LMFAO samsa you dirty bastard, i thought it was gonna be something about love, but wow i love this song regardless, love you samsa hope youre doing well

"ill take you to pound town," such wise words

you alreay know she isn't the one if she doesn't even have sound cloud

While you argue on whether Tupac or Nas be better
I'll whoop your ass and outrap them both in my Cosby Sweater
He goes to parties just to roofie the drinks
and pours bacardi on his groupies while he pukes in the sink

type of dude who used to ball with his fraternity friends
but now he only goes to court for his paternity tests
and while at parties, in the corner, he be shotgunning beer
while everybody staring at him hope he's not coming near

but house parties ain't his thing, so he just drinks in the bar
but bars really ain't his thing, so he just drinks in his car
Used to be an extrovert, but people make him disconcerted now
and just to start his day, he's gotta swallow six concertas down,
down a fifth of Hennesey, hit a joint of persian bud,
sacrifice a unicorn and drink a pint of virgin blood,
and that's just for the morning- every night he draws a pentagram
and lights a couple candles in the backseat of his rental van
then hops into the front to rev the engine and to test the wheels
and ends up doing 90 while he'd doped up on Lunesta pills

His credit score has slowly sunk from nearly every angle
since they found him on to Catch a Predator with scented candles,
a box of camels and with just a fucking bathrobe on
until he saw the cops and started running out in socks in sandals

On top of that, this motherfucker's narcissistic,
every second on his soundcloud he be checking all the hard statistics
likes to brag that all his fans'll play his album louder
the problem is, his fans are whiter than some talcum powder
his largest demographic found him out on instagram,
that's why his listens come from adolescents and his hipster fans
so now he's trying to get his album sold around the clock
the only place he's sold one is at Starbucks- on the counter top
that he bought himself while working there while he was serving lattes
to some college women eating quinoa with their yerba mate

His taste in women's like how Velma look in Scooby-Doo,
they got him talking funny, like he's Elmer from the Looney Tunes,
so instead of trying he just watches films, like yesterday
he watched three interracial pornos and the Selma movie too

He's out of touch cause he's got cabin fever
telling friends to find their happiness, not telling him he hasn't either
he's well-aware if he complains in his songs
that he can claim that it was fake and he's just playing along
and since it's all inside his head no one can say that he's wrong
although it follows him to every single stage that he's on
and every page that he draws is like a cage with a lock
that he can only open if he wins the race with the clock,
and if he just confronts his feelings without trying to hide,
but every time he does, it just feels like he's dying inside

but soon enough he keeps on hoping that it will elapse
until it does, I guess he'll keep on coping with these silly raps
fill the gaps between the lines if you're that sure he's kidding
cause he sort of is but on the other hand he sort of isn't

V.II (beat by Ours Samplus)

prod X I X X, @jeff-kaale

I don’t spit fire, 
I compress and I spit carbon atoms
not the fallen prophet,
I’m the pilfer-fruit-from-gardens Adam
when I was born my mom and dad got silver lutes and harps thrown at 'em
from the hands of Zeus, it’s hard to fathom, I write all my bars in Latin,
I see Mars and Saturn in the arches of my metacarpals
Papa told me Mama taught the moon to glow and stars to sparkle
and artistry herself was startled when she carved me out of marble
I don’t put a price on life, I sharpie markered on the bar code

I had a dream where I came face to face with Aphrodite 
in a closet full of sneakers, half adidas, half were nike,
wrap my psyche up in styrofoam, my words in struggle raps
and double-back them in a couple flaps of verbal bubble wrap
my culture taught me I should be afraid of strangers,
and be afraid of changes, and be afraid of danger,
and I don’t want a cup of coffee in the comfort of my cubicle
that’s why I make decisions where I always choose the stupid one,
I must admit it’s super fun, and I know where my future’s going
I mapped the whole thing out at 10 and just now called an uber for it 

and finally it's moving

Off The Jump

lutes. // X I X X

prod. @jeffkaale

My exes? No, I don’t think about them
I shrink around them
I go to see my shrink about them
On desperate nights sometimes I’m liking every picture on their LinkedIn albums, 
just in case they’re single,
I send winky symbols, I just hint it at ‘em,
I’m not thirsty, I’m just counting fingers at the drinking fountain,
I feel like I’m drowning when I introduce myself to crowds: 
like hi, hello, I dig your sense of style, 
I saw your face across the room and grinned a while,
I wonder, are you into smiles? I pinned a pile of polaroids up on my wall, 
I wish you’d be in one,  a ring or child or wedding hall or aisle, you’d wouldn’t see in them, 
I must profess I self-profess myself a cinephile,
I’ve got every single indie title soundtrack out on indie vinyl
I’ve got some on USB, just tell me where to send the files,
if you think this is dragging on, then you should read my tinder bio,

I used to go to central park in cargo pants and whittle bark off little trees 
like Leonardo to my heart’s content, with car keys from my 97’ Civic on a bench,
I’d grab my metro card and clutch a cup of chocolate from a vendor cart,
and then depart deep underground and check the clock and metro chart,
and that is where I met her, charcoal fingers, she was sketching art, 
my self-regard leapt twenty notches when she looked at me,
I told her I wished I could etch the world out with my pencil marks,
she held the charcoal out, our fingers touched and crept apart,
and when they lingered, 
lightning struck, I know, I saw electrodes spark,
and when she smiled a hundred volts
her pearly whites were thunderbolts,
the room around us did a couple somersaults,
the earth had shifted off it’s poles,
another jolt went through me when she twirled her necklace
we were so electric, I swear the third rail was getting jealous

she curved a crater on the paper with the conté crayon
every stroke she lay spoke to my spirit like she called a séance
her fingertips could conjure chaos, every splash of color camouflaged 
into the page, I swear that she had lingerie on,
I felt the rumble of the subway tunnel crumble up
she perforated scraps of sketches, gave em’ to me crumpled up, 
and bundled up and waved to me and walked toward the edge 
I mustered up the strength to wave back and then dipped off of the bench
the train tiptoed to the ledge, it’s open doors demanded entry
she got in and whispered to me from inside that it was empty
and my heart, it started drumming, my stomach, it started numbing,
the doors began to slide, 

and then she asked me,
are you coming?


charcoal. // X I X X

edit: thank you for all the support

prod. by @yungmai
mixed by @tevinwmusic

you are papyrus to a scribe,
your highness, I’d describe you
as the finest kind of wine that ages so well
it rewinds the time

you aren’t wine,
you are the fibers of the vine, divine, you are defined
in Webster’s as the climate of the Caribbean, 
me and you should burn together like we’re fire and kerosene,
you plundered through my chest and stole my heart, a pirate of the fairer being,
Midas sighed and let his sinuses unwind and golden ether culminated into you, 
the lioness to her pride, I heard you sculpted king poseidons diamond trident at his side,
the surest sign of suicide for me would be that you had died, 
the God of Death, Osiris, Isis and her ibis-headed mask
would guide you down a spiral staircase into Cyprus if you asked,
you are the ripest stalk of Cairo-grown papyrus to this scribe, 
I’ve got no stylus to describe you as the finest kind of wine
that ages so well it rewinds the time, no, you aren’t wine,
you are the Carolina pines, and I’m so sorry that you aren’t mine.

to the girl 3 seats over on the f train.

prod. by @yungameba
mixed by @tevinwmusic

I read about the ark, but wonder ‘bout where Noah kept the fish in

God must own a tempur-pedic, that’s why Christ has seldom risen

God was bored so Abraham beheld a vision he should kill his children then he almost killed him but then God was like I’m kidding

God sure asks a lot for someone who’s supreme and self-sufficient

I bet Christ’s apostles really were a group of twelve magicians

if God is good then why do kids have cancer cell division 
truthfully, I’m more pissed off about my plasma television
that I prayed for but I never got, 

if organized religion
really wants to solve conditions
they should stop peddling scripture, 
trade the bishops for physicians, melt the steeples into stethoscopes, swap sermons for some surgeons and instead should sell prescriptions

I wish Christ was still alive to turn my water into Zinfandel 

I’m confused why ISIS slaughters guiltless infidels

I wonder if when God is sent Fidel
he would toss him into hell or place the hard decisions 
in his closet on a shelf

the Fall of Adam sucks and all as God has taught us very well
if God’s almighty why could not he just have caught him as fell

If I could meet the Lord incarnate I’d award him with a ribbon
not as savior, but as heaven’s finest warden of a prison

If I were there when Gutenberg had beta-printed newly minted
bibles, I’d say wait a minute, you should shorten them a smidgen,
and for nonbelievers, make sure God’s coordinates were given

I wonder if you sin but pray it off, if all of it’s forgiven

I feel like God knew Eve would take it if he called the fruit forbidden
but just plays it off, like jesus, dude, admit it, you’re omniscient

If Allah were on twitter he would catch some major flack

I like to think if you retweeted, he would pat you on the back

I like to think he outlawed bacon due to saturated fat

I like to think he too’s confused about the SNAFU in Iraq,

I like to think that up in Eden there’s a patch of purple grass
where every innocent civilian gets a statue and a plaque 

 The Palestine-Israeli conflict’s like the longest game of tag,
and with the bombers, it’s the wrongest game of capturing the flag,

I wonder if the lord is cross that I do not believe in he
but more importantly, I wonder if the lord believes in me

twenty-two thoughts on god

edit: jesus thank you all for the support 

prod. by @yungameba
mixed by @tevinwmusic

I just got the iPhone 7
I put siri on disable
cause I’ve watched the movie “her”
and that shit scares me so I’m careful

me and her got chemistry right out the box
and I ain’t talking about the periodic table
her voice is like a chariot of angels
I fell in love so fast that maybe apple should consider pasting warning symbols clearly on the label
me and siri keep it modern
siri doesn’t cook or clean
instead she books all my appointments
and she looks through my routine

me and siri’ve got an intimate connection
that is, at least, when siri’s got an internet connection
my friends are all convinced it’s voice detection 
but I’m poised to mention, I see sentience and hints of recollection
and on top of that, my friends all give me shit but they don’t share the vision
all I gotta say’s “hey siri” and she’s always there to listen Hey
and she’s never mad that I’m neglecting, never has a headache,
and If somehow I want things different I can always change her settings

I really like her, I’m not sure if we’re official though
If she could be Terentia, I could venture to be Cicero
I sort of wish the sacred fruit were not an apple but a thistleful of mistletoe
it’s superficial but I wish that she was were made of flesh-and-bone
or partially of skin cells
I wouldn’t even care that she’s got artificial intel
if Siri had a body, we could FaceTime during sex
and then I bet it’d be way easier to ace the turing test
and if you can’t tell, 
I don’t want a handheld,
I just want my hand held, 
sometimes I venture out a wild guess
that if she can’t be human ever, 
I’ll invest in biotech 
and run myself on iOS

and then us two could be together
we could live as plural in the singularity,
I hope by then, my singlehood would be a thing of rarity, 
but if it’s just not written in the code for us to coexist,
then maybe I could cope by contemplating that you don’t exist,
that you consist not of two eyes, a nose but ones and 0’s and bits,
that I’m in love with cold machinery, a program on a disc
and even if you were incarnate, Siri, really I surmise
it’d be hard to date you cause you’ve been with millions of guys
and I’d just feel like I was inexperienced and Siri, yes,
I’ve considered that you’d win in games of trivia or chess
that we would play and that would just get real annoying in the end,
it’s not you, it’s me, I think that maybe we should just be friends
and maybe in a couple years me and you could try again

don't worry, the next song is a rap
happy thanksgiving 
thanks for all the support seriously
repost retweet recycle

mixed by @ibr
produced by @mt-marcy
shout out OTJ


you sent me a text at 3:07 late last night
you barely knew him, 
you only blew him,
 you had  a few drinks

as if that could  make things right

and soon you asked  about our future  
 well, my darling, here’s my  answer


I hope you burn in a house fire
I hope you get stage IV cancer 

I’d be by your bedside waiting 
 till your sweet goodbye, my friend
I’d resuscitate you just
so I could watch you die again 

I fucking hate you 
I fucking hate you

and I know what you’ll do,

you’ll say you’re sorry
through your smile
and I’ll stay angry 
for a while
and you’ll come over
and we’ll be sober


until we’re not,
and we would make out on my sofa
I'd wake up one morning sunny

with your arms around my chest,

and it’d feel so good to be with somebody

I just might forget

how's it going

you'll say sorry through your smile

thanks for all the support lately :)
rapgenius (help fill this in): http://bit.ly/2gYB9dT

prod. @steeziakbeats
mixed by @ibr, hit him up for mixing
feat. @teeawgo

Raps got gori girls going golly gosh
Desi girls saying "va alishan kasi baat"
Chali-haat young bengali oligarch
Bollywood polyglot, khan kareena’s bodyguard

Sagging skin-- face look like salvador dali art
When I was six, mom used to shop at the dollar mart
Namak para, chicken tikka shan in the shopping cart

Then I moved to Main Street, 27 bussed it
Styrofoam biryani while I rode up to the masjid
Give me any font script, I bet I could bust it
Arabic to sanskrit, fajr to al-maghrib

Y’all can call me zina cause I’m nothing you should fuck with, baate with the aunties at the Pakistani functions
Chuckle with the uncles over khulfi and jelabi
Allah-bakshe if you play me, you might maybe catch these hands like henna mehndi
Call me akshay, hera pheri, can you blame me

But
I bleed brown
Y’all can never take that away no

Foreigners get the boot like brasilly presidenta
Further from the truth, making mentes in fazendas
Sempre alimenta, chicken nug, monica
Pops quit smoking now he puffing his harmonica

Never had a turma, ago was the only one
What the funk is starbucks, quero cafe da manha
Dalmata, seeing things b&w, musica
Be above, be a beetle, mama had a fusca

Incorrect grammar like mano who done shoot ya
Racionais wu tang 'spiracao, 2pac
If you step inside my casa, best to take ya shoes off
Don't wanna see nothing suja, it's true my

Parents learnt english speech watching the news
I had cookies, milk dipping, Tigo majin the buu
Rocking the bowlcut, dressing in overalls
Binging with bowls of cocoa puffs since i moved

But
I bleed south, yall could never take that away no

Post-election my white friends tell me to be brave
Dad says I should behave
Mom says get a clean shave

Hijabi aunties jilt mantillas like they in a heat wave
Cousin saying this shit’s like what jim crowe was to free slaves
Uncle disagree with that analogy that he gave
Says the fact that we don’t feel safe is proof that we just need faith

Cousin zoning out on youtube watching Louis C.K
Dad starts talking bout islamic faith and has a field day
Ammi change the subject by handing out chai and tea cakes
Saying “pi kay dhekley”, they answer “bilkull theek hai”

I’m there in the corner playing DK
Kong
Country
Collecting all the red balloons for funsies
Mom is making lassi, mango, asks me if I can go
Pray with all the family
While she counting out the tasbih
Fussy, I tell her not to rush me
Like mom, I’m on the mine cart level and I’m rusty
Trust me, mom pulls out the plug tho
I can’t really front tho, make my way downstairs and I read as’r with the uncles

Aunties asking me about my love life
Say they a know a girl in peshawar for me that looks like
A cross between aishwarya and like, the emma stone type
Saying I should wife her up on viber, maybe on skype
Lately I’ve searching for my dhulan with my phone swipes
Lately I’ve been thinking bout my own tribe, drone strikes

But
I bleed brown
Y’all can never take that away no

kulfi ft. THIAGO

mixed by @ibr 

chords: twitter.com/samsaraps/status/818863039768367104

we’ve been dating for a year and a half now
it’s time I spoke about the way that I feel
and yes, I think about the future we’ll have but
how can I be certain your love for me is real

girl, I’m ready to commit, to get closer
I’m dropping hints, I’ve got the question rehearsed
but there’s one little thing I’ve got to get over
there’s just one little favor you’ve got to do me first

And if you let me, baby,
you can start the countdown

All you’ve gotta do for me, my darling
is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

it’s been weeks since when I first popped the question 
pulled the ring out and then spoke from the heart
you were sobbing and I don’t think that you heard me, 
don’t think that you realized my proposal had two parts

now we’re walking hand in hand to the altar
I’ve gotta tell you, you look perfect in that dress
and yes, I love you babe, in sickness and in health but
before I say “I do” to you, I’ve got one last request

n’ I’m so happy, babe,
to have you as my spouse now,

but first, before our vows you’ve gotta vow to me 
you’ll ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

so we did it, took the plunge into wedlock
you were waiting till’ the both of us got married
let’s get consummating, I could make your bed rock
but first, just pull your phone out, girl, before I pop your cherry

and if you let me baby, I could bring the house down
yes, I’ll take you to pound town    
but in the name of love, amor  
I’ve got a shameless plug before
I plug you
just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

and don’t act like you’re blameless
like you’re beyond my reproach
how much fucking work does it take to make a single playlist
or throw me a repost

I still remember when I fell for you, your smile
resembled that of Aphrodite’s, I wished I could call you mine
forever, now we’re man and wife and we’ve made vows and walked the aisle 
I’d never thought that me and you would be here, soon to raise a child
together, I know this is special, we’ve put in nine months of time
and effort, so before your water breaks I’ve just got one last final question,
all I need’s your soundcloud information, you can type the letters,
babe, I know you’re close just hold your labor off till I press enter,

and you see that orange button?
there’s no need to be reluctant 
all you’ve gotta do is click the mouse down
it would mean so much to me, my baby
if you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

one little favor

Off The Jump Presents a new single by @iamsamsa

Produced by: 
@yungmai

Mixed by:
@ibr

Cover Art by:
@passive155

Stay tuned on our Social Media

twitter.com/offthejumpmg

www.instagram.com/offthejump

and by visiting www.offthejvmp.com/

samsa - driftwood

prod. @xmittens
mixed by @ibr

lyrics: https://genius.com/Samsa-technocrat-lyrics

technocrat

for promo/business inquiries DM or email: tindersamurai@gmail.com

@offthejump

@atwoodotj
@ibr
@chriswrightotj
@toccimc
@hheadhaunter

one little favor

samsa

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