This song is based with piano and Vocals but also has strings that tie the song to an ending.

They Were Only Kids

(Only When) I Want You To(o)

This album is a conglomeration of songs that I've recorded over the past two years. I recorded these songs all over the world; from Denver, to all the way across the ocean in Prague. It deals with my divorce, how I've dealt with it, how I feel about who I've become, as well as my feelings about work, society and the music scene of America right now. There are some songs that I can say I am very proud to have written, as well as songs that truly represent my feelings at the time that I might not be as proud of. 

All in all, for the amount of recording and musical knowledge that I have, I am really happy with how this turned out. It is not a comprehensive album, there are probably another 20+ songs that I have written that didn't make it on to this EP. Maybe a B-Sides is in the future.

To my family, listen at your own discretion, there is vulgarity, as well as various unsavory topics. To my friends, I really hope you enjoy this look into my life. To my fellow musicians and audio engineers... I'm sorry that it sounds as terrible as it does.

And to you, I'm sorry. 

Don't Let Go!

Work

90's San Diego

You said that you don't like that you like me a lot
If you knew whats been dancing on my tongue
that'd probably stop
the club lights are playing across your unreal face
that you hide behind a curtain of smoke
last night after building up your walls so high
you let me hold you while you cried

And its been two days and I've been off my medication
you haven't seen my face and I am full of trepidation
my anxiety is telling me that you've had space and time to think
maybe you're not into me

I wouldn't blame you
I hate myself just a bit too much
I don't wanna tame you
I just wanna feel your touch

You said that you don't like that you like me a lot
If you knew whats been dancing on my tongue
that'd probably stop
the club lights are playing across your unreal face
that you hide behind a curtain of smoke
last night after building up your walls so high
you let me hold  you while you cried

and i told you, ill try to make you alright
its hardly been a week and you're stuck on my mind
can you blame me you're simply just too beautiful
can you save me, you know that I am pitiful

I knew it
you hate me
you never wanna see me again
I knew it
you hate me
You never wanna see me again

You said that you don't like that you like me a lot
If you knew whats been dancing on my tongue
that'd probably stop
the club lights are playing across your unreal face
that you hide behind a curtain of smoke
last night after building up your walls so high
you let me hold you while you cried

Now its been two days and I've been off my medication
you haven't seen my face and I am full of trepidation
my anxiety is telling me that you've had space and time to think
maybe you're not into me

I wouldn't blame you
I hate myself just a bit too much
I don't wanna tame you
I just wanna feel your touch

(You Don't Like That) You Like Me a Lot

A song to my ex wife about how sorry I am for everything that happened.

Lyrics:

Oh how I love you
And oh how I lost you
Oh how I miss you
And oh how I’m sorry

Small things like wet cloths and fans
Big things like marriage and Life plans
Oh, How I love you

Small things like quiet details of my day
Big things like lying about my pain
Oh how I lost you

Small things like I love you and holding hands
Big things like you love me and you understand
Oh how I Miss you

Small things like getting better and being who I am
Big things like Marriage and Life plans
Oh how I’m sorry

Oh how I love you
oh how I lost you
Oh how I miss you
And oh how I’m sorry

Oh I am sorry
Please believe me when I say
I never meant for us to end this way
Oh I am Sorry

Oh how I love you
oh how I lost you
Oh how I miss you
And oh how I’m sorry

Don't Let Go! Acoustic B-Sides

How I'm Sorry

My first attempt at spoken poetry. I like to think it has a bit of a Watsky vibe to it but I could be wrong. 

I wrote this one night when I was feeling particularly depressed with where I am in my life. It's not always how I feel but I think that it might be the core.

Lyrics:

If this could stop hurting right about now
That would be really great
Cause everyone says 
eventually it'll stop hurting
And I guess that means
That it was entirely meaningless
But I still want it to matter
I can't imagine how anything matters
If this didn't
If we didn't
If five years of my short life
Didn't mean a thing
But I guess if they had
Maybe you would've seen through
The poison clouding the dining room
Maybe you could've seen the man
That I thought you loved
Maybe you should've seen that broken
as I was I was trying
Maybe you would see me.
Two worthless , sleepless, lonely months
full of tears, regrets and drinking
Maybe you just finally
got your life together
in a way that made those months
make more sense
than the pinky promises
the wedding vows
and the five years spent together.
I guess if you're better off
Since I still love you
I'm glad I'm gone
but I hate everywhere I am
Because it's not with you
It's so cheesy but you know
that's who I am
although, maybe you don't.
Maybe you don't know me
Maybe you never did
Maybe I changed when I started
lying and cutting 
and thinking about suicide
For the thousandth time
Maybe it was in the songs I wrote
Maybe it was the debt we were in
Maybe it was in sleep patters
Or work schedules
Or stupid astrological alignments
That Cosmo could've pointed out
If we'd only thought to read it.
But I've still got paintings by you
in the basement of a rich mans home
Only a five minute drive
from were we got married.
but I guess that doesn't matter.
I guess none of it does.
I guess it's all in the past
and I guess maybe the pain I feel
will be too.
eventually.
I guess that today doesn't matter.
I guess yesterday doesn't either.
I guess nothing really matters.
I guess we''re just stuck imagining
That the future could be better
and waiting for it to magically be so.
I guess a lot of things because it seems
I don't know anything.
I don't know you.
I don't know myself.
I don't know the future.
I don't know why all this happened
Or why it's easier sleeping when
I've had too many drinks.
I know that now I want you to be happy.
Will that change as this stops hurting?
Will I just gradually stop caring?
it hurts worse to imagine
That it'll stop hurting.
Cause it means I care.

Spoken Poetry and Broken Vows

Acoustic Absences

The Shakes

Passing Faces

Filthy, Selfish Coward

Come Home (Or Don't)

Cover

Heavy (Linkin Park Cover)

Hold On! is a project started by Parker Heisler, in his apartment in Denver Colorado. It features his originally written, composed and personally recorded music.

Hold On!

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