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A collection of sound files lost to time. These are songs that im proud of, and hold a special place in my heart. But i couldnt find the will/courage to release for a majority of reasons. Imposter syndrome, Fear of rejection, Feeling lost, etc. But now i think its time i put them out for the public. Enjoy

Passion

blessed are the forgetful

produced by @notmorgn
with @cpt_sad and @guccihighwaters

spotify

in the wind (w/ yesterday and guccihighwaters)

producer. @lightbodyent
guitar written by @Tylerburkhart
https://soundcloud.com/tylerburkhart/i-want-to-drown-in-snow

i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
inside
i don’t want to live
but ill stay alive
i don’t want to leave
so ill make time
you don’t tell the truth
so you make lies
i cried
i cried again
last night flowers in my bed
last night i lost my best friend 
last nights flowers torn to shreds
last night our love wound up dead
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
inside
our love subsides i don’t feel right
pin me down you eat my insides
like a spider pull me in
kiss my neck make my blood thin
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
your pain inside

FREE DOWNLOAD

Last Nights Flowers - (prod. lightbody)

a mess, inside a body of a man

featuring my friend @guardinmusic

blackheartemoji
an album from @prodbybrody and thebreathingbackwards

lyrics: https://genius.com/thebreathingbackwards-what-i-am-lyrics

blackheartemoji

what i am (ft. guardin)

shawdy wanna love me till my heart stops
blow up on the track like i'm a pop rock
i just made a number off a feature
ima keep on rockin crystal clear

let me rot, decaying or not
ill still make the bops make you scream till you drop
smoke till you cough, drink till your soft
you cry in your bed cause your ex did you wrong

smokin allot i been puffin that potent all day till  i drop
i don't care about you or the the things that you cop
i been locked in my room everyday makin bops

one thing is clear i've always been the same
never changin rearranging all the people out of frame
wanna talk about the money always focused on the fame
kinda funny how they treat me differently its fuckin lame

bright pink tee tans jeans same me
bright blue eyes you'll never see x2

shawdy wanna love me till my heart stops
blow up on the track like i'm a pop rock
i just made a number off a feature
ima keep on rockin crystal clear

let me rot, decaying or not
ill still make the bops make you scream till you drop
smoke till you cough, drink till your soft
you cry in your bed cause your ex did you wrong x2

bright pink tee tan jeans same me, bright blue eyes you'll never see again

crystal clear! w/ guardin (prod. ugly zucc x pinknokia)

music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC7Ak_JNOWA
hosted by sad chill </3

@prodreaper

i cant feel a fucking thing
keep my eyes up to the rain
death is callin out my name
it's not too late to call again
the sky starts fallin on my face
but i'll always pull up to the same old place
marijuana rolled up, hit a gram to the face
said it's never been so good to fucking feel so dead

it could never be the same
put the double barreled to my brain
next to my 40 oz and pack of cigs
i'll paint a picture with the parts that remain

what would you do
if we could go back and maybe change some things?
if only you knew
that i'd do it all again just to get to where i'm at
sometimes ur eyes turn blue
and sunshines look fine without
or anybody that i knew
yeah, weeks go by where i don't think about you

Follow me <3

sometimes ur eyes turn blue (prod. reaper) </3 music video in description </3

w/ @guardinmusic
prod. by @taylor

lyrics:

why does this 
seem never ending i try to be patient
i wake up everyday just trying to escape it
this darkness is lurking don’t want to embrace it
i left my sanity dead in the basement
i burn with the demons
i drink till i’m wasted
this life full of color just seems to have faded
though i know my hearts temporarily jaded
and i will be free on the day that i face it

oh no
if i you go down this road
i’m gonna die soon
and i don’t wanna die soon
oh why do i
do this to my health
it’s like i’m killing myself
i’ve created this hell

(guardin)
why do i
even try 
i swear that i've 
lost my mind
it's not right
losing sight
of direction objection i'm losing my pace
caught in the storm and my head's outta place 

grip my hand and we can make it out alive
trust my integrity it's eating me inside
they say honesty is crucial to survive 
but i know a couple people comfortably living a lie
so why do i feel so uninviting
head vs heart and they keep on fighting
lost my mind but i just keep writing
lock my door in my bed i'll be hiding 

(ooo ooo ooo
oh no
oh why)

oh no
if i you go down this road
i’m gonna die soon
and i don’t wanna die soon
oh why do i
do this to my health
it’s like i’m killing myself
i’ve created this hell

oh no ft. guardin (prod. taylor morgan)

shoutout to soundcloud.com/itsyungvan & https://soundcloud.com/daddydandy <3

lyrics:
shattered:
shawty you know that you lie
you wouldn't care if i die
you wouldn't care if i cry
shawty why do you lie

i wish i didn't date you
i wish i didn't know you
i'll sell shows to break you 
i flex on my ex
cuz that's all that i got
she run away cuz she know she a thot

i hope it was worth it 
bite like a serpent
act like a bitch cuz it tears me apart 
truth is i'm hurting
truth is i'm learning
truth is that i hope that i end up burning
your legs are like doors
you open and pour
you'll love anyone who won't call you a whore
but
that's what you are to me
i'm just a casualty

manipulating
when we were dating
you told me don't fret
he's just an old friend
he's just an old ex
i only love you 
back of my car 
we can have so much fun boo
do i still love you
baby i can't tell 
you talk to others
while i hide in covers	
sheets on my head
make me feel like i'm dead
texting your phone but you leave me on read

yung van:
fuck you, you don’t about care me
fucked up, naw the blames not on me
don’t talk shit behind my back, cause i don’t roll like that
i know you wanted on me
what’s he got that i don’t
he’s got you, that’s a joke
you’ll switch up, like a roach
just make sure you don’t choak
with all that shit your mouth
you better shut the fuck up
cause when this news gets out
all your friends gon’ switch up
i have no remose for you
don’t come back crawling to me
when he finds out what you do
he’ll throw you off like his shoe

shattered:
baby
you're faker
than santa claus
than santa claus
the guy 
that you are with
will leave
so please just don't come back to me
shawty 
you're colder than ice with some salt
my friends were right
about the night
when we had met
you got me set
like juliet
with bayonets 
ready to fire on me at your will
choking on smoke while we kiss and we chill
leaving my ass for a kid with some skill
you just a park all you give is a thrill

flowars:
bad girl in a mad world
ass fat where you at girl
let me hit it from the back girl
i ain't got a jack shit black pearl
i don't wanna look at you
everything you put me through
but you won't go away
so i guess ill fuck your face
ask that nigga how i taste
does he know your love is fake
tell the boy that i relate
ooh i relate
bitch is latex
she just want sex
and your paycheck
like it's no sweat
bitch is latex
she just want sex
and your paycheck
like it's no sweat

romeo & juliet! w/ yung van & flowars (prod. nick mira & lucky bennu)

i had a lot of fun covering one of my favorite songs by @youngburial , hes crazy talented and a brilliant writer. i hope everyones having a great day, and expect another song this week!!

Tuning: D A D F# A E

fats'e 💙

i'd prefer an unmarked grave (fats'e cover)

produced by loopy

can we start over? [prod. loopy]

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/bornhero for the amazing beat <3

lyrics:
where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i do not know
how to fit in
smoking me out
ripping a spliff  
everyone loves me when i go and dip
everyone loves me when i go and dip

everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
i'm stuck here 
writing simple songs
hope to take the pain away
when my eyes turn to gray
i know 
that my secrets buried deep below the bong
will release
every thought i'm feeling making me do wrong

where i belong
i will not know
every weekend i'm feeling so low
no where to go 
staying at home
staring at walls scrolling twitter alone
hit up my phone
leave you on read
people around treating me like i'm dead
feel like a ghost
no one will post
sit in my bed think about you again   

no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti
no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti

i take control of the whip in my mind
driving me places that i can't define
exploring the road, taking my time
lie to my friends when i say i'm alright
where have i gone
i do not know 
hop in the car and i'm driving alone
phone is on silent not trusting these tones
i feel the weight all the way to my bone

where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i take control of the whip 
going straight 90 i dip
exploring the vessel of me
tell me about what you see

where i belong (prod. born hero)

I know what it’s like not knowing what’s going on in the other room.

afterprom

Facts

Art by Helen

This is my 17th song i posted a video of me singing this song back in early December 2019 pn my instagram  so this songs like 3 song books old but i didnt record it til like 2 months ago Its a Myspace Scene Revival type song for you to dance too and with everything going on rn this song is for u to listen to while locked up in ur house  But this songs about a couple exes of mine and other girls ive known who have played with me and thought they were all that or that they liked me  yet they  stole my heart tho i still really love a couple of them S/o to Adharmasatru and Yungjza Coldworldgang bby Rawr XD

Lyrics: Yeah she said she love me but she dont really care Acting like a model while the ppl stop and stare Got camera's flashing everywhere music blurring in my ear pop rocks on me As im crying candy tears then she just disappears like magic everythings so tragic I carry all this bagage Yeah she stole my heart Never said that you could have simi automatic The way you shout me down and left my heart on the ground I was lost and never found all the walls that surround

(hook)
Yeah hot topic zumiez go ahead and sue me candy dispensers i saw you at spencers memories never fade but some of them are rendered  yeah some of them are rendered  (2x)

(bridge)
I love you sue me cant believe this is how you do me i love you sue me cant believe this is how you do me(2x)

(Adharmasatru)
Your love it consume me If you do not like ut then you can sue me And im sorry baby for asuming  Everything that i thought you were doing I saw you at the mall You didnt care at all i never caught me when i fall Make it all my fault U dont return my calls its not ur fault at all at all at all
(hook)
(bridge)

I Love You, Sue Me w/ Adharmasatru <333 (Prod. Lord Wavy)

I’m learning and growing. What we want is already ours.

Last Nights Flowers - (prod. lightbody)

icy tears

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