This is what the inside of my head sounds like every time I go into the yoghurt aisle of the supermarket and see this brand of yoghurt. Don't even ask me what 'the cho in Chobani' means.

The Cho In Chobani

Stupid Cat Songs

A Cat Called Graham

This is an imaginary public service announcement encouraging people to remember their three most important personal items when leaving their homes.

Keys, Wallet and Phone

I learned this song in primary school. German or Austrian in origin, it's often taught to children. Each part is meant to sound like an instrument – the violin, clarinet, horn, trumpet and drum. (When I was in primary school I played the trumpet bit.) I was inspired to record it because I saw some recorders in the window of my local op-shop and remembered I still had one. As you can see, I have not got any better at playing the recorder since primary school.

Recorder Choir Orchestra Song

I really do apologise to Ramin Djawadi and Brad Fiedel for this horrible mashup of their respective themes.

Game Of Terminators

One of the many, many stupid cat songs I make up in the course of a day spent at home alone with my cat.

Graham Pickup

When my cat sits with his legs tucked under him, he resembles a lozenge, hence the George Harrison pastiche. It's just a fragment – I couldn't be bothered doing the whole song.

My Sweet Loz

The loneliest choir – me multi-tracked singing an arrangement of the South African national anthem that I remember learning in school 15 or more years ago.

Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika

Multi-tracked Bulgarian song, 'The Wedding', adapted from Bulgarian TV and Radio Choir's 'Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares'.

Svatba

A jingle I wrote for raisin toast, the toast I like most.

incrediblemelk

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