9 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @cmten
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art designed + edited by @daywaiter
original photo + concept by mars whitlock & me

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
Acting out of malice
Circle pain on the diagram
Keep it steady, cut precision from my shaky hands
I'm so caught up between what I want and who I am
You only reach out at your weakest

And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed
And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed

I think I found what you were looking for
I won't give it back until you learn to use the magic word
If you're fucking with me then I just gotta be sure
And if it's really honesty then stop faking concern
Water down the drain until I'm clean
I create the image of myself I let you see
The things that make you pretty never look as good on me
Me my eyes and eyelids are all different shades of green

And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed

And I do it right back
And I do it right back
Let it circle in my head (Let it circle in my, and it circles in my head)
Burn a hole into my bed (And it circles in my head head head head head yeah)

(cmten)
Downing the drink that you made for me
Carve a space in the walls so that I can see
I can barely breathe, I can barely breathe
When you’re not with me, when you’re not with me
Sometimes takes a little more to come apart
Waiting for you to come back in the dark now
Sometimes waiting all alone at the bus stop
I don’t really give a fuck about what you want now
Bout what you want now
Bout what you need now
Bout what we had, 2am and I’m homebound
Kissing your neck, I forget all the past
Til I stand up too fast and I do it right back

(sd)
And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed
And I do it right

star★☆

doitrightback w/ CMTEN

mix/mastered by me
cover art by me
prod. michaelwarren
lyrics -
hook:
you're the best i ever had
i never wanna make you sad
will you come into my arms
im tired of being here alone
i write my thoughts into my phone
never want my feelings known
but you're the best i ever had
i never wanna make you sad 

verse1:
i kick back on a friday afternoon
you talk to your friends and they tell you what to do
i feel lost in space staring at the moon
i no longer feel anything i am immune  

verse2:
but thats alright i guess thats how things go
i walk around this earth until im six feet below
i feel so anxious all the time
can i get some help? people treat it like crime

jus leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone to die out here
im calling your phone, calling your phone, please pick up dear 
im not giving up on you (im not giving up)
im not giving up on you (im not giving up on you)

bridge:
i jus want the best for you
not giving up till i see it through
please jus hold me tight im cold
these feelings dont change even when im old

final hook:
you're the best i ever had
i never wanna make you sad
will you come into my arms
im tired of being here alone
you're the best i ever had
i never wanna make you sad
will you come into my arms
im tired of being here alone
i write my thoughts into my phone
never want my feelings known
but you're the best i ever had
i never wanna make you sad

you're the best i ever had

stream

you're the best i ever had (prod. michaelwarren)

original: https://soundcloud.com/rainf1eld/eww

rainfield - ew ［edit］

Lost my angel +asstoro (sien spark)

The main guitar is taken from Goonnights' song "sober"
link: https://soundcloud.com/goonnights/sober-ft-ever

The lead guitar in the second half was recorded by 2045
link: https://soundcloud.com/sc2un-sh4re
link: https://soundcloud.com/2045

Struggler is written about a sort of cycle I go through a lot, and trying to break it, but failing.
I always end up falling into slumps of creative block, and I always try way too hard to get out of it, and I always end up feeling horrible.
This song is also indirectly about me and my new alias, with some lyrics specifically referencing and responding to "To Disappear" which was a very difficult song for me.

As for this new alias, there's a full post on twitter, I'm sorry for deleting everything so suddenly, it was a really silly decision. "Rapture" will always be available on bandcamp for free.

remix stems:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L6wVfOrNyYRWd7d7iVrHIA5V-PZnGjcb/view?usp=sharing
(162bpm, idk the key)

As always, Soundcloud isnt the best listening experience (specifically butchers the high end on this song), try spotify or youtube or something
The mixing is definitely intentionally a little messy, the vocals are a little quiet on purpose, I really enjoy the sound this song has, but I can agree it might not be for everyone.

[LYRICS]

And Oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
And Oh, I might struggle and I might die

So tell me, is this healing?
Or it's a cycle that's repeating
And I need to know
If I'm gonna be here

Thickened Water
And Tarot Smoke

I guess I can feel it now
My gums are melting away
But they continued

And Oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
And Oh, I might struggle and I might die
So please don't disappear
Don't leave me in a shallow river

Struggle 'til I die

Struggler

'passage' (where do i go)
track 2 of 5
9/28/21

where do i go from here?
where do i go from here?
where do i go from here?
where do i go from here?

isn't it hard to imagine
who i can be next year
i can find a new fashion
to make me feel more sincere
feel stuck in my house can't move forward without waiting it out now
can't be stuck in the wrong crowd the distance grows farther since i've figured myself out
still lost in the shadows a marionette dressed in very old clothes
i just wanna be real though i dont understand what they mean "just be you" so
come to life, it's a miracle, who knew this would hurt when i feel low
it gets worse and my eyes glow, give me time to be who i want no

where do i go from here
where do i go from here
where do i go from here
where do i go from here

passage

harunohi (BonnyTown)

bandz

Want u more! x sonicreations [prod.five]

prod @neohnq

嫌いなんてさ君は言うかな
世界条理とか僕のせいで
崩れ落ちた人の尊厳
拾い上げて種を蒔きましょう

見捨てないでまだここにいたいよ
離さないで肌に残る体温
ママは言ったのひとりで生きてゆくの

重ねる生活永遠
そこで生きる意味を見出して
叶えたい夢はもうないな、ひとり部屋の中
画面越しに見えた頃に戻りたい
君とともにいたい、ただひとりがいい
わたし気づいたんです、でも叶わない
もう戻らない、夢は儚くてさみしいよ

嫌いなんてさ君が言うから
脆い心は壊れちゃって
こぼれ落ちたわたしの愛を
拾い上げて蒔いてみましょう

見捨てないでまだここにいたいよ
離さないで肌に残る体温
連れて行ってよハッピーエンドへの結末

mind garden ܤ (neohn)

lyrics:
descending in the deep 
no noises echoing
engulfed, and put to sleep

you'll never see again
you'll never breathe again
you'll never hurt again
this is a cry for an answer

lets raise our hands 
and chant our pains for all to hear
let heaven hear the screams of all they hold so dear
devour all the parasites 
don't waste your time or you will face the crashing tides

believe and you will see
under the weeping tears
the burning hopes and fears
we'll rise above the rain
with flames that won't be contained
from ashes we will raise 

lets raise our hands 
and chant our pains for all to hear
let heaven hear the screams of all they hold so dear
devour all the parasites 
don't waste your time or you will face the crashing tides

(you'll face the crashing tide..)

lets raise our hands 
and chant our pains for all to hear
let heaven hear the screams of all they hold so dear
devour all the parasites 
don't waste your time or you will face the crashing tides

carbon (prod. KRSTW)

ib. (ee-b)

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