i never asked for this at all

asphalt w/ ancr [+speedlmt x hireath]

All these drugs help the pain
But it comes back worse
Leave right now
Or Imma leave you hurt
I can't rest till I'm food for the worms
We all die one day
I'm just waiting my turn

Tell me how I'm supposed to feel
When you break my trust
Tore it right in half
I don't even know what's real
When you always tell me
This and that
Smile to my face
And go behind my back
You never really cared
But now I know that
I gotta cut you out
It's really for the best
Can you hold still
It'll only take a sec

Feel like this every night
Frozen cold dead inside
Blowing smoke getting high
Like the stars in the sky
I wanted love not a fight
You cut me deep like a knife
Made me hate my own life
You drive me crazy no lie

You drive me crazy no lie
I've been losing my mind
It's getting harder to find
Any peace
I've been falling into pieces
Out of place
Yeah i'm always fucking anxious

Lines on lines
Until my nose bleeds
Staying up till the suns out
I don't sleep
Undercover on my fucking
Jeans and my sleeves
I can't be your lover
Everyone I love leaves

Tell me how I'm supposed to feel
When you break my trust
Tore it right in half
I don't even know what's real
When you always tell me
This and that
Smile to my face
And go behind my back
You never really cared
But now I know that
I gotta cut you out
It's really for the best
Can you hold still
It'll only take a sec
(Only take a sec)

spotify

this & that (prod. lil biscuit)

not you w/ hamilton (prod fats’e x noahmadethiss)

biteki visuals: https://youtu.be/ohfrtOuQ9WY

so take your roses
and throw em 
felt the same since
last october
i’m a junkie 
you’re too sober
u don’t want me, girl
my heart polar 

i’m not that kid anymore 
in some ways maybe not others 
i take 2 pills hit the floor
percocets make me throw up
we don’t get on
now i’m older
you’re so wiser
and too sober 
different life so 
i can’t hold ya
she’s callin me 
i’m too fucked up for this 

*voicemail*

i’m too fucked up for this
gotta hang up the call
throw my phone in the bin 
i can’t handle it all
every time that you sin
throw my faith at the wall
got a devilish grin
not a halo involved 
in this mess that were in 
i can’t be who you want 
but i’ll try to be him
i got stones in my heart
hear it when i walk in 
burnt the rose watch it fall
as you tear off your skin
to reveal your horns
and the hell that you bring 

so take your roses
and throw em 
felt the same since
last october
i’m a junkie 
you’re too sober
u don’t want me, girl
my heart polar 
x2

polar (jolst x remghost)

lyrics:

i learned my lesson night i passed out in the bushes 
in front of ‘on the rocks’ was off my rocker, no shit 
i don’t wanna be in VIP, it’s awkward 
ima stay at home, hit demon rips, its absurd 

they think i’ll go out bad but i won’t fold like that 
they relaxin watching tv while i make this shit 
while i lose my mind i seem like i’m okay 
stressin while im pushing all this pain down 


wait im not really like that 
too scared, backpedal, always getting sidetracked 
(it’s a long way home)
always so lost in my thoughts
if you wanna get me talking gotta get me on the rocks
think we fucked but i forgot
know i took too many shots 
didn’t know that i was capable of being want you want ‘till your sick of it 
it was good to feel on top for a little bit

long way home w/ xlhc

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

tether (ft. greenwood) [triple gemini]

spotify & apple <3

superstar (noahmadethiss+jolst)

breaking the bones in my hands (prod. dollmaker)

drops on all platforms - friday 13th june 💫

produced by: @prodjolst
featuring: @ripskele

and i know i look high im jus tired 
she weren’t the one she was lyin 
i jus poured up a 4 of the pinewood 
i jus switched up the plug now i’m flyin 
i pop a 10 n get violent 
i don’t fuck w opps or the sirens 
talk 2 me nice or be quiet 
u ain’t on this smoke ion buy it 
no i don’t buy it 

[skele]
i pray that someone take me home 
im not seeing right 
im mixing pills into my drink
so i can sleep tonight 
god i know u make me sore 
i don’t need reminded 
fucking kicking down that door
didn’t try to hide it
pouring up this drank 
into my cup gon make it worse 
i can’t even speak 
fuck up this check 
so it don’t hurt
put this metal to my brain 
go afk 
i’m making sure
hope i forget about ur face 
i pop this k 
like its a cure

and i know i look high im jus tired 
she weren’t the one she was lyin 
i jus poured up a 4 of the pinewood 
i jus switched up the plug now i’m flyin 
i pop a 10 n get violent 
i don’t fuck w opps or the sirens 
talk 2 me nice or be quiet 
u ain’t on this smoke ion buy it 
no i don’t buy it

tired w/ skele (jolst)

fukk (prod friedlikeshi)

Shinigami - I Miss U (ft. YungJZAisDead)

@familypet

shinigami: you said thisll never last so now im falling apart
my face is feeling numb again 
a shattered soul
dont let me go
you killed me first
im sure you know

she said thisll never last now im left in the dark
you saved me from myself again 
after the fall
i knew it all along
i never asked for this at all

you shouldve never let me in at all
now all you can do is watch me crawl
away
isolate myself
and i still can feel it all

and you can see the devil in my gaze
i think its best you stay away from me
im weak why cant you see this

familypet: thinkin back i fucked it up
my brothers just don't give a fuck
we skate until it's dark enough
to smoke and drink
we act don't think
don't think we act our age with it
i know i always ruin shit
i hope i never ruin this
i hope we'll always stay like this
putting each other in hospital beds
remember last summer when i broke my leg
doing a jump at the gap at 18th
remember the time that i knocked out your teeth
i'm glad that you always forgave me
these are the stories and memories that made me
i know i wasn't worth saving
i was just crazy
can't help the fact that i love misbehaving

i never asked for this [feat. familypet]

Lil Boo Weep - I Wrote This Song 4 U

Just a little something we were working on and never released :)

Cover of "If It Means A Lot To You" by A Day To Remember 
Guitar and Mixing by Shinigami
Recorded in 2017

disgusted

shinigami

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