Saving Santa OST by Suho

Being in an unsafe environment.

I wrote this song with mixed feelings: one part of me wanted to express how I felt, the other part of me thought this was a really bad idea. Being in an abusive situation (both physical and emotional) can be very confusing. You start to think that it's your fault, that you deserved it, that it's normal, especially if that is what you're being told. You start to behave exactly as is expected of you, paying attention to all the rules, hoping you don't provoke anything. In the meantime, you're losing yourself bit by bit.
It's also confusing since it can go on for years without anyone else noticing it. If no one questions the other person(s), if no one tells you or them that what they're doing is wrong, it's hard to see the truth.
But I'm seeing the truth now and I think it's time to speak up, even though I'm terrified.

Lyrics

[Intro]

I’m not sure if this is a good idea
Some things are better left unsaid
Considering your responses
To other, less serious, situations

But my anxiety is suffocating me
And I need to breathe
Now I know how I got to this point…
It’s just somewhere I never wanna be again

I need to do things differently
Or I’ll never be able to be myself
I’ll never be able to live
So, here goes nothing…

[Song]

I’m so terrified
For just saying what’s on my mind
I feel your words, they cut right through me
Feeling far worse than I should be

I’m so terrified
I need to run, I need to hide
From all your rage, it’s getting to me
You’re destructive, why can’t you see?

Maybe it’s time you see (x3)
Maybe it’s time they see

Maybe it’s time you see (x4)
Maybe it’s time they see

Acting loving, acting caring
Acting like you are supportive
So committed, so empathic
Acting when we’re not alone
(x3)

Acting loving, acting caring
Acting like you are supportive
So committed, so empathic
Acting till we’re all alone

Till we’re all alone (x9)

And here come the responses
(Take cover, quick, take cover, watch out)
Here come the responses
(Take cover, quick, take cover, watch out)
And here come the responses
(Take cover, quick, take cover, watch out)
(x2)

Disproportional
Inappropriate
Not even functional
You’re delusional
(x2)

If I don’t shut up, you will make me shut up
Yeah, you will make it stop
If I dare to speak up, you will make it stop

If I don’t shut up, you will make me shut up
Yeah, you will make it stop
If I dare to speak up, you will

Tell everyone I’ve lost my mind
(You’re right, you’re always right, you’re right)
(You’re right, you’re always right, you’re right)
(x2)
 
Take cover, quick, take cover, watch out
Dodge all the bullets
(x12)

I’m so terrified
For just saying what’s on my mind
So, I distance myself from you
Wish I didn’t, but I have to
I really have to
I really have to

Baekhyun - Everyday Every Moment

hazyoongii

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