i just found out about this cover after my comment on moldy peaches :D nice!

lyrics:
coming to terms with dying alone
mindless lobotomy staring at phone
after having a life that is empty at most
brain damaged parasite seeking a host
i have 22 years worth of baggage you see
and nobody can carry such deadweight for me
im expendable   surely im great for the good
but the bad is so bad that it ruins the mood
exploding head syndrome is always a blast
and i bend over backwards and land on my ass
which is always the issue thats holding me back
making excuses for people who treat me like crap
so id stay home from school but now school is at home
so i lay in my bed all day browsing my phone
neurodivergency eating my time
wasting my life being online

down at rock bottom , midlife crisis coming soon
throwing me out from a plane with no parachute
i have no plans for my life and nothing to do
nothing to do
down in the gutter, surrounded by sewage drains
stinking up everything till i relapse again
rock bottom doesn’t feel so different from my bed
so i guess

coming to terms with my spinstery self
is less of a shame spiral more like accept
so i’ll just live as a vampire suck out the fun
of every person who thinks im the one
i dont like to imagine the future at all
but maybe without all the trouble of love
i’d be fine on my own drinking blood from a bag
500 years old and still just as sad
so the futures abhorrent , and the past is a pain
and the present is empty and boring and lame
homemade brain tumor eating my skull
gnawing and gnashing head empty no thoughts
and livings repetitive  lifes just a bust
everythings relative  i am just dust
just the bug you brush of your ear
singing my songs that nobody hears
down at rock bottom , midlife crisis come again
throwing me out from a roof with no working brain
i have no goals for my life and nothing to say 
nothing to say
down in the gutter, surrounded by rusty pipes
falling asleep in the shitwater overnight
from shit i have come and to shit i’ll return thats  fine
thats fine

Rock Bottom

lyrics:
finally quitting nicotine after almost 6 years ive been
sucking down the gasoline lighting up my lungs and feeling
hollowed out  and thrown away living like a rat
and ive been trying to take care of myself  but im no good at that
ive watched all of my dvds and listened to the same songs on repeat and ive been crying more than usual and talking in my sleep
 and ive been neglecting my diary and favoring my phone , and playing new horizons daily cus i cannot leave my home
yeah I’ve been talking to my doctor and psychiatrist and shrink and ive been cleaning up my messes and then messing up again
and ive been reaching out in blindness just to grab somebodys hand and weirdly reaching bottom just to crawl back up again

hadnt rly pictured getting better but i have and i am
just as shocked as grateful tho i know it doesnt last forever 
maybe dealing with the ups and down  is crucial to exist
forgive myself for all those years i feel like i have missed?

holding onto hope onto hope
that the person i was once would be proud of the me thats not doing this alone
anymore anymore 
independancys a bore
reaching out is not a bandaid its a part of growing up

my shrink thinks i have tendencies to believe all the negatives
my brain is always feeding me, and over-sharing actually keeps
me from real vulnerability , and i just let it power me
a puppet to a lifetime of survivors muscle memory
so what if internalise and get depressive and go into
hiding   almost paralysed by this overwhelming urge
to just give up and sleep forever
just give up on getting better
but i am too stubborn to stand down and give up so i betcha

even if im tired even if my feet are sore that i will
walk this spiky road with much more passion than before
maybe getting blisters is a part of moving on
accept myself for all the things i feel like I’ve done wrong?

holding onto past onto past
is the thing holding me back gotta keep keeping on write an awful lot of songs
make some sense of this brain thats been keeping me away
from the things that i want
moving on and growing up
growing up growing up
is the next upcoming stop in this path that i took, tho its scary it is good
letting go,  getting well felt so far away but then
i became someone else  and im braver than back then

Holding Onto Hope

Love Me Dead (Ludo cover)

Anyone Else But You (cover by blood girl and tankboy)

dont give up -demo

lyrics:
stuffs weird right now my brain and i 
are taking a tiny break
how friendships die and how doctors lie
and theres no more art to make

i collect a lot  cus i feel sad a lot
and maybe hoarding is ok
and copings often bad but so is killing yourself
and im surviving so everythings is great

every bag  of trash  every box and stash
makes me overwhelmed and cry
like a rock i found  that makes a special sound
just makes me wanna die now

and i was almost fine but now im not alright
and i dont know what happened there
but summer came around and hit me like a pow
and happy all but dissapeared 

now im me again  just your tired friend
just a blood girl with a frown
i promise im ok and if im not i will be
after all i am your clown

Copings Often Bad

Life In Vain by Daniel Johnston (cover by Blood Girl)

lyrics:

tired of seeing my own face
hearing my own songs
spending my own days
tired of always doing everything
doing it for everyone 
with nothing to say

i can’t feel things
i’m just tired
i’m lonely and i’m tired
i feel like i am 15 again
with expirary dates on my friendships
sorta just wasting time alone

why is it that just because i am depressed
i have to feel totally disconnected from my friends
being alone is healthy  sometimes
but i isolate myself then i wanna die

why is it that just because i’m empathetic
people feel like they can fucking forget me
i am needy too,  desperate for love
im sensitive and broken and depend on other people a lot

i cant always be strong
i cant always be tough
i've learned that no matter how bad im feeling
its never bad enough

tired of seeing my own face
hearing my own voice
following my own pace
tired of always giving second chances
third and fourth chances
to everyone

i’m hurt too
i’m tired
and hurt too and i’m tired
i feel like i’m 11 again   
accepting life means isolation
means you just keep to yourself

why is it that i dont know myself
that used to be the only thing i knew well
being depressed is bad
sometimes
but it also makes me look at all the things i dont do right

like feeling that i’m the one
whos supposed to carry everyone i love
im  a fucking idiot too
i’m not always great
i just want somebody to hold me and tell me i’m ok

i cant always be good
i can’t always hold on
i’ve learned that no matter how shitty someone is they’re never shitty enough

Shitty Enuff

lyrics:
and even if i am depressive can i still live a life?
if a depressive personality is just chronic demise
if im talking to a doctor i always feel like i should lie
if i can’t get well i might as well be the sickest one alive

can i love you even though im clearly mental
even tho you’re probably definitely better off alone 
if you love me can u promise to be patient and to be gentle?
cus the road to being vulnerable is paved with broken bones

my borderline is telling me to freak out
my avoidant tells  me  to avoid the mess
my depression tells me sleep it off till next year
and my ocd repeats it all again again again

i am sick enough for 50 minutes once a week
yet this is the first time i’ve actually liked my shrink
i am sick enough for it to affect everything
how i talk and how i act and how i think

no hands no chance
really was the truth! 
i should’ve known by 17 i would never be like you    cus 
no brain no pain
and i yearn for that for me
a life without thinking without doubting everything
no hands no chance!
and with these tiny stumps  
i’ll play music sing until i have no air in my lungs
no brain no pain
yeah but no brain no songs  
so i’ll just keep on playing keep on singing till im gone

No Hands No Chance

lyrics:

just because i survived 
doesnt make me stronger
i dont feel like a survivor
i feel like frankensteins monster
artificially alive
with shackles stapled to my ankles
carrying weights that aren’t mine
with a body torn and tangled

i am still alive just like a cockroach
hiding underneath your sink
i survived but not on purpose
and what do i have to show for it?
a repertoire of sorry songs
and calloused fingers playing chords
i write and write with no prevail

i have a backpack full of rocks but all the rocks build up in time
and whilst i know their mine to carry , they were never really mine
i have to bear your heavy burden, have to bear it and survive
but god i can’t keep pushing rocks up hills when they keep rolling down

so im staying in my dirt hole
like an ostrich saving face
leave my tossed out dirty clothes around
like a makeshift bed
and if i curl up in the corner
to cry until i sleep
that’ll be another question
i’ll avoid and then repeat

not saving myself for anyone
im saving you from me
cus im as toxic as a wasteland
and as awful as can be
im like candy good in portions
but ill carve holes in your teeth
and ill smother all your organs
till you grow tired of me

i have a chain that jinge jangles all the way home to my bed
and if my bodys scarred and mangled that means im making progress
i know moving on will hurt and holy fuck it hurts like hell
but god i can’t push rocks up hills without hurting myself

Hurting Myself

lyrics:
im 22 soon and time is a line
so i cannot go back  still im too far behind
im like watching everyone move upwards and leave
and im still on the ground floor and can’t move my feet
i am too grown up to ask for ur help
but i am too child like to do it myself
so if i can’t do anything what can i do?
except sleep all day long to not think about all of this 

who 
am i now since you threw me away?
i was a bandaid like i was back then 
im never enough so 
i’ll do what you asked
and i’ll move on
i’ll do my best
to de-attach

and if im 22 soon i cannot be ur kid
and my peers are grown ups 
and i feel like shit
how can anyone grow up 
and just turn out good
if i just had a chance
maybe i could’ve too

theres no future ahead of me
no 5 years from now
if i try to imagine it
i start to cry
i do my best to vision it
but all that i see
is a blank piece of paper
a black empty screen

Time Is A Line

Hello. I am Blood Girl! 
I am a 24 year old nonbinary creature that sings about sadness and bettering

Anyone Else But You (cover by blood girl and tankboy)

Blood Girl

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