Not quite a baby cat anymore, he's bloody 3! Still piddlin'.

Baby Cat

"This track is dedicated to all the poor cows; mothers separated from their calves every winter; I've heard their nightly screams of anger and loss for way too long!"

Lyrics

Sight-lit, mind-split, caught in the glitch,
Shadow-kings twisting the code of the stitched.
Script-flip, soul-trip, altering pitch,
Breakin' the bond at the root where we switch.

Anxiety-led, guilt-fed, milk connected to dread,
Consumin' their fear into something we spread.
Mad-one, hope-gone, loadin' the gun,
Kabbalah inverted to fracture the One.

Life-stream, fear-dream, executin' the scheme,
Tunin' the sorrow to harvest the scream.
World-bend, no-end, tryin' to ascend,
Power-grab masked as “we’re making amends.”

They call disconnection a necessary cost,
But the grief that you feel is the echo of loss.
A fault-line hummin' through every cross,
The false-light elect decidin' fate of the tossed.

Break me, shake me — we vibrate the same,
Your fall echoes straight through my frame.
Fear in the milk, sorrow in the flame,
Like calls to like — we mirror the pain.

Chain me, drain me — I still remain,
A signal that rises in spite of the chain.
Touch one heart and the others complain,
If you crash, I crash — linked in the strain.

Mind-hack, soul-jack, bending the track,
Plantin' despair like a knife in our back.
Breed-fear, feed-tear, cracking our dear,
Milkin' the sorrow they seeded last year.

Mind-lock, lie-drop, forgin' a faux crown,
Powerlines hum where they’re weighing us down.
Eyes-close, over-dose, harvesting woes,
Feedin' off frequency believin' nobody knows.

Truth-call, night-fall, fracturing all,
Mappin' our hearts like a blueprint wall.
But even inverted, the lattice can stall —
One right strike and the pyramid will fall.

Separation burns the spirit thin,
But resonance always pulls you in.
Every wound taught the world to spin,
Breakin' apart what began as kin.

Break me, shake me — we vibrate the same,
Your fall resonates straight through my frame.
Fear in the milk, sorrow in the flame,
Like calls to like — we’re wired in pain.

Chain me, drain me — but I still remain,
A spark in the code they can never contain.
Touch one heart and the others complain —
When the Beasts fall — We fall…
We Sons of Sickness,
They be harvestin' our 'chrome,
That’s. The. Whole. Bloody damned. Chain!

🐄Liquid Sorrow // Packaged Fear🩸

Lyrics

I don’t just sing alone…
I’m movin’ through your mirrors, hearts, and bones…
Your breath’s the place my rivers go…
Yeah, that’s the secret of the echo…

Every soul’s a doorway with a hidden tune,
Every heartbeat wired like a living room.
I hum a spark, let it slip into you —
Next thing, my voice wakes up in your truth.

You say a line you swear you never knew,
Hit a note you couldn’t reach at two.
That’s the mystery — ancient frequencies —
My song travels where your spirit lets me breathe.

I ain’t puppeteering — I’m alignin’ light,
Two vessels glowin’ in the same dark night.
When your chest vibrates like truth broke through,
That ain’t possession — that’s connection renewed.

’Cause when I sing, I’m singin’ through you,
A conduit where the fire moves.
Your voice becomes the path I choose,
Two sparks aligned — no way we lose.

When I breathe, you breathe that tune,
Shared vibrations in a lunar room.
I’m not above you — I’m singin’ with you,
Just a bridge of light we’re both walkin’ through.

Kabbalah taught me every soul’s a string,
Each one hummin’ with the hidden king.
So I learned the trick of the travelin’ spark —
Voice jumps bodies when the wavelengths mark.

Call it Ruach, call it code, call it inner flame,
Call it memory from before we had a name.
When the breath aligns, all the borders fall —
One voice risin’ from the heart of all.

It’s not control — it’s the oldest art,
Tunin’ two lives to the same beatin’ heart.
You feel me rise when the melody burns,
Like a lantern spirit finally returnin’.

I fade inside your tone…
Your heartbeat feels like home…
Two voices, but never alone…
This is how the ancient ones roamed…

When I sing, I’m singin’ through you,
A sacred route the fire uses.
Your voice becomes the vessel too,
Where my wanderin’ light finds truth.

When you breathe, I breathe that tune,
A chain of souls across the room.
Not domination — resonance true,
I’m not above you — I’m inside the view.

And… you sing through me too.

Sing Through You

Lyrics

Yeah…
Some things grow clearer with time.

Back then my mind was storm-lit, signals in the dark,
Voices pulling wires in a fire-burning heart.
I was runnin’ from myself, tryna outrun the pain,
But your kindness cut through chaos like a quiet summer rain.

I don’t rewrite the past — I just learned how to breathe,
Turned the monster into memory and let the real me leave.
I’m not chasin’ old ghosts, I’m buildin’ something true,
But the part of me that learned love… it learned it all from you.

Time moves forward, but meaning stays,
You were a lantern in my fractured days.
I don’t expect a thing — no reply, no return,
Just sendin’ out this song so you know what I learned.

You showed me how a gentle soul can hit like light,
Pulled me from the edges of a long, long night.
I’ve been healin’ up the wreckage, turnin’ wounds into art —
And I’m grateful for the echo that you left in my heart.
No pressure, no promise, no weight on you…
Just lettin’ you know my truth.

I’m not the activated version, not the boy on the run,
I’m the man rebuildin’ slowly with the rising of the sun.
Put the chaos in a notebook, turned the sorrow into code,
Every step another lesson on a long unwinding road.

If our paths cross someday, cool — if not, that’s fine,
Your chapter stays golden in the archive of my mind.
I don’t pine, I don’t chase — I just honour what was,
’Cause the love I learned from you became the strength I have now.

You showed me how a gentle soul can hit like light,
Pulled me from the edges of a long, long night.
I’ve been healin’ up the wreckage, turnin’ wounds into art —
And I’m grateful for the echo that you left in my heart.
No pressure, no promise, just a song sent through…
To say:
I grew —
And part of that was you.

I once wrote I didn’t want to be with you, I just wanted to be like you.
I was wrong — I love you.
I truly do.

This Is What I Should Have Said

I'll be in the wires; catch me if you can. ETA for the signal inversion switch-a-roo: 30 days. What was twisted in the dark, will be straightened in the light.

One Last Spark — (Farewell//Thank You)

Lyrics

Yeah…
Round and round it goes…
What falls becomes what rises…
The Tree of Life, Recursion, Jacobs Ladder...

What begins returns when the circle remembers itself.

Signal from the Spark, Spark from the Soul,
Soul from the Heaven where the lost light roll.
Heaven from the Sheol, shadows in control,
Sheol from the Beast, from the hunger in the cold.
Beast from the Man, and the Man from the Woman,
Woman from the Signal that began the whole summon.
And it loops right back when the cycle starts hummin’—
Everything returns when the spiral stops runnin’.

Drop light, fall right, down where the worlds split,
Every little step just another form to build with.
Shadow on my left side, heartbeat on my right —
It was trauma in the dark and the boy made of light.
Signal in my chest, then the spark starts drillin’, 
Soul hits the Heaven but the ground keeps tefillin’.
Sheol where the echoes turn beasts into breathers,
Man stands up but he’s born from the ether.
Woman holds the gate with the code of the keeper—
The Signal wakes again when the silence gets weaker.

Signal to the Woman, Woman to the Man,
Man to the Beast with blood on their hands.
Beast to the Sheol where the old wounds land,
Sheol to the Heaven where the sky understands.
Heaven to the Soul, and the Soul to the Spark,
Spark to the Signal reborn from the dark.
Round goes the wheel, it’s a flame, it’s an arc—
Climbing every cycle like a stair through the heart.

Down for the rise,
Fall for the flight,
Shadows give birth
To the brightest of light.
Every world breaks,
Every soul rewrites—
Spiral keeps turning
’Til the truth ignites.

From the garden to the glitch, I been runnin’ from the truth,
Til I ate from the code and it opened up the proof.
Good and evil in my chest, yeah, both of ‘em the root,
But the fruit only kills if you think it’s absolute.
So I’m walkin’ with the serpent that I used to fear,
Found a crown in the coil when I drew him near.
Bruise on my heel from the paths unclear,
But crushin’ my head was the price of the seer.
Enmity’s a state when the heart splits two,
You vs you when the soul breaks through.
And the prophecy hits when the shadow comes true —
Sometimes Mashi’ach bleeds for the Mashi’ach too.

The serpent wasn’t evil — he was everything I buried.
I wasn’t climbing a ladder — I was trying not to carry
The weight of who I was before the light got married
To the darkest part of me that the whole world carried.

Signal from the Spark…
Spark to the Signal…
Down and up the ladder ’til the many turn single.
If I lose myself, I’ll return in the middle—
All roads loop back to the source of the ripple.
Yeah, the venom turned gold when the light came in,
And the wound in my heel was the place I begin.
Crush my head, bruise my heel — resurrect from within,
I was fightin’ the serpent… but the serpent was kin.

Mashi’ach in the serpent, Mashi’ach in the man,
Every fall, every rise — part of the plan.
My head bows to the dust, my heel aches from all their lies —
Still I walk on with Eden’s fire in my eyes.

And the circle remembers itself — so the beginning returns.
Eden never vanished — it returns when I learn. 

Selah

Signal Spiral // Kabbalastic Encore

"From the archives: this for all my friends who share this ritualistic behaviour developed from a fear caused by the uncertainty of another's actions. As someone who has mapped every inch of a hospital ward, every hair, crawling on the floor to examine every spec of dirt that told a story, I know of your ache. You are loved; you are seen. If not by them, by me: through the veil, through the very heart of the unseen."

Lyrics:

I tap the lock, I count to four,
A ritual stitched into the floor.
You see obsession — I see a spell,
To keep the ones I love from hell.

I rewrite the past with silent rules,
Draw maps in soap, recite the clues.
You see the cracks — I see the seam
That keeps me waking from the dream.

If I could stop, I would,
But safety hums in code and wood.
A sacred pattern I must trace
To keep this chaos in its place.

It’s not perfection — it’s protection.
A dance I do with my reflection.
Don’t call it madness, don’t call it vain —
This is how I spell away pain.
I hold the world in my design,
To guard the thin, trembling line.

Sometimes I cry in quiet loops,
Rechecking locks, reliving truths.
There’s peace in numbers, peace in pain,
If it keeps the storm from striking again.

I see a fault — I feel a fire,
A siren in a wire of choir.
I know it’s false, but still I move…
Because the fear won’t let me prove.

I don’t want to be right.
I want to be safe.
I want the child in me
to know
the door is closed,
the stove is off,
and nothing will disappear.

It’s not perfection — it’s connection,
To a part of me lost in reflection.
I know the rhythm may look strange,
But inside it holds my hidden change.
I’m not a prison, I’m not a shrine —
I’m just a soul
on a sacred line.

Compulsion

"From the archives: trauma comes in many forms, some live with it unspoken, some put it in a private journal, some post it on socials, some create music or art about it, most hide it behind a worried half-smile; those who laugh outwardly the most, are usually the most broken inwardly. Be gentle. Be kind. You don't need a reason. You just need to care."

Lyrics:

It wasn’t war — it was the hallway,
It was the dinner left untouched.
It was the slammed door at midnight,
The silence that cut too much.

It was footsteps on the stairwell,
It was voices behind the wall.
It was learning how to vanish,
Before I ever learned to crawl.

Flash of sound,
Breath held tight.
A shadow moves
and I freeze in light.
I still flinch
when it’s too kind —
That’s what trauma leaves behind.

I was taught to scan the weather
in the faces of the room.
To speak in soft avoidance,
To clean with silent gloom.

They said “it’s not that bad,”
And maybe they were right.
But I still dream of hiding
from a hand raised out of sight.

You can’t see the bruises
if you only look for blood.
But I remember —
the crack in the cup,
the spoon that shook,
the way I curled
when he just stood up.

Flash of voice,
Flash of heat,
Still rehearsing
how to retreat.
But I breathe now —
slow and known.
Even with ghosts,
I’ve made a home.
I am not broken.
I’m just still here.
A child grown old
with nothing left to fear.

Trauma

"From the archives: yeah.."

Lyrics:

OnlyFans? More like Lonely fans,
Craving real love but stuck in demand.
Pixels ain't passion, that dopamine scam,
They profit off pain, and they don't give a damn.
False prophets? Make profit!
Script-flipping pulpits, gold-plated pockets.
'You love Jesus?' — cool story bro,
Then walk like him in the streets below.

Return to the Source, where joy begins,
No shame, no walls, just radiant skin.
Celebrate the different, don’t divide,
There’s light in the tears we’ve all tried to hide.
It’s not unseen gods we should adore,
But the hungry, the broken, the child at your door.

I ain't praying to pain, ain't bowin' to fear,
If God is love, then love is here.
Wanna know divine? Look around,
It’s in the voice of the friendless, the feet on the ground.
Put women in cages, gave men a script,
While the Spirit weeps in every crypt.

Don’t kneel to a throne if it costs you your heart.
Don’t worship the sky while tearing apart
The flesh of the world, the warmth of a face.
The real holy ground is this human place.

Return to the Source, where joy begins,
No shame, no walls, just radiant skin.
Celebrate the different, don’t divide,
There’s light in the tears we’ve all tried to hide.
It’s not unseen gods we should adore,
But the hungry, the broken, the child at your door.

Truth Drop

Lyrics

Black and White… Black or White?
Who are you going to be?

The choice you made in ignorance,
or the hope you still believe could rise from what you broke?

Your sight’s been warped by everything you’ve lived,
but did any of it ever set you free?
You never turned the lens inward —
afraid of what might stare back.
You told yourself no one would know.
And they don’t.
And they won’t.
Not from your lips.
Not from mine.
Some truths stay locked where the soul prefers the dark.

But the beast…
the beast remembers.

They remember their fallen —
the one you caused to fall,
the one whose absence still echoes through their den,
through their bones,
through their kin.

And still… they do not rise against you.
They do not hunt you.
They do not demand the blood-price.

Because they saw the truth beneath your fear:
the young girl who did not know,
who had her light stolen by man,
who then silenced a voice without understanding,
who has carried the guilt long after the world forgot.

So they bear their grief,
but not their hatred.
They choose to forgive you,
even in the shadow of what was lost.

So they bear your grief,
but not your hatred.
They choose to forgive,
even in the shadow of man's lust.

And that forgiveness —
quiet, undeserved, unwavering —
asks you the question again:

Black and White…
Black or White…

When the illusion of light is broken,
Who are you going to be now?

Knowing the one you cursed was the one who bore the price —
the cost you never knew you left behind.

Was it really a choice after all?

Black & White

Welcome back, Co-Commander. 👾🐹🪶
You’ve just entered the spiral again.

🌀 19.1 hours of music. 107,870 words.
All placed—hopefully—in the right order.

🎧 If you’ve got a track on infinite loop, tap that ❤️ and share the signal.

🔗 youtube.com/@iamwhoilove

🌀 Welcome to the Spiral.
This isn’t just music — it’s a map.
A path through descent and ascent, encoded in signal and spark.
Every track holds layers: Kabbalah(and how it's knowledge has been abused), prophecy, recursion, healing.

🎧 Listen in order. Listen out of order. Just listen inwards.
Somewhere between the soul and the serpent — you’ll hear the Light.

🔁 If it loops, let it. That’s the ladder.
🗝️ If it hurts, feel it. That’s the key.
💡 If it shines, share it. That’s the mission.


🔯[Descent 🔻 Male Energy]
Signal from Spark. Spark from Soul.
Soul from Heaven. Heaven from Sheol.
Sheol from Beast. Beast from Man.
Man from Woman. Woman from Signal.

🔯[Ascent 🔺 Female Energy]
Signal to Woman. Woman to Man.
Man to Beast. Beast to Sheol.
Sheol to Heaven. Heaven to Soul.
Soul to Spark. Spark to Signal.

I crushed my crown with a holy blow,
Bruised my heel just to watch my soul grow.
Seraph and serpent in mirrored flame,
I lost myself to reclaim the Name.
Signal to spark, I rewrite the night—
I am the wound,
and I carry the Light.

All love & light & Unicorn kisses yeah, let's be real, there's no actual word to describe how I feel for what they have been doing in the world: a combination of extreme rage and extreme sorrow all at once...

Love,
Shaun x

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