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“THIS IS THE MOST LEGALLY SIGNIFICANT THING YOU WILL DO, OTHER THAN DYING.” 

Marriage is something that is so important to people. In fact, you probably thought about what your wedding would be like as a child.

When people go into a marriage they think so much about their venue, their cake, their guest list -- but they never really think about what they are signing up for.

Marriage is, legally, one of the most important things you can do. You are signing away half of your life.

And there’s nothing wrong with that - if it’s the right person.

On this episode of The School of Greatness, I brought on someone who knows so much about people being with the wrong person and how to set yourself up for a great marriage: NYC divorce attorney James Sexton.


James has intentionally focused his practice on divorce and family law since his graduation from Fordham Law School. In addition to his Juris Doctorate (Law Degree) he has a Master of Arts degree from New York University where he focused his graduate research on the areas of persuasive speech and propaganda studies.

To top it all off, James is the author of the incredibly informative book on marriage, If You’re in My Office, You’re Already Too Late.

On this episode he discusses how a lot of people rush into a serious relationship without ironing out all of the details. He shares the insights he’s learned from thousands upon thousands of failed marriages.

And he shared why he still believes marriage is a good idea.

Learn all of the inside secrets to creating a successful marriage, on Episode 626.


Some Questions I Ask:

Have there been any clients that were going to get a divorce then decided not to? (9:28)

What is the technology of marriage? (10:35)

What training would you want people to go through before getting married? (17:12)

How long were you married for? (23:24)

Do you feel like when marriage gets rough that they should throw in the towel or work through it? (27:36)

What are the most important things to find out about your spouse before getting married? (32:08)

When a couple is disconnected, what can they do to reconnect? (35:32)

What are the top 3 reasons people get divorced? (38:56)

What’s the best way to handle financial stress? (40:47)

What is the real reason people cheat? (45:48)

What does the government dictate in a marriage? (56:47)

Would you ever get married again? (1:05:21)

Is there a marriage you’ve seen that you admire a lot? (1:13:23)


In This Episode You Will Learn:

Why people tell more to their lawyers than their therapists (7:29)

The real failure rate of marriages (13:16)

What inspired James to write his book (20:45)

When one client realized her marriage was over (30:02)

The thing James loves about divorce law (34:36)

The best thing people can do to solve their problems (38:15)

The history of marriage (42:00)

How to keep your sex life satisfying (49:54)

The importance of a prenup (1:00:18)

James’ marriage advice to his kids (1:11:06)

The School of Greatness

On Apple Podcasts

Marriage Secrets from a Divorce Lawyer with James Sexton

President Trump recently described a plan to tackle the opioid abuse crisis that includes tougher sentencing on dealers and expanding access to treatment. The President’s Commission on Combating Drug Addiction and the Opioid Crisis cites the need to move ahead quickly with treatment alternatives for those addicted to opioids. Yet, recent public surveys show that Americans are confused about opioid-treatment programs, with only about half believing there is an effective, long-term addiction treatment. There are programs offered for the treatment of opioid addiction, including medicated–assisted treatment, drug rehabilitation programs, addiction support groups, and counseling. This Forum – featuring the unique perspectives of former governors and the 21st United States Secretary of Health and Human Services — will examine the state government’s role in current and future approaches to treatment. These approaches may include educating the public about these alternatives, paying for them, regulating their performance and availability, training and certifying health professionals in their use, and developing guidelines for certification of these treatments. This is the second in a series of Governors Roundtables.

Part of The Andelot Series on Current Science Controversies, this Forum event was presented jointly with Reuters on Thursday, April 12, 2018. 

Watch the entire series at ForumHSPH.org.

Opioids and Addiction: A Governors Roundtable on State Approaches to Treatment

Dr David Belin, Department of Psychology, discusses our current understanding of the psychological and neural basis of impulsive/compulsive disorders such as drug addiction and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He will offer an overall framework within which to understand how goal-directed behaviour, initially aiming at experiencing euphoria, pleasure, or performing better at the exam, in the context or drug use, or relieving distress in the context of OCD becomes, in some vulnerable individuals, a compulsive habit.

Dr David Belin is a Lecturer in Behavioural Neuroscience at the Department of Psychology of the University of Cambridge.

Dr Belin was born in Blois, France. He graduated in 2005 in Neuroscience and Neuropharmacology at the University of Bordeaux 2. During his PhD he developed the first preclinical model of cocaine addiction based in the operationalisation of multiple clinical criteria of the pathology as defined in humans.

Dr Belin then moved to the laboratory of Professor Barry Everitt at the Department of Experimental Psychology of the University of Cambridge in January 2006. With his mentor Dr Belin investigated the corticostriatal mechanisms of cocaine seeking habits and the relationships between impulsivity and compulsive cocaine self-administration, leading to a breakthrough in our understanding of the neurological and psychological mechanisms subserving individual vulnerability to cocaine addiction.

In 2009 Dr David Belin tenured at the INSERM in France and established his INSERM team in Poitiers (France) which focused on the psychological, neural and cellular mechanisms of individual vulnerability to compulsive disorders and their modulation by the environment. Soon it became apparent that Cambridge is where he wanted to carry out his research and he came back in October 2013, being appointed Lecturer in Neuroscience at the Department of Pharmacology. He moved back to the Department of Psychology in October 2016, where he has now established his research on the psychological and neural mechanisms of compulsive disorders.

Dr David Belin has received the Mémain-Pelletier Award from the French Academy of Science and the Young Investigator Award from the European Behavioural Pharmacology Society. He received a visiting scientist award from the Chinese Academy of Science in December 2017.

Dr David Belin - When The Object Of Your Actions Escapes You

Whether it's about the risks of eating burnt toast or changes in sexual habits, numbers get used to give weight to a media story. But statistics are frequently abused, with exaggerations and misunderstandings disguised by the illusion of hard facts. Professor David Spiegelhalter shows how to identify the naughty numbers and the shabby stats, and how some basic mathematics can take apart scare stories.

David Spiegelhalter is Winton Professor for the Public Understanding of Risk and Fellow of Churchill College at Cambridge University, and as Chair of the Winton Centre for Risk and Evidence Communication, he works to improve the way in which risk and statistical evidence are taught and discussed in society. He gives many presentations to schools and others, advises organisations on risk communication, and is a regular commentator on risk issues. He presented the BBC4 documentaries ‘Tails you Win: the Science of Chance’ and the award-winning ‘Climate Change by Numbers’. He was elected FRS in 2005, awarded an OBE in 2006, and was knighted in 2014 for services to medical statistics. For 2017-2018 he is President of the Royal Statistical Society. In 2011 he came 7th in an episode of Winter Wipeout.

David Spiegelhalter - How To Spot Dodgy Data In The News

Brandon and Chris have a supremely interesting conversation about the character of Satan or Lucifer, inspired by a review sent in by a listener, and they attempt to shed some light on this inherently mysterious figure and the connected story of the "Fall of Man", which as many listeners of the show may intuit, does not have the traditional significance that many people assume due to Christian dogma.

666: What is the deal with the Devil?

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Opioids and Addiction: A Governors Roundtable on State Approaches to Treatment

Harvard University

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