an audible representation of anxiety, mentally preparing for the worst. written for a harp. 
disclaimer: audio is not made with real instruments.

calm before the storm

simply a person who has commitment issues but also easily gets attached. both issues battle each other overwhelming the person, therefore causing the feeling of wanting to "run away". this is my first song i've recorded with a daw so let me know if you have any tips for the future :D

lyrics:
Chorus
	I had to run away
	Cause im starting to feel things i can't explain
	I'm too busy in my head and i know
	It's not love that i feel yet im addicted
Verse 1
	Look at what you did 
	Watching me look like a mess
	I'm on the floor i can't get back up
	You let me down
	And i don't know what i'm doing
	I had no prior plans its just amusing
	To talk to you for whatever reason
	And i cant get you out of my head
Chorus
	I had to run away
	Cause im starting to feel things i can't explain
	I'm too busy in my head and i know
	It's not love that i feel yet im addicted
Verse 2
	Words don't come easily to me
	When it's you i really lose
	But here i am full of words full of thoughts
	And it's all about you make it stop
	I locked the door to my heart
	But they’re still knocking
	My mind seems to race, i cant keep the pace
	What more must i face
Chorus
	I had to run away
	Cause im starting to feel things i can't explain
	I'm too busy in my head and i know
	It's not love that i feel yet im addicted
Bridge
	Run 
	My legs are too short for me
	To be moving so fast
	My brain can't compute
	What is happening oh
	Help me
	I want to run
	I feel so stuck
	In the loop that i made
Chorus x2
	I had to run away
	Cause im starting to feel things i can't explain
	I'm too busy in my head and i know
	It's not love that i feel yet im addicted

run away

just an angsty teen trying to navigate through the world, finding new ways to express themselves.
Lyrics

Verse 1
there’s many ways one can express themselves
from words, to art, to their appearance
i’m just trying to find myself
everyone is against themselves
but i’m told it’s all a phase
what is this game we’re playing

Chorus
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are
experimenting with things that others forbid
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are 
what you prohibit makes us want it more

Verse 2
school so far was work and friends
remember useless things
communication skills
then college your on your own
i’m supposed to know myself
nobody knows themselves
but i’m told it’s all a phase
what is this game we’re playing

Chorus
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are
experimenting with things that others forbid
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are 
what you prohibit makes us want it more

Bridge
cut my hair, change it’s color
get a piercing, then another
paint my nails, write some words
then i do it all again
cut my hair, change it’s color
get a piercing, then another
paint my nails, write some words
then i do it all again

Chorus
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are
experimenting with things that others forbid
it’s the teenage schemes of us trying to figure out who we are 
what you prohibit makes us want it more

teenage schemes (ukulele version)

time flies and sometimes people don't change. no matter how much you try, only that individual can make that decision in wanting better for themselves. if only the efforts were mutual...

ambient sounds consist of mixing my iced tea in a glass container, breathing/sighing and keyboard typing. yes, i used my keys to mimic a clock. i don't have reasons otherwise for the ambiance rather than it just sounding right.


lyrics 
Verse 1
For how many years, must i be right here
For you to notice, that I've changed as time goes by
I'm not the same person i was back then
But you may not have changed
     
Chorus
Did you know the world revolves around the sun
And you are not their heir
Did you know that you are not the only one
I tried to understand
I’ve been patient, I've given you all the time in the world
But the amount of effort you gave me was slim to none

Verse 2
How many problems, must you rant to me
To only realize, you keep running back or flee
Problems won’t change unless you fix them
So why do you only wait for change

Chorus
Did you know the world revolves around the sun
And you are not their heir
Did you know that you are not the only one
I tried to understand
I’ve been patient, I've given you all the time in the world
But the amount of effort you gave me was slim to none

Bridge 
I rarely ask you for anything 
Even if i tried, you still won’t do a thing
Goodbye (x3)
Is what i should’ve done years ago
Those who left before were smarter than i
That’s why i had the burden of you

Chorus
Did you know the world revolves around the sun
And you are not their heir
Did you know that you are not the only one
I tried to understand
I’ve been patient, I’ve given you all the time in the world
But the amount of effort you gave me was slim to none

heir

philophobia, the fear of not being ready to love.

also :D did ya hear me hiccup + burp hehehe
lyrics: 
	You’re doing it on purpose
	Making my heart skip a beat
	Did I really consent to this
	The moment that we’d meet
	I don't know if I'm ready to feel yet
	Why can't i put my feelings on reset

	Fear has taken control of me 
	Cautious with every step
	I’ve walked down this path at least once before
	It's too good to be true

	You’re doing it on purpose
	Making my heart skip a beat
	Did I really consent to this
	The moment that we’d meet
	I don't know if I'm ready to feel yet
	Why can't i put my feelings on reset

	Why am I shivering like this?
	How come I’m so nervous
	I’ve performed on many stages before
	Why is it harder just with you

	You’re doing it on purpose
	Making my heart skip a beat
	Did I really consent to this
	The moment that we’d meet
	I don't know if I'm ready to feel yet
	Why can't i put my feelings on reset

	Is it really okay? To allow myself to feel?
	I don't wanna hurt anyone, anymore
	How will i know I’m healed

	You’re doing it on purpose
	Making my heart skip a beat
	Did I really consent to this
	The moment that we’d meet
	I don't know if I'm ready to feel yet
	Why can't I put my feelings on reset


reset

silly little song that tells a story about a shy girl romantically pursuing someone for the first time. the least serious adlibs with garageband instruments bringing a revamped version of the original acoustic version of delulu.

lyrics:
the night was still young
second drink in hand
strobe lights shining on the dance floor *1,2, cha-cha-cha*
as i let my eyes wander the scene
i find you dancing to the beats

i never tried to approach someone
romantically before
but seeing how you radiate your confidence
i want more

should i go over and say hi
give you "those" eyes
or would it make me cry
since i'm so shy
should i make up a lie
recite the numbers of pi *3.1415926535*
does it matter if i try
if you may just say goodbye *adios*

maybe the alcohol is getting to me
who knows if i would regret this tomorrow *shot-shot-shot-shot-shot-shot everybody*
i suddenly have courage
since when do i think too much
over analyzing everything
i don't want to mess up

i never tried to approach someone
romantically before
but seeing how you radiate your confidence
i want more

i go over and say hi
gave you "those" eyes
i didn't get to cry
since i'm so high
you gave me butterflies
serotonin sky high
my feelings amplified
as you smiled and walked by

delulu x18

i never said hi
never gave you those eyes
i managed to cry
it was all in my mind

you weren't real
so why do i still feel
like i need more time to heal
what more is there to reveal

delulu x3

delulu

the sound of finally letting go of a toxic relationship. granted this song probably fueled my "villain arc" but it was also a start of realizing my worth.

lyrics:
We were, like a stupid light switch 
On and off like a stuck up b*tch
Goodbye to your little white lie 
There are no more tears left for me to cry

Sentimental objects don't mean a thing anymore when it comes from you
You can't buy me or my respect
I am not your puppet

I never meant to push you away
But your heart’s too greedy for the price I would pay
You never took no for an answer so
I decided I would let you go

Standby, on call 365
An unpaid therapist at your side
Dress up, a customized barbie
Cannot find where is the real me

Sentimental objects don't mean a thing anymore when it comes from you
You cant buy me or my respect
I am not your puppet

I never meant to push you away
But your heart’s too greedy for the price I would pay
You never took no for an answer so
I decided i would let you go

And now what is left, is that stupid shirt I kept
And maybe there is more, though they have no use
When I decide I want to make such a big mess
Just like you did, I decide to wear that shirt
My
Dye 
Shirt

dye shirt

a singer songwriter who is somewhat known for being a ukulele playing meatball png tuber. also occasionally plays video games and streams on twitch!

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