summer of 2022 thats when i met you
getting vaccines for school ooo
u were so sweet and kind so pretty and devine
i wanted to end my life but you
showed me that skys werent grey
that there was always happy days
turned my heart into clay
i really miss you babe

to think abt all those months we spent last year
through fall and autumn and winter and summer
we talked and we talked and we had fun alot
and u were always gone but it was fine i didnt care

we were so happy u'd call me on instagram
and we would talk abt our days and id play guitar for you
and u said not to cut my hair cus u liked it long
and then i cut it when u were gone and i wrote this song

"juli says not to cut my hair she says let it grow"
well i will let you know

its hard to look at all the funny moments and the laughter
and the memories right after everything has gone to shit
i think abt the months we spent and then the months before that
and all i can think abt is how i wanna go to florida

i dont hate u i was hurting i said shit i never meant
i handled the aftermath poorly and thats why you came and went
i know that if i was more mature or if i just used my words instead of screaming and yelling
then you wouldve still have been following my instagram and liking all my stories
we could just be friends and then something

i cant laugh look at the photographs
that shit it makes me sick
i hate it i hate it
i wanna die

now everything reminds me of you
like the nhk poster in my room
but its not too late we can still reconvene

ooo

bugcatcherjuli (acoustic)

Stagnation yet time treks forward
And im traveling through the water
And for gasps of air i feel
It latching onto my lungs
And soaking right into my blood
White out paint in the pondscum
Dead fish in the ocean
Motion it closer to freak you out


Sitting in the back of your parents car
Wishing to feel something else
Coming up slow and strong 
Listening to pink floyd and stuff
Staring out at the people
Walking by its so evil
Why are they all normal
And im a freak its so unequal

Everything is
Bouncing in my head

EVERYTHINGISBOUNCINGINMYHEAD

i wanna change this lead erm... bad songs 3 in like a week or something

stupid stupid
youre really losing it
just think youre cool and
wan be with u

i know im shy and
awkward and i cant
make eye contact
im weird and silent

im really trying
i think im dying
so sick of crying
in love well i am

shy
Im sorry im so shy
im sorry im so shy
im sorry  

im
Im sorry im so shy
im sorry im so shy
im sorry im

im so shy (demo)

dont leave her waiting sniiiipeeettttttt

https://open.spotify.com/album/0D7YVHIbvZPC0HEQ5goXHH?si=4pag8q6rSWultNwhelfDfg

lyrics:
You think that I'm stupid
I think that you're useless
Keep telling me you're sorry "I didn't mean to do it"
Let's throw a pity party
I can play the music
You promise you're not lying
I know that's it bullshit

I've seen this story before
I know what comes next
And I'll be lying on the floor
I'll save my breath
Cause I always need more
Just to say the same shit
That I've already said before

You think that I'm stupid
I think that you're useless
Keep telling me you're sorry "I didn't mean to do it"
Let's throw a pity party
I can play the music
You promise you're not lying
I know that's it bullshit

Cause I can tell the shoe fits
I'm not falling for your bullshit
Cause I can tell the shoe fits
Cause I'm not fucking stupid

if i have to repeat myself one more time i'm gonna lose my mind

ur so mean

[Intro]
Should've seen my face
When I turned up to work
In a coat far too big
My anxieties lurked
A man named Brandon
Showed me around
Taught how to talk to customers
When more were inbound

[Verse 1]
The first thing I did
Was I fucked up an order
The guy was so pissed
And he called me a slur
I spent all night
Cleaning the floor
The hurl from the kids
Made me sick to my core

Did you know it's
illegal
to work a minor on the
night shift
But it seems that's
the deal
I don't know how I
survived that shit

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal

[Verse 2]
Shout out to the bathroom
Where I screamed my lungs off
It was my only safe space
That was never enough
Thank fuck for my brain
Who knew when to quit
When I started to hallucinate
I think that was it

There's been so many times
That I want to die
McDonalds gave me insomnia
And I don't think that's right
The manager's on weed
and he's flirting with teens
I don't know what to do
What the fuck does this all mean

[Solo]

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal

[Verse 3]
My college work is due
I've got so much to do
I'm sleeping for an hour
And I want to redo
I've started sexualising
my own death
And I think that's fucked up
But I still hold my breath

Why does life suck
Woe is me
You're sickly little prickly
And you think that you should leave
I googled how to hang myself
It told me not to grieve
I wanted gone so hard
Yet I rolled down my sleeve

[Intermission]
I can't hear you
I can't see you
I can't read the
things you want to do
I can't escape myself
I can't relate myself
I can't shape the world
into itself

[Verse 4]
One time I heard a voice
It came from a corpse
He said quit your job
And he started to warp
McDonalds drove me down to
the pits of insanity
I don't know what to do
And I think that I'm panicking

I came up with a plan
to fix my head
I'll quit my job
so I don't end up dead
I handed in my two weeks
And never looked back
Fuck that establishment
And fuck all of those twats

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal
There's people telling me that I am suicidal
I think it's funny because I don't want to die
The voices yell at me that I am suicidal

[Solo 2]

Working at McDonalds unironically made me suicidal

please don’t drag it on
why can’t you see my jeans drag
i even dyed my hair black
you look sad alone
come be sad with me
i’ll keep you company in bleeding 

with your fingerless gloves
sharing razors when we cut
i’m not alright 
with your fingerless gloves
sharing razors i’m not

please don’t drag it on
you make me feel like nothing
tell me that means something
you look sad alone
if you’re hurt and bleeding
i want to be the reason

every time you feel loved
i’ll tear you down and tell you off
i’m not alright 
white with a black wolfcut
yeah you can ruin my life
i’m not alright

with your fingerless gloves
baggy jeans 19 enough

Sharing Razors

Ever Since We Met

lyrics:
he said he loved you 
yeah just long enough for u to send him nudes
and now he's gone again yeah gone for months
oh what the hell'd u do
and when he comes back
yeah you'll let him back in
and then you'll talk for a day
and then you'll send him ur tits

and then you'll ask me
what the hell ur doing wrong
idk
idc 
cause ur probably having fun
even if i were to help u'd probably go back in a month

the used, but instead of the band it's just a woman

sound of silence (production)(1).mp3

demos & throwaways (main is @h4rtbrkr)

i delete stuff alot and then spam upload and then reupload said deleted stuff

dont leave her waiting sniiiipeeettttttt

h2rtbrkr