The Betty Windsor Show is a satirical slice of indie pop that imagines her majesty – AKA Betty Windsor – reminiscing on a lost love at the end of another long day. 
 
Betty’s bittersweet memories unfold over a driving riff situated somewhere between the Velvet Underground and Teenage Fanclub while the buoyant chorus and middle eight belie the unenviable choice she must make between duty and desire – a choice she faces with grim determination, whatever the cost.

The Betty Windsor Show features Claire Long on backing vocals and was produced by Matt Anderson, both of the Magic Mattie Band.

Here are the lyrics:

Betty takes her make up off slumped a little on her seat
Her weariness amazes her, one’s branded on one’s feet
She’d love to smoke a cigarette though she hasn’t done for years
Some things are hard to shake off, old habits and old fears
She’s reminded of an evening though the memory’s not clear
What was it he said to her about favour and of fear?
He didn’t really say much and he didn’t stick around
But that evening she was happy, yes, that evening…

It started out as heaven but it ended up as hell
Betty never saw it coming but she never could tell
In the crowd he stood there waving as they said it’s time to go
No one ever turns the light out on the Betty Windsor Show

Betty writes a diary for the family and the kids
For the empire she used to have and the one that still exists
He doesn’t have an entry but his name’s on every page
Mixed in with the ceremony, the ritual and the rage
Memories assault her now but the tiredness prevails
Betty puts the pen down as her mind comes round again
To a garden and an evening and a promise and a rule
And a pale young man of England who would play for her the fool

It started out as heaven but it ended up as hell
Betty never saw it coming but she never could tell
In the crowd he stood there waving as they said it’s time to go
No one ever turns the light out on the Betty Windsor Show
 
It was summertime but the air was cool
Betty felt it all undressed in the pool
And when they came for her she was already gone
But the memory lives on and on        
And on and on and on and on and on and on and on
 
Betty puts her make up on as someone whispers in her ear
The schedule’s all planned out and the car’s already here
She hasn’t really slept well and she snaps when she hears
It’s time, ma’am, it’s time now, I know it is, she says
Duty is a privilege, it is constant and divine
Betty understands this and Betty walks the line
And as she rises from the table, she is ready for the day
It’s time, ma’am, it’s time now, I know it is, she’ll say 

It started out as heaven but it ended up as hell
Betty never saw it coming but she never could tell
In the crowd he stood there waving as they said it’s time to go
No one ever turns the light out on the Betty Windsor Show

The Betty Windsor Show

Turing Test is a pop song by Ha Ha Ha.

These are the lyrics:

My girlfriend, she's the best
Can pass the Turing Test
New age materials
Expensive minerals
We don't need to scream and shout
We don't make love, we print it out
There's nothing left to do

My car is my best friend
She drives me round the bend
Orders my favourite food
Can regulate my mood
We can get our kicks for free
While she drives me from A to B
There's nothing left to do

My girlfriend looks so good
Staring through ancient mud
Into each other's eyes
No need to compromise
Cos our compatibility
Is positively uncanny
There's nothing she can't do for me
We're living our electric dream

Turing Test

Named for its three founder members, Ha Ha Ha have been playing together in various forms since the turn of the century, morphing to overcome barriers in space, time and, most recently, global public health emergency. While hard to categorise neatly, Ha Ha Ha’s output covers rock, indie, synthpop, folk and at least one murder ballad.

Ha Ha Ha

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