The greatest book in the universe.

Music Used:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yRIt5yS36s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAYj89WLRag

Professor Maddox's Crash Course to Contemporary Lachrymology: Volume 1

Peach Saliva's Additional Rages

It's a classic sitcom, with a furry twist!
Friday nights at 9 on CUK!

music from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIjdIxgDilg
Real Furboy: https://www.youtube.com/user/DeceivedEel870

Every Body Loves Furboy

Rather than putting our differences aside, we thought...just maybe...we could incorporate them into the show, but gabe did not come equipped for the discussion.

TGROPWANDM

So someone asked me to do a 2 minute bit where dick double booked asterios and cernovich.
These are there stories.

Asterios Gets Redpilled

Just Suck My Penis!

Chubby Thighs

No need to pray, you're not gay, you're a cuck now.

Songs I didn't write but sang anyway.

You're a Cuck Now

Jungle with bass

A sample of my first attempt at creating a real actual song. I'll be adding vocals to this later so please enjoy it before that happens.

Roswell

White Meat (Jamie Lynn Hughes Meal Plans)

This is the first original song I've done. All music, vocals, effects, and other shitty unprofessionally done stuff in this song was actually done by me. I'm not proud.

Edit: This was ok considering what i had to work with at the time...but I really need to re-do this one.

Lyrics:

I feel
So empty/disconnected.
And I feel
So lonely and rejected

Ooooh but I feel (so warm) so warm,
When I see your pretty picture

It's real. 
That is exactly how I feel.

What's real? 
Peeling away illusion.
It's revealed
Crippled Cracked delusion

Ooooh but I feel, (All I feel)
is white fluff and purple hair,

I can feel (So its real)
And it is exactly like you're there


Wrap me in your love, brush against my face
Never close enough, can you feel me?

I'd give anything for just one day,
Hold you up so high, never set you free

Set you free...

I feel,
So lonely and rejected
Walls of steel (Walls of Steel)
And I feel unprotected

Oooh what I feel (This is what I feel)
Is different, not infected
My love's real (Yes, it's real)
And that is exactly how I feel.

And that is exactly how I feel.

Feel (demo)

Strike

Mundane Daddy ft DamePesos

The Ballad of Liquid Snake

Starring Thomas McCoy!
Get your own!: https://www.fiverr.com/hazencruz/write-and-perform-your-jingle

Spectral Analysis Theme

Subs are going down down
Going down in flames
Ever since we all saw that you flagged
Dame Pesos and Kimball, Headcase

Hurts like Kryptonite
Lied right to our face
But now everybody know just what you're doin
in your bad headspace

That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
Even your last name makes you sound fat
Even Adam Baldwin says that's
That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
The way you talk about you're suicide it
Makes me wanna punch you in your hyman
I wanna get my fist right in there deep
Inside your Fortress of Faggitude
Don't mean to be rude
But your just so mundane
Mundane Matt

Polar bears on hand
Say it for me please
I know what you need you soy filled bitch and
It's not some gay-ass therapy

That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
Pretty soon you're gunna lick that sack
You apologized, I guess that's that!
That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
The way you talk about you're suicide it
Makes me wanna punch you in your hyman
I feel bad for your wife and daughter
coming home to you each day
At least your not Chris Ray Gun
In Laci Green's pooper!
Mundane Matt

That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
Even your last name makes you sound fat
Even Adam Baldwin says that's
That's really mundane, Mundane Matt!
The way you talk about you're suicide it
Makes me wanna punch you in your hyman
I wanna get my fist right in there deep
Inside your Fortress of Faggitude
Don't mean to be rude
But your just so mundane
Mundane Matt

That's Really Mundane, Mundane Matt!

Hotlanta, Hotlanta
Touch screen bathrooms (Touch screen bathrooms)
Just a shotgun cop
He's sittin right outside (he's right outside)

I said Hotlanta, Hotlanta
Midget showerheads (low showerheads)
Air is like hot soup
And the pollen is in bloom

Ain't no place to raise your family
Anime conventions, sex trafficking
A ring of hell they call the ITP
The roads are killin' you

Say Hotlanta, oh Hotlanta
Your .gov pages are always down (always down)
But puppet shit museums
Always burn my eyes (they burn my eyes)

Golden state building to me
Feels like armed robbery
I thought taxes were shit, here and in DC
Roads the ride like a smooshed up peach

Woah, Hotlanta, Hotlanta
Where the cabbage patch grows fat babies
Give me chic-fil-a
And conferderacy (confederacy)

Where the KKK
Walk down MLK street

Hotlanta

Instrumental Version by:
Sing King Karaoke
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABOYo7ioQJo

Lyrics:

Shrek Intro

Toilet

Somebody once told me, that Dick was gunna troll me
I went and jerked off in my cuck shed
I was sendin' private chats, cuz I can't handle the bantz
now my show has no feed, when will this end?
WELL
(adapted from Gulak Son of Dulak on Twitter)

The tears start comin and they don't stop comin
Heard 113 now my dookie is runnin
Didn't make sense how my feed's hijacked
I stole that shit first, man this shit is wack
(adapted from Nick Rekeita, Whiskey Lawyer)

I'm not a rage! I'm not a phase!
I'm just the guy from Greatest Webpage
I'll write your boss, Mr Kokkinos
I'll hehe and I'll get you fired, bro!
(adapted from Thomas McCoy)


Hey now, you're a block star, dodgin mean tweets, all day!
Hey now, you're a lol farm, vote up copyrights for mon-kays!
(adapted from "Mack Joriarty" aka @joriaty, twitter user)

And all your materials old!
Nothin inherently wrong with bein' a cuckold.
(adapted from The Gentelmen Sausage)


Make a cool face, when she takes his boner.
Everybody's winnin' big, you just keep gettin' older.
Madcast media dot com you whisper
As he busts a nut and it finally hits ya

The ice you skate? Melted long ago
Who's gunna save you now, busted UCB hoes?
Vote up chump syndrome, and outrage porn
Biggest debate show is ultimate bore


Hey now, you're a block star, dodgin mean tweets, all day!
Hey now, you're a lol farm, vote up copyrights for mon-kays!
(adapted from "Mack Joriarty" aka @joriaty, twitter user)

And all your materials old!
Nothin inherently wrong with bein' a cuckold.
(adapted from The Gentelmen Sausage)

Hey now, you're a block star, dodgin mean tweets, all day!
Hey now, you're a lol farm, vote up copyrights for mon-kays!
(adapted from "Mack Joriarty" aka @joriaty, twitter user)

And all your materials old!
Nothin inherently wrong with bein' a cuckold.


Somebody once asked if my last math test got passed
I blocked them on facebook and even myspace
But I thought, "why are they pickin me?"
"What's with this fuckin 3rd degree?"
I'm moved on from this drama thaaaaaaang

Well, the tears start rollin and they don't stop rollin,
The itunes feed yeah I can't control it!
Hey itunes twitter guy can pm me?
We need to talk about my DMCA claim!

I'm not a rage! I'm not a phase!
I'm just the guy from Greatest Webpage
I'll write your boss, Mr Kokkinos
I'll hehe and I'll get you fired, bro!
(adapted from Thomas McCoy)


Hey now, you're a block star, dodgin mean tweets, all day!
Hey now, you're a lol farm, vote up copyrights for mon-kays!
(adapted from "Mack Joriarty" aka @joriaty, twitter user)

And all your materials old!
Nothin inherently wrong with bein' a cuckold.

Block Star

My de-tails are released!
Now I'm
Call-in the police!
On you

Doot Doot Doot
911, Please state your emergency

Hi! This is George! I'm bein' put on blast!
I'm a writer in LA trapped in a disaster!
They're sharing all my info and I'm bein' harassed!
This shit is leakin faster and faster and faster and faster

I'm terrified just look at my white knuckles
They're callin me a faggot but I'm just a cuckold!
Whoops, the phone slipped, lotta sweat on my hand
Even Rucka said "what the fuck happened to you man?"

*Sir is there an emergency?* Yes ma'am, absolutely!
People on my profile are commenting rudely
Even though shut'em down so astutely
I gotta file for chapter 7 come next tuesday

-Chorus-

I can't believe anyone would do this to me!
After all the comedy and hard work I've done for free!
Hey Soft J! "Yeah, boss!" Get this guy's IP!
Who here can impersonate LAPD?

Gotta a lot calls to make to some employees!
Ya'll know you bout to lose ya damn jobs hehe!
Hey Joe Dirt, boy, get to hittin' them keys!
"I'll ID every leaf on their family tree!"

*Sir are you aware this for emergencies? you-*
SHUT UP, BITCH! OR I'LL FUCKIN SUE YOU, TOO!
*Sir-* DON'T INTERRUPT ME BITCH, YO I AIN'T THROUGH
*Sir im sending an officer over to check on you."

THAT'S IT BITCH
EMAILIN' EVERYBODY THAT WORK WIT' YO ASS
WHY EVERYBODY TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!?
DICK ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! WAUTERBOI YOU TOO, MOTHERFUCKER!

Original Idea:
Sir No Pants

I'm Calling The Police

just some chill bgm i made for youtube videos

Slow Goal

For Clay but not Keri.

Lyrics:

Drunken FROLICS
alcoHOLICS
Gin and TONICs
With Clay Early and Keri Grove!
Go on and have a-one more!

drunken FROLICS
alcoHOLICS
Gin and TONICs
With Clay Early and Keri Grove!
have a-10 more one mores!!

Anata no biru oishi
Motto nomimashou
soudesu, wakko
Watisha wa Yopparai

Tomodachi ni narou
Koko ni kono bo no
Beddo no ue de
Watashi no apAto, onegai

Tsu! Watashi
no telephone ring ring
Textu message
asa san-ji ni, oh my!

Oh my God
56709

Oh my god
Get me through this night!

Enlgish:

Anata no biru oishi
(Your beer is delicious)
Motto nomimashou
(let's keep drinking)
soudesu, wakko
(that's right, wakko)
Watisha wa Yopparai
(I'm a total drunkard)

Tomodachi ni narou
(Let's be friends)
Koko ni kono bo no
(Here in this bar and)
Beddo no ue de
(On the bed)
Watashi no apAto, onegai
(My apartment, c'mon! Please!)

Tsu! Watashi
(Oh! My)
no telephone ring ring
(phone, ring ring!)
Textu message
(Text message)
asa san-ji ni, oh my!
(at three the in morning, oh my!)

Drunken Frolics, Alcoholics

Lyrics:

Well, All Aboard!
Say your goodbyes
It's finally time
To wait here in line

Lookin outside
through a 9 by 5
If you wanna feel alive
You're gunna wait till you're dyin

It's a prison of paper 
Watch of your life fly by
Got bills to pay
So you don't mind

When your almost totally
Cold and white
Would you take a look back
Would you tell me what you find?

It's a stark triangle
I'ts a stark triangle

The best years are
the shortest side
I'll spend mine all
in a Single-Wide

When the goin' gets tough
I'll run and hide
I'll cover my eyes
And scream and cry

I'll get a little older
Get into a car and drive 
Well its closer than you're seein
all the flames rise high

Lookin outside
through a 9 by 5
If you wanna feel alive
Spend your 10.29

It's stark triangle
It's stark triangle

Pythagorean Path
Pythagorean


I couldn't wait to share this one after I finished it.
Feel free to make fun of me at twitter.com/hazencruz

Pythagorean Path

Ghost With No Home

Ghost With No Home 2

Lyrics:

Ho ho, Honey, 
you're really a delusional ho
You know
Here's a lump of some coal
Ho ho, Honey,
Who's comin down your chimney tonight?

Ho ho, Honey,
here's a thing for weight watchers too,
for you.
Hit the treadmill you pig,
Ho ho, Honey,
Who's comin down your chimney tonight?

Think of all the opportunites you missed,
Think of how your face would feel against my fist,
Put your hand on my sac now, if you could,
Here's a k-mart bra for your walmart tits,

Ho ho, Honey,
My christmas wish is for you to be,
gone thot,
You look like Randy Stair,
Ho ho, Honey,
Who's comin down your chimney tonight?

Ho ho, Honey,
Its a miracle you received,
A thing,
Been a bitchtit all year,
Ho ho, Honey,
Who's comin down your chimney tonight?

Got a list of the dicks you've seen,
Every last one's got a new STD,
Open those hairy legs for me,
So I can park my old H3,

Ho ho, Honey,
forgot to mention one little thang,
My sleigh.
It could use a good wash,
Ho ho, Honey,
Leave me out a sandwich tonight!

Ho Ho, Honey

Now That's what I call Dick Show Music

A chill track for the album that's inspired by old school animal crossing music. AC was my fucking jam back in like...2004.

Interlude

Maydolf's favorite song about the lolsuit.

Who Should I Sue Now?

I do voice acting, singing, and voice clips. Hmu fam.
https://www.fiverr.com/hazencruz

Hazencruz

Popular tracks