prod heydium <3

lyrics: 

yeah i struggle a lot with myself
i spend a lot of time stuck in this hell
caught up between realities
i try not to become another victim of mentality
but i tell you what..
this life is slowly killin me

da da da da
this shits too much
da da da da 
like i rlly give af?

how do i make this something real?
i fuck with the aesthetic
i just dont get the appeal...
and its kinda fuckin me up
hardly livin wit the liquor and the drugs
this life has never been enough
i hate myself and it fuckin sucks
yeah its been so long man, stuck in this rut
i could die tomorrow
yeah, nobody give af 

yeah nobody give af...
nobody give af...

NOBODY GIVE AF

Spotify

nobody give af [+heydium]

@nevermadeithome
@jolst
@pekarot_161

i can never get myself to care
you can try to fix me but you cant
blurs in my vision overhead
stumbling around, it's only chance
its only chance
damage
i set up the scene in which i land in
pull the curtains down, you cannot make me stand this
i ran in
ruined all i had my hand in
i sit back no use in standin
you wouldn't understand it
too much on my mind
wish i could agree
i couldn't stomach all the lies
i go back there all the time
now you see, i can never get it right

nevermadeithome:
u really ruin my mood
guess thats all on me
cast that shit behind
like a cloak check my feet
i be dancing on my own in my room
keep romancing on ur phone ur not cool
damage
i set up the scence in which i land in
u use to own 2019 but u vanished
savage u know u fdk up panic
u been round to long i guess that u had it

vanish w/ nevermadeithome (jolst x pekarot)

tell me where it ends 
tell me where we end 
tell me when I gotta give it back 
lemme like you 
but tell me my cue 
tell me when I gotta stop 
I love you.
I gotta make do.
gotta make do,
I love you.
I gotta make do..
I'm playing it safe cause I don't know what ur intentions are, will you make it go far?
you seem nice 
you seem nice 
I appreciate you for caring 
caring
I appreciate you for caring  
caring.
I love you but I don't wanna hurt you, hurt you
I love this but Imma enjoy it while I can, can

intentions (skellington)

blue dress (prod.timeless)

it's the way that you said w/ keeper

track 2 
prod speedlmt 
mixed + mastered by me 

and i’m right on ur street 
and i’d love to see u bleed
and i’ve learned so many things 
since we last met
i can’t wait to show u 

and i smile as you scream 
cus i’ve lost everything 
this means nothing to me 
so if u beg 
i’ll blind u with this irony 

ive killed 3 men for u my love
and i would kill again 
i’ve seen so many people run
i wipe my tears and repent 
and u tell me 
that i will be just fine 
but i wont 
unless you come here 
i promise i wont hurt u
and u tell me that i’m evil
i said i know
i’m obsessed with ur perfume

 and i’m right on ur street 
and i’d love to see u bleed
and i’ve learned so many things 
since we last met
i can’t wait to show u 

and i smile as you scream 
cus i’ve lost everything 
this means nothing to me 
so if u beg 
i’ll blind u with this irony

killer, pt2 (speedlmt)

prod. caves

i've been stalking you
can i be somebody new?
waiting on a text from you
but you would never get it thru your head
and my head, 
is killing me right now
while you were chilling with your friends
and you'd never fuck around
who do i trust?
probably you, but
i dont love
no 
not since kyra, and
not since kai
not since the boy across the world
world
the first one was a test run
and the second one he wanted none
if you want me you should've kept me
and i dont know why i didnt respond to you
and now i feel fucked up
i think i fucked up.
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up

if not, then rot.

confusion w/ hiraeth (switch)

just a vent, very drunk rn 
shoutout my brother @jolst on the production



tell me baby does he write you songs? 
blood all on my pillow when i wake up shit is wrong
i been takin 30’s got me itchin i can’t stop 
every time i think i got a hit it start to flop
i wish that i never saw those numbers from the start 
try not to let it bug me but i can’t lie it hurt my heart
i spill my soul on the mic n go smoke a dart 
shoutout to big veins we just alike in that regard 

everybody write bout doin drugs, it’s ok
but u ain’t ever threw up in ur sleep it burn ur lungs
i been sippin lean for 4 days babe im havin fun, ay
feel my heart beatin in my chest i’m dying young
and words are powerful theyll kill u like a gun 
watch the shit u speak cus ur whole life it becomes
people love to talk their shit but watch em when i run
when i fly to USA im landin with a punch 

i got G.E.R.D
regurgitation ): 
might pop a 40
and float away and
can’t stand you phonies
so go away yea
got good friends round me
but they won’t stay, yea 
and i’m used to that 
always been the same 
since a small boy i been
always filled with hate 
but i love my momma 
and i love my dad :)
and i’m thankful daily
for the shit i have 

maybe life is okay
maybe it’s not that bad 
i got someone who loves me
can’t argue with that <3 
i still get so fucked up
til i can’t call a cab 
i been tryna love myself 
but i don’t love me back 
i still wake everyday 
with shit on my shoulders i’m a heavyweight
get away
from all the negative things i always say 
fill the page
with shit i would think but i would never say
care+ in my drink 
but i been tryna get in better shape 

i can’t even think yea 
baby i’m just sitting here recording with a drink yea 
shoutout to the gang 
that’s double L all on my krink yeah 
shoutout to the goat jolst 
can’t wait till we link yeah <3 (love u bro) 

n i still wear a hoodie 
even when it’s hot
pull it over my face
so u can’t see me rot
baby take your hood down
girl i’m self conscious
everybody talkin money $$$
don’t know what a job is 

i guess this is what they call 
a r- release 
i just love you all so much 
that i can’t even speak
i feel fuckin worthless
but you’re all helping me
this one for the soundcloud
ima go to sleep … 

(love u all bro i get a lil soppy when i am drunk sorry )

maybe its not that bad (jolst)

shoutout my homie for bein on this! @notaheroo

lyrics:

i’ve been drowning my sorrows in the bottom of bottles
she said i should relax and not to go full throttle 
baby just calm down and i’ll be gone by tomorrow
you say your heart has been hollowed

but have you looked at me lately?
i’m the one who needs a saving grace
her eyes they pierce so painfully
i see your face and i’m back in that place

they’ve left me with nowhere to go
i’ve been broken down and on my own
my shoulders are crushed from the weight of it all

and you’ve been laughing at me waiting for me to fall
and i lack the motivation to force myself to crawl
you held back information knowing that it’s your fault
clarification is shown behind the walls
a now known revelation planned to kill my soul

it’s hard not to fold 
underneath the mold
of what i was always told and what i’m feeling
the seasons are changing again

oh, changing again
oh, can you tell me where the times been?

(notahero)

can u hear me coming baby?
open up the front door
i know time is infinite
but i don’t think i got much more
my bones and back grow sore
u tell me i should fight
pain gets defied when i look up in ur eyes
sorrow gets diffused into energy all u gotta do is fight
it’s hard enough waking up
be my saving grace tonight
anxiety riddles me when i feel my lungs fucking up
the pressure belittle me when i don’t think that i’m blowing up
but riddle me this baby
how come i ain’t never show no signs of giving up?

full throttle w/ notahero (R3DQX x Luffy)

Hurting,

Can you feel the pain, I feel tonight,
look me deep within the eyes,
can tell that I don't live my life, so,

Tired,

Of these games that we play,
you've thrown me into my grave,
it's like you never even cared at all,

there's scars all over my hands,
and burn holes from cigarrettes,
at least I'm numb, of regrets,

Take my life, but it's not my time no,
knife in the back, and a slit down my throat,
would you even care no, never really cared yah,
would you even care girl, never really cared yah.

Tried my best, I can't help your sickness,
lost in my head, will I overcome this,
would you even care no, never really cared yah,
would you even care girl, never really cared yah.

(My lyrics)

blue dress (prod.timeless)

hoepless

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