SURF OR DROWN, Vol. 2

Tony Fontana 4

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https://music.empi.re/drumworkalbum

Andre 3000 - Conway The Machine, D Smoke & 7xvethegenius (feat. Bangladesh)

THEODORE & ANDRE

THE MAIN EVENT (feat. Johnathan Hulett)

Time After Time

Chop

Gamla Kyrkogatan

Count Your Blessings

On My Way To Berlin

89 Rolex (feat. Ab-Soul)

Choosing Shoes

Home ain’t always home.
Sometimes it’s a smile painted over bars.
Sometimes it’s four walls whispering,
“You owe us who you are.”

“Family first,” that’s what they preach, right?
Funny how the “first” in line is always the fight.
Every hug came with a warning,
Every kiss came with a rule,
Every “We love you,”
Came with a version of me I had to prove.

They say I speak in storms,
But they’re the ones who taught me rain.
They said I’m dramatic
But who gave me all this pain?
Who taught me fear in the name of love?
Who taught me silence to keep them above?
Who wrapped me tight
Just to call it a hug?
Who clipped my wings
And called it “making sure you don’t get hurt”?

Nah
They feared the sky more than I did.
So they buried my flight
Before I ever learned to lift.

Why does “We’re just trying to help”
Feel like someone pressing thumbs into my chest?
Why does “We care”
Sounds like “Don’t you dare take one step”?

These walls got names.
Every brick’s a command I never agreed to take.
Every crack’s a truth I wasn’t allowed to say.
They said they’re keeping me safe
But all I feel is afraid.
Caught in a cage
Made of guilt, and love, and things I can’t explain.
They call it “family.”
I call it “chains.”
They call it “care.”
But it feels like they want me restrained.

I don’t blame them, that’s the worst part.
It’s hard to fight a prison
When the guards think they’re protecting your heart.
Hard to scream “LET ME OUT!”
When the ones holding the door
Are crying at the thought
Of you ever wanting more.

“Stay close.”
“Stay small.”
“Stay safe.”
Translation?
“Stay exactly where we can watch you fall.”
They built the box,
Then told me it was home.
Told me space was disrespect,
Told me wanting life was wrong.

And the guilt
God, the guilt is a masterpiece.
They play it soft on the strings in me.
Every time I try to move,
They break just enough
To pull me back with the line:
“Don’t you care about us?”

Love shouldn’t feel like panic.
Love shouldn’t feel like tiptoeing.
Love shouldn’t feel like drowning in someone else’s hoping.
Love shouldn’t feel like being the villain
For choosing your own story.
Love shouldn’t feel like apologizing
For wanting to exist fully.

These walls got names.
Every brick’s a demand that keeps me in place.
Every shadow is guilt painted over my face.
They say they’re keeping me safe—
But safety shouldn’t suffocate.
I’m stuck in a cage
Built by love, redesigned into pain.
They call it devotion.
I call it shame.
They call it “stay home.”
But home feels like
A lock with my name.

Maybe they don’t see the harm.
Maybe they’re blind to the scars.
Maybe they think the world is cruel
So they never saw the cruelty in how they held my arms.

But protection without trust
Is a prettier word for fear.
And fear disguised as love
Is the softest kind of spear.

One day I’ll walk out.
Not to leave them behind
But to stop leaving myself behind for them.
One day I’ll breathe air
Not filtered through their doubt.
One day I’ll speak
Without worrying who I’ll let down.
One day I’ll love them
Without losing myself in the amount.

One day I’ll stand outside
And look back without shame
And I’ll see the truth:
The door was always open…
But guilt kept writing my name
On every wall
So I’d think leaving
Was a sin I couldn’t reclaim.

These walls got names…
But none of them
Are mine.

Walls with names [UNCHAINED]

Cleopatras view

Cleanse

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