written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
searching for ways to feel safe
i’m in deep, recurringly
no one can
no one will save me

twenty years down, how many more?
i think i should open my eyes before i can’t

it’s always been in front of me
farsighted, i know i’m free
but to what degree?

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
do not cause me harm
i’m weaker than you think
IV in my arm, i cannot speak
over the sound of machines
heart racing, inpatient
i’ve lost all sense
more medication, but at what expense?

don’t try and reach me
i can’t have company
i’m missing in action
i don’t want compassion
or overreaction

flat lines, fluorescent lights
i’ve resigned, at least i tried

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
once i had a dream
you said you were in love with me
but i woke up too soon
how i want to be the brightest thing you’ve ever seen
but you only see blue

tried to take your pain away
i guess it didn’t work
bite my tongue so i don’t say
three unrequited words
let me know when you’re home safe
and call me if it hurts
do i make it worse?

throw away all of my pride
just to make sure you’re alright

don’t know if i choose
to care for me or care for you
time will tell, i suppose
guess we won't get to
do all the things we said we'd do
never even came close

only ever meant to be
the character in my dreams
don't take it personally
but i think it's best if i leave

love won’t last
you know?  
i’ll end this fast
i got to go

once more i'll listen
to all those pretty songs you sent
and think of you when i do

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
open up my window late at night
trying to see what's beyond the light
search for meaning, i should let it go
maybe i'm just never supposed to know

sometimes i feel so safe
but it never seems to stay
i carry so much weight
but maybe, that will change

could you please stay here right next to me
until i learn how to fall asleep
every night my fears fill up my head
i just wish that i could catch my breath

been a while since i've felt safe
when will all this go away?
i carry so much weight
i don't think that will change
it won't change, it won't change

if i become too much please let me know
won't blame you if you decide to go

written/composed/produced/performed by me
re-mixed/remastered by @heylog

lyrics:
no point in believing
things that you cant see
or am I out of my own mind?
could you just tell me that
it's not meant to be instead
of wasting both our time

i wanted to be
the air that you breathe
but now i have lost your gaze
so much for dreaming
tried to believe that
you wouldn't go away

outside and out of place
just in it for the chase

brought me into your world
because you were bored
i hope i made it all worth while
did i fill the void?
or silence any noise?
does the thought of me make you go wild?

i know the answer
both of my hands hurt
carrying both of us
please let her go
the second you know that
she's not the one you love

was it my fault for trying?
i knew you wouldn't say goodnight

though the silence hurts
the words you used were worse
i'm glad i learned my lesson now

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
in my head
i lost touch with reality
am i dead?
oh no, i think they're afraid of me

how long am i gonna feel this way?
(passed out on my bedroom floor)
hey mom, do you think i'll be okay?
(can't feel my hands anymore)

if it's the last night for me
hold both my hands tight as i go in peace

cause i'm convinced
i have reached my end
(all these headlights blinding me)
i'm done, i quit
a white flag turned to red
(why is all this happening)

6am still haven’t been to sleep
7 hours trapped inside this dream
roll my window down and feel the breeze
then i feel a light fall over me
(could it be?)

finally, i am free

day by day, don't fear
it's not my time yet
i will stay right here
and find peace in my head

written/composed/produced/performed by me
mixed/mastered by @heylog

lyrics:
i don't wanna fall in love
but i don't wanna be alone
afraid of what's to come
but what it is that i'm so afraid of?

you can hold my hand
no not like that, please go
don't know how to feel
i think it's real but how would i know
move over
i die each time you say my name
come closer
it's not your fault i take the blame

and for what it's worth
this back and forth ain't worth it
detach yourself from me
just leave, sorry that i couldn't be perfect

come closer
but i don't want to cause you pain
move over
can't put you through all this again

how will i know if i never try?
i'm just scared i'll run out of time
and that you'll leave without saying why
i'll prepare myself to never call you mine

fwiw

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/424gAr273XLQTRikInbtmv?si=FuQz7kOnTwiRNvzrGJm5QQ

written/performed by me
engineered by heylog

even just a small shed of light
is far too bright for my dark and dormant mind
sing me into sleep, but i don't wanna sleep
cause when i fall asleep all i have is me

i know tears dry
but they'll replace in no time
help me find my sanity
all i ask is that you're here for me
somehow, someday
i'll cry all the fear away
but until then please hold my hand
just don't let me get inside my head

oh, someday i'll find my way
oh, someday i'll be fine if you don't stay
oh, someday but not today

oh, it comes in waves, can't remain the same
but in the end, i'm the one to blame
save me from myself
always need your help
je ne peux plus être seul
et j'ai besoin de toi

chorus

someday

mashup cover of lost stars by adam levine and baby blue by king krule

from an insomniac for the insomniacs

enjoy <3

lost blue lullaby

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/37XXz0zi6xjBLFBSkeZwXD?si=evS34BAWQ1qP5GkjsvfPTw

i want you to know
that i have hope in you
can't stick around
i have too much to do
i want you to know
that you'll be fine
so many things that you will find

i'll always be here somehow
used to read you but i can't now
tell me how you feel
please, just be real

i want you to know
oh, oh

omw (prod. heylog)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3mVjPyY5Fn0HfkYwQqaWoM?si=6O8N-HjBQ-SO09h9yNjPZA
---
guitar by jaylin howard
vocals/production/lyrics/mixing/mastering by me
---
take a look inside my mind
go ahead, dig in deep
tell me what you find
sorry if it's not what you wanna see

i tried, i tried

i tried to be what you wanted
but lost myself in the midst of it all
i should have been up front
built me up just to watch me fall

in the midst of it all (feat. jay)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/40uSYjcI9rTSfijyrNVBql?si=DyOkh2t8Q2SjJQBWraF6jg
---
i've been thinking way too much
about the things that shouldn't stay
as long as you are by my side
promise you won't go away

toujours dans la nuit je pense beaucoup de toi
je dormirai seulement si tu m'atteins, ouais
je ne fermerai pas mes yeux
ta voix est tout ce que je veux entendre
dans la nuit je pense beaucoup, et toi?

i've been thinking way too much
about the things that shouldn't stay
as long as you are by my side
promise you won't go away

toujours dans la nuit je pense beaucoup de toi
je dormirai seulement si tu m'atteins, ouais
je ne fermerai pas mes yeux
ta voix est tout ce que je veux entendre
je ne vais pas dormir avant de voir le soleil

wbu (prod. boyblue)

eillah is alive! 

here is a cover of "the end of the world" by skeeter davis. 

it is full of imperfection and mic cutouts and i hope you enjoy it for what it is <3 

happy new . year!! im excited to make new music this year ☆

the end of the world [cover]

HEY everyone, i'm back with original music after my 8 month hiatus. thanks for listening. i hope you enjoy

lyrics:
no point in believing
things that you cant see
or am I out of my own mind?
could you just tell me that
it's not meant to be instead
of wasting both our time

i wanted to be
the air that you breathe
but now i have lost your gaze
so much for dreaming
tried to believe that
you wouldn't go away

outside and out of place
just in it for the chase

brought me into your world
because you were bored
i hope i made it all worth while
did i fill the void?
or silence any noise?
does the thought of me make you go wild?

i know the answer
both of my hands hurt
carrying both of us
please let her go
the second you know that
she's not the one you love

was it my fault for trying?
i knew you wouldn't say goodnight

though the silence hurts
the words you used were worse
i'm glad i learned my lesson now

goodnight [ver. 1]

hellooo here is my rendition of a beautiful beautiful song by a wonderful underrated artist. listen to sipper's original version here: https://open.spotify.com/track/64REJKL6iUFqdmmdNiYqk5?si=wdLnkc_wQhyf1nqRT0xuyg ! and check out the rest of his stuff while you're at it, you won't regret it.

debut album coming very very soon! : )

lyrics:
i remember everything the day lil peep died
you told me everybody leaves when they need to, so will i
and if i had you for a second it was all it was all worthwhile

cuz we're sick and we're thin
and we're not like them

i remember sitting on the floor, baby's alright
they say that everything is fine if we all just stay inside
and now i know you never know it when you see someone the last time

cuz we're skin and we're bones
we're not kids anymore

oh i, i don't feel 25
when we're alone inside
i'll try to remember i'm alive
you know we're here
we're here, we're gone

fetty guac [cover]

IF IT'S NOT CLEAR I'M STILL HERE
FROM MY HEART TO THE WORLD

eillah

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