The Stars and The Scars (Navicon Torture Technologies) xVSx Shepherd's Brine (Rrose).

Rrose X Navicon Torture Technologies

Andy Stott "Brief Encounter" 
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E-40 "Choices"

Andy Stott x E40 ( x A N D S )

Excerpt from my Full Time Punx DJ set on 9.20.15.

All I Wanted Was A New Mercedes (Cha Cha Lounge Mix)

Jenny Hval "The Great Undressing"
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Jon Hopkins "We Disappear"

Jenny Hval x Jon Hopkins ( x J A Y x E Y C H )

Venetian Snares "Suffocate"
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Kendrick Lamar "HUMBLE."

M E D S x T A L K

MotorSport x Tahoe 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV4zsiU1k1g

Migos, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B x Dedekind Cut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v_rtaye2yY
https://soundcloud.com/leebannon

T E A R S x S P O R T

"First Day of School" by Soulja Boy
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"Pain" by Boy Harsher

https://youtu.be/vLzvZvb5RaM
https://hand-model.bandcamp.com/

F I R S T x P A I N

It is a life without surprises. You are safe. You sleep, you walk, you continue to live. Like a laboratory rat abandoned in its maze by some absent-minded scientist, and which, morning and night, unerringly, unhesitatingly, follows the path to its food dispenser, turning left, turning right, pressing down twice on a pedal ringed in red in order to receive its portion of homogenized feed.
There is no hierarchy, no preference. Your indifference is completely mindless and absurd, a grey man for whom grey has no connotation of dullness, insensitive and morally neutral. You’re attracted by water, but also by stone, by darkness, also by light, by warmth, but also by cold. Also by light, by warmth, but also by cold.
All that exists is your walking, and your gaze, which lingers and slides, oblivious to beauty, to ugliness, to the familiar, and the just, only ever retaining combinations of shapes and lights, which form and dissolve continuously all around you in your eyes, on the ceilings, at your feet, in the sky, in your cracked mirror, in the water, in the stone, in the crowds. 
Tents on the boulevards, men and women, children and dogs, dollars, crushes, burning vehicles and broken shop windows, buildings, ACABs, columns and capital, pavements and gutters, sandstone statues, flags glistening grey in the drizzle, or almost red, or almost white, or almost black, or murder blue. Silences, police lines, crowds at the intersections, empty shops, virus particles, garbage, deserted Sunday streets in August, mornings, evenings, nights.
Now you are the nameless peasant of the world, the one on whom history has lost its hold, the one who no longer feels the rain falling, who does not see the approach of light. All you are is all you know: your life that continues, your breathing, your step, your aging. You see the people coming and going, crowds and objects taking shape and dissolving. Your eye is suddenly caught by a curtain rail in the tiny window: you continue on your way: you are inaccessible.

the man who sleeps

If to be estranged is to be graceful
I’ll take it 
The moments ripen on the trees
Let them fall to the ground

I've never known you like I wanted to 
From years of silence  
We’re really good at celebrating obstacles
It’s what makes us human
 
The one time you gotta say something you say
I can barely do this
And then the one time you gotta know
You don’t know
And then the one time you gotta believe in yourself
You don’t seem to believe in anything
And the one time you gotta do something
You just live your days out

If to be estranged is to be graceful 
I’ll take it
The moments ripen on the trees
Let them fall to the ground

I've never enjoyed anything i wanted to 
From years of nihilism 
We’re really good at celebrating violence
It’s what makes us human
 
That one time you had to be there
You ran away into a wilderness
And the one time you had to understand something
You said I don’t want to understand anything
The angels watch you eat
Your god forsaken meals
Laughter is the best medicine for them
Thinking this is it, or is it
        
Give me the reason
Give me the wrath
Give me the unpalatable dominating cold wind
Give me the blue light
Give me the green light
Give me light to illuminate all the things i've never been able to see
Because of all the shattering
Give me the heat
The hellfires from which we can dream an escape
The two headed despair coin 
The seven headed groan
Throw

celebrating violence

The arguments i wonder
What they are
To hold the ball only to throw it out
Satisfy the need to hit the ball 
The hands on bats are swinging all around
And all the while running yourself lower
Take to base yourself to lower things
All you need is to go chase that ball
All I need
  
Is barking dogs and helicopter rides into the sun
Someone took my hand, handed me a tube, and led me into an infirmary
I understand what the smell is 
But in general i feel no sadness
Neurotic medicine 
Ribbon medicine
Bright medicine
In the end modernity rears its arbitrary head again
Or a waiting room to watch itself end
In the end when I shit in the red bin
Bones in the red bin
Flesh in the red bin
I hope they don’t bother with the fence
To keep the wild dogs
From eating my body
In the end
 
The places I can only imagine what they are
Going still i wonder to the dawn
I know the where is needed and the rounds
And all the while the leading lows are own

All I need
Is for you to go easy on the morality
On the shit sandwich of life
All I need 
Is to mean well and demean well
Figuring out that these arms maybe don’t even belong to me 
All I need
The cobblestone roads
The inaudible scream 
The limitless sky

baseball field

Yeah the endless clouds
That we’ve been obsessing over 
Are just some kind of water
I breathe into a mask
And push the possibilities 
Behind any walls that I can find

I would like to be distracted 
By different kinds of water
But too busy fighting my own guts
Instead of fighting
The pieces of shit that are out hungry 
For my blood

Fighting the colon 
Fighting the brains
Fighting good feelings
Fighting darkness
Fighting figures of speech
Fighting the unending desire to belong

And they say
Time passes and the memories erode away 
So if you’ve got it in you, gorilla glue your face to something nice

But youre out crushing the gravestones at the cemetery again
You’re dispersing the hate like its seeds to grow again
But you can't help it, you know you're god
So how can you afford to help anyone
How can anyone else
Possibly belong
In your stupid little club

Fighting the other
Fighting yourself
Fighting ideas
Fighting sobriety
Fighting the green grass that's plenty
Fighting the water
And always fighting whatever is different that comes

I want you to know
I've been staring at it 
For the longest while
And I figured out 
It’s an accident 
That when your eyes look out your body knows that it feels

I want you to know
I took the negativity 
And ran with it
As far as the eyes could see 
Green rays on the horizons
I can’t find the difference between 
Right and wrong

And i want you to know I took it with me
I internalized the feelings of hate
Old things are thrown away like you'll one day be thrown away
Never finding the difference between right and wrong
Always waiting for some green ray on the horizon

american brain worms

I shut my eyes
And when I opened my eyes another nightmare was beginning
And this nightmare was wearing a dazzling white suit
He was pretending that he cared about me but he didn’t
All he wanted to do was take from me
And let myself blow and bend like a tree in the wind
What did I tell you he said
Look away from the golden sunsets
Look away from the drying rivers
The choking summer sun
What do you mean, no
I can’t dance to this music 
I just want to have another drink
OK man, just do it 
I said, OK man, just do it

When I opened my eyes
I was thrown through the french doors
And into the garden
Choking on the smoke
But it still didn’t get me high
Lights and voices spilled from the remains of the bathroom window
But a few yards beyond the rubble
Night drew up its barricades and sealed them off 
The barely glow of the stars
The trees and flowers stewing in their burnt odors
And there was no moon

Hey man, pull out your white handkerchief
And spread it over the darkness like ink
Spread the pale cloth over the darkness like ink
He gave me the goggles to watch and I put them on
To stare at the facade and almost think that the unripe pears could be lumber with which to rebuild
Take the smoldering wilderness and try to domesticate that with rocket ships
Or bury the consciousness in the darkness like ink
But the emptiness became an advertisement
And the drone operators came and uncovered me
Their gaze piercing through the veil of the white cabinets and the pink wallpaper
So I crawled into bed and pulled the sheets over my head
But even that didn’t shut out the light

the drone operator

The horses and the pigs
Might rob each other out on their oil rigs
But you don’t care
You’re already young
Run circles with knives
Read books about trees
Think about death
Accept fate and relax
Run circles with knives
Take off your clothes at night
Or don’t take off your clothes at night
Or wear your skin like paranoia
Run circles with knives
A hundred eyes or two 
Looking out at you
Run circles with knives
A total stillness
That’s greasy and unchanged
Run circles with knives
You might hear voices
About what you should do
But don’t pay attention
Run circles with knives

Once a day you think about breathing
And then you can’t breathe 
A giant blanket of hair
Snuffing you out 
Once a day you think about leaving
But you can’t leave
An enormous friend giving you a hug
In the night
Run circles with knives

Time is a piece of shit and it hates you 
And your manufactured joy
You’ll never get to do
The things you wanted to do
Before you die

Bed frames in the streets
And flames in the sheets 
A hundred eyes or two 
Looking out at you
Don’t want to meet them anywhere
Coated livers and greasy hair
And all the while
Little birds still chirp out their songs in a trash can
But fuck it
You got a picture of your face 
That’s etched into the sun
And you’ve already won
But the paranoid inside me wants out

The fire season in the mountains
Offers up no peace or inspiration
And this is no way to say I’m sorry
Running my head into the bell jar
Over and over
Running my head into the sand
Whenever I can
And etched into the sun is your face
The paranoid inside me wants out

run circles with knives

Crying children are everywhere in god’s house
Spitting out their chewed up food at your face
Art sucks you into death
The pursuit of unneeded content and a paycheck leaves you scabbed up and alone 
Wondering if you’ll ever escape the feudal lords
Oh how I want out 
But am I too late
What if the efforts I have made are too late 

Craving pizza and a way out I wake up
Coffee paints my insides the color of paradise   
I exist in a movie that I watch daily
Without recourse or ability to change the channel since there is no remote
Does it bother you to be held so thick with unknowing
Are you so stricken with fear that you’re also blind
Can’t even bring yourself to care
About the biggest of things
The most elephant of things

Sunshine rubs me awake
Sunshine brings me down
Sunshine whisks me away 
Where i hear its stories all sunblind and tearful
The pavement burns black
The river is driving way too fast
The cameras are front facing
Don’t even bother thinking about a tomorrow

Driving around eagle rock in my black car
With a broken air conditioner
Rattling somewhere in a very scary way under the hood
Fake meats and fake lives
Go together like tea and milk
In the cottages of england
But am I too late

Sunshine rubs me awake
Sunshine brings me down
Sunshine whisks me away 
Where i hear its stories all sunblind and tearful
The pavement burns black
The river is driving way too fast
The cameras are front facing
Don’t even bother thinking about it until tomorrow

sunblind

"Tell Me When To Go" by @e40
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"SLIME" by @0800shygirl

2 S H Y 2 G O

All mistakes are up to date @wreckandreference

hand model

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