and i meant every word
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDMiDCp6y5U

when i go deaf

old thing for which i have no plans. still in sad sack mode so this is all you get

still life

it is all so tenuous. every day there is a dead dove strapped around my neck and i am unable to take him off. he flies away when i sleep in the night, most of the time anyway, but there is always a new one there in the morning to take its place. the crying doesn't help, the binge eating doesn't help, i am trapped in a hell i have designed specifically for myself. i purposefully designed it to be free of exits. there are only four walls and a picture of you know who on the wall. not all the distractions in the world could get me out of here, especially if i wanted to leave.

which i don't, of course.

(done in one take while my hands are covered in bandaids. i always play in hard mode.)

absence

it is worst when i have the realization in the (continued) presence of others, that i am really and truly alone, an island of some sort, impregnable from all Outside, that i must at once accept with grace and dignity my state of constant interiority, only achieved by being alone, that i must do this, or else someone will know as it happens

the first turn of the screw settles all debts

the baby gronk ghost lemur incident [fawm 1]

shouts out @risk02 on the MotherFucking guitar

the bohemian grove bussdown (w/rissan) [fawm 4]

expired chicken nugget [fawm 6]

peter griffin fucking dies [fawm 8]

Full Body Sprain Release Party Set

song i made two years ago (and subsequently lost the project + stems for), forever 90% finished

Parhelic (Unfinished)

ronald reagan beat

original (((better))) version of the (((now-privated))) klonopin sunrise

new life

desperation anthem

from an earlier version of my album (scrapped in jan. 2024)

euchre (unfinished)

visions of excess

infinite cadence

just for today (death speaks)

the proverbial light (good ending)

plankton clairvoyant beat

island in the sun + avril 14th

the national anthem

slowdance

OUTOFMONSTER

then it could've been on the album. oh well

siobhan

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