Name: Faireys 2024 NW Area “Variations on an Enigma” by Philip Sparke by Iain David Culross
Duration: 15 min 7 s
Description: KNDS Fairey Band’s NW Area runner-up performance of “Variations on an Enigma” by Philip Sparke. 25/02/2024

I met a fox last night who was carrying a dead possum.
Foxes, unlike possums, are not native to Australia,
but neither are white people so no judgement.
I got here the same way she did.
Her ancestors came here because rich Englishmen wanted to have fox hunts in the bush,
mine came here because rich Englishmen wanted a distant prison colony.
We are all where we are on this planet because of the dances our ancestors did
with rich Englishmen
and native possums.

I walk on stolen land under a sun that burns my pale skin,
ripping the dead ideas of dead men out from my skull like thorns.
If you ever need to find me just look for the trail
of rosary beads and communion wafers,
of Murdoch papers and nice guy rapists.
If I am dead when you find me please weave fairy lights through my bones
and leave a sign that reads HERE LIES EMPTINESS.
Maybe lizards and frogs will play in this ribcage.
Maybe native flowers will grow in this skull.

I don't know what any of this is or where any of it is going.
I'm blown through this horny graveyard party like a dandelion seed in the wind.
The old crone told me cosmic joy would cost me everything,
but when I paid her she showed me the money was only leaves.

I accidentally scared the fox off by flicking on the porch light,
causing her to drop her dinner in her haste to escape.
I switched the light off and waited in the dark for her to reclaim her prize,
which she eventually did,
slinking off into the night with the possum.

"I'll see you around,"
I said to the both of them.

Fruit bats passed overhead.

_______________

Reading by Caitlin Johnstone.

The Fox

Merak - Snippet [drone/abstract]

Hello, this is your phone speaking. I just wanted to say that it's real nice and cosy inside your pocket. I bet you thought I'd say it stinks of coins and thighs, but that's just your inner critic trying to trip you up again. You're your own worst enemy, when you gotta be your own biggest cheerleader, cos there aint anyone else around here who's gonna do it, except for maybe your housekeys.

Hello this is your housekeys. Gimme a Y. Gimme a O. Gimme a U. That's spells YOU. As in YOU are amazing. Thanks for putting me in your pocket with your phone. I'm going to ruin the GorillaGlass while I think about how brilliant you are.

In this episode, Log is a professional videogames voice actor now. Gav is offered a genuine-y boda-fide-y Blue Tick. And Steve has a coincidence happen on him.

Get ready!

cash... OUT

518: The Blue Tick Game Pitch

Lì Chéng - TPC 284 - Brazilian rap beat

Last Night Sampel Challenge 197#TPC W

Topics Include: Kraven The Hunter, 3 Body Problem, Dumb Money, Challengers, Futurama, Priscilla, Drive Away Dolls, The Man From Rome, and the need for an animators strike.

Hypecast - 06.30.2023 - Featuring Adam Tod Brown

Remember Me {Instrumental} 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒅. 𝑩𝒚 Operation O™

If you have the hiccups, here is a tried and tested method for ridding yourself of the condition, cited by over one hundred old wives.

1. Stand on a railway arch
2. Listen to episode 548 of Regular Features
3. Marvel at Joe's loving obliteration of The Americans
4. Quickly write down the URL of Steve's new favourite charity
5. Stifle a gasp at Log's many confessions
6. Put on your squirrel suit and jump

Your hiccups will be gone because you didn't practice squirrel suiting and are at LEAST maimed.

Give us massive cheque

548: The Wretched Tale of the Cuckoo Bee

SciFiSky
Song: "Banners on the Shore"
Album: Spontaneity / Live Recordings: 6th Session - May 2018

At long last, we have finally uploaded our sixth and most recent jam session. This is the most dynamically diverse and highest quality of our spontaneous albums thus far. Ranging from distorted electric guitars alongside synths and pounding drums, to hypnotic ambient washes with pulsating brushed drums atop synth pads, to stripped-down, raw acoustic tracks consisting merely of two guitars, this session consists of both improvised jams and re-attempts at a few tracks that we previously devised during past sessions.

Recorded live at home in a converted garage by Jonathan Carey (guitar) and Evan Witkowski (drums, keys, drum machine, percussion).

Photography / Album Art by SciFiSky

SciFiSky 2018

Spontaneity / Live Recordings: 6th Assembly - May 2018

60 Banners on the Shore (Live Spontaneous Jam)

Oh, don't go into that cupboard. Don't you dare open *that* cupboard. You won't like what we keep in *that* one. Oh no, no, no. That's where we keep the features. You oughtn't spill any of those. What if you got Joe's impression of Ronnie O'Sullivan all down the lino? What if you drank a bit of Gav's journeys with a confusing taxi driver? And what if Log got out? He might tell you about a horrible time in a gym!

Oh goodness no, close that cupboard now and don't think about it for a second longer. Have a plum. That'll calm you down.

Locker image: “open 19”, by Rupert Ganzer, licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 DEED

coin for locker?

549: Ronnie's Floridian Locker Disaster

KNDS Fairey Band’s NW Area runner-up performance of “Variations on an Enigma” by Philip Sparke. 25/02/2024

Faireys 2024 NW Area “Variations on an Enigma” by Philip Sparke

Iain David Culross

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