pill friends cover

☆☆☆☆☆

nicole will you carry my bible
its dragging me down
and i cannot swim above this ground
my head is numb my lungs are shot
i am something you could do without

so forget me
ill fade away
but when im gone
devour me

nicole yr face is dying before my eyes
and through the breath of my own lies
ill wipe the blood from yr tears
through yr pointless suffering

https://youtu.be/IPbMSCBT8V0

forget me

she said its the past
its alright to say goodbye
to everyone that you knew at sometime
sixteen and seventeen
yr almost there
i see the light coming
are you scared 

faces forgotten 
but ill never get the name
out i dont know who to blame
say im in the wrong
and ill say yr always right
when i am nothing
ill fade from yr light

i will be yr last memory of the world before it ends

hibernating in my grave
wasted time and wasted days
cant get back my time
now im on the line

hibernate demo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNFff04OSvw&ab_channel=cvtmylosses

and we said
and we thought
it could never happen to you
and i said
and we thought
it could never happen to me
break my flesh
breathe my blood
fill my lungs
and become one
all of you
is all of us 
together with foreign hearts
i feel like jesus on the couch
i feel like jesus on your couch
im doing nothing
im wasting my time
im doing something
im wasting my mind
away 
so far away
dont know what i want to say
cutting 1995
i feel like jesus
im still alive
cutting 1995
cutting 1995

cutting1995

im getting high
stuck in my room
i see myself
inside of you
it eats away
and burns my flesh
but i
can settle for less
settle for less
the rain cant wash away
all of those things that you dont say
and now
you feel no pain
but you
like it that way
like it that way

settle for less (1997)

https://youtu.be/Jxv1ME1nCnI?si=Z0CJ_vtqu_T5Nwv_

cut off my hands
send me to hell
theres not one thing
that i wanna do
what happened to you
what happened to me
light and love
tightened hugs
tell yr friends
the ones above
that youll be coming 
home soon enough
simple light
will hold you tight
and all the ones
that treat you right
simple light
will hold you tight
in every corner of the night
yr the simple light
of my life

2007-2022

simple light

lying down now
on yr floor
taking pills now
with yr best friend

https://youtu.be/ltloBrEvSjQ?si=0oHJ_qlQ5jD7azpt

nobodies

i cant
sleep at
night anymore
nightmares
haunt me
too scared to dream
burning in my head
can never go away
its the kind of tired
that sleep could never fix
its the kind of tired
that sleep could never fix

barred

i close my eyes
to watch my heart
as it dies
no one can hurt me
as much as you do
those lies you told me
they were all true
the blood is pouring
the memories of you few
my love for you
seemed so new
the light is dimming
your words echo through my head
said you never loved me
i was merely your friend
as i slit my wrists
i feel no pain
for at this moment
i do not feel sane
the life without you
was more than i could take
the blood is pouring
the memories of you few
my love for you
seemed so new
the light is dimming
your words echo through my head
said you never loved me
i was merely your friend

bleeding

i want to know
those things you say
i know i just can't
find out this way
if we could have a chance
oh yeah
but i'm distracted
by these thoughts of a romance
if you could know
how far you glow
if you could stay
no way no way
no way no way
i know you've got it
out for me
i know exactly
what you're thinking
you think you know me
you're dreaming
you think you know me
you're dreaming

got it out for me

https://open.spotify.com/track/2wTD6tUX59NwkvfGPGopbf?si=c647d95c90df4079

i know i'm nothing
but it's you i need
unto i bleed
in an embrace
until i'm free
i see your face
in every mirror
reflections of unease
there must be something
that i'm missing
i don't feel whole
out of my control
i set my price up for the stars
and prayed that i could fall twice as hard
if only you could see
the things i keep inside of me i
think all my troubles could just
fade away
if only you could see
the things i keep inside of me i
think all my troubles could just
fade away
away

stuck in a world of dreams i hate

into purgatory

bloody ritual
i wanna be born anew
i wanna shed my skin
i wanna know
what you
see
feel
touch
hear
know
till i cant
stay here another day
i dont wanna be here anymore
i wanna shed my skin
i wanna shed my skin

Bloodyritual

im not going home
im not going home
im not going home
im not going home
i dont wanna think about it
i dont ever wanna think
nothing nothing
nothing on my mind
i dont wanna think
i dont never wanna think about
think about you no
now im cool
and im so alone
i know
im not coming home
ooo ooooooaghhh


dontwannathink

yeahhh
i’m going to the mall
i wanna shred em all
i wanna watch em fall
i’m going to the mall
not here to make new friends 
not here to make amends
just want this shit to end
just want this shit to end
i wanna shred em all
i wanna watch em fall
i’m going to the mall
i’m going to the mall
i wanna watch them fall
i wanna shred em all
i wanna shred em all
i wanna watch em fall
i’m going to the mall
i wanna shred em all
i wanna watch em fall
i’m going to the mall
not here to make new friends 
not here to make amends
just want this shit to end
just want this shit to end
i wanna shred em all
i wanna watch em fall

shred em all

black out the sun 
and bleach my eyes 
im not the one 
to fantasize 
i dream all day
lie in plain sight 
here comes the truth 
pouring out in a sigh
faint cry ring out
tear it all down
bring what you sow
right back around 
swing in a circle 
pass out on a cloud
seven trials seven curses
i reject my flesh 
i reject my flesh
for something greater
i reject my flesh
meet my maker
you were made
in the image of stars
i was made
birthed and earthed scarred

https://youtu.be/xFqUZrqsmC8

Nerevarine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWXqICblpp4

i’m coming down again
let me hold onto yr eyes
for one last time
yr coming down again 
dig yr nails as deep as you 
can into my skinnn
we’re coming down again let
numbness overtake me all
let silence be the curtain call
nothing but cheap thrills 
i could swallow every pill
in your room but i still 
would be the one in withdrawal

trailer trash / xanax crash

dreameater
destroyer of worlds
take me from this plane
take me from my pain 
when i awake
i cant remember my name
remember this is a game
binded to my bedframe
all i ever wanted was escape
from this sense of shame

Dreameater

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al2_SWc8eJk&ab_channel=cvtmylosses

in a parking lot a body drops 
my lungs give out 
in the end i guess i cared a lot more about it than you but i could never show it because to hide it is to own it
i wanna get fucked up again 
i wanna hang out with some dead friends 
everyone wants to talk about it 
but when does the fucking pain end 
everyone here is dead
and my eyes are still red
from the night from the night 
from three nights before 
from three nights before
can we hide here forever 
i remember this face of sin
i remember again
in a dream everything was shown to me
i rose i cried we bred we died
the truth was written in her eyes 
i feel your heavy gaze 
in the back of my mind 
it weighs on me every day
i feel your gaze in the back of my mind
and i’m so caught up on
everything that was never done
that was never done
that was never done
that was never done
there’s no need to tell me
i know that i lost the one

skeleton

https://youtu.be/vuVcDoR_jbs?si=O5E0IqdG54wYFM0f

i know just where im going
im gonna try for the kingdom if i can 
cuz you know it makes me feel like im a man
when i put the spike into my vein
then you know that things arent quite the same
when im rushing on my run
and i feel jesus son
and i guess that i just dont know
and i guess i just dont know
i have made a big decision
im gonna nullify my life
cuz when the blood begins to flow
when it squirts up the droppers neck
when the smack goes into my blood
and im closing in on death
and my head begins to flow
you cant help me not you girls
with all your talk you can all go take a walk
and i guess i just dont know
i wish that i lived a hundred years ago
that i sailed the darkened seas
on a great big clipper ship
from this land to here and that
in a sailor suit and cap
away from the big city
where a man cannot be free
from all of the evils of this town
of himself and those around
i wish i traveled all around
and i guess i just dont know
and i guess i just dont know
and i guess i just dont know
and i guess i just dont care
heroin be the death of me
its my wife and its my life
cuz i main it through my vein
leads to a center in my head
and im better off than dead
when that smack begins to flow
then i really dont care anymore
about all the weirdos in this town
all the politicians putting people down
all the animals making crazy sounds
dead bodies piled up in fucking mounds
oh thank you thank you god thank god oh thank your god
thank your god that im gone that im gone that
i dont care anymore i dont care anymore

heroin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWXqICblpp4

it's no wonder
got yourself to blame
don't dish it out
if you can't stomach the pain
that's what i'm here for
i'm asking for it
that's what you're here for
don't you forget it
you don't wanna think about it
but you do all the time
i don't wanna make you sad
but i'm gonna make you cry
you don't wanna fucking know
all the words that i wrote
i don't wanna think about it
but i do all the time
i don't wanna make you sad
but i'm gonna make you cry
you don't wanna fucking know
you don't wanna fucking know

crashing into place

more of a point

no point in talking
get to walking
hit the door or the floor
it's what you make it
so i'll take it all
but i want some more
i'll build you up again
break it all down with a grin
i'm feeling something baby
but i got nothing within
yeah i'm an asshole
i'm a prick
it really ain't hard to tell
blow yr whistle baby
but i'm casting all of my spells
do you know what hell feels like
i can show you it all
from the edge of a knife yeah
do you know if it'll ever be right
you can break all my bones
but you can't take my life away
feed it to the crows
you reap what you fucking sow
close yr eyes make a wish
blow me away
i don't want yr flowers
or yr lies
i don't want yr whispers
in the night

to the crows

improvised

faithful replica
image ive seen before
two weeks from tomorrow
sending letters to yr door
rewrite the history in yr head
wont matter much when yr dead
cant do things differently
if you tried
takes one to know one
might as well die
i dont know how to act
its something in my head
forever we go on
thats just the way it is
ill be back in time
but ill be back in time
love love love love love
it gives me meaning
the life we lost
you know you gave it meaning
on a nowhere road
nowhere to be found

faithful replica

improvised

https://youtu.be/ciiKy4oduiQ?si=6e5UqoG6Xodw0hlO

i know that you got a thing for me
but i know that i bring nothing but grief
oh i just cant get down on my knees
no no i dont believe
i dont i dont i dont i dont
i know that you got yr eye on me
but i dont see no time i got i need
i need it bad i need it yesterday
i need it bad i need it yesterday
oh i knowww ohhh i knowww
i knowwww but i dont believe
i dont believe
i dont believe
i dont believe
i dont believe
i dont believe in that oh no

dont believe

my bad

https://youtu.be/1Ua-c0sRwGA?si=ZF66MnBT3cMCFCUN
i dont wanna talk much 
its hard for me to get the words out
one day i learned it was better not to try
im not that mad i knew it was a lie
like all those things you tell yrself 
day in and day out
like all those things you say
i just cant get em out
i cant help myself
i dont know where to begin
i cant help myself
breaking all thats within
help me make it make sense
help me make it make sense
moving forward ten steps
worried about my last ten cents
help me make it make sense 
i used to be the strongest person in my world
i used to be the strongest person in the world
i used to be the strongest person in my room
i used to be i used to used to used to oh 
its time to let go 
its time to let go
time to let go 
of everything you know
just fucking let go
just fucking let go
just fucking let go

let go


i can’t save myself
(myself)
from everything that i touch
things that i’ve done
(that ive done)
oh i know that ive done so wrong
(ive done so wrong)
when i look in your eyes
(in your eyes)
ive never felt so alive
(so alive)
when i look into your eyes
ive never felt this alive
(so alive)
i kill everything that i love
(i kill everyone)
i’ve killed everyone that i loved
(i kill everything)
they’re all dead beneath my feet
(beneath my feet)
they’re all dead beneath my feet
i dry my eyes
i know the truth
(i know the truth)
i dry my eyes
goodbye to youth

killingeveryoneiiilovvve

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17k3UCwrYFM&ab_channel=cvtmylosses

https://open.spotify.com/track/3BfqMZliseKGHRWhBxjrS9?si=8fdf0b449b0f4105

oh its you again
always wanting something
what more can i give
breathe into thee
bleed into me
bleed into the arms
of yr angel
of yr beloved
act like you love it
but yr hearts not in it
yr burning
yr burning up
act like you  need it
but our hearts are seeking
something deeper 
something to clear the air
in the face of everything i know
i know nothing at all
i know nothing at all
no i cant run away
but i can try to fly
but i can try to fly
but i can try to fly

try to fly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_58efD9nrEk&ab_channel=cvtmylosses

i could have these fuckers spinning for miles
everybody needs to feel real bad once in awhile
i know a little thing or two
brush it off cuz you dont have a clue
black and swirling
i could dive in this pool
restrictions in place
an ungodly rule
the sun is up
but my mask is down
wanna be the specialest person in the room
so show me what yr made of down to yr bone
i know a little thing
maybe two
i could have you running for miles
i could have you running for the rest of yr days
the sun is up but my mask is down
the sun is up but my mask has fallen down

manikin

call out pale flesh
creeping under my skin
dying wish that i could forget about
the smell of you
it bled into my clothes and my skin
i chase it away with smoke and saltwater
endless forms pass before my eyes
i wanna feel warm
i dont wanna die
breathe in the light
i dont wanna die
breathe out new life
hearing yr cries
take me to a place 
where the sun doesnt meet the sky
what do you want from me my love
what do you want from me my love
the smell of you
it bled into my skin
what do you want from me my love
what do you want from me my love
it bled into my skin
it bled into my skin
what do you want from me my love


harm reduction

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