foggy memories

Even When(prod. Emory X Whylonyy)

take a break

Now you'll follow us
Can’t trust myself
So can’t look above
Time spent in the summer
Grows close as I get old

Lost time with trust what’s left of us
I think this is a bust
I know this is a bust
You cannot have my trust
You can’t have my love
The only time you even say, it’s when I’m in your guts
And that’s fucked up, love

Wonder what was us?
Wonder what we did to change everything from where it was to where it is
Love heels that’s a lie they tell when we’re kids to give hope that you’ll feel better when you get big
I wonder why I can’t trust her, but you can trust me
Oh, fuck, I wonder
Where I went wrong
N where I went wrong
Where I went wrong
This all just feels so fucked up 
In the long run I think I did wrong and then the loaded gun point that up
And this is all up
This is a stick up I think my times up 
and I can’t trust myself again
This ain’t goodbye but I think I’m just way too high right now
To deal with the come down
To deal with the life I have when you’re around

When you’re around
Fuck everything up and you just know it
Yeah, you just know it

Yeah, you just know it and when it’s over, stones left unturned 
Love left unheard
I know it’s all blurred
I think I used up
I think my times up
I think I used up all my luck
Use up all my luck
Used up all my luck I think it’s done
Wash the dust fall from the ceiling
I can’t stand it there is no meaning
No meaning to this love
Unrequited love
I don’t want this love
Fuck

trust  (prod hollowprpl x 93feetofsmoke)

And when I move on, tell me 
If you still love me,
if it’s free 
If my heart’s free 
Or will you just let it be? 
Will you just let me breathe? 
I can’t breathe 
Hold my breath to my lungs collapse 
My next breath might make me 
May make me
Might make me 
Might be my last 
So tell me if I move all way too fast 
So tell me if you love me, will it last 
So tell me if I love you, will it last 
It won’t last 
I want it back 
I want it back 
Please just give me my heart back 
Fuck asking, I just want it back 
I swore I’ll take it back. 
I swear I’ll take it back. 

Will you still love me,
When it’s free 
When my heart’s free 
When my heart’s free
Or will you just let it be? 
Will you just let me breathe? 
I can’t breathe 
Hold my breath to my lungs collapse 
My next breaths might be my last
These next breaths might be my last
I hope they last
So tell me if they’ll last that long
I know
And all the ones I hold too close
All the people that I hold close
Most of them all just went ghost
Most of them all just went ghost
Tell me if I really don’t know
What is love if I don’t know
If I never knew it, how can I tell?
Yeah, how can I tell?
don’t wanna tell
You got secrets I can’t tell
You got secrets I can’t tell
And I got secrets you know well
You know well
You Noel

Breathe (prod. breeze)

shout out kay for the artwork <3 
will add lyrics later...
 
Wonder bout my past lives

Wonder what I slept like 

Wonder if I loved right 

Must've been good just to earn your light

You're everything I needed, everything I pleaded for You've given me and more. 
I'm that again, I'm back again. Feeling like myself, I'm not sad again.
I'm not mad again. 
Moving on from some shit that had me twisted. 
So please don't rock the boat, you might make me seasick. 
Last one I was on went down with a weird wind. I don't feel the same now, this is not a fair wind. 
I was forewarned of a sea that was covered in wars, like you. 
You were covered in thorns and I felt like the warning wasn't needed before. 
And I still feel like I don't need it. 
Cause I don't want my love to be a secret. 
Cause I couldn't keep it, our love a secret. 
I know you really mean it, I know you really mean it. 
When you say you love me, I can fucking feel it. 
I really hope your love can't be depleted.

I wonder about my past lives.

I wonder if I slept right.

I wonder if I loved just right. 

I must've been good to deserve your light.

In the end this ship was just the fodder.
I still have time before it sinks underwater. 
I still have time to raise a son or daughter. 
That's a lie, I don't have that time left. Like a good captain I'll go down with my ship. 
Even in the end I don't wanna leave you with this.
This guilt, this trip. 
You pulled me in and I thought I could win but I guess not. 
and these thorns I've been pulling on my chest a lot. 
In these memories I've been trying to guess a lot. 
In these words I wonder if they were mine or not. 
Your life I wonder if it was mine or not. 

I wonder about my past lives.

wonder if I slept right.

wonder if I loved right.

 must've been good to get this light.

wonder about my past lives.
wonder about my past lives.

seasick (prod. secre x jolst)

Wonder if I’m fucking up 
Back in this hole again 
K hole I’ve been diving in 
Drugged up I don’t need no friends 
Fucked up I don’t need no benz
Crashed the whip wonder where I went 
Fuck 
Fucked up in the road again 
Find me when the summer ends 

So if I fuck it up then 
And I’m just being dramatic 
I know it’s over I’ve been looking past it
I cover up these wounds with plastic 
Seal it shut I can’t have it 
Happiness, I run right past it 
I can’t hack it 
I’ve been feeling like I’m out of practice 
And i’ve been looking down again 
I can’t move past it
All these dramatics, I’m overdramatic 
Over and over I go into panics 
I’m losing myself
I don’t know how I will manage
To find my way back 
I’m lost and damaged 
I’m cold and wet
I’m like a dog on its last leg
Cat last life 
And what if I’m dead and this shits all just a past life 
I’m never the sad type 
I guess I’m the sad type
I ain’t trying to stay clean
I’m on my last life
I know I’ve always been mean
I ain’t the nice type
And I know it’s over
And I know what life‘s like I’ve seen enough
And I know it’s rough
It’s rough for you and me too
I don’t feel the same 
I’m not sure what I’m doing this time
I feel like I’m losing my mind
Going manic and it’s all the same
I know I am to blame
I’ll never change swear I’ll never change
And even when I try to, I stay the same
Even when I try to, I stay the same
And I think I’m to blame

theatrics (p. hollowprpl)

lyrics

So maybe if it
Maybe if it sets in
Maybe if I feel you on my skin
Maybe that'll help me 

So maybe when it sets in
And I can feel your skin on my skin
And I can tell what's really different 
Yeah I can tell what's really different 
It all depends on the mood this time
And I know I won't change my mind
And everything heals with time 
But
It's probably best if we cut ties 
Cause I don't think anything will really get better this time
So I guess this is one last goodbye 
To the times that I spent loving you 
And I look back in the hindsight 
And in the past time we were in the limelight 
You only came around in the nighttime 
And I only came around when my phone was dry
So let's take this one last night for one last goodbye 

Say goodbye 
Say goodbye while we get higher than we've ever been 
Than we've ever been cause maybe that'll fix shit

Think not
Pipe down 
I don't wanna hear you
Just let me drown 
Myself in the bottle again
Maybe then
I can move past all this fucking bullshit
And I won't have to hear shit
Hear your voice in my dreams
And I know I just wanna scream
I just wanna scream but I can't
These wall are to thin
And the ones I build up keep breaking down 

But only when you're around 
Only when
Only when you're around 
Only when you're around 
You're always around 
I keep your spirit with me
And I know that I’m quite empty 
I know that my chest is empty 
And I know cause your spirits heavy
And I know why it's so heavy 
When I'm with you n you're with me
When I'm with you n you're with me
When I'm with you you're with me
When I'm with you n I miss you
N I'm not with you but you're with me
Keep you with me
Cause that's where you're supposed to be
With me
Stay with me
Just stay with me
Wonder why did you leave

Time (prod. cxrter x flesh)

Stop changin, what love is
I feel it, these pieces
Missing some pieces
Missing
Stop changin, what love is
I feel it, I’m missin
These pieces
can’t tell me what I needed
can’t tell me If you feel it
What I’m feeling, is it a secret?
My love then, I’ll keep it secret
I don’t really mean it
I swear, I’ll never mean it
I can’t keep a secret
I can’t keep a secret

My love, gave it up for
Some drugs, what a fucking bore
I swore, I swore I loved you more
I swore I loved you more, I thought I loved you more

Gave it up for her
I feel like I’m losing myself
And I’m an addict all again
I don’t feel the same even with my friends
I don’t feel the same watch me do it all again
Fall in love again
And then lose some friends
Make a bad mistake and do it all again
History repeats every single fucking time
I wonder why I’m losing my mind this time

Stop changin, what love is
I feel it, I’m missin
These pieces
can’t tell me what I needed
can’t tell me If you feel it
What I’m feeling, is it a secret?
My love then, I’ll keep it secret
I don’t really mean it
I swear, I’ll never mean it

I’ll skip 1000 steps just to be with you
Too early to tell if this loves true
Too early to tell if this loves true
But I know I believe in you
Yeah, I know I believe in you
Yeah, I know I believe in you
Yeah, I know I know I know
I just hope it’s true
Just hope it’s true
Hope it’s true,believe in you
Hope it’s true, that’s what I do
Hope it’s true, believe in you
I just wanna see it through

secret (prod. babieyummo x cl6udy)

lyrics at some point.... idk yet x_x

Fucked up again I’m fucked up again
I think I did too much 
I think I’m losing my shit
shit i’m losing my trust can’t find it
I know you notice it
It’s true now
That everything is running out
I’m running low on a life I love
I know it’s true
I know it’s due, It’s due to you
I know it’s true, I fucked you too

I can’t stand this no more I just wanna end it all
Take it all back again, my life again
May lose some friends for this, but I think that
I’m better in a hole than living on my own
And even in the end, you know it
It all ends well, but when it goes well, it gets harder to feel well when it all drops
nd when the ball drops
Shit, when my heart stops
I feel it in my lungs, I can’t let em pop
And let my breathing stop
Cause if it goes too slow, I think it’ll all go downhill
Cause if I let it go, I know everyone will know the real me and I can’t keep that up
Keep it up and push my luck
Cause it’ll drain and run dry again
I’m dry again
Phones dry again
I really miss my friends
Where the fuck are my friends?
I’m fucked up again
I’m fucked up again 
I think I did too much
I can’t find my way I can’t find my trust
I think I did too much
 think I gave too much
think I sold my trust just for some bucks
Ithink I sold my love just for one fuck
But the drugs were good
I just do too much
I do too much
I’ll always do too much
I’ll always do too much
Single-handedly sniff eight ball
I drink a fifth and then I’ll go AWOL
Go MIA and take a nap n sleep for a week
And I might not come back

And let the dream drop out
I don’t feel the same now

K.I.A in my dreams(p. OutOfPlace)

Got bad dreams, make it go away
I’ve been doing nothing, I can’t see a new day
I ain’t taking pills no more
That shit just fried my brain
I think I’m insane
I don’t see a way, to clear my name
And make it go away, and save the day
I am no hero, I’m just a zero 
I’ll take my time back 
but I can’t fear you, No I can’t hear you
And I can’t see you, I’ll take it back and know that I’m not near you
No, I’m not near you and I can’t feel you
I wish I could, but time changed my value
I’ll stay in the basement, I can’t feel basic
I’ll take my time if I feel I’m changing
I’ll raise the bar if I feel I’m chasing
I’ll save myself. I’ll never tell.
I can’t change now. I’ll just be myself.
But all that changed when you said my name
Just stay the night girl I’ll say I miss you
I’ll hold you tight.
 I just wanna feel you.
And fill my mind 
with all the time 
that passed me by

pass me(BiscuitBoi)

                     {Icarus}
And when it’s said and done, I’ll heal
And wonder if this feelings even real
If this feelings even

When it’s said and done, I’ll heal
Wonder if these feelings are even real
Wonder if these thoughts inside my head are really my own
Or if it’s just the drugs leading me astray 
Maybe today’s the day I could put it all down
Remember, it only made you frown
And it only ever made me look down
I’m got a daydream and I don’t wanna wake up
And remember what I lost 
I got some stuff now and that’s fine but
Nothing to replace the thoughts of you when I’m hurting
And that’s a real shit
I’m burdened by the thoughts that stick around
I don’t wanna stick around
So tell me what you want for me now
Before I wake up
Before I wake up I want a paycut so I make less
Cause maybe then I won’t spend my money on bullshit just to keep myself from waking up

                     {MisFiiT}
waking up has been so hard lately
sorry i don’t mean to worry u so much baby
my thoughts burn me down inside it’s like hellfire
no i cannot cool down i cannot cool down

your trust in me is wavering 
you’re catering to me way too much 
my problems aren’t yours i been feeling like a chore
i been running from my head for like 5 years and counting 

sometimes i feel i don’t deserve to feel the way i feel
life right now got me feelin fake not real
we’re goin downhill we need some chill pills 
my clocks ticking soon i won’t really give a shit
waking up has been so hard lately
sorry i don’t mean to worry u so much baby
my thoughts burn me down inside it’s like hellfire
no i cannot cool down i cannot cool down
 
                      {Icarus}
the thoughts that stick around
I don’t wanna stick around
So tell me what you want for me now
Before I wake up
Before I wake up

long rest W/MisFiiT (cxrter x ryan kelly)

doors W/MisFiiT (prod. web)

Shout out calypso for the art she’s the goat🫶🏼
           
Lyrics

And I know 
That I’m done
I won’t run, I won’t run

And I know 
That I’m done
I won’t run, I won’t run

Reminded of the past every time I look down, I can’t change what I’ve done now
Might as well let it all come back around and change me
When I’m done I wonder what my corpse will feed
All the bugs around me, I think they’ll feed
And they look hungry and I’m not mean 
so I’ll let them feed

And when they’re done, I can go and be no one 
I can go and be no one 
I’m already no one

I’m already no one, and I can’t fix what’s already been done 
Can’t redo a race that’s already been won
But I’ll race to my death cause that just seems fun
Yeah, I’ll race to my death cause that just seems fun
Redo what I’ve already done
No past changes 
I’ll make it, then pretend I’m famous 
Can’t change it

Can’t Change it, I hate it
This feeling, I won’t make it
Yeah I hate it 

Yeah I hate it

I know…(freestyle)(prodbyecho1)

Yeah, I’ve been down the wrong path
I can’t really look back
I’ve been trying to find my way
Inside this hell hole, I call home
I know it’s over and dead
And I just can’t make it to bed
I just want some rest
I’ll leave this hole behind I know
Just a hollow soul and some broken bones
It’s just a hollow grave with no dirt to throw
It’s just a hollow grave where no love can show
It’s just a hollow grave where no grass will grow
Yeah, I think it’s time to dive in
I’m not trying to find my way cause I don’t mind it
All this fucking hate I bring,
I never never mind it
All the fucking words I sing I guess you minded
I don’t wanna let it go, and let my real truth show and pass me by
I don’t really wonder why, I can’t seem to die
And I wonder why, I can’t seem to cry
Nothing helps me. 
I’m not dying now.
Look back and I see myself frown
Looking form the past, I don’t wanna let me down
Let me down, let me down
I don’t wanna let me down
Let me down
Let me down
Every time I look down, it’s to grab a cup
And pour up
I’ve been losing myself for what
For what?
Just to let me down


this might blow out some speakers ngl..jk (hollowprpl)

another unmixed mess incoming<3
                      lyrics 
Shoot me up with Novocain tell me if you feel it when I’m talking I don’t hear it
I don’t wanna tell the difference I’ve been

I’ve been living like I’m livid
I can’t shoot the shots I’m missin
I can’t tell you what I’m feelin I’ve been
Super numb with Novacaine
Tell me if you feel it when I tell you that I’m missin it

Tell you that I’m missin it
I can’t tell the difference then
I’ve been trying to fix shit. I don’t really think I can

Numbed down, dumbed down I don’t wanna feel
Stressed out, strung out I don’t wanna heal
N I know it’s not the same n I can’t say your name
I know that it’s all the blame, I know that I’m all the blame

Shoot me up with Novocain tell me if you feel it when I’m talking I don’t hear it
I don’t wanna tell the difference
I’ve been losing I can feel it

numb me(tiedforsilver)

better ending W MisFiiT(web)

Tolerance. W MisFiiT(bornhero)

past tense(irby x Jolst)

slurred words n old wounds (freestyle)(hero)

too much(nickisgonenow)

doubt(wraithontheporch)

clipped (nevrfall)

leaves (shiiranoh x vallich)

never tell W GrimmGem (cl6udy)

nooneleft W mistral (NE’ERDOWELL)

move.. no stay. W GrimmGem (emory)

never learn (shiiranoh)

weekend [silver  x april21  x cutspace]

just noise..that’s it(secre x irby)

just a diary 
Healing... not really tho
Just trying to do better
still a mess
   Kinda over it all
@deadwoodcollective TM pending 
  ⛓️💀🪵⛓️
Gang of divines

IcarusLurks

Pinned to spotlight

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