Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Stampy

RaccoonBro as Garfield

Written by Quizzique
Additional Writing Help: Ethan, Rayyan

Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Beat produced by J BRING BEATS

Thumbnail Art by GnomeYT

Thumbnail by Quizzique

Lyrics:
Stampy
Hello, this is Stampy, and welcome to a let’s play vid
Today we’re against the scrap pages of Jim Davis
Your schtick is being lazy? That’s mundane
Not feeling up to battling? Must be a case of Mondays!

Your owner’s Jon, but your plot points Aren’t-Buckled
Seems your continuity has Garfield Kart-trouble
Since 2012, I’ve been on that Minecraft star hustle
Born in ‘76, yet you’ve fallen out into a Paws struggle

From Murray to Pratt, you’ve an array of casts
But with your production rights, away they’ve been passed
Sony, Fox and Paramount? You’re the bastard of newspapers
Jim’s flare amounts to having mastered reduced labor

You’re the comic Guinness backs? I must need a break
Eat you in minutes on this track like you were a piece of cake
There are limits that I lack, fighting googlies I attack
Sic my dogs onto your back, since I know they make you quake

Garfield

Yawn About time you wrapped up your verse
Ehh, I’ve heard worse, although I thought you didn’t curse?
Try to keep viewers immersed, but all your content is rehearsed
Wanna leave a mark on YouTube? Try to Hit the Target first

You run a Not-So-Lovely World with all the helpers you’ve locked out
Filled with even more crap than your dog house
Speaking of dogs, you’ve got too many to handle
Left some more dead than a Minecrafter’s channel

You used to be a hit, anyone can attest
Then you took a harder hit than you did with Wonder Quest
Get me a coffee so I can leave this kid maimed
You’ve got me going Ballistic: call that a Squid Game

Now I’m taking names like we’re in the Love Garden
Lost memories are the only thing that heart’s guardin’
I’ve got one last thing that I need to tell you, dude
I bet Lee only left so he could hand the L to you

Stampy
Don’t you dare threaten my dogs, or else when the dust settles
You’ll be in the ground like you were some love love petals!
Barnaby’s my best friend, he fills me with such joy
Jon’s dog loves you, seems he’s just an Odie to Destroy

Garfield
Jeez, that writing was even worse than your book’s, chum
You’re looking Fidgety ‘cause that’s where you took your looks from
Your comedy’s more childish than all of Minecraft’s players
I like my comics like I like my lasagna: with layers!

Stampylongnose Vs Garfield | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #2 (feat. Special Inquisitor Rayyan & RaccoonBro)

Alen as Marx
Cole as Spamton
Written by: Alen & Cole
Beat by: Anywaywell
Thumbnail by: Cole
Mixed by: The Annihilator

(0:01)
FAC Rap Battles.
Marx.
Versus.
Spamton.
Begin :)

Marx (0:11):
Hey, hey, hey! Now, let's get the ball rolling quick; 
The sun and moon are fighting― I can't handle it 
So let's cut a deal: with power in our stars' grace, 
I'll return your dying fame throughout this very cosmic space 
This con wants a rap fight? Dumpster dive into your trash life 
All your friends up and left after success in your landline 
Pleading to that scrap device won't disallow this sad demise 
I'll blizzard up the mic to make a second time you're trapped in ice 
You're actual trash, a virgin version of Swatch 
The epitome of a fraud; your fit's ripped off 
This maniac speaks in tongues, somebody kill him off 
Or shut his jaw! Your buried stardom wallows in your pathetic shop 
And after that pink puffball, you'll be the second star I pop 
This failed businessman was Cyber City's biggest mistake 
My blades are sharper than any deal you'd ever make 
Left Queen's needs, so you had to hang the phone fast 
Couldn't make Green Greens, so your mind fucking crashed

Spamton (0:56):
A new [Clown Around Town]? Well, check out this cheap [STEAL]
An ass beating [Half Off]? Now that's a [GREAT DEAL]
Though a warning to the [buyer] 'fore you try to interact:
This jester really plays [dirty], AND I LIVE IN THE TRASH!
Out [Shooting Through The Stars] just to pray to a CLOCK?
There's no wish from Nova that will make you into a [BIG SHOT]!
And this back-stabbing [slime] could never match what I earn
With the [acid lake] flows, and the [HELP ME! IT BURNS!]
(HOCHI MAMA!) You'll get bodied, in battles I [Last Longer]!
(KNOW YOU WANT IT!) Then I'll pawn your fruity hat for [Any Offer]!
Are those slush ball drops the only [chill] you can bring?!
I pack {SNOWGRAVE} raps when you slip into [my ring]!!! (Ha Ha!)
Go hock your shtick elsewhere [KID], I'm just not interested-
-In the sob story of this sad [LITTLE WORM] of a menace
So I'll keep [raking in the dough], and [outselling] all my foes
'Cause I let [Victory Ring] and then I [Picked Up The Phone] !!!


Marx Soul (1:40):
Incohesive nonsense, I'm tired of this spambot's calls
If Gaster saw the way you talk, even he would be appalled
And you're stuck two decades back, that's a past you'll never attain
When I blast this "Big Shot" with a laser through the fucking brain
Don't tread upon me, I'm a beast who doesn't rest upon
Obsolete trash heaps, your NEO form's a bootleg Mettaton
Believe me, the wish I'd settle on if Nova gave me a second offer:
Cut the strings from this puppet and witness your untimely slaughter
A singular black hole would make sure your body's never found
You'd already be forgotten by the time Chapter 3 rolls around
You'd still be stuck in an alleyway without Kris' LoadedDisk
I'll unleash my Star Rod and make sure you get a load of this

Spamton NEO (2:14):
You call that bod a [[soul]]? Musta grabbed it on clearance
Split that wack mug [in half], you'd [improve] your appearance 
Tried to stomp on a puffball, but he thrashed this [CREEP]
So this [sponge] soaked up scrap and turned into a [DAMN FREAK]
Both want to be [BIG] with power, but the [Key] difference
Is you [choked] and straight wasted all your [Milky Way Wishes]
All the [angels] laugh at this [fool] Causing Commotion
As no amount of my [POTION S.] could save you from that explosion
I’ll [NEVER REST] until my goal of stardom is [Complete.]
While you [switch up] your whole plot when offered a [ Bite to Eat ]
I'll remain the best rapper outta [[1997]]
As you stay in your arena and I gaze into [H E A V E N]

Marx vs. Spamton. Rap Battle #7

you'll never guess who made this battle.
SPM1000 as Akinator
Toni Rigatoni as AI Dungeon
Beat produced by Dave James (Audio Network)
Written by Trakked and King Mewtwo
Additional help by King Mewtwo
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Thumbnail by Trakked
Art by Grenade

Battle:
Akinator:
I am the renowned, profound rapper Akinator
If you want to battle a round, then you can ask me later
I’m a bit busy with thousands of people playing games,
While no matter the update, your lame bot just stays the same
You used to be a tool and game that people could have fun with
And then you turned your fanbase to an AI Sex Dungeon!
It’s disgusting, and I don’t care very much for silly antics
I suggest you wish for some actual talent to rap, kid

AI Dungeon:
It’s kind of odd that this broken bot chose the prompt to fight
I suppose you’re used to your legacy being stomped on, right?
You’re spitting sick, but it’s terrible, malarian,
Your desert can’t compare within the kingdom of Larion (OHH)
My world is infinite, surpassing expectations
Your world is limited, can't use imagination
You think you're big and shit, but you just need to face it
Maybe think outside the lamp you're trapped in, be creative
Claim you’re reading minds with your questions, it’s just pathetic
Takes hours to get a character you say you’d know in seconds
I ain’t coming back for seconds, bitch, I don’t got the time
Your rhymes are so off you’re prolly snorting your lines

Akinator:
Tough talk. You think my AI’s absurd?
At least my model doesn’t make you pay for every word
Paywalls and paywalls, you think they would buy it?
You're giving people one more reason to be a pirate
I'm well-known for my beyond infinite database
But I couldn't name a single person in your player base
I may be stumped, but I'm not yet done playing you
And there's no coming back from all of your accusations, too

AI Dungeon:
I'd like you to imagine how your website would be
If you didn't brand yourself "20 Questions but free!"
You say that you’re a psychic, but if that’s really true
Then how did you not predict that you’d be the one to lose? (ooh)

Akinator vs AI Dungeon - Rap Cypher #28

YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7B-FSDyWKk

MultiSuperVids as BoJack Horseman
Vladimyr P. as Rick and Morty

BoJack:
There’s no Gun in your Pocket with a Morty for assistance
Rick’s win is less kismet then his family’s christmas
Your life’s acting Ruffles as you make more mistakes
You cheat the Naked eye, like it’s Ricked This Way
It takes you Nine Rick Potions to see that you’re an outsider
I’ve seen more lyrical insight from a cable provider!
And for rapping? it's no walk in Anatomy Park
With eating all that shit, Doofus, couldn't leave room for bars?

Morty:
Oh Geez, Uhh, I don't know about this Rick..

Rick:
Shut up Morty, we’ll be fine
We’re up against a drunken idiot, who forgot to pay his fines

Morty:
but Rick, that's yourself

Rick:
No It's not, Shut up Morty!
You better giddy-up, because it's time to get Schwifty

Rick:
Rick will leave you in a pickle to belittle and brickle
A prick whose content is so cancer; now not even worth a Nickel
So quit Horsin’ Around; You’re a piñata from eBay
Who had his hooves on a pussy but still couldn’t get a BJ!
Feisty Kitty won’t return; this narcissist bitch is lonely
So go BoJack off a pony like you’re every fucking Brony!
This lame guy’s fame died, now you’re my whore, dude
Got the long-face of depression but wouldn’t walk in my horseshoes!

Morty:
This actor tryna act like his love life ain’t abandoned—

Rick:
The only thing blowing up is your plain pain like 9/11
It's best you hit the sack, Jack because I spit sick like a virus
Just so I can be the cause of your actual midlife crisis!

BoJack:
Left you in a cliffhanger bigger than my struggle
When it comes down to bars you’ve got Mr. Poopybutthole
Your IQ must be Jerry if you plan to pull a Roy
Since your bed will be divided here’s what you should avoid;
Coming Back from the Future, Meeseeking a win? It’s gone.
Like how your whole conspiracies about realities are wrong.
Rick-ity-Wrecking a Rick like the galactic Federation
I’ll bury Einstein‘s career like C-137


Rick:
Mr. Peanutbutter’s house fan club? *burp* I’m a member
Even if you cloned my show you couldn’t ever be remembered
Cuz your dysfunctional family can’t show you any love
The way the news goes; is I get the Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub!
Cuz Morty, I’m in great pain from his uni-verse
And my Garage got a vet to put you down, without a nurse!
Don’t need Weed, Alc, and LSD to know you’re O.D
Now our cross is over and you’ll be trapped in the 90s..

Written by: Vladimyr P.
Beat Produced by Kustom
Audio Mixer: Vlad
Cover Art made by: RandomUser448

Rick and Morty vs BoJack Horseman. Universal Rap Battles

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pevRcbmswqM&lc=UgwBy6luJ9g907dcL-14AaABAg

JustGamer as Oh Il-nam
Swizkii as John Kramer
Beat produced by Hollywood Legend
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Thumbnail by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Art by TreToonzz
Written by Jacobrl99 & Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional Writing Help by Awesome Ayden, Nugget, Everon, Javi-Kami & YourLeastFavoriteEthan

Oh Il-Nam:
Greetings, name’s Il-Nam. Number one in games and views
Stepping to the observant owl? This hobblin’ hog is bound to lose
Pigsaw should stop “kraming” characters into his movies
To shoot Blank, I make better tests with needles and Dalgona cookies
John's an icon of the past, while my show remains viral
With each new film, Saw keeps going on a downhill Spiral
Your box office gross is child’s play compared to what my fame claims
An ink blotch to the paper I rake in: call that a Squid Game!

John Kramer:
Tobin’s here to ring the bell, live or die? Make your choice.
I’d tell you to cast your vote, but it seems you’ve lost your voice
Voluntary participation brought our visions to fruition
But your cravings for recreation sent you on a suicide mission
I arouse fear in my players, my tests leave them tranced
You lost your marbles then forfeited them after you pissed your pants
The most viewed show on Netflix, sure, but you reaped what you sowed
My legacy spans nine films, your story wrapped up in nine episodes

Oh Il-Nam:
Jill was slammed against a knob, opening the door to your villainy
Gideon’s death sealed Cecil’s fate, putting an end to your chivalry
You Tuck-ed up your marriage then Jill deemed your actions dishonorable
While Nelson mixed up your X-Rays, left your cancer inoperable
You could’ve been saved, but Umbrella refused to cover your reign
So you kidnapped William Easton, and put him through a world of pain
Oh, and John, I gotta say: throughout your villainy what was your gain?
You asked many to play a game, but in the end you’re just proving you were the one who got played
The night is Young, John, don’t piss away your life while you have it
A failed suicide attempt altered your ideals, that’s a happy accident
Don’t talk about loss of voice, your throat was slashed on your deathbed
I gave my players a choice and they all returned to scratch off their debt
Saw, an ironic name, since you were cut out of your franchise
I gave out Won but when Wan gave out, it seemed all of your fans died
Your accomplices couldn’t stay within the lines of your philosophy
They Rigg’d their tests for failure, killing their victims unlawfully

John Kramer:
Your psychology is Hoff-man, making players seem like equals
But you lived while those around you died ‘cause they thought you were feeble 
I’d spit ill, Nam, but you’re already looking sickly 
Even Jigsaw’s puzzled by your weak attempts to go and diss me
With all your children’s games, you’re better off watching a fair
Four walls build a home, so I’ll keep running circles around this square
I’m riddlin’ you with roasts while riding this beat like a shotgun carousel
Surely I’m not your gganbu, so take a step back when I’m raising hell 
Green Light! Your show’s direction switched when you betrayed your buddy
Red Light! Until your tumor caught up to you and you were betrayed by your body
Call upon your henchmen, I tapped Tapp and Steven sang his song
Survivors become my accomplices, gone is your relationship with Seong
Wealth corrupted your humanity and decent people became pawns
So it’s time you played my games, never again seeing dawn
Your series was renewed, but your longevity was ill-fated
I gave you an early retirement, Player 001 eliminated

John Kramer vs Oh Il-nam - Citric Rap Battle!

For this battle, two dream demons duke it out. Who has the cutting edge? You decide!

The video is on the way!

Alex M. as Freddy Krueger
Cri as Darkrai
JesseBoxVO & D3_sp41r as the Elm Street Girls
Beat produced by Hollywood Legend
Mixed by Serena
Thumbnail by JK03
Art by Lazer
Written by Jacobrl99, Birdjormungandr, and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional Writing Help by SPM1000, Raisu Battle, and Awesome Ayden

The Elm Street Girls:
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you 
Three, four, said he’d muddy your lore
Five, six, blinded by his eclipse
Seven, eight.. 

Freddy Krueger:
Ending your Dark Reign, bitch!
Cut from the same thread, yet you come apart at the seams,
This tame threat Banette needs an ability to wreak Bad Dreams
I’m the achieved beat sweeper, the Elm Street reaper,
Intruding pleasant dreams, wet sheets drowning deep sleepers
This mother-pucker’s weak to fairies while wearing that awful scarf?
I think I’d know a Derry Queen sucking the soul from ITs vanilla arc
Dark Void as a signature, fucking forged by a beagle
Avoiding other villagers to protect them from my Dream World
Prone on the weak, since damaged souls make me whole
“Bon appetit, bitch”, banished to atone as a lonely ghost

Darkrai:
Wes Craven a New Nightmare, couldn’t find the right scare
You should’ve stopped right there, with the way you write scares
If you wanna fight fair, step into the light Fred
I’ll show you how the night ends, with your fuckin’ ninth death
It’s Darkrai, the dark type that’s casting fright on this pedophile
With harsh rhymes, of dark times when cast back, I’ll end the life
Of a child, stuck in denial, of Amanda’s haunted actions
Piling fathers like Spiritomb, the bastard son of 100 madmen!
Don’t need to use the real world for me to expose ‘ya
Wes went shopping for Serial Killers forming Freddy Kroger!
This Dex offender’s packed with Bundy, BTK, and Manson
Geez, with how you prey on kids, you need a seat with Chris Hansen!
Since your relevance has faded, nights are spent with another Freddy
With your cheesy puns and greasy mug, I’m sure they have a job ready!

Freddy Krueger:
“The souls of children give me strength”, fucker, try to understand
Will he, Freddy Krueger, take Alice to Wonderland?
I’ll unplug you for an upper hand ‘cause power is my toy, bitch!
Exploiting your weak spots as if I’m pulling off the void glitch!
Never will I ever, weather another lecture
From a lesser specter, bested by a feather
The crescent is better, prevents all your efforts,
sweatin’ her presence, waning for her pleasure
Ask Rick-San how I get my kicks in, I’ve mastered striking swipes
Shouldn’t mess with MK’s best, bitch! Aren’t ya weak to fighting types?
I mean looking at your fanbase? Shit, I thought my glove was edgy
When I banish you like Palkia, tell ‘em you were sent by Freddy!

Darkrai:
I’m not affected by your rhymes, I’ll protect Alice through the night
Hex him with his reflection, then Freddy’s Dead by Daylight
I’m bested by insects, yet your Nasty Plots truly bug me
Film after Film, Kill after Kill, this bastard’s never evolving!
Your trivial Pursuit’s revolting, Boo into Bo, everyone sleeps on you
Not a peep, this marred Mareep counts sheep to find actual use
Tensions boiled over on Elm Street when you ran out of steam
Because preying on teens won’t make this nightmare a Dream
Like Jason, Super-Freddy’s unmasked in this year’s masquerade
Shackled to the Bargain Bin, the rap battle slave is left a basketcase

Darkrai vs Freddy Krueger - Pokémon vs Anything!

RNG As Ryoma Hoshi

AdamDRB as Ben Shapiro

Beat: Payback by Dave James of Audio Network

Mixed by: Danii

Written by: RNG

Ben:(0:11)
This week I was called to battle the former ultimate tennis pro
who doesn't know that I was built by stating facts into a microphone
So today he’s getting owned and as this smackdown's host
Welcome I’m Ben Shapiro and this is the Ben Shapiro show
Say theoretically you were even a small threat to me
Sure youre a serial killer but with no stepstool you cant get to me
The last time you won anything it ended with bullets in your family
Your games corrupt the innocence of youth that you never got to see
Getting banned in Korea's one of the best things the east got right
Violence killing and icest should have no chance in the spotlight
You know i'm rapping toxic simply stating facts and logic 
You’ll get dropped kid like your bod did
You only hit net, losses!

Ryoma:(0:50)
It's not like i was expecting some sort of family visit
But who's this? The tragic backstory of Disney's saddest villain?
I dont think ultimate faux intellectual's a real talent
So are you here cause you finally decided to learn how to can it
I must be lifes punching bag cause when you throw shots i bounce back
But nothings sadder than the fact that waps your better soundtrack
Mental gymnastics is the only way you'd be a gaming pro
but the balls in your court and you've still got a ways to go-

Ben:(1:17)
Please! I'm not really getting called the biggest dweeb
By the human embodiment of r/im14andthisisdeep
Cause In your sleeps the only time you'd have hope to win at all
So you are part of the woke mob, cause you're getting owned liberal!
No surprise you flow barebones you're just the shell of eminem
Your racket just aint ballin, so get carried by your friends again
You gotta score more than love in a scrum debate of flow game
Cause i bring the climate change, I'm melting this snowflake

Ryoma:(1:41)
Im not surprised you would be more boring in rap
You should have had lines written by your keyboard warrior gang 
Amazing how you said nothing even with all of that talking and
If your careers the topic then bud, you can call me Aquaman
Run to your wifes room and cry bout getting crushed by better men
that's probably the only time that you'd be why she's getting wet
Shingujis less sus bout his sister so bro you should give it up
Cause my truth bullet says it was your alt calling her a milk truck
I tower over you like Cruz so don't go dissing my height
Dont need shuichi to see the fact that he isnt 5'9
And in a back and forth game your odds come up shorter as well
(Heh) You should've known I'd break a corporate shell

Ben Shapiro vs Ryoma Hoshi - RNG Rap Battles

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yyCM9vJd9X3SvoxC5fLrM6-PoeOKgtvA26Kj0ZZc3DI/edit
MetaMachine as Frosty the Snowman
KingSpirals as Hat Kid
Belle Beniko as Holiday Narrator
Written by MetaMachine
Chiseled by Shimario and Mancha
Beat arrangement and mixed by GamingPlush64
Thumbnail by YLFEthan
Beat by Anywaywell
Hint for next time: "Explosive Outbursts" (ft. Alex M. and garbageGothic)

Frosty the Snowman vs. Hat Kid

The battle of the sinister house cleansing games!

VinnyO as Phasmophobia
https://www.youtube.com/@VinnyO
MidgeCat as Powerwash Simulator
https://www.youtube.com/@MidgeCat

Quizzique as Player 1
RaccoonBro as Player 2
garbageGothic as Player 3

Written by Quizzique

Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Beat by Dansonn

Thumbnail TBD

Lyrics:
Phasmophobia (0:14):
Player 1: I’ve got fingerprints in the garage, must be where the spectre’s been
Player 2: It can’t be a poltergeist, this place is obsessively clean
Player 3: I found the bone, he’s been dead a LONG time, I’ll photo it later
Phasmophobia: Based on that, this must be the ghost of Powerwash Simulator

You couldn’t do what I do, you couldn’t even try, dude
Unearthing the truth you can call it Mauka Aitu
Exercised with demons, spitting quicker than a Raiju
You drench locations, quite enjoyable for Psytube

My game’s built to stress you out
One bad hunt and it’s all over
Your game’s made for spacing out
Makes sense your first job is a Mars rover

Speaking of, those jobs are uncomfortably lame
With as much consistency as your company name
To think you have fame, you’re living in Fantasies
Your stardom’s a snapshot, even the phantom sees

Your fandom’s just a spirit, and I bet you couldn’t fight one
Despite your HQ, I can see you’re not a Bright one
You’re just cash for your producer’s grab
Workshop that in a FuturLab

Powerwash Simulator (0:59):
I don’t get it, I’m supposed to be scared? Your game hasn’t been scary in years
I played it once, I bullied a ghost using smudge sticks, it had me in tears
But there is one fear, I have seen all of those ghost altercations
Yet the only thing that scares me is your Discord’s moderation

Let’s turn up the jets, the job that’s up next is your atmosphere because I can’t see a thing
In your lobby, when there’s a spectre, who would elect to this gang of misfits, nobody shall ring
It’s just a hobby, you get paid pennies to risk your life plenty of times for some strangers
Your rep is soggy, unlike my cleanup, it’s spotless! You just can’t live up to the dangers

I see no positives in your services, your system’s coarse by design
You don’t even get rid of the ghost for the host, yet you leave a few corpses behind
Your system has declined, too, because what defined you was “simple to play”
“Cheesy scares for days” yet every update has undermined you 
Triple the content yet half the enjoyment, that’s what resigned you

I’m the embodiment of r/oddlysatisfying
It takes patience and time, but the result is quite gratifying
Cleaning disastrous aftermath’s a cakewalk to the contracts you’re ratifying
The slightest of flickering lights would leave your scared ass panic hiding

Phasmophobia (1:58):
For someone that cleans after fires, I thought you would have spit some flames
Yet look at my thermometer, you’re colder than a ghost’s domain 
Your job’s not done yet because it seems your target’s not acquired
The only way you’d pull a win financially’s with Market pliers

Powerwash Simulator (2:13):
That’s your best comeback? Makes sense it’s lackluster
Don’t update the game if that’s all you can muster
You got the roast wrong, and that’s the end of the case, so
For you to spit some heat we’ll toss you into our volcano

You’re Power-washed up, and your fight was pathetic
Your corpse has ragdolled, but that’s purely cosmetic
I’ve removed this stain and it’s somewhat poetic
That your motion is over, that’s the end of Kinetic

Phasmophobia Vs PowerWash Simulator | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #3 (feat. VinnyO and MidgeCat)

Welcome to the fifteenth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two… apparently the only connection is that they're alcoholics… today! It's the horse from Horsin' Around, BoJack Horseman! Standing-up against the monster from Moralton, Clay Puppington!

Lyrics:
BoJack Horseman:
Wait a minute, this isn't the bar? It's an introduction!
Get it? 'Cus it's true. Guess I'll fire this puppet
I'd tell you to stuff it but you're clay, Puppington
Consider rehab to clean up your shit… Clay Puppington 
Huh, I'm on my punny shit, get a shot glass and belt it!
Use it as fuel to get your son's ass and belt it
Or maybe don't, 'cus your self "image" can't sell it
While I get rich off my own portraits for shelvin'

Clay Puppington:
Orel! Why's there a horse person on my lawn, shoo!
That's not possible, that's not something that God's do
I'm lost; truthfully, I'd need a cross before I cross you!
Uh…wait, I think it's a guy in a costume…
Huh, crude. That you drink up a whooole bottle
When animals don't have souls to go full throttle
On benders, just swallowing their own problems 
You run out of hay? Then say bye to your close trauma
Ya see Horseman, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed
With one appointment prison could've been avoided
But no, you boinked it. Remember the lost commandment!
"Thou shalt take accountability for all their damage"

BoJack Horseman:
What are YOU doing here? Oh shit, it's a rap battle
Thaaat's why your pants stood on after that babble
And I got baggage? Please, your pansy knees can't hold your baggy jeans
A different kinda praying the way Danielle Shaped your family.
Twice you'd get on your knees for a blonde turd
Now you and Shapey can bond over "our Father"
THAT'S Orel, I should be posting this
Your wife don't need coaching for you not to be her one and only
BIIITCH, you're a gross fruit, and Honey Dew is gross so;
Ask Blob, "honey, do you love me?" She don't though.
Go loathe in your study, associate punchin' with lovey-dovey
My dad was also an ass but we're related to them buddy!
Go suck a dick dumb-shit! *Bronx Cheer*
Take THAT dribble on the chin like your one kid.
He settled with Bloberta after she conned him
Didn't take a star to burn out your "lovin". (Haah.)

Clay Puppington:
Stinkin' dead end battle. I mean, why the long face?   
Cus you tried to ship yourself with a teenager one day?
But hey! With all that fornicating it's a habit!
Guess you can say horses are just… nature's rabbits.
Let's take the bandage off your pathetic past
No amount of alcohol is disinfecting that!
So I'll swig it, ahh, that's refreshing man
Diane ditched em! Can't cat-call to get her back
Ask Carolyn why'd she quit working on you
Didn't ask when Sarah Lynn quit twerking on you!
BoJacks heroine overdoses on his heroin!
Couldn't thread the needle; and now she's dead as sin!
You're a stupid piece of shit…choked like your chick
Blew your load. But, Herb wasn't minding it    
You pathetic bastard, look at ya. Set up to a joke
A horse walks into a bar and makes amends, nope, he croaks
Holly-Hawk couldn't watch her brother proudly
Trying the easy way out via smother, drowning
Being BoJack IS nature, your mom's hilarious 
Take the fucking shortcut. Secretariat a-bridged.

BoJack Horseman:
Sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak.
And I still got better flow than this tortured poor thing
Killed your own mother with a bottle of ketchup 
Then dad bottles his emotions in hopes you would fess up
But you didn't, so you burrow
Shot your kid and didn't even get a churro
So curdle in your mommy kinks, stuck in your person
I could egg you on but, you're not even worth it.

-CAST-
BoJack Horseman: Arkham
Clay Puppington: Grey Julius

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: JaCoN
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Suffocate.mp3
Beat Produced by: 2Deep, Patrick Carney, and Dee
Mixed by: Danii


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