i took a shortcut out of the valley
i really thought i could let it all go
i smoked a cigarette out in the alley
i felt the stars burn bright in my throat
all of my friends are in love with each other
less like they're sisters and more like they're lovers
i smoked a cigarette out in the dark
put it out on my skin and stared at the mark

if all that i'd done 
had to flame out by 21
guess i'm stuck in the smoke
breathing hard behind this bar that's falling apart

if you were an angel you wouldn't deserve me
if you were a mountain lion i bet you would hurt me
if i was an angel i wouldn't deserve you
i'm not your animal but i know i'll hurt you

if all that i'd done
had to flame out by 21
guess i'm stuck in the smoke
skipping stones in my head
no i don't hate myself
not like how i used to
but now it's an empty shelf
poured the liquor on my shoes
because i wanted you

a cigarette

giving me a sign and i wanna take it
if i ask you to be mine would you care or fake it
don't wanna give my world just for you to shake it
don't wanna give my heart just for you to break it
i know what's coming
when you call i know i'll come running, but baby

i don't wanna be your conscience
i just wanna be your girl
i shouldn't have to keep you honest
i shouldn't have to change the world
all i know is i'm not happy
when i'm dancing alone
i don't wanna be your conscience
i just wanna take you home

now we're outside and the light is fading
we can do it if you want i don't mind being naked
but i've been thinking all night about the time i've wasted
been thinking all night about love suffocated
you see, i've danced onstage in bedroom halls
i've fucked some dudes taken their drugs
and in the morning light when i see clear
i don't know how i got here

i know it's stupid
when you say it, i know i'll choose it

lying in the park
neon in the dark
your hand on my heart
my hand on your heart
i want a little more
standing on the shore
thinking is it pure?
want it to be pure
you never tell me no
never let me rest
i feel like a ghost
when you get undressed
want it to be pure
need it to be pure
staring at the wall
trying not to fall

your conscience

baby these days
i'm not sure what matters
lost all my faith
in something coming after
everywhere i go
i hear the chatter
the wind through the trees
sounds just like laughter

and even though i know 
it's a trick of the light
it makes me so cold
i don't think i'm alright
i'm not alright

baby you smile
and i can't keep from crying
when you treat me good
a part of me is dying
i wish my heart was stone
don't wanna be alone
but i have no home 
either way

alright

as i walk
i carry a chain of myself
step by step
i'm taking it with me to hell
we all get lost
but i think i went too far this time
i got caught
i went beyond the party line
every sun
just wants to rise above
every girl
has a heart that years for love
we all get lost
but i took it too far this time
i got caught
i went beyond the party line
it's all i got
for thinking i could stay alive

it's not right
to live in the ice and snow
but after all
there's no place left for me to go 
where i can stay alive

i'm following the wall
i'm hoping it'll all come down someday
don't know if i can fight
don't know if i can make it right some way

stay alive

i wanna run from love
no matter what i try
when it comes from above
i hear doves cry

why do you fight for me?
i didn't ask you to
nothing that i believe
seems to apply to you
all that's inside my head
makes me wish i was dead
outside, you're baking bread
want you to hurt instead
nothing makes sense to me
i don't know what you see
i don't know what you see
think you see right through me
and i wanna run from love

i wanna run from love
if it's the last i do
no one taught me what's enough
or what the fuck i'm supposed to do

if i was wiser, then
i would stop pretending
i would let my dreams go
i'd cancel all my shows
because love is a poison dart
love is a broken heart
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark
love is a sun gone dark

don't care about it now
i wanna run from love

run from love

gimme water
i need to calm my body down
pour me another
baby i can't seem to figure out
how we got here
when the steam cleared
all you wanted was just a little piece of my mind
in a second
i can sense it
we'll be on another level in another light

so gimme water
i'm so thirsty for your love babe
come on get on it
i'm waiting for you
when will you give me what i crave
water

gimme water
i need to take a little time out
pour me another
i got this fire in my eyes now
can you keep up?
what's it take, love
to get you all alone with me on the floor?
in a second
i can sense it
you'll be asking me for more, more, more

water

ugly's just a feeling
and i feel it all the time
i need you to help me
accept things that are mine
there is a wall
that i can't break through
sometimes i wonder
if i shouldn't be 
free from you

ugly

if i wasn't myself
wonder if i'd be
someone's little wife
happy
and if i didn't know
what it was like
to be in love
would it be easy
because i thought it would pay
to give my love away

no one's got the right
to make me small
to turn me to stone
after all
i wanna be strong
want my mouth to be mine
instead of a curse
i can't explain
because i thought it would pay
to give my love away
loosen up my hips
tighten up my lips

but he's just another man
juggling skulls
don't let him get to you, babe
it's just another day
in a woman's skin
nothing that you can do, babe
but stand in the crowd
stare them all down

all the light that i have will die

lying in the grass
looking up at the clouds
falling into blue
but i'm thinking about
how i thought it would work
to let myself be hurt
get closer to the earth
nestle in the dirt

but it's just another man
juggling skulls
don't let it get to you, babe
it's just another day
in a woman's skin
nothing that you can do, babe
because when you want something
you feel it aching
it comes at you sideways
it leaves you waiting
with all the light takes
and all the leaves shake
and all the earth quakes
and all the world makes of a girl
who wanted it all
yells in the crowd
tears the wall down

all the light

give me water
i need to calm my body down
pour me another
baby, i can't seem to figure out
how we got here
when the steam cleared
all you wanted was just a little piece of my mind
in a second
i can sense it
we'll be on another level, in another light

so give me water
i'm so thirsty for your love, baby
come on, get on it
i'm waiting for you, when will you give me what i crave
water

give me water
i need to take a little time out
pour me another
i've got this fire in my eyes now
can you keep up?
what's it take, love
to get you all alone with me on the floor?
in a second
i can sense it
you'll be asking me for more

Water

my mama gave me eyes to see through everything
daddy gave me his smile to help me through the pain
it's taken too much time to bring me out the dark
when you go it alone, you forget what it's worth
i've been trying to fight the shadow that's inside
but a dog will bite and darkness overrides
i've been trying to jump the waves that come to shore
but everytime i fly, i want to fall more and more

and i think of all the time spent
believing it was nothing
believing i could swim against a rising tide
i think of how you owned me
i think of how it could be
if i was the one who could make it right

it's only pain i feel, and i know it won't last
it's only change inside that keeps me in the past
i painted streets at night with tears and liquid dreams
but when i felt the light, it wasn't what it seemed

and i think of all the time spent
believing i was nothing
believing i could swim in your rising tide
i think of how you owned me
i think of who you could be
if you would take the time to make it right

no one's perfect
but you deserve it
when i take you down
i'm left standing
on our land
and now it's a ghost town
take your memories
take your money
feed it to the dark
if you want me
good luck to you
drowning in black tar

Make It Right

bedroom pop princess, elf in exile

outtakes at ultraxheal.tumblr.com

leah angel