hated spring

ill never be perfect, i dont deserve it

produced by brody and saint tomorrow
arrowhead coming october 1st

i love all of you so much thank you

arrowhead

STREAM

blame (p. brody & saint tomorrow)

prod skellington - https://www.youtube.com/@skellingtonforever/featured

wish you were here when i'm down
only got memories now
stuck with the past cus the past didn't last
now i just cry all year round
missing you through the seasons
summertime with the warm, bright evenings
do what i can to erase all the pain
but end up just feeling the same
it’s been a while since we called, i miss your voice
i pick the paint off of the wall cus what’s the point
i hate the concept of time 
wishing for void
swallow me whole please i’m so sick of this noise

hoping to delete my mind
too many thoughts from when you were mine
our timelines no longer cross each others
these cold nights i just play your covers

everydays a nightmare
scary faces, scary thoughts
used to hold me very tightly
used to calm my racing pulse 
but now you've become a stranger when you used to be my home
i lost my home that night, now you're the parasite that stole my sight

you stole my sight [skellington]

s/o to deckabeats & alsbeatz for bringing this one to life
& s/o to you for stickin' around! it's guardin szn!

lyrics
--------
clock strikes twelve it's all over after
distant memories of disaster
full eclipse the sky's falling fast
we're all dead by dawn  

i guess the goal is
to set my body back beside my soul
cause i guess really all i wants control
this world is ugly but we paint it gold
i've lost my discretion a decrepit hole
sits inside my body where i tug and pull
and pull and pull
your life code was patched
with a fine tooth comb
all the lights were detached
i guess nobody's home
in your bed lies a match
where the fire was thrown
i don't like where this goes
can you leave me alone
(cause when the)

clock strikes twelve it's all over after
distant memories of disaster
full eclipse the sky's falling fast
we're all dead by dawn  

i don't wanna do this
feeling like i got to
channel what i'm bestowed
pushing on the gas
till i'm drivin real fast
when i crash imma reload

enter the void

distant memories (prod. deckabeats x alsbeatz)

die stille bringt mich langsam um

happy halloween! thought i'd hit y'all with a fun one for the holidays!
s/o to @siemspark + @rjpasin for brining this to life!

lyrics
--------
wake up
get the crust out of your eyes
it's so late it's like 7:45
this whole place is asleep while i'm alive
i'm lonely but i guess that i'll survive
it's alright if you look me in the eyes
don't be afraid yeah i promise i won't bite
i'm not awake was asleep when you arrived
now i'm half baked & i don't think that i should drive

and i don't think that you're alright
it's the little things about you i've been noticing on site
you've been howling all night
inconsistencies will always be attached to your life
if you're running don't hide
cause the probability of getting caught is so high
oh and at least i fucking tried
a corrupt intervention when your truth is just a lie
so throw this away
flush it right down the drain
you've perfected your aim
looks like nothings changed
so maybe

wake up
get the crust out of your eyes
it's so late it's like 7:45
this whole place is asleep while i'm alive
i'm lonely but i guess that i'll survive
it's alright if you look me in the eyes
don't be afraid yeah i promise i won't bite
i'm not awake was asleep when you arrived
now i'm half baked & i don't think that i should drive

music video

half baked (prod. siem spark x rj pasin)

tapeworm (p. ryan ansel)

lyrics
--------
december left me cold
lying in the snow
you left me here alone
freezing through my coat
the ice inside my throat
ain't melting anymore
these bones of mine are old
and time will take it's toll

this story's mine to tell
and i'll tell it for forever
when the time comes
we can measure
how my pain is now your pleasure
and i know
nothing in this world will ever bring me back
from what you took can't take it back no more
can't take it back no more
can't take it back no more
cause i am not the man i was
i'm merely pantomiming him for show

warm wishes

sad chill - https://youtu.be/H34VCsKB-LU?si=SPS1DPDgo66C6ok3

lyrics ⬇️ (raw vocals)

strugglin since i was 16 everyone say im addiced
wish that i had me a team that push me way farther than all my conflictions
maybe its just my condition keepin me from all my dreams
momma jus trust me if i was addicted i would be flooded with beans
life gettin harder out here but ima keep balancin on the beam
stupid crishendo makin me feel like i dont got nowhere to be
i dont got doors anymore cuz my parents do not trust me
and now i can hear the whole house
& it’s getting harder to sleep

yea but i get it i broke all my vows
never told you what this was about
it comes from the heart i dont gotta shout
just listen to words that come out my mouth

i know your not proud
but what should i do
it tears me apart you look in my eyes and dont got a clue
happy on the outside 
but sufferin in
i always wondered what it feels like on the other side of this

look at me like I failed 
maybe its cuz i did
and mom im sorry that i bailed
i really wish i didn’t
i know you think we feel different
but really often its the same
Ik i need a lot of shiftin
I know i need to feel shame
honestly i got a sickness

never grew up in the trenches
but i was out hoppin the fences 
knew what is bad and 
knew where the best is
its hard to tefrain
Im sorry im tempted
ill never go back i dont feel the same
My life is dependin
i get tbrough pain 
by lookin above
i dont need drugs i just need god
hes riddled with love

strugglin since i was 16 everyone say im addiced
wish that i had me a team that push me way farther than all my conflictions
did i say 16
matterfact meant to say 13
when i was 13 my brother had hand me my first spliff

i Thought it was great i filled up my plate
then it went wrong i sat at the pond 
and hit out the bong 
made a mistake
might be late 
way to late to go on
i wanted to stop i wnated to drop all the feelings i caught
but they all caught ahold of me
“i couldnt do it”- bologna  
you cant just stick to it partially gotta get rid of all of it
gotta make sure its gone
gotta make sure its out
dont need no bong
touchin my mouth

letter to my loved ones (yunnygoldz)

Lyrics

What do I do? I don't even know
I don't have a home, I got nowhere to go
I been holdin' it in, I don't know how to cope
With the pain that's within every ounce of my bones

Don't look up to me, I am the epitome
Of all the reasons everyone got rid of me
Don't say you care cause I know you just pity me
God if you're there tell me why you did this to me

I'm a loser, I know I'm a mess
Only at this computer know how to confess
All the things I can never get off of my chest
Life is a game I just wanna reset

Pushing away any entity tryna be friends with me
See everyone as an enemy
Tired of fighting though, I wanna stop
At this point I don't know if I can turn it off

I'll never be who I wanted to when I was wanting you all I could dream of was holding you
I couldn't change all the hoe in you, I was just boring you, how did I ever see love in you?

Never was there when I needed it, pain you were feeding it 
My heart was yours, you were beating it
I feel like X you were eating it, I kept repeating it
Knife in my back, I'ma leave it in

God I don't know where I went wrong in life
But I need to figure it out but I can't figure it out
I just been losing myself, all been doing well
Tryna call god, think I'm going to hell

But I don't want to, no I don't wanna
I just succumb to all the weight I'm under
I'm not an angel, baby I'm a monster
From another angle, I'm a motherfucker

That's just how this thing go, I'm just on the river
Might let this pain go, I might pull the trigger

spotify.

bones. | Produced by septfree

on the edge [these days] (p. jxgo)

Produced by tennis player

Lyrics

Truth is I'm a liar
I can't go to heaven my soul already on fire
This is shit, I can't even get a grip
I been walking on a cliff and I think that I'm bouta slip

Like woah, I can't hold on
No more I'm so done
Go just like everyone else
We went through the same thing but you ain't feel what I felt

You don't know the cold in my bones
You don't know the ghost in my home
You don't feel the hate in my veins
You don't know my story, we ain't even on the same page

I just wanna feel alive
I don't wanna feel like this, I'm dead inside
Maybe in another life
I won't need to think about another life

Maybe you won't leave me for another guy
Maybe you won't tell my ass another lie
Maybe I won't give a bitch another try
Maybe I won't give a shit and you'll just die

Bird brain, head cage, I'ma let it fly
I don't think about the pain tonight
I can't get away from the pain inside
All I feel is hate, I just wanna say goodbye

I can't heal with all the pain I deal with
I don't wanna feel it no more, I wanna kill it
Death to what's in me, demons I know many
But one's always closer than the others, like a brother

Truth is I'm a liar
I can't go to heaven my soul already on fire
This is shit, I can't even get a grip
I been walking on a cliff and I think that I'm bouta slip

Like woah, I can't hold on
No more I'm so done
Go just like everyone else
We went through the same thing but you ain't feel what I felt

You don't know the cold in my bones
You don't know the ghost in my home
You don't feel the hate in my veins
You don't know my story, we ain't even on the same page

I just wanna...
I don't wanna feel like this, I'm....
Maybe in a...
I won't need to think about a...

anotherlife.

i only let u down

produced by michael harrison

lyrics

two open windows
cars pass by
just give me a little time
im having a hard life

and if im being honest it hurts me to see you with them
its not fair to you but i care too much
and i wanna stop that
i dont want combat i just want you to come back
one day youll be with me
and ill be a rapper
i tell her im nothing
then she shows me the factors
and im in denial
and shes a reactor

and she tells me she hates me and i think its cause i care too much
i talk too much

too, too much (micharl harrison)

(lyrics)
you're not the one I fell in love with
share their face but you are both different
I would trade one year for a minute
for the old you but she went missing

where could she have gone
ain't seen you in so long
I'm where you belong
I'm on our hilltop

I've searched land and sea
and all that I found 
was disappointment hidden in some seashells

but you're gone my love
I don't think you're coming back
am I searching for someone 
who doesn't love me back

who do I call when I'm broken back down
broken by who I love

I can't be wondering why can't it be the same again

I need to let the past go
need to walk a new road
why can't I let you go
holding onto the rope

I used to love your pretty eyes
now all I can do is despise
the way you sit in your disguise
your smile lines 
you write your lies

you're not the one I fell in love with
share their face but you are both different
I would trade one year for a minute
for the old you but she went missing

where could she have gone
ain't seen you in so long
I'm where you belong
I'm on our hilltop

I've searched land and sea
and all that I found 
was disappointment hidden in some seashells

but you're gone my love
I don't think you're coming back
am I searching for someone 
who doesn't love me back

the search (poppyozu)

aminata comedie musicale titre 6

lyrics -

(oh i want u)

i want u x8

everytime i look
i see the same shit
the same faces
the same places
oh i don't feel right, need some space please
but it's more than i thought i wanted
oh i loved and lost it
got a little cautious
but i found the right one in the ashes to indulge in
do u wanna see stars in the moonlight?
do u wanna see love in the purest form?

so ur lost again
so ur lost again
and i won't let u see the end

i want u x8

u say it's alright
i see u outside babe
u wanna just drive
u forget the pieces of ur mind that
take away ur innocence
and u strive to find then waste away
i'll try to help if i can ok?
it isn't too hard to see the bigger picture
it isn't too hard when i'm with ya

i want u x8

i want u

my spam soundcloud <3
pls dm me on insta @ juliaalex.a b4 sampling any of my songs, tyy!

i only let u down

juli♡

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