I recently experienced sleep paralysis for the first time, while napping in the middle of the day. It started out as a normal dream: 
I was on a beach. The sun was just beginning to set, dyeing the sky with pastel pinks, blues, and oranges. I stood at the edge of the water and felt the tide lapping at my toes. In my peripheral vision, I saw people standing to my sides, people I didn't know, whose features I couldn't make out.
For some unknown reason, as a group, we began walking into the sea. As we took slow, rhythmic steps into the water, I began to wonder who these people were, and why we were doing this. I looked up into the sky, and noticed it was softly flashing. That's when I became self-aware, and there was this feeling, almost like a snap that reverberated through my entire mind and body. I realized that the sky doesn't look like this, that I was dreaming, and that suddenly, I was lucid.
I didn't know why we were walking into the sea; it seemed like some strange mass suicide that I no longer wanted any part of. I began to sprint through the shallow waves, seeing and feeling myself move ahead of the group. When I felt I was far enough away, I jumped and tried to fly into the sky. I broke through the surface of the water, and with a feeling of jubilation, I started to soar away as the others disappeared into the deep. This only lasted a few seconds, however, before I felt myself growing unsteady. I tried to regain control, but I couldn't manage to straighten out. I felt gravity take control as I fell belly first into the water.
In an instant, I felt myself laying on my back. There was a strange sensation all over my body, like the vibration one feels when they knock a joint hard enough on a table or doorjamb, when the impact send jolts up your entire limb. I sensed that I was in my room, in my bed, but I couldn't see anything except blackness. 
The thought that I was stuck between the dream and the real world slowly emerged from the back of my mind, filling me with dread. I felt that if nobody came around to pull me out of this haze, I would be stuck here forever, surrounded by darkness, my body constantly jolted with this strange pins-and-needles sensation. I tried to call out to anyone: my brother, my friends, my family. I tried to tell them that I was stuck here, and I needed their help. I could hear the words echo in my mind, but I felt my mouth stay shut, my words trapped behind my teeth. I realized that I was alone here, stuck between my dream and my reality.
That's when I felt my bed disappear into thin air, right from under me. I felt myself fall and fall and fall so fast, that I could feel the rush of air contort my face, even from behind. I tried to scream, but I could only hear the sound in the back of mind, building up inside my head.
And just like that, I woke with a jolt, completely still. My heart was fluttering, I was out of breath, and I could still feel the vibration, growing fainter and fainter as I started to lift myself up. I looked at my alarm clock; I had only been asleep for a half an hour.
This experience got me wondering about the nature of sleep paralysis, out-of-body experiences, and false awakenings. I wondered there was anyone out there who could trigger these events as they would a lucid dream, and use them to separate their mind from their self and view their life in the third person, and, sort of, introspect and meditate.  I wonder if it's something I could do, if I practiced enough; I was once an avid lucid dreamer. It's a weird question (and hobby) to have, I know, but that's where I drew the inspiration for this song (well, mostly the title). Enjoy!

Some Nights, I Sit Outside Myself

You ever smile at someone, say, to ensure them that you're okay, when you're really not? Or they're talking on and on about something you don't get, or aren't interested in, and you're smiling just to humor them?  Or you're upset at them, but you don't want to make a big deal of it, so you smile and move on?  
When you turn away from that person, do you keep that smile?
For me: when I turn away, the smile fades, but not back to a resting face. It almost literally turns upside down. It's like a light: when it dies out, the room grows darker than if it had never shone at all. It's not sad. But, I don't feel good about it, either. More like, disingenuous. It's weird.
Fun Fact: I almost named this song "Smile Decay." But, I googled "Smile Decay" and found nothing but pictures of rotted out teeth. I don't want anyone to associate me with bad oral hygiene, so...yeah.

My Smile Fades When I Turn the Other Way

Named after my dog.
Bandcamp is now live! Free download available at: https://indeplastic.bandcamp.com

Coops

I was sick this weekend, so I took the opportunity to write some vaporwave. This track comes with a bit of a story:
During the time that I was absent from most, if not, all social media, I WAS writing music, but I wasn't confident enough to post any of it. I tried a lot of different sounds and basically sharpened my writing, mixing, and mastering skills. One of the genres I figured I'd try out was vaporwave. The only thing is, I don't like sampling other people's music, which is kind of one of the main staples of vaporwave's sound. So, how I went about doing this is I wrote an original song, saved it, and then chopped and screwed and remixed it to make a vaporwave track.  That was a while back, and I don't have that song anymore. But, over on the vaporwave subreddit, I asked if my method still qualified as 'vaporwave.' They told me to post it and they would decide. So, I made THIS track.
Ｅｎｊｏｙ！

sick weekend

ｓｉｃｋ ｗｅｅｋｅｎｄ

Hopefully this'll be the credits song for Kyu-Kyu in Dream VS Dream.
UTAUloid is Skittles, by Elangieful.

KyuKyu!

Damn, how long's it been? No matter, it's good to be back.

CREDITS:

Composer/Vocals: Sean Carrigan
Producer: Sean Carrigan, Raul Ramirez, Jiovani Ramirez
Lyrics: Sean Carrigan, Raul Ramirez, Jiovani Ramirez

LYRICS:

I knew it was wrong, but it just felt so right. It meant nothing at all, I was biding my time. Took a hit to my pride and pushed it aside. I'd have to be content just to fantasize. Holding out for paradise, hoping it would set me right. Selfish thoughts into the night. Thought I'd be alone until I die. Sinful desires. Didn't mean much. I was doomed, anyway. So, I just resigned to never know love. I'd just keep it all inside of my head. Nevertheless...I'm dropping illusions. Pretense is all but gone. I won't hide this any longer, not for them, or anyone at all.

Fantasize

The opening for a school project, entitled Jack the Ripper - The Silent Killer. It is a podcast about the Jack the Ripper canon.

Jack the Ripper - The Silent Killer - Opening Song

A neato piano arrangement of the Yume Nikki save theme, aka "Yume Nikki."

Yume Nikki ~Rain on the Balcony~

Now available on Bandcamp! http://103records.bandcamp.com/album/copacetic

Instrumental version of Copacetic.

Copacetic

Copacetic (Instrumental)

Now available on Bandcamp! http://103records.bandcamp.com/album/copacetic

First indePLASTIC song in two years WHOOP WHOOP In a way, it feels like being Kevin and the Robots for a year and a half made me a better indePLASTIC. I have a lot of cutting room floor material for K&R (almost an LP's worth), some inde stuff, and another project I plan to unveil down the line, so stay tuned!

---
LYRICS:
I crafted a response to give to you,
And it only took me a month or two.
Oh, I should've let it go,
But I had something to prove to you.

So, I've been running in circles as fast as I can.
I've bearing the choice like it's still in my hands.
I've been holding my breathe like I'm sinking in quicksand.
I've been trying to, but I've learned I can't keep it all copacetic.
No, I never get it.

I do it to myself.
The thought creeps in and I follow it down.
It always goes down the same old trail.
No, it's never rational.

So, of course you're gonna move on,
I said I didn't want it.
The truth is, at the time you said it,
I really wasn't ready yet.
I can't help but be happy for you,
But the FOMO could cut me in two.
Oh, no...
I should really talk to you...
---

So, for anyone that cares to read this, this song is a bit of a continuation of my last song, which you might notice is just shy of a June release. My original intent with Fantasize was to have it be a song in honor of Pride month, but I chickened out because I was afraid coming out at that time would prove volatile for my family situation given I had just moved out of my parents' house, left the family religion, and cut A LOT of people out of my life, all very suddenly. Well, now that the dust has cleared and I know who my real friends and family are, I am no longer afraid to admit that I am bisexual.

Wow, that feels good to type in a public setting lol It's out there, even if it's not widespread, there it is. I'm bi.

This mix is very raw, it was made in only four hours
Mastering made it a lot better, worth the five bucks

Hirow Beat Battle 3

Living as a neurologically divergent person is hell with the wrong people. That's kev in the picture, I already had a concept for him before, but this one's special cause I drew it with a Crayola marker day 8/9 in the psych ward. This is a new project, and until I say so, the only project you can expect from me. If you don't like cuss words, heavy handed emo biters, and uncomfortable amounts of psycho-sexual imagery, you're free to pass on it.

i dont fuckn no

clandestine kev - executive assistant

A song about a guy/girl who, seeing how everyone around him/her works their lives away for someone who is never satisfied, finds himself too lazy to pander and decides to leave.

Credit to soundbyter.com for the supermarket sound sample, and ChezzieChan/PaintedCz for Czloid.

LYRICS:
Both: So what's the point of pandering?
Cause busy bees have no company.
My mind is frail, my body weak.
I'm all obsessed with what's in front of me.
Sean: (I am.)

Both: So tell everyone I just kinda quit.
Although I am sure, the story won't fit.
Cz: (The pieces are broken.)

Cz: Would someone explain to me why
They all have to work till they die?
Can someone tell if they lived at all?

With busy bees and lazy flies,
I don't know why everyone tries.

Both: We all know the Queen Bee's never satisfied,
Cause her pitiful slaves don't know what's on her mind.
We all know the Queen Bee's never satisfied,
Cause her pitiful slaves don't know what's on her mind.

[English UTAU] Busy Bees and Lazy Flies (feat. Czloid) - Final Mix

Solo musician from Southern California.
Acts include:
indePLASTIC - Jazz inspired electronic music
Kevin and the Robots - Electronic post-hardcore

indePLASTIC Music

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