move slowly, across the room, quarter past 4,
come and take a ride with me, i'm going to the store,
pick up a philly, maybe 2 or 3 more,
comfort game, sophists become kings, living folklore

steady cruising, a winter never before seen reaches shore,
the abyss is knocking, get the door

mortality at stake mother fucker, all out war,
god given satan groomed,
hiding in the sunshine, dark side of the moon,
never see it when it's coming, when that sunlight justifies 
hunting, it's futile to think of running 'cause someone's always
trying to hide something,

the bass in brooklyn is bumpin',
run for the hills when you see the feds comin',
live to fight another day, smoke somethin',

buddha for my buddha and i'm feeling supreme,
21st century king, living among higher beings
than ever before seen,
the sky may look blue,
but perception holds true,
spill through me, i'll swim through you

Labyrinth

Descendent

Placeholder

it's always been the case that i feel as if i constantly can't,
as if i can always do things i knowingly cannot do,
and am convinced in failure as much as success,
say no, mean yes,
it's an apparent contradiction that i can't shake.

sometimes it becomes impossible to see the merit in any one decision at all,
however i make them all the time,
and i'm sure you do too,
but think about how deep that shit goes.

who are you choosing to be?
what are you choosing to do?
are you making that choice?

well i've given it some thought and it's not as easy a thing to live with.

i mean, living's not easy, but potholes for the soul can be pretty detrimental. 

when i say that i'm talking about your thoughts, about my thoughts.

do you ever convince yourself you know what's true? 
especially when it comes to you?

well i guess sometimes we have to.

if i were to ever voice an opinion on the matter,
i'd say it's beneficial to get to know the parts of yourself you're unsure about. 

bouts of empty fear.
noise wall.
hidden silence.

i took a long drive out of the city the other day - 
it started to rain as i got into the car, 
and it continued for hours.
i drove well into the night,
and it occurred to me that i had about an eighth in my jacket pocket from last night,
i felt relieved that i brought rolling papers with me, and worried about getting randomly stopped at the same time. 

got to my buddy's house, rolled a few and we melted into one another. 

i haven't been to a party out of will in forever due to my life with the woods - that's meant as a metaphor. 

we talked for some time, and stared into each other's eyes while doing it. "this is hell," i thought. too beautiful to be real.

lately though, i've been feeling that way about everything.

i heard atheists and agnostics are starting to be targeted the other day. friends, this is the behavior that i'm babbling about. action out of intelligent impulse - the bane of our day to day.

better to fight through boredom, live freely to be encouraged again,
to encounter what lies past nothing in the distance,
have you ever done something tens of thousands of times?
was the last half more relatable than the first?

ahead of us, there comes a night of liberation,
and we must choose between the flashlight & the fire.

our limitless limits create unlimited possibilities,
constantly explaining things we cannot describe.

i arrive home, and it smells like wet grass in the spring.

Internal Thoughts

Remade one of my favorites from The Doors!

Painting:
John Atkinson Grimshaw, Canny Glasgow, 1887

Cars Hiss By My Window

the flowers bloom all around us,
but not with us

A Bright Place Without Cause

Penance

There comes a time, 
When we're in need, 
We all learn how to get by, 
I did similar things, 
Like I had wings 

If I'm worried about my balance, 
I check my balances, 
And If panic's not my friend, 
Well then maybe malice is, 
I've been Feeling quiet, 
And hearing choruses, 
You should see how i get, 
Back up on my horses 

While I checked, 
the rear view, 
It was raining down, 
You were down, 
When I left town 

Round about the city, 
Didn't end up taking any, 
Now I'm feeling anxious, 
So I'm no longer friendly, 
Looking at myself, 
I allow myself a little, 
when I'm slippin' on the edge, 
I take two steps back, 
Back pedal, 
I go back and forth, 
Wanted 20, 
but ate 3, 
I woke up, 
I could still breathe, 
Thought it was 20, 
Really only 3, 
On repeat, 
Asking myself, 
If you're worse for me, 
Than my freedom? 
Fuck it I don't care, 
Deep stare, 
When you need to speak, 
You stay silent, 
Now I'm looking for my key, 
Can't find it 

Driving through heavy fog, 
My road is cloudy, 
I see fire, 
I feel silence, 
Balance, 
Xanax, 
Balance, 
Xanax

I won't turn back,
Green pill,
It's raining now,
Dark town,
I'm older still,
Hunker down,
My patience is sold,
Metal and gold

Xanax

I know now, 
That two can speak from the same place, 
And embody one another, 
This much is true, 
As is its counterpart
This much is true
You and I, 
We're different, 
You and I, 
We're far apart
You and I, 
We're different
You and I
There is no entanglement between us, 
Now, and forever, 
The problem between us is gravity
------------------------------
I'm in the deep green, 
I'm cutting down

Deep Green

Buzzi made a contest to remix his track:

https://soundcloud.com/buzzzzzzi/buzzi-havocs-strings

so I said word, challenge accepted, and here we are. Enjoy!

gadfly

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