dear no one

boop boop here's a new song

lyrics:
this is a ballad to the mess i've made
to the ones who decided they had better things to do than stay
this is an anthem to the nights i spent alone
digging my nails into my palm
heavy weights tied to my bones
the fire that raged inside my lungs
eventually smothered and died
and i expected to choke on the smoke
but i'm doing just fine

this is an ode to the people i've let down
when my back broke and i couldn't hold you
i was left in pieces on the ground
this is a song for the nights i couldn't sleep
headphones blaring, ceiling staring
swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks
moving on is something i'd like to avoid
but fears were made for first tries
so as far as i'm concerned,
i'm doing just fine

[voiceover]
hey, i'm sorry i missed your call, i got invited to some big dinner thing, whatever. i guess what i was trying to say earlier is, like... i've spent so much time ripping off pieces of myself and using them to patch up other people, you know? it sounds so dumb, i know! but, like, i feel like i need to start patching up myself for a change, even though it sounds selfish. it's almost like i keep giving my food to everyone so they won't starve, but what about me? i don't know if this makes any sense to you, but i just wanted to talk out what i'm feeling right now. call me when you get this, okay? hopefully i'll pick up this time.

ode to the people i've let down

a recording from my performance with will thorley at the open chord in knoxville, tennessee. he was on guitar and i did vocals. 

skinny love [live @ the open chord with will thorley]

a piano track i wrote from the mindset of depression after the fact

LYRICS BELOW

my hands are bound behind me
boulders are tied to my feet
the light off the water is blinding
as i'm pulled down into the deep
starved of all human emotion
the light off the water grows dim
cause someone pushed me in the ocean
and i forgot how to swim

and i can't tell if i'm coping
sometimes falling feels like floating

time runs together
when you can't see the sky
and i used to be free
when i knew how to fly
all my consistency's
burnt to the ground
and i've built these walls up
just to drown

the earth just keeps on turning
the world is strapped onto my back
the fire inside me is burning
and i choke on the smoke and the ash
in my ears i can hear my heart drumming
as i sink down into the sea
the walls of my lungs are crumbling
and i'm smothered under debris

and i can't tell if i'm coping
sometimes falling feels like

time runs together
when you can't see the sky
and i used to be free
when i knew how to fly
all my consistency's
burnt to the ground
and i've built these walls up
just to drown

just to drown

time runs together
when you can't see the sky
and i used to be free
when i knew how to fly
all my consistency's
burnt to the ground
and i've built these walls up

time runs together
when you can't see the sky
and i used to be free
when i knew how to fly
all my consistency's
burnt to the ground
and i've built these walls up
just to drown

holliesikes