Following the Rules: Little girls outperform boys in school because they do their homework, listen to their teachers, and follow the rules. But that can backfire when it comes to creative leadership. Writer and coach Maria Molfino explains why and how following rules could be blocking you in unexpected ways.

Show notes:
- Download the free Creative Confidence Playbook: mariamolfino.com/free-playbook
- Lucia Lilikoi music: lucia.bandcamp.com

Heroine - Following the Rules (Block #1)

If you believed you could never be happy, would you go on living? That’s the question that echoed in Dr. Vivienne Ming’s mind when she contemplated killing herself, before she became a woman, mom, neuroscientist, technologist, and LGBT advocate. Dr. Ming shares more about the wisdom that saved her life, and how it led her to focus on the one superpower that predicts success over and over again. 

Show Notes
__________________________________________________________
- Vivienne’s upbringing, not living up to expectations, and realizing she was “different.”  [1:30]
- The lowest point — Suicide, and why she decided not to do it.   [4:39]
- On her larger-than-life father and his example of “living a life of substance.”   [7:54]
- How intrinsic motivation fueled her shift away from the brink of suicide.   [12:02]
- From flunking out of college to getting perfect scores in everything the second time around.   [14:59]
- On her year at the Machine Perception Lab and the start of her professional success.   [19:08]
- Learning to counter her destructive-perfectionism through perseverance. [21:31]
- On feeling free to follow what she believes to be right.   [25:09]
- Women’s tendency to worry about how they are being perceived rather than whether they are being true to themselves.   [26:51]
- On meeting her wife in graduate school and opening up about wanting to be a woman.   [31:13]
- The immediate effects of Vivienne’s gender transition – losing her position at Stanford, being treated differently by close friends and strangers alike, and observing implicit gender biases.   [35:38]
- Vivienne’s work at Socos: Studying the predictors of success and optimizing life outcomes.   [42:43]
- Defining a meta-learner and the main categories that predict success.   [47:33]
- How to strengthen our meta-learning abilities.   [52:49]
- Vivienne’s perspective on how society influences gender roles and the enduring disparities between men and women.   [54:55]

References:
Dr. Ming’s organization Socos: www.socoslearning.com

Music:
Lucia Lilikoi at lucia.bandcamp.com

Find Heroine on:
Heroine.fm
Twitter.com/heroinefm
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Heroine - Meaning over Happiness {Dr. Vivienne Ming}

Host Maria Molfino shares how a fixed mindset – believing things about yourself cannot change – is blocking your creative confidence.

- Creative confidence playbook: mariamolfino.com/free-playbook

Heroine - Fixed Midset (Block #3)

How did Marian Goodell go from studying photography and creative writing to becoming the CEO of Burning Man, one of the biggest sociocultural experiments of our time? The link is fascinating, especially for those who are both creative and analytical and who aren’t following a straight and predictable path. Find out how Marian deals with criticism (i.e., she is too impatient and her tone is too "demanding") and how she filters feedback. 

Show Notes:
-Marian as a little girl: Learning self-acceptance, how to embrace differences, and enjoying the perks of being a fiery redhead. [2:34]
-The role of Marian’s family in shaping her to become a strong, confident woman. [8:47]
-On attending an all-girls college, running for student body, and the first time she decided to be a leader. [13:16]
-“My role as a CEO is very much that of a storyteller”: How Marian’s creative, analytical side made her the right woman for the job. [16:37]
-On being a “cat herder” and what that means to her as a leader, and other leadership qualities. [21:47]
-Why Marian cares about providing opportunities, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and sharing differing perspectives. [27:04]
-Stories of her father and his participation in Burning Man 2008 (a year before he passed away). [30:32]
-Marian and Maria discuss failure and the fear of rejection, the importance of creative confidence, and the challenges (and benefits) of collaboration. [35:14]
-On feminism and fathers, and finding the balance between feminine and masculine leadership traits. [40:30]
-Looking beyond gender: Taking a hard look at qualities like patience, aggression, compassion. [47:26]
-How Marian filters and utilizes criticism/feedback. [52:38]
-Have you ever felt like an imposter? The inner critic vs empowering voice. [57:44]
-Burning Man: Marian’s vision for the project’s future, her favorite principles (Leave No Trace and Radical Self-Expression), and being poised in the world as a catalyst for social change. [1:01:53]

References: 
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Burning Man at burningman.org

Music: 
Lucia Lilikoi at lucia.bandcamp.com

Find Heroine on: 
Heroine.fm
Twitter.com/heroinefm
Instagram.com/heroine.fm
Facebook.com/heroine.fm