2021-05-24_Part1

2021-05-24_Part2

I dont feel so
good in my head
but it's no one
else's problem
i feel stupid
and so useless
new distractions
nothing's working

way too good at
bottling up
i felt numb so
i got more drunk
probably should have
reached out to you
but we don't talk
like we used to

new distractions
old perspectives
bring the liquor
nothing's working

In My Head

I fell deep into the bitter sea
Felt so cold, yeah my body went weak
Red alert you say you wanna see me
Got so high till I couldn't think straight
Heart palpitations sweat perspiring
Head gone numb and I couldn't breathe
Party fell dead now you wanna speak
Saw your face now I wanna leave, sorry 

It's hard enough for us to be friends
Never got it right, I don't wanna pretend
Wasted years on us, I don't wanna be
Living in a dream, out of reach, makes me wanna scream 

Oh no, don't make it look easy 
Too close, I can feel you breathing
Hate this, you make me feel useless
I'm not gonna be the one that breaks first

Curse this scene, get me out of here
Too cliche for the hell of it, maybe
The writers just wanna, embarrass me, probably
Script might change, but I wanna quit, way too
… Naive, for my own good, so what now? 
Surreptitious and ineloquent
No cares left, think I'm ready to throw up
… Gotta dig a way outta this hole I dug

It's hard enough for us to be friends
Never got it right, I don't wanna pretend
Wasted years on us, I don't wanna be
Living in a dream, out of reach, makes me wanna scream

Oh no, don't make it look easy
Too close, I can feel you breathing
Fuck that, don't tell me you love me
I don't need false hope to believe in

I don't wanna be the one that breaks first

Bitter

Sickbeat3

transparent

bossbattle1

porky's theme

spookyforest

eightoverfour

funkybattle

dessertbattle

ocean

grandpiano68

piano64new

34epic

piano74

piano9444

the big boss is a cool guy

A song about two people who are along together and contemplating their place in the universe. It's so easy to feel small yet these small moments you share with another person are so significant to you and I think that makes them very important, especially, to quote La Dispute, when you look at it as 'tiny dots on an endless timeline'. 
Lyrics:
We're smoking joints in the comfort of your room
I asked you to make some space on your bed, and you moved
I can feel the ends of the Earth pulling further and further away
And the expansion of the universe makes me feel smaller everyday

Why can't I
Just wait in line?
Accept my place,
I'm where I'm meant to be.
The marks on my hands
Remind me of plans
They all fell through

Eventually.

So it goes
So it goes like this
So it goes
So it goes like

Universe

This song is confusing and sad even to me. I don't really get it but it felt really me at the time and really close. It's about the contemplative time when it's like 2am and you're lonely as fuck and thinking about everything that's ever happened to you in your life. It's extremely self-deprecating, maybe. The end is this fixation of success and failure and stuff and feeling like you haven't changed or improved or gotten anywhere in your life that you've wanted to get to.

Lyrics:
Called you at midnight
Didn't think you'd still be awake
I'm like that sometimes
And I'm destined for failure
One day I'll find you
And I will apologise
For fucking up badly
For being an asshole

Sometimes I think I pass you on the street
But most nights I realise, I'm just high and lonely.
(fuck)

You're busy working
And I'm busy being up late
I need better timing
And a far better place
Your hands were shaking
The first night we smoked it
I'll never forget
The fear yet the love in your eyes

And sometimes I think I'm a better person
But I'm even less than I was in high school

I Thought I Saw You Once

I find it extremely hard to talk to people when I can't hide behind a guitar or lyrics or music. I find it so hard even when I'm in a safe space with only the most beautiful and loveliest of human beings, the best of friends I've made. People I love and trust so much. This song is about the social anxiety I have and the feeling of never fitting in at parties, and the paranoia that everyone else is getting along and too busy to talk to you or something like that. It's the fear that even in the safest of spaces, with the closest of friends, with the loveliest of human beings, that I don't belong or fit in or something.
Lyrics:
God I try so hard
Surrounded by people I know and love
Not always that simple to sit and talk
I love you but hey, just let it drop
And yeah I do feel safe and welcome here
But I can't escape the space in my head
Where no one's around. and I'm feeling down
And everybody's got...

Something else to do
It's not them and it's not you

Finding words to say
I'm sorry I'm bad at explaining
The shit in my brain, the blood in my veins
Are still complicating every emotion
You say you don't know
But I can tell when something's up
I don't pry, at least not this time
When you find the courage to finally sigh...

I don't know what to do
It's not them and it's not you
It's just that everybody's got something else to do
It's not them and it's not you

(It's Not Halloween Anymore)

Inept space cadet

pocket wallflower

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