Eucharist

Written/Recorded/mixed at home by John Peña 
Some Keys and Guitar by Chris Masullo
Mastered by Paul Gold

lyrics


Kin

words that never fail
myths that they create
I asked about an instance  
what's most my strength could take?

and it felt like we were somewhere
till you fell silent

fingers in your hair
shaped until it breaks
running back through months now
relating our mistakes

and it felt like we were somewhere
till you fell silent


Patience 

the patience that i needed 
wasn't something i believed in, yet
ask me from a distance
is it something worth reliving, yet

after all it's said and done
not sure if i wanna know now
saw you acting human 
and I’m not sure if i wanna be down

the foresight that I needed
wasn't something I could see and, yet
to see from me from a distance
is there something worth believing, yet

my legacy is said and done
not sure if i wanna know now
saw you acting human 
and I’m not sure if i wanna be down

took outside, heard you resonate 
knew I couldn't be the only one


Manna

basic wants
simple floor to shed my blame on
claim my body
clear my name and what it's known for

I was down, down, down
in a hole
reaching down, down, down
till I'm whole

it's worth the change
we're the same in we've got nothing
manna, manna, manna

hunger pangs
giving up that taste for someone
that all this time 
forgave my ways

shown at night
hadn't knelt in such a long time
touch my body
pull me up and push me inside 

I was down, down, down
in a hole
i was down, down, down
in a hole

it's worth the change
we're the same in we've got nothing
manna, manna, manna

hunger pangs
giving up that taste for someone

that all this time 
forgave my ways


Head

soon nobody else will find
the sight of me and all my baggage bearable  
wish I'd played the game with tact
but honestly, I fucked that world
beyond return

if I could fill your mouth again
if i could pull your body up into my world
I'm not assuming I'm just saying
the fallout wasn't worth the life 
I spilled that night

If I had only recognized
the subtle change of tone and sides maybe I'd
seen that I can't act like that
but what I'd give to feel alive one more time

if I could fill your mouth again
if i could pull your body up into my world
I'm not assuming I'm just saying
the fallout wasn't worth the life 
I spilled that night

turned out 
I lost sight
meet one last time
before leaving

turned around Russell
sort this lust out 
before leaving

Legacy

some forgive to forget
some forget to forgive
both learning to resist 

control 
desire

weak appeal for new life
making nice to survive
burning out from within 

decide
if I want 
spite to be my legacy 
 
refine
if I want
define my lines 
define my being   

when you speak about anger
will you think about mine?
when I dream about a legacy after
the world has said "no" to my face

while belief was healing
trust pushed to make time
both were leaning hard on

control
desire

same blood, same empire
backs turned to inspire 
feign lust to provide

decide
if I want 
spite to be my legacy 
 
refine
if I want
define my lines 
define my being    

when you speak about failure
will you think about mine?
when a dream about a legacy 
ends with laughter in my face


Covet

with me in the vague 
preference leads the way
towards each other

pushing to relate
two mistakes 
led us to discover we're

all alone
can't force what just isn't happening
trust me thats just how it is

left alone 
now I'm sure life isn't happening
sorry thats just how i feel

became one and the same
but only had the air
of a brother

spilt my seed in vain
no amount of life brought 
us together

we're alone now, were alone then
couldn't watch as it sank in
your eyes lowered, face prone

what hurts now, it hurt then
I'd tell you all that you want
but we're blessed enough that we just came 

older now, nothings changed
I’ll covet what I covet
fill my hands with the only answer
I’ll covet what I covet


Eucharist

you'll find
that every new thought
has a ceiling

we all find out
that no one gets assigned
their believers 

do you accept 
my body and blood
this evening?

could you accept 
that I could never side 
with you leaving?

kneeling at your feet
your thighs, a prayer

portrait of what hurts
set in oil forever

some known names
default shapes
still never lost sight
of our meeting

i'd never seen innocence
leveled so hard
by deceit and 
 
communion 
your age on fire
drink me all night
fill your body

communion
I'm so far gone now
lay me out on a 
dirt alter


Relevance

relevant space
could make my life in a corner 
believed all I needed to weather life  
was four walls to hold it together

slept in the van
and I knew it was over
then I lived in that van 
like it was perfectly normal

to laugh 
at myself
the joke was
unintentional, no solace nigh 

relevant space
backed myself into a corner
mistook all this time we were sharing life
as something we built together

felt the fear
believed I was alone then
thought I'd escaped all the pain of another
relevant wants of a real desire

i was free to find another world
and i was free to forge another love

anxious 
blamed each other
thought I'd escaped all the pain of a lover
trappings of a whole new trial

i was free to find another world
and i was free to forge another love


Beyond

felt the truth fall
the weight of which
belonged on my shoulders

passed between hands
fresh from getting burned on my level

I was naive enough to think that at this point
I was immune to the same type of behavior 
your getting him off, I'm dying
my hurt at this time, beyond

I was on the fault line 
pall of death came easy 
at your name and
choke off my desire 
to be anyone but 
the one inside you


Effort

the effort we needed
wasn't something I could go for
slight of hand that night
hurt because it's you and

resentment receding 
cause we know the cause awful
force another night
face the world in you and


Relentless 

descend at night
weak fathers son unbridled 
blind to descent 
shed one then use another

and it takes a long time
to channel hurt right

insensitive high
mostly unwanted
take the lust out of love
quell my youths hunger

and it takes a long time
to recognize life

don't ask me how my life went
from a decent to relentless in a night
believing within reason
that I could follow leisure to the end

forgot i was alive
can't put that aside now












Head

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Covet

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