i'm back lol.

jay as che guevara / luke skywalker
written by jay
mixed by jay

i did everything basically.

except the thumbnail. that was done by Rabi.

-lyrics-
Che Guevara:
No saber or blaster this bastard could brandish
Could prevent me from bombing him like his sister’s planet
See, I bested JFK- you’re a fool, mate
Mother Russia said knock you out- call me LL Cool Che
I’m vicious and vile- more violent than Vader is
I’ll slay your invasion like your spaceship was the Bay of Pigs
Step to the Marxist with the hardest bars in history
It’s fast you’ll learn, you’ll crash and burn worse than your newest trilogy
I’m top dollar, no one rocks the beat like Guevara
When I drop bars hotter than Queen Amadala
Ya gotta spit hotter if you even want to bother
‘Cause I’m so on fire, I guess I am your father

Luke Skywalker:
Looks like I’m back on Tatooine for this bomb rap
‘Cause judging by your looks, I’m bullseyeing another womp rat
I mean, this cartoonish commie wants to be in power
But the only thing this coward needs to be in is a shower
When Skywalker Rises, better start planning your escape
I’ll blast your band of guerillas back to the planet of the apes
This mascot tries to act like Castro with his flows
But you’re a carbon copy of him- is this Attack of the Clones?
Any disadvantage, I can still overthrow your command
Whether without Han Solo, or with a solo hand
Your raps are coarse and rough- the force is what I’m flowin’ on
Leia ‘nother verse down, I’ve already Obi-Wan 

Che Guevara:
Chico espacial, I’d can it with the slander
I’m a goddamn Phantom Menacing Spanish commander
And to say I’m gross ain’t something you wanna hit towards
Yoda’s ass or your sister; which one do you kiss more?
This Disney princess can’t talk
You’re shacking up with Mickey Mouse and you call me the mascot?
Selling out to corporations 'till the money’s bottomless
I may have failed revolting but at least I’m still a communist

Luke Skywalker:
I lit up the Dark Side, you hardly sparked a revolution
Must be frozen in carbonite ‘cause you couldn’t start a movement
You failed uniting nations and you failed at dissing
You’re like a stormtrooper- you prevail at missing
I could take on more tyrants than you in a day 
This star is topping Che like I was a beret
You’ve meddled with the Rebels and that I can’t let fly
This is your second execution, thanks to the Last Jedi

Che Guevara vs. Luke Skywalker - X Rap Battle #12.

#rapbattle #fallout #gameandwatch

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dilly as vault boy
ennway as mr. game and watch

Written by dilly, swoldow, and masong
(additional writing by nooby, trakked, pixel chris and ennway)
mixed by ennway
beat prod. by ennway
art by triplestabber and nooby
cover art by micah
series logo by timelord

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
https://www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Vault Boy vs Mr. Game and Watch - Rap Battle! (2021)

Thank you to the chads at Discord Rap Battles for letting us use some of the assets from when they were planning on doing this

Fightmarker as Waluigi (audio)
Cri as Waluigi (video)
Mancha as Robbie Rotten (audio)
Pixel Chris as Robbie Rotten (video)
Written by Pixel Chris, Cri, KCToons, JustGamer, AdamDRB, and YourLeastFavoriteEthan
Flow Test by Chandler_CCRB
Cover by KCToons
Mixed by Fightmarker 
Beat by GlitchDude

WALUIGI:
Time to serve you like it's tennis, I've had it with your wack racket!
Can't attack this, I'm flagship, make Nintendo’s Ultra Smash hits
To get this brawl uglier than the CGI on your play poster
I'm no master of playing dress-up but I'll be playing this poser!
You won't even last long when your fifth season got rejected
As while my existence remains because I’m loved around the net 
You're only crashing me to sleep, those bars are no obstacle in battle
When it failed to cage Sportacus in; how'd you like them apples?

ROBBIE ROTTEN:
Are you a real villain? Well, I think we know the answer
Where's your manners? This mischief master has no time for banter
Don’t let your kids watch Waluigi’s defeat, it won't be sweet
I'm known for eating street food so I'll be feeding you concrete 
To leave you choked and have your face match with your purple clothes
How about Fiddle-dee-DEEZ if you keep Rockin' Robbie's boat!
Every rose has it's thorn, a plant made your roots forgotten
You hit the bottom like my lair, where this fruity man turns Rotten
Your swing and missin’ can't land you a bogey, now listen closely
See, this phony sports pro hasn't even owned a single trophy
'Cause you're a menace, an assist enlisted for a fill-in 
Like tennis, you’re here to be game set matched with a better villain!

WALUIGI:
Hats off to you for being such a downright L of a foe
Given the design of my 'stache, it's clear my Dub’s on the nose!
Your clones turned out great… they matched your stupidity! (Robbie's Clone: Hey!)
When your mindset making a working plan is the largest of trickeries
Like, every day you race to trick all of Lazy Town’s kids
But you fall short every time, truly a dastardly dick
How I wonder how these puppets see the strings of your lame schemes
Their bodies are literally plastic more than your face, please!
No match for this flow bender, even with your goons of three
'Cause I own tracks from my ballin; feast your eyes on my machine!
You can't rewind from this loss, unlike the others you didn't ponder
Now back to your base since this meme's used to being six feet under!

ROBBIE ROTTEN:
Those disses served no deuces, seen Luigi's packing bunch
My styles' eye candy, yours more like Sports Candy, yuck!
You're quite awful in your spin-offs, all you do is sport-a-flop
Yet talk a big game even though you don’t even have your own one
Forget any plumber bros, don't need a touch screen for a dream team to be in people's hearts to the core
Haven't watched your biggest role performance any worse in a rap showdown since SMG4!
'Cause the only shade you got was as a shadow of a shadow, now go sob "WAAA I LOST!" 
I knew you're so stingy for first place while everyone knows I'm the Villain… Number... ONE!

Waluigi vs Robbie Rotten - Hilarious Hip Hip Hassles of Here & Now

Frankenstein’s Monster:
LEGO set from pizzeria against me? In no mood to play!
I choke you with your own wires, this time you thrown away!
You don’t spit ill, ironic with fandom so toxic
Step to me, get neck snapped like toy, Foxy
Flow gold like Fredbear, I give you the death stare
Try to be terrifying, but map bots make people scared
We have characters with same names, is that coincidental?
But now ripping-off Jekyll and Hyde with a sun—I’m skeptical!
This monster leaves your FNaF World Glam-rocked
Toss you out like Bonnie and leave your mouth springlocked
It’s not ‘84, but you still come to me and bite?
Rule34 puts real meaning to “getting quirky at night”
I murder William in one night, I bring father to tears
You killed by William in one night, you can’t kill him for years! (raaah!)
Once upon a time, your game scary and eerie
Then people got confused because of gender and Game Theory!

Mangle:
Better fix your grammar if you want to fight this A.I.
Illiterate Shrek is nothing compared to my franchise
Damn right, you’re on candid camera, so sit tight
And I just might let you survive until the fifth night
You killed an innocent man and let the servant get slaughtered
Then you beg for a girlfriend, but she gets tossed in the water
Thought you’d get revenge on dad by killing Elizabeth
Well now I’m here, the one you shouldn’t have dissed!
Your lines are just like your clothes: old and shabby
While this hot-headed machine is spitting colder than daddy
In this battle you’re my Puppet because you’re no Music Man
Make lyrics that are less withered if you wanna join this band
Your story is complete trash, I’ll shove it in Chica’s beak
My timeline’s less complex than the reasons behind this freak
After listening to you, I can see why you were abandoned
You’re a Nightmare to your father who he wishes he kept dead!

Frankenstein’s Monster:
It’s shocking this machine still hanging around
Well this phantom not fantastic; my raps will burn you down
Be like Scott and retire ‘cause this battle make me tired
My story liked for years with no help from Markiplier

Mangle:
No amount of zapping could make this idiot bright
So quick to murder Henry, but no so quick with your lines
And when your enemy dies, you resort to suicide?
You've reached the very end, but you're not the victor, Frankenstein!

Cast/Crew:
SPM1000 as Frankenstein’s Monster
JesseBox as Mangle
Written by DonivideR & SPM1000
Mixed by Light
Beat by Marsad Men
Art and Cover by Grasman

Frankenstein's Monster vs. Mangle - Crazy Diss Wars

Mewtwo:
Birthed from a lab as the pure form of perfection
My goal was to bring the Pokemon insurrection
And with you I sense there’s a connection
Though I was not the one made from a peasant

I find that I cannot condone your lazy flick
Used your physicality to make a leap of logic with the crazy chick
He was made to be a master of analysis
…and yet he still sided with the crazy chick

Pokedex 150, try to diss, you’ll miss me
I know that your shit’s weak, this psychic type spits heat
You know not what I bring as a challenge you won’t fit me
Know that when I’m rhyming, I don’t spare or pity

The Ultimate Lifeform created with every talent, meant to save mankind but then all your hope was gone
But that should’ve been easily predicted when you try to battle with the god of all Pokemon

Izuru Kamakura:
I must say, I’m oddly perplexed about why you would need to lie of your title
It’s difficult to understand what sort of god loses to a rat and a child?
I was made as the savior of hope, you were made as a DNA clone
That stops being a threat and turned into a pet…if a single Pokeball’s thrown 

Cast Confusion on your foes but the best of your ploys
Was choosing to make a tour guide out of Nurse Joy
The ultimate lifeform can’t seem to do much to harm me
When each iteration sees him needing an army

Meant to be an icon yet you lack the attention
Cause you're as original as your own naming convention 
I could neutralize him before his next turn starts at all
Since it won’t be the first time that he’s cut from Brawls

Mewtwo:
Tell me whose favorite character’s the nihilist punk? 
I’ll leave this Psycho Cut, one swipe and you’re done
And you would’ve remained a Remnant of Despair if
Your facade wasn’t weakened by Chiaki’s hairpin 

Izuru Kamakura:
My past is the path of attack that he’s taken
So I’ll leave all openings Cerulean Caved in 
But I know that Game Freak’s just gonna kill him
Next time they need a Pokemon to fill in for villain

Written by JustGamer
Mewtwo: Fightmarker
Izuru Kamakura: JustGamer
Beat by Dansonn
Mixed by Serena
Cover Art by Rabi
Special thanks to JesseBox

Mewtwo vs Izuru Kamakura - Smash Bros vs Anything

Welcome to the eighteenth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two… fucking dumbasses! It's that one pink obese starfish, Patrick Star! Trying to dog it out with the character who is clearly a dog but gets confused for a cow bull thing for some reason, Goofy!

Lyrics:
Goofy:
Gawrsh, Rick! A sponge soaking sap is what your pair amounts?
Like Paramount! I'll make a mountain out of your pebble house!
How you flipping that thing but still can't flip a patty
Patty flipped his padding, and now all he does is freakin'…. padding!
A-hyuck! I'm pulling your leg, and it won't regenerate
Between two psychotic Patrick's, I'm messin' with Bate
Not to say I couldn't catch this fish on a hook with bait
Offer em' a spin-off and it's practically tooken, heyyy…
Wait a minute. That was meta, shucks
But you're just a loser, while Goofy tends to, "Hyuck"
If me having a son didn't get to register
But you're a chub, if asking for food tends to g-check this register!

Patrick:
Is mayonnaise a verse? 'Cus if not, I'll have to pack you.
I must son you! So let's think of what would Max do
He'd prob ignore your advice, say you're destroying his life
Oooh wait, you're the dad, or you're supposed to be, riight?

Goofy:
Uhh, glad you could pin it down! So spare me the kindness
'Cus you're a pinhead, I'll knock you down with a bit of strikin'
The fingers grip like I di-

Patrick:
Heyyy, who you callin pinhead.
I'm the real Goober here! And I don't even fall for tripping

Goofy:
Shucks, you think you'd get smarter after you fell off again
Now your show's like Rocky, I'll start by tossin' it
Exec's camping, it's all just meh, you dropped ice when that came near
Stephen rolls in his grave like; "we should be safe here"!

Patrick:
You’re milkin' your goofy ahh battle raps while you still can
Might be why his fam likes to get smooched by the milkman.
There’s no battling Patrick, I’ll hang the fight up that quick
Lose ‘cause your lining tactics? No, this is rap-trick!
They ask if it's trap then I tend to get maddened!
They're not even crabs, it makes me crabby when it happens…
Oh yeaaah, I have to pop this giraffe 
And, I ain't talking the spots they have when you get some hands
Guess, I'm owning this caught dog, so you can tell how Pluto feels
But he’s got no hot-dog in him! Hence why you pulled a veal
The inner amalgamations of my pen is an enigma
Do you live under a…ehhh, uhhhhhhh.

-CAST-
Patrick Star: jort
Goofy: RaccoonBroVA

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Smush
Written by: JaCoN, and Danii
Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2CcQA6SCRY&ab_channel=Anywaywell
Beat Produced by: Anywaywell
Mixed by: jort

Patrick Star vs Goofy - (Quick Diss) #18

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

Kinger vs. Needlemouse • Analog vs. Anything.

-- NO SAMPLES -- 
...:: Lease the untagged wavefile now for just $30,  
Premium Lease: $70, Extended Premium: $100 Unlimited Lease: $250 

…:: email: info@ear2thabeat.com

PINATAS

Jughead Jay as Jeff Randell (Clarence)
Vladimyr P. as Double D (Ed, Edd, n Eddy)

Jeff Randell:
Fun Dungeon rumble with a Randell? I’m too much for you to handle
I’m pungent making you crumble; you can’t handle scented candles
You’ll redundantly spit disses more repeated than your name
Because Ed’s the only reason Edd and Eddy got their fame!
False advertising worthy opponents is one hell of a scam
In rap, or with math, I'll always be Surpassing this exam
And before you say it, don’t you dare call me a square!
I get more hats off to me than the mystery of your hair
I’ll knock your lights out, but you ain’t my Buddy, Stars
You’ll be Lost like the Playground if you think you’ll get far
Beat a prepubescent teen like there’s a problem at Petey’s
I’d get ya seeing Double but you’re missing all the D!

Double D:
It seems I’m squaring off against an aggressive 9 year old?
Now I’ll be putting all the dirt on this infectious germaphobe
If you’re tryna get it with Chelsea, then this isn’t the place to Rowe
Because your rhymes are more embarrassing than your extra toe (oh!)
This Plank is dissing dull against a verse with so much flavor
So in that case, I suppose, I’ll give you this Jawbreaker
I’ll Bee Spelling it for you; you cannot see your chance to win
‘cause I'm the smartest Rap-matician than you have ever been
Eddy’s a Money Broom Wizard; you’re more akin to his brother
Getting your licks in like you learnt it from one of your mothers?
Your body’s built to wrong proportions, which means, physically you’re weak
I’d tell you to stick with the classic’s but you’re already overshadowed by Harvey Beaks

Jeff Randell:
Toe to toe with a polydactyly? Best try a new strategy
Cause my theories disprove your purgatory’s contemporaneity
Burnin’ oven mitt to a crisp, just to make ya’ FusionFall
You're a double dickhead while I’ve got a pit of plentiful balls
I’m Jeff! I’m the best! I’ll be putting you to the test
When I’m taking care of each one of the Edds and all the rest!
Sporting disses quite well-rounded more than my head is at all
And I’ve got one with your name on it! Let’s play dodgeball...

Double D:
You’re quite the coward! This sis is comparable to the Kankers (ow..)
This clean neatfreak can’t even practise proper Bedside Manners
I’m lyrical and analytic; this prick is plainly pitiful
An anti-social hopeless case who like his past-time is trivial
Quit trippin’ or you’ll break like you did Belson’s game machines
Can’t best a spelling bee but wins at being an uptight drama queen
No need for general knowledge to know what you spit are lies
Cause this perfectionist takes ridicule as well as.. he does his Fries.

Writers: Vlad and Uncredited
Best Produced by Tristan
Audio Mixer: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Jughead Jay

Jeff Randell vs Double D. Universal Rap Battles

Booster Gold: Seth
Skeets: Raichous
Kang the Conqueror: Titanium1208
Written by: Jenni No Mercy, Titanium1208, Seth W, Freshy Kanal, Jay

Cover art by Fightmarker

Not to worry citizens, I’m faced off with a loser
Who should know to Conquer the Gold, you’re gonna need a Booster!
With rhymes so bright, I gotta keep my shades on
Skeets:
This Kang looks as if he was coloured in with crayons
Booster:
Skeets, give me the rundown (His skill is non-existant)
No wonder this “tyrant” asks his enemies for assistance (True!)
Namesake richer than Richards, the decay of decades bent to me
But you should know it, (coming from the 31st century)
You have no rapping room, you LEGO headed goon
Your entire schtick’s ripped off from Doctor Doom
And here I was, thinking that my buddy Ted was the blue bug
Steer clear of the Scarlet, head back to the Fuchsia

Kang: 
In these strange circumstances, it's hard for me to swallow
That I’m challenged by a foolish Time-Warping Johnny Bravo!
I’m taking over whole worlds, expanding my dominion
You’re draped in blue with yellow too, and goggles, you’re a Minion!
Now, your pure jock stupidity does have me intrigued
of how a moron could shoe horn his way into the Justice League
With a mind of my intellect, there's no way to compete
Of course your rhymes are shit when you’re relying on Skeets!
This confidence of yours in spitting syllables is absurd
When your name was created from you stumbling over words
Always chasing fame, jumping round from squad to squad
I’m winning this gamble, don’t you go fixing the odds

Booster:
I couldn’t lose this one on purpose even if I wanted ta’
You’re falling faster than you were Fantastic floored as Rama-Tut
You wanna talk jumping? Let’s have a look at you
Kang is hopping timelines like a bloody Kangaroo! (Croikey!)
And y’know what gets me more than your death in Secret Wars?
This dude took his own life tryna measure dicks with Thor (Ooh!)
I thought my ego was big, (but you are forever thirsty)
I’ll talk to your council and find a Kang more worthy!
Though almost every other version too deserves to be trashed
Cause you went and screwed up time even worse than the Flash (Burn!)
How am I supposed to be convinced that you’re trying
When you can’t take over planets unless they’re already dying?

Kang:
Was that a script for your commercial? It lacked charm.
The realest thing about you is a robotic arm
No matter the timeline, you fail at every moment
I'm inspired! Every single thing you've earned you’ve stolen!
Never has a tale or story left me more bored
Than that buddy-cop gimmick you’ve been spinning with Kord
You suck the life and fun away from all that you’ve controlled
You’re no Supernova - only a black hole!
Making deals with Monarch just to stop your feeling feeble
Yet you turn to me and preach that I’m the one who’s evil?
Your disses were all missing as if written by your father
Bitch - I Kang. I saw. I conquered.

Booster Gold VS Kang the Conqueror - CBRB Vol. 2 Issue 11

Dani as Pyro
Cole as Asbestos Man
Written by Fight, and Cole
Beat by Dan Skinner, Dave James, and Adam Skinner
Mixed by Fightmarker

Asbestos Man
My time’s wasted in this contest of who’s got the best flows
The psychopath with a lighter or the man of asbestos?
Using my net would be useless, it’d only be an improvement
Lag-bots restricting your movement, casual’s straight up in ruins
Come at it: your best heat simply fails to impress me
As your pathetic flaky fibers can’t best my super vest, see
how do you fair in a game focused on the teamwork of a crew
When not even your commades want to be around you

Pyro
Stay away, because from the looks of your suit
It’s just another reason why women don’t want to touch you
Outshined by Asbestos Lady, it’s about to happen a second time
And seeing the acts you call evil, you being concieved is the worst crime
BURN YOU TO DEATH
No sunshine or rainbows when I’m forced to trade bows
RUNNING OUT OF BREATH
When I become unstable, I tend to make some angels
NO SECONDS LEFT
My kill count display shows each particle is fatal
AXE THROUGH YOUR CHEST
The painless and faster way to getting your lungs disabled
I’m a merc, offing nerds is just another day of work
But this is sad man, what do I do, unplug your life support?
Got beat by the worst of the four, you won’t be hard to scorch
So I’ll burn your fucking corpse, yeah, thats a Human Torch

Asbestos Man
Stop it with the mumble rap, your “flames” are useless
Going against this brilliant chemist is nothing but foolish
When this nuisance is not used and hated by the pro players
the fact that 12 year olds are the only ones maining you isn’t doing you any favors
Now the only time you’re running tracks decently is when you’re DLC for Sonic
You’re a side character; ironic, I’m the head here, iconic
So I’ve had it with your fans I’ll be the one to end your mystery
It doesn’t matter what you look like either way you’re fucking ugly

Pyro
You’d have to believe in magic to ever think that you’re besting me
You’re more equal with cancer; Mann vs Ventilation Machine
Whole comic history’s a Strange Tale ever since you stepped on the scene
Let’s hope this time your death won’t be done off screen

Waluigi vs Robbie Rotten - Hilarious Hip Hip Hassles of Here & Now

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