
before i sell my soul

i just wanna stay
live another day

live another day~
i just wanna stay~
live another day~
but i don't think that i can change~

-------------------
gutter 2:
carve out runes from my flesh
aint that the best
ive been kept too far down been building up stress
pushin out pounds but i never say less
ive got a new dress code
sick of being cold
always in the lows
always just about to blow
i keep moving forward then i fall right back below
im in a hell of my own making but i cant leave behind this woe
in a neverending nightmare that leaves me gasping on the floor
i said im gasping for air, im losing my conscious, lost my conscience too many years ago
all my traits became toxic and ive turned so neurotic, 
 psychotic features left a year ago
i said im losing my head, im losing my flow, losing my  wits, and im losing my go
im losing my everything every day
suffer thru it all with a smile on my face

suffering (ft. ryn & idigmygrave) [prod. secre x wraithontheporch]

lyrics:

i dont see a god anymore
just a bottle and a body that's been rotting on the floor

oh, my words are acid
im made of plastic
wont rot in the casket, no
trust gives to passage
but you ran away every single time we came close
so i snort this shit up my nose
i keep getting tired of all this prose
smoked so much i cant feel my toes
cant escape cause its all that i know

take me back to when things were good
id take it all back if i could
i think we're both just misunderstood
i could call you now but i dont think that i should

you wont come back
i already knew that
you drive me to the past
my head spirals too fast
you left without a trace
and im still hiding my face
you had your fall from grace
i lost it all so ill blow my case

oh, my words are acid
im made of plastic
wont rot in the casket, no
trust gives to passage
but you ran away every single time we came close
so i snort this shit up my nose
i keep getting tired of all this prose
smoked so much i cant feel my toes
cant escape cause its all that i know



CASKET (prod. branwen)

second song on FL studiooOoo

lyrics:

i pushed you away then i tried to hold you close
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a deep dark hole, this place became my home
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a drenched pennycoat ive been left out in the cold
i said that id let it but i never let it go
now these words get bold and my mouth is gettin full
i said that id let it but i never let it go

no i never let it go i didnt leave this shit behind me
put your jacket on girl your skin is fucking blinding
thought we still had time but i guess you had decided
no wonder every discussion been one sided
oh, right
im a fuckin monster
we can keep on fighting like i never lost her
i feel low but i feel no hunger
lost in abyss there's no need to conquer

i pushed you away then i tried to hold you close
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a deep dark hole, this place became my home
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a drenched pennycoat ive been left out in the cold
i said that id let it but i never let it go
now these words get bold and my mouth is gettin full
i said that id let it but i never let it go

theres something wrong in my code
debugging keeps failing im trapped in overload
deep down i know i gotta fkn go
cant transfer my data in this mode, im broke
im all alone
push it all away but i still hit the cone
i float
i stand alone
put a .22 straight into my dome

pushed you away then i tried to hold you close
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a deep dark hole, this place became my home
i said that id let it but i never let it go
in a drenched pennycoat ive been left out in the cold
i said that id let it but i never let it go
now these words get bold and my mouth is gettin full
i said that id let it but i never let it go

i never let it go (prod. fukkfaith)

lyrics:

kick it at home but i feel displaced
weathered from the storm you can read it on my face
god i hate this place
ive been knocking ive been barging down on heaven's gates
no im not okay
ive been counting down the seconds to my final days
i fucking hate this place
ive been knocking ive been barging down on heaven's gates

i got a finger on the trigger
and its itchin and its itchin and its itchin to go off
i keep ditchin i keep switchin i keep hidden in the loft
i kept waiting for your gift but now my head will just go pop
im in my low shit
in that never ever never ever grow shit
she said my take my hand but never ever hold it
i like your face but i dont like your bullshit
you dont got the motion to pull it

kick it at home but i feel displaced
weathered from the storm you can read it on my face
god i hate this place
ive been knocking ive been barging down on heaven's gates
no im not okay
ive been counting down the seconds to my final days
i fucking hate this place
ive been knocking ive been barging down on heaven's gates

i got seven days til im a ghost
you always said i always do the most
so ill go out in style
blow my fuckin brains to  haunt your denial

potential to break the mold
but we followed in their footsteps and now our hearts are cold
i thought we followed gold
but we wandered into the forests and now we're growing mold
there's no hope in these caves
there's the dark, there's the cold and the haze like a maze
but its all just a phase
when we switch back to winter itll go like a blaze

kick it at home but i feel displaced
weathered from the storm you can read it on my face
god i hate this place
ive been knocking ive been barging down on heaven's gates

HEAVEN'S GATES (prod. sorrow bringer x luffysome)

lyrics:

gutter verse:

streetlight glare like starin in the sunlight
sit in my car and get high as a kite
framed like this i dont want in the limelight
wont cause grief when i take my life
always alone but never in silence
head always screaming im not in compliance
had a bad bitch but she broke our alliance
im losing my wits n im headed toward violence

i stripped myself to the bone
i turned myself to a drone
i drained myself over and over, trained myself to just bend over
bled myself to the core
i let myself get torn
i said my piece but youll never know, you flew away before it was told
tell me why im never enough
im never enough
tell me why i never get love
i never get love (i dont)
tell me why these wolves are at my fucking throat
tell my why i never learned how to cope

AVXiD verse:

tellmewhy (ft. AVXiD) [prod. sorrow bringer x smerxh]

not quite a beat but i felt like it was worth posting idk

factory sealed (instrumental)

salivate (120 F#m)

partially a beat, partially an instrumental ig

on solid ground/falling through (102 CMaj)

never really cared, you threw my heart right out
barely even mattered when this shit went south
you had another plan you had your own way out
i wish i never said i loved you now
im in the garbage where you left me
and people wonder why im never friendly
i feel like something's got to give
cause if it doesn't i don't know how long i'll live

im in love with this .22
more than i was ever into you
cause everything i say you always abuse it
about to explode but i dont know where the fuse is
wasn't prepared for the lessons that followed
i fell apart and my chest just hollowed
wallow in the dark find some solace in the bottle
"nothing ever changes", as i gulp down moscato

i can't feel right
my brain just fights against me
i'm fucking tired of tryin to fix it all myself
i just need some help
can anybody save me?
im so broken from the trauma you gave me

i think i need help (prod. foreless)

deep inside, im hiding undercover
i never leave my house i just sit inside and suffer
could you pass another tree cause im headed into the tar pits
i threw away my conscience so place me back in with the garbage
ive lost in my mind will i ever wake up?
ive lost another bitch its just another shake up
i lost all my beauty i cover it up with makeup
i aint got nothing left, nothing left to fuck up

i hate me too i just do it from the inside
walking past a mirror makes me wanna take my own life
ive never been lower but i do it to myself
ill grab another bottle then collapse the fucking shelf
i got an idea like ive never had one before
imagine my body gasping for air on the floor
i cant move forward when my hearts still torn
i wont move at all through those wooden boards

fuck up, i guess thats why no one loves us
stuck up, i got way too much to say
i spend most of my days complaining bout my paycheck
could you spare a loan cause i swear that we go way back
cant go outside cause my body and my bank balance
broken to the core, this weight could fill up like 8 pallets
after everything thats happened i feel im full of malice
catch me blacked out drinking poison out the chalice

send me back inside of my body, send me back in time
send me back into all of this sorrow i feel inside my mind
send me back before i felt hollow from all your god damn lies
i never felt joy but i sure as fuck felt every single bite
i wanted something new but i didnt know what i was asking for
i turned myself into a product so maybe they'd come back for more
i said id run away when i found out what i was looking for
but ive turned into a commodity and just another stupid whore

oh my fucking god
i lost it all
im in my head
i cant keep thinking about you if i dont want to end up dead
i try to push it down again
its starting to get harder
its about that time that i turn into a martyr

i hate me too i just do it from the inside
walking past a mirror makes me wanna take my own life
ive never been lower but i do it to myself
ill grab another bottle then collapse the fucking shelf
i got an idea like ive never had one before
imagine my body gasping for air on the floor

guttertrvsh

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