Earthen

LORNA SHORE - Pain Remains I, II, III  The Trilogy

prod @janeremover

flaws and mistakes
we’re not human 
give me time and i’ll change
there’s some days that i hate
shit that i can’t control like acne on my face

and problems that come with my skin and my race
so many suicide notes i threw away
cus I ain’t ever wanna be a burden
people say they care for me
don’t know that shit for certain
anymore

if i didn’t text her
then I wouldn’t get a text back
but i should expect that now
cus’ friends are forever or that’s what they say
then so why my all my friends end up hurting me?
i screamed out for help while you dug out my grave
i hate the last thing that I saw was your face
and you tossed our memories and my corpse away
and nailed down my coffin to make sure I stayed

maybe finally i can finally get time to myself
got my finger on the trigger if i shoot i’ll kill the old me
i’ve been tryna move on but slowly
and yeah i may avoid home, it’s lonely :(
don’t feel like myself feel like a phony
(x2)

flaws + mistakes

prod me

sick & haven't been able to record much of anything for some time now, but i wanted to get something out both for myself, and possibly you;
been sitting on this one for a while
hope you enjoy.
take care

hey, i'll trade you for your sorrows
i've grown used to feeling that
and if we're talking 'bout tomorrows
i've grown used to losing them too

the voices i read with my ears, tend to bleed
choking up every piece of the letters i speak
wasn't always afraid of the pictures i paint
guess the brush needs a wash, mutilate, then repeat

hate when i reach out again
people speculate my head
you're not me, you're not my friend
frequently, wish i was..

thoughts reflected through my brain
too bad they can't do the same
shattered past and future pains
guide me home through rough terrain

i'm ugly with words
keep it blunt, little passive
hoping that i'll make it up with some actions
feel so trash, bounce back like elastic
i'm doing that for the sake of my casket
hurting myself in a hope i'll be gone
suck how the ones that we trust do you wrong
playing along
it's not even fair i can bare all the tears that i've once undergone

this life makes me sick; can't trade it
i've been pushing through the lame shit
stay averted; bad relations
let my room for hate stay vacant
pour it all on my own psyche
ain't no one 'round here feel like me
it's not a nice thing
never sight-see inside my mind
i'm mostly agonizing

i told them it'd be okay
it sure as hell don't feel that way
your limitations never stay
you're pulling pins to thought grenades

it's all the same
cast a wave and send me to a sunken grave
only then i'll know my place

woke up in a sweat so cold
in a room pale white, and a heart full of woe
passed out 'round noon, now i'm ten on my toes
from the sun's red hue, passed through what imposed
any chafe on my brain by the stains from the mulch
what kind of weight doesn't make you implode?
phasing a gate into heaven's abode
but that ain't a place i ain't think imma know

i haven't changed my sheets in like a week or two
(get outta bed)
summer's passed, and suddenly, our meanings too
(it's all that i have)

my eyes stayed tied into my mind
to undermine it's barbed wires

i'm trying to be what i need
choosing escape over delicacies
they weren't a choice i would seek
nothing was ever created for me

(4x)
i'm trying to be what i need

mulch

When No Birds Sang

Spend The Grace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Bd5PWLwBA

[prod. jpjp & deadfish]

i'm geist:
a broken design
step aside and rewind
but time doesn't seem to heal
the body's inside
and the blood is on your hands
so don't tell me that this isn't real

it's not the same, no
tell me where did my mind go?
cause i seem to have lost control
why won't the pain go?
i swear i've waited the time love
but i can't seem to take anymore

so say can i save myself now?
(envy) i think it's far too late you'll drown
but i need them to hear me out
(envy) don't make a sound just shut your mouth

notenvy:
my frame is fractured like kaleidoscope
the only sense of matters left my brain
i swear i'm losing hope
i’m doing fine, oh you don't want to know
the shit that i've been going through
i'm gripping on, i've lost control
another day intoxicated
do you ever think of me
my structure’s slowly breaking
another breath is wasted
screaming from my chest
i fucking wish someone would save me

kais:
i hate it when you talk to me, but talk to me some more
hands to my ears and my face to the floor
love it when they lie to me, so lie to me some more
you fucked me up and put me through the ground
scream for help, but it never makes a sound
you took it wrong, I didnt mean it that way
silent with the pressure, but I let it stay
imma let it till it breaks me
down, I know you want me here but I never come around
im sorry and I owe you that. that’s what this shits about
I walk slow with my teeth glued to my mouth
I don’t talk cus the rooms always too loud
loud
loud

deadfish:
and i'm waking up
heart's fucking numb
it's only 7am
but I can't seem to lay down

anxious bout the day
what's gonna happen today
I just can't get a break
everything's still the same

mind is racing if today you're gon reply to me
nothing points to that but I'll wait just in case

if u had a change of mind
blood is pouring out my eyes
phone is charged all the time
cause I'm waiting for

for you to reply
please stop wasting my time
it just wasn't enough
and I can't make up my mind

you said that nothing has changed
but I don't feel the same
but I am keen to believe cause I'm
just hopeless

funeral:
i get so deep in this shit and i'll never get out
now i'm stuck and i'm waiting
i never think i just act and i ask if i'll make it
or maybe i'm wasting
my time right here, right now
blood leak, blood flow, lights low, lights out

it's way too obvious to me
the way the bodies dust, i bleed
i need one second alone now
one shot, now i'm dead, body goes down

sewerperson:
rust gives way to the chains that hold me
for yesterday could not control me
toxins permeate
the armoured skin that covers me
u poor man ur final day
is ended here from under me
woah bring out the big guns
im in the mood to erase something
huh just try to say something
u getting face fucked
blunt getting laced up
put u in swamp water face up
no matter the chaos faced
i wouldn’t give up
for time will tell
of better days
from here I smell
the autumn rainfall
it helps me stay strong

SPOTIFY

time will tell w/ i'm geist, notenvy, kais, deadfish, funeral, sewerperson

production + mixing by @lunamatic
recorded + written by me

words
wish i could go back and be sixteen again
when i had no worries bout my future plans
this cycle keeps going it doesn’t seem to end
wishing I cherished the time that we spent
i never noticed how fast that it went
i move without thinking my thoughts on a whim
child of god but the lord knows i’ve sinned
the nights that i tried to take my life
said that i’m fine while dying inside
it isn’t healthy i know i need help
but I’d rather suffer alone, by myself
don’t want you to care
don’t wanna share
my visions clear
talk but don’t hear
you know the rest
miss all my friends
wish it would end
the suffering begins

i’m not good at saying goodbye
too scared of death, not ready to die
but one day I know that i’ll flatline 
when i die, i don’t want you to cry
don’t be worried i’m doing alright

im tired of funerals
and wearing all black
and hospital beds
i hate this damn universe
i watched my friends die and i couldn’t even stop it
and i don’t know what’s next for me, running out of options
wish they could’ve grown up and blossomed
so this song is for them, I’m not stopping

:(

Incantations of Ichor