Cast: Me
Written by Me
Beat by Dave James
Mixed and Mastered by GlitchDude

Bored Ape:
Yo what’s up duck, I hope you don’t get overloaded
I cryptomine for lines, make your CPU start smokin’

Grabbin golden bunches funded by my loads of tokens 
I’ll start this from the top, make it like my fruit and open 

Everywhere you’re seein me, the Eminem PFP
I’m blastin’ up this track like it’s NF and some TNT

Gettin’ bitches rich off my face and my grinnin’ teeth
You’re just screamin, get ears bleedin, with one word, fore leavin me

The funkiest, hunkiest, duck, print money you could dive in
Forget brass monkey, bruh this monkey made of diamonds

With dough I’m sittin pretty, you throw bread at a park bench
You’re hurt and won’t work, not worth trading on the market 


Aflac:
Here’s a few quotes, wanna ensure we’re not equals?
I’m a duck of the people, you just snug up with BEEPLE

So shut the flock up, you and your whole herd of sheeple
You’re gonna crash this beat and market- like a vehicle!

Help banks stay in shape, from Japan to my lake
But this ugly ass ape made a big funging mistake

Cryptos a craze, I’ll end it on the spot
Cause you’re ridin a wave, I’m throwin you off your yacht 

You may drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop
I’ll chain block upon block upon block upon block

I’ve got a foul talk, when I spout my fowl squak
So take a walk to my pond and AF-LICK my cock.


Bored Ape:
Bro, literally, they eat you up overseas
Dawg waddle home, I’ve got the real web feats

Check my chimp strength, gainst geese I’m a beast
It’s ironic that Godfried got fired for his tweets

Let’s not compare Flo, you don’t measure to your peers
You’ve been grating my ears for the last 20 years 

I’m bored, without laughter, I don’t fuck around with quackers
But I do fucks with Affleck- and by that I mean the actor


Aflac:
Lemme capture the moment, a cage you could sit in
Now you’re worthless as dirt, and my write spit victim

Flick of my feathered wrist, here’s my business card too
I’ve seen more fundable monkeys around Central Park Zoo

You’re a fugly cartoon, I’m the most skrukly puppet, 
Japan loves me, bud, they love the receipt you come with

My insurance helps with murders, and all sorts of crimes
But because you were the victim, it isn’t worth a dime

Bored Ape Vs The Aflac Duck - ASSRB

So....Happy Twos-day! I was originally not going to do a battle but this battle has been finished for over 6 months! I was feeling awful to both of the amazing voice actors for putting amazing work and it taking so long to come out. The thumbnail was the hardest part ironically, due to....well look that that Predator hand! Either way, I hope you enjoy. Why don't you have a seat, and enjoy the battle? DO IT NOW!


Chris Hansen Voiced By Swizkii
The Predator Voiced By MetaMachine

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD_BOnX_Iak

Predator:

Ripping through tracks like a spinal cord
Make a bloody corpse your final form
Turn your eye sore face removable
So get a Dateline-d up for your funeral!
No better competitor with bloodshed! I’m The Predator!
You only look good when saved by the editor!
You better get running. I’m a hunter by trade!
It’s hard to report on pedos from beyond the grave!
But even with my tech, I still find it shocking
How you learned to use old clout to line your pockets
Packing a shoulder cannon and I’m handling business!
Kiss this battle goodbye. Like your job and your mistress!
While you mutter in a live stream, feeling like a star
I steal the show like a pirate: Rated R!
Try to run with my pack, but you aren’t worthy.
Destroy your image worse than a dead attorney!

Chris:

Been in TV for years and I’m no sucker.
But I’ve never seen such an ugly Mother Fucker!
Chris’s got more drip than your bags of meat
So do us both a favor and Have a seat.
Your pop culture boast really does seem legit
With one good flick...and that’s it.
The NBC MC with the Emmys
You might be rated R but those bars were PG
I’m a hotshot, covering slaughter and debauchery 
Your box office was shot! You’re a Predator of Profiting!
My special's had an effect. You’re just special effects!
Who’s the real prehistoric monster? Hanson rex (Wrecks)
A 20 year gap, one sequel in the backlogs
And that bombed once a Xenomorph was in the chat logs!
The Cranky Kermit couldn’t tongue click out a rhyme
 You wanna save yourself the trouble? You can leave anytime.

Predator:

I eat bullets like nothing! Think Hansen hits harder?
You’re more of a let down than your Kickstarter!
The Yautja has honor. Your show's poor taste!
Learn to avoid me. Pretend I'm your court date!
I’d rip out your skull but it would be a waste.
There’s no space for your ego in my trophy case!
Scraping by with Fivrr. The fans are long gone, man!
You should look into the mirror if you wanna Catch a Con Man!
I’m murderous! There’s not a chopper that can save you!
So stupid, you let a guy like Vincent play you!
What are you waiting for? Do it now! Just flee
You’d have a better chance with GG as the MC.

Chris:

Here’s a guy, who acts real smart.
But is jumped by Arnie making Mud Splatter Art
With the high tech crap, it’s no wonder you’re a hack
Let your franchise down even worse than Shane Black
The fact is you’re a product of the 80s.
When 10 minutes of shooting isn’t seen as lazy!
It’s crazy! You carry plasma guns and Smart Disks.
But the most sacred weapon to the Yautja is a sharp stick?
You act tough, but pussy out when you confront death
Ask Onision. I take the battles to your front step!
As the investigation closes, got nothing to prove.
So blow yourself up, like every time you lose

Chris Hansen Vs. The Predator - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Michael Stark as The Lean Monster
Light as Kool Aid Man
Written by Pixel Chris
Puppetry by Pixel Chris
Thumbnail by Pixel Chris 
Mixed by Jort
Edited by Pixel Chris
Beat by 2Deep

THE LEAN MONSTER:
*sip* WOOOOOOO! I LOVE LEAN!!! 💜💜💜💜💜
And as I hop on a beat, I’m sipping something less sweet
But first I gotta make it complete, because it’s not concrete 
Gotta fucking mix the damn thing before I bring your defeat
Like the villain I’m based on, I’m straight taking over
And you’re taking blows or deep cuts till I’m sober
I drop shots lots, you’re more like “dot dot dot”
Sure you got products, but you’re not bought up

KOOL AID MAN:
OH YEAH, time for me to rip you apart
You should be in the military with all those Purple Hearts
That verse was weak, those bars don’t hit
While I’m eating you alive like a Carn-ivore-age
And now what’s worse is, I get the styrofoam cup
It’s still stronger than the foundation keeping you up
I live the jug life, not drinking your purple gas
Why don’t you lean over and battle byte my shiny, see-through glass

LEAN MONSTER:
That was aids, but not Kool: STDesert
I can sure as hell take on a kids section verse
I’ll leave you a short-tempered glass in a throw down
You don’t kill the mic, that would be a flashback to Jonestown

KOOL AID MAN:
Just look at my strength bud, this battles in my favor
You only got Purple, for me that’s just another flavor
I’m an icon, you’re keeping relevance barely
You’re looking like: Wanna Sprite, Syrup, and Ranch-berry?

LEAN MONSTER:
I love lean, but with your powder, cocaine’s a bit far
You’re only held by dumbasses like “Patrick that’s a jar”

KOOL AID MAN:
If we’re talking cartoons, you should’ve said sooner, bro
This is like Family Guy, but you’re sentenced to death in the courtroom (Oh)
I’m not even done now, don’t wanna hear you run mouths
I’m saving Mr. Peanut but putting you in the ground
Better drink than this bore hauls, while what I do in the court, ball
Don’t need to break the 4th wall, just to break the 4th wall!

LEAN MONSTER:
Speaking of balling, bitch you look like a toy hoop 
Your tropical flavors are dry, change your name to Fruit Loops
Lean’s more lenient than the drinks of this dipshit
Fuck your raps, rather hear the debates of the cup or liquid
So just let that sink in, like where you get your water from
Advertise being easy to make, then you fucking bottle em?
I’m pretty pissed off with all your bland shit
Make like the container you don’t use, and fucking can it!

KOOL AID:
Your chances of winning are zero, just do the math, bud
Your purple ass is less lean, more William Afton
Face it bro, you were just another passing fad
You got me like OH NO, but I just broke through you, OH YEAH

Lean Monster vs Kool Aid Man - Hilarious Hip Hop Hassles of Here & Now

Originally uploaded: September 18, 2020

Serena as Milton Hershey
King Mewtwo as Willy Wonka
Written by RNG, Serena and Timey
Produced by Kustom
Mixed and Mastered by Serena

Willy Wonka:
Opening this battle like my factory, cause it’s not hard to see
With my golden bars, the only thing you’re winning is a ticket to defeat
You never had a fling with your first wife, the tube never got to suckin
While I had a successor with a Mr Charlie Bucket!
The main character in my story acted as an inspiration
Your chances of winning is in a world of imagination
I'll be gob-stopping before you get to my factory gates
Then I'll be gob-dropping you just like you did the 4th grade!

Milton Hershey:
Abandoned by your daddy, seems good lines left you too
It seems that Johnny Depth isn't something that you thought through
This man is nothing but insanity, with no sense of morality
That's why he's got Wonka-Vite-ality for the children in his factory
You’re dropping in the box office, our sales are still going strong
I’m throwing disses as you crumble, like an Oompa-Loompa song
Willy’s got a wonky verse; my bars are Wilder than this Gene
I’m stealing Double W’s W like his chocolate recipes

Willy Wonka:
I’ll oppose this adipose even larger then Augustus Gloop
I’ll call you Violet, since you bit off a little more than you could chew
Soaring in my Wonka-vator, not even my fizzy drinks are as fly
I got reruns on Teevee so I'm used to dropping the Mike
Your verses were so bad, like the river no one knew where it was going
So there's an earthly way of knowing of which of us is good at flowing
I've shown you around Hershey now who's the best chocolate maker
Now if you will, get out, YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY SIR

Milton Hershey:
God damn, what a tragedy, your verse and your childhood
No wonder the movie where we learned about you wasn't good
Ever wonder why this man had to fill his factory with kids
He gobbled 'em up, I'll call you a vermicious knid!
Never employed humans, “little people” gave you a hand
Yet he was all alone in there cause he took a trip to loom-py land!
Took a true chocolatier to scrumdiddly kick your ass
With a waterfall of rhymes I left you chewing on your Gilligrass!

Willy Wonka Vs Milton Hershey. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. King Mewtwo)

JEFF: 
It’s the CEO of Amazon plus the richest man on earth,
I can tell by the way you waste money, your IQ is what you're worth!

You should purchase those rats you sell, to take care of this pest!
Better hope you have good luck, to get out of this mess! (Ohhhh)

Claiming good rhymes and bars? Not since HP Lovecraft
Has someone had trouble spelling out “war” or “Cat”

You dropped out of school? Ok, now drop a good rhyme! 
You got rich off of luck, didn’t earn a single dime! (Ohhh)

I got the Slick suit, and Lex Luther appearance
You got peasant clothing, straight outta the clearance

I’m slicker than you, even during my midlife crisis!
Cuz I’m beating this man, fast like my same day delivery! 

TIMOTHY: 

Make way, make way! For the thy bestest lord ever!
I’ll slay, I’ll slay! This washed up terror!

Saying I’m dumb? Well, look at my riches! (Ha)
I could make double of that, with your workplace conditions!
Do like your father, and just go back to the circus!
Cuz I see nothing but a clown, failing at his purpose!

I’ll tell you, Dr.Egghead, to hide away, you hack!
Do what I say, for I pull my musket and attack! (Saying ARGH! At the same time as he says attack )

Got my freedom suit on, like a true American patriot 
While one hurricane is enough to start the riots!

People like you, are the type to try to make me bankrupt, 
I swim in gold, you’re swimming in the debt that your company has brought!

JEFF: 

face it, Timothy, this will be the second time you die!
but trust me when I say, you won’t get away this time!

Like Jesus, man, your brain was split into fours!
Even on Audible, I never heard a story dumber than yours!

My flow is more fire than the Amazon forest, man!
With 2 day delivery, I could deliver more bed warming pans!

I made OVER BILLIONS, just working in my garage!
I wouldn’t listen to your book, a pickle for the knowing ones! 

If it weren't for Sam’ O Nella, you would have been forgotten!
Like I’m coming back from space, face the bars that I’m dropping!

Have a lookout for your win, they’ll be none, from what I’ve heard,
Check your ring doorbell, cuz I just delivered a better verse!

TIMOTHY: 

Disrespecting your superiors again, Jeffery?
I’ll have to pull out the ol’ cane for that Blasphemy!

And people do actually know me, you must be uninformed
Cause like the coal I sell, you’re getting burned

I’ll call you a continental dollar, cuz you're getting owned!
Struggling to beat Musk for the richest man’s throne!

You’re a wannabe- while I’m an OG, 
All I need to beat thee - is continental currency

Jeff Bezos vs. Timothy Dexter- Rap Battle! (Ft. Matt Raichous & KingMewtwo)

Alex Rochon as Spamton
https://www.youtube.com/user/peanut3423
Quizzique as Vince Offer and Spamton (Brackets)
https://www.youtube.com/c/Quizzique

Written and Mixed by Quizzique
Beat by InsaneBeatz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf8Qf7u7iX0
Thumbnail by Quizzique
Special Thanks: GamingPlush64, Trakked, WAN

LYRICS
Vince Offer:
Hi, it’s Vince here with a new product to throw ya!
It’s called an ad blocker, and I’m sure that it’ll blow up
When I show the Dark World denizens, they’ll see right past this specimen
A skeleton of a salesman whose only caller never showed up!
The fanbase finally got over that clown around town
Now you’re the new fetish bait on the DeviantArt grounds
Hey, I’ve gotta ask a quick question to this outcast Addison
How’d you think that jacking fits wouldn’t land you in a trashy pit?
They tossed you in the garbage bin, now you’re stuck making dumpster deals
Asked Kris to find a cartridge, then you tricked them and brought hell on wheels
You thought their soul would bring you light, the Lightners always make good stuff
But you stayed a puppet, no freedom in sight, guess you just weren’t [[BIG]] enough


Spamton:
WOAH! WHO LET THE [[Hochi Mama]] ABUSER ON THE TRACKS?
EVEN I RESPECT WOMEN WHEN RIPPING THEM OFF FOR THEIR [[Wacky Stacks!]]
NOW I’M A [[Number 1 Salesman]] SO I’VE SOLD MY SHARE OF SCRAPS AND FLOPS
BUT YOUR [[Directorial]] DEBUT? THAT MUST’VE GONE THROUGH ONE OF YOUR [[Slap chops!]]
I’LL HAND IT TO YOU, YOU PUT [[HeartShapedObject]] IN ALL YOUR PRODUCTS
BUT LATELY YOU’VE FALLEN HARDER THAN YOU DID IN [[Legal Misconducts]]
SCIENTOLOGY SMEARED YOU LIKE A [[Sham]] AND YOU CRIED “THAT’S [[Bologne]]”
THEN YOU PAID THE PRICE, GUESS YOU'RE NOT [[Invinceable]], MR SHLOMI
THINGS ARE LOOKING SCHTICKY LIKE YOU WERE [[Posing]] FOR A MUGSHOT
BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME, VINCE, THAT YOU WANNA BE A [[BIG SHOT!]]
SO STEP INTO MY SHOP AND HEAR THE [[Dialtone]] SING
BUT IT WON’T BE ANY OF YOUR [[Esteemed customers]] THAT’LL RING


Vince Offer:
You follow this, camera guy? Spamley thinks I care for his wacky stacks!
Even with that cash, the queen still kicked you around like a hacky sack
Without NEO you’ve got no guts, your kromer deals don’t make the cuts
I hear that you’re a fan of pipis, so I bet you’re gonna love my nuts!


Spamton:
ME? LOVE YOUR NUTS? BUT THEY’VE GOT NO [[Glory]]
SINCE MELODY CLAIRE REALIZED MARRIAGE WASN’T MANDATORY
BUT THAT [[Quicky Grass]] COMMERCIAL, WOAH, NOW THAT’S A STORY
IT’S [[Not Cool!]] VINCE, FOR A SALESMAN TO ACT THAT PREDATORY
YOU USED TO BE SOMEBODY, YOU COULD SELL ANYONE A DOGGY BAG
BUT NOWADAYS YOU’VE BEEN REDUCED TO NOTHING BUT A [[College Humor]] GAG
[[HEAVEN]] ARE YOU WATCHING? HERE’S A BIG SHOT FOR YOU TO APPRAISE
YOU CAN TRY AS HARD AS YOU LIKE, BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE BILLY MAYS

Spamton vs Vince Offer | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #1 (ft.  Alex Rochon)

I've gotten a lot of amazing feedback from people regarding UGG vs GOI, and as such, I decided to get a remix of this battle(mainly from someone who is experienced at mixing lol).  Also new cover art bc why not. Enjoy the new mix! I know I do

(NEW) Credits:
Quizzique as Untitled Goose Game
RaccoonBroVA as Getting Over It
Writen by NateURB
REMIX by jort
Beat by Anywaywell
Cover Art by TheDangerStranger
Original matchup by king ducky(and not Grenade that little trickster)

Lyrics(in case you need em again):

U.G.G(V1-0:15)
It’s a lovely morning in the village, and you’re a horrible game
Who’s about to be slain when the geese come out to play!
Released 4 years ago and you only have one award to show for it?
The battle just started, and I already know my civilians are better opponents(hjonk!)
When I start to spit, you can’t get over these hits, bitch!
Send you back down to the bottom of the pit like your players did
Yet they kept playing you for some reason
And raging for Foddy’s entertainment
He urges to be more well-known but you need some knowledge of the basics
The people only care for the game itself, so get over it!

G.O.I(V1-0:45)
Silly goose! I own you. Try to beat me dude, you have some screws loose
All your awards are meaningless, but you call that a Breakthrough?
It’s disturbing seeing how your antics earned your game its profit
I mean honking and tripping over the elderly? How’s that for out of pocket
Once upon a time, people were delighted by your game’s features
But your controls are so wonky, the rocks I climb onto seem easier
I unite people when they stand tall, but you divide the citizens when they fall
In the land of overrated games, you’re the greatest of them all

U.G.G(V2-1:15)
I’m about to beat U, so say GG before you turn to shit
Now it's time to put “kill Diogenes” on my to do list!
Peace was never an option so now lets really get to exposing
Stuck in a leprechaun pot but how is it that my music’s the one that’s Golding?
You’re folding in this battle cuz I’m taking the golden crown with this victory
But given your mythology, taking Ls runs in your history!
Just Cause Foddy had a sad backstory doesn’t excuse this one error:
He took inspiration from trash games, but the result he made was no better
So shush peep, or you
Will sure steep into doom
You still haven’t learned, so let me assure you
Your game is more basic than Push Me Pull You!

G.O.I(V2-1:51)
Even if my game is basic, my fame is still competing with the best
While everyone played you two years ago and I haven’t seen you since!
With the people that review me, they know a good game when they see one
Always being compared to a Goat game but you know you’ll never be one
For a puzzle and stealth game, I expected you to be more challenging
People rage while playing me for days, Markiplier beat you in a live stream!
And it was foolish of you to think this legendary game could be rivaled
You can call me your creators because I just left this Goose Game Untitled!

Getting Over It vs. Untitled Goose Game- Extra Universe Battle! (REMIX!)

hi hi hi trakked
Rabi as The Ticket Taker/Swirly Headed Man
Michael Stark as Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv
Written by:M&Matt
Mixed by:Jort

The Ticket Taker:0:14
Hello I am the ticket taker please allow me to take yours.
Mereana? Id say do not choose this jpeg causing gore
It’s a poorly edited image supposedly from the depths of hell
Trust me watch this and you will NEVER REACH THE OTHER LEVELS
Sorry for the yelling sir, but you really shouldn't watch it
Unfortunately YouTube's cover up means there's no way to stop this
So if you insist, go down the hallway please
I suppose thank you, please enjoy the movie

Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv:0:43
Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv: video known across the world
The Theater: forgotten PS game, shit and old
Sequel story: left his ass debunking
Stole from Mr Mix-a-lot: but no rap abilities
I drive men to madness, spit hellfire with my dissed
my legend is lastin, Was that verse unfinished?
you sit on a throne of lies, I terrify with a png
I'd rip out your eyes, but your spriters did that for me
Check the views, everyone wants to watch, we are not the same
Look at your story's fans, nobody wants to play your game

The Swirly Headed Man:1:11
The walls are spinning, my stomach's turning at this faker
You’ll be left nauseous when meeting with this game breaker
After that rancid verse, your life is what I will Take sir,
Used to be The Ticket Taker, but now im your MovieMaker

Mereana:1:25
My videos from hell even 666 will tell
You've reached a new level. That ring a bell?
I'll take my millions of views and I'll be ridding ya
So I'm guessing those verses were the end of my video...

The Theater vs Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv-Terrifying Rap Battles(feat. Rabi and Michael Stark)

BUY/STREAM: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/zagranis/wanna-go-back

This is just a quick lil thing before some of my bigger tracks, it might go on streaming idk lol enjoy

(Verse 1)
Where did all the time go?
Everytime I try to think about it, I just end up going round in circles
Feel like a psycho
All my homies went off to college, writing down important shit in their journals
It’s just a cycle
I graduated 3 years ago and haven’t done anything with my diploma
Stuck in denial
I had aspirations, hopes, and dreams of what I wanted to do before Corona
I miss the days when I’d wake up in the morning, be excited for the day
Nowadays I feel like everything in life’s getting in my way
Everyone tells me that they’re feeling what I say
But I feel like if we weren’t homies they wouldn’t think to press play
My room is a mess, I haven’t showered in days
Ask my parents to listen to my shit they think it’s a phase
I just feel like I’m going insane in the membrane
24 hours a day, staring at my two displays

(Hook)
I wanna go back
To the good old days
Way back when I didn’t care about
Getting plays or getting praise
I wanna go back
To the good old days
Way back when I didn’t care about
Getting plays or getting praise

(Verse 2)
I get a giant check and I just order DoorDash
My mom tells me that I’m just wasting my cash
I feel like at the end of the day it’s my stash
She feels like I might as well just throw my card in the trash
You really think I like this? Living this life
Just a mere week ago I had to throw away my pocket knife
I don’t like living with these intrusive thoughts in my head
But I guess I’d rather be suffering alive than dead
Constant fights with family about how I should look for a job
They say it’s not healthy to be your own boss
They say I’m stuck up, a suck up, I’m a snob
Every day I go into my pillow and sob
I’m not always super honest like this but I feel it really helps
This is the only form of venting that helps myself

(Hook)
I wanna go back
To the good old days
Way back when I didn’t care about
Getting plays or getting praise

Produced by P90: https://www.youtube.com/c/P90BEATS
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis

Wanna Go Back (Prod. P90)

Cri as The Deep
Grey as Deep Sea King
Written by Grey Julius, CreeperPasta, TheBlindCanadianCat, TripleStabber, Cri, and PRB
Edited by PRB
Mixed and Mastered by Serena
Beat by Ihaksi 
The Deep and Deep Sea King art by Triple Stabber
Saitama art by Kirbo

The Deep
No need to fear, The Deep’s is  here, I’ve got control of everything 
It won’t be hard to own the fish with a crown he got from Burger King
You’re the only fish i’d indorse eating, so i think i’ll call ya weak sauce
So don’t be cross, When i drop the beat and rain on your ass with deep thoughts (ay)
Weaker than nematodes, cheap shots won’t do shit
Lasted two episodes, you’re taking the piss
Watch me and The Seven fold you into deep dish
At least you’ll be sold, in the movie they make of this

Deep Sea King
Now what do we have here, let's have us a  looksy
A peasant who got knocked out  falling off his pet lucy
Even Mumen Rider could beat you, so why do you have the riches 
Now I don't need to kill ya, you already sleep with the fishes
I've seen your obscene flicks, wack like your team, kid
Been ruling the sea here, longer than this freak did
Leave you like other heros, pissing and weeping 
Rain on me? Forgotten who you’re dealing with?
I’m pullin up to get me some fresh kills
You cower up when you’re showing your gills
Better off in Ohio fool, don't even lie
You probably didn’t even write your own lines

The Deep
Nice verse there Fishy, too bad it didn’t sink in
Can't take over me with flow, how can they call you the king, fish? 
Stripped half the guys you fought and they say I’m a creep
But whatchu know about rolling down with The Deep? (ay)
Got owned by Bezos in lame clothes, that shit sounds made up
I ain’t taking shit from the dude wearing clown makeup
Bring the cameras close, everyone! For this last show, i will win this round
Cause I uh,um,uh………………….y-your rhymes are profound

Deep Sea King
Sucking up won’t work do i look like Homelander
They should call you The Shallow all you do is meander
You're living in infamy, while I'm wearing the crown, see?
Like my name was Timothy you can just bite me

The Deep Vs Deep Sea King (ft. Cri & Grey Julius)

Welcome to the series premiere of Objects vs Anything! In this fearsome battle, we have the first president of the United States, George Washington, engaging in lyrical combat against a washing machine. Who will win? Listen to find out!

OBJECTS VS ANYTHING
GEORGE WASHINGTON
VS
WASHING MACHINE
YEP.

George Washington:
This reads not like a battle, more a chore of a weekly visit
When all you’re good for’s washing the red I left on the coats of the British
Want something that’ll make your head enter a spin cycle? Well here, peasant 
You could never revolve without the revolution I spearheaded
I fought for my Rights, got my face on the Bill
Fall to my might, you’ll be leaking yourself
Step to me, your insides get chopped
You’ll be left like a child using you as a hiding spot 
I may have died but look at how I croaked
We all know I’m ill when I rap from my throat
This battle shall read like my inauguration, I’m winning this bitch by unanimous vote

Washing Machine:
Come at me, George? You’ll sustain damage of sorts you can’t afford
Because with skill, you’re more starved than your fellow soldiers in Valley Forge
But all I need is to take one glance at your dirty laundry, son
You’re only good at racial cleansing, call you white-Washington
(Oh!) Big wigs ain’t scaring me
This dude’s been a hack since the cherry tree
This flow, you shouldn’t be crossing, kid
You’ll get whipped like you’re building your monument
While you were out in the war, such a bad leader even the French made you tap out
Ask Martha if you were the only Washington with wood in your mouth
I’m a washing machine and I come in so clean, you’ll bobbing to me cause my bars are so heat
This old Washington freak may have got a DC but on top of this beat, he ain’t fathering me
Bro you used to be known as America’s savior, now scandals cause vandals to spark your erasure 
Now your only history left that remains are the dollars that people come to me to pay with

George Washington:
Oh please, the rope in my lawn is more effective with lines, sir 
I’d call this battle a wash, but your style couldn’t be dryer
People get mad at you when you make a sock lose its place?
Let’s see how mad you get once I leave you socked in the face
I kept the states United in a time of crisis
You’re a wrinkle getting crushed by a fist of iron
First damn president to set foot into office
Meanwhile, it’s a given, your rap noise: obnoxious
Once I’ve left this dysfunctional apparatus burned with rhymes
It won’t take any suicidal web challenge for me to turn the Tides

Washing Machine:
Were too pussy to take sides in any of the Father’s tons of feuds
God damn, even George Washington Carver has more nuts than you!
Call you washed up ‘cause your fame will drown
Threw out the king, so how can you take the crown
Rather alone than in bad company? Hardly
You couldn’t get invited to a political party
No treaty’s enough to defeat me, so now let’s see what your eulogy’s going to read
First in war, first in peace, and first to be cleaned up by the flow machine

WHAT WON?
WHAT’S NEXT?
I’LL PROBABLY DECIDE THE NEXT MATCHUP BUT IF I LIKE YOURS IT’LL BE DONE AND YOU DECIDE THE WINNER!
OBJECTS VS ANYTHING

Snakebite126 as George Washington
Freshy Kanal as Washing Machine
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Child Hiding Spot line written by GamingPlush64
Written by Snakebite126 and Commander Jacob
Additional writing help from Eddiefrb
Beat by Hala-X

That about covers it. I have some ideas cooking up for the next installments, but feel free to suggest your own ideas and if they're good, I'll do them! Smell you later, alligator. ;)

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