PARANOID THOUGHTS

cant.let.go (prod. Raspo)

CHOICES (DEMO)

TAMMED PT2

EZ4U

INCOMPLETE

INTRO

NO NAME (REMASTERED)

BROKEN TRUST

Last Night

WITHDRAWLS (ONETAKE)

MY HEART!

05.LOST OUR WAY

KISSING THE SEA.

GOD RESPONDS (P2)

Everyday I'm getting weaker
A truth seeker no hid n seek
I am a truth speaker 
Hopefully to see the youth
Get a little bigger but what if
I stopped and pulled the trigger
I.am subsiding saying goodbye to music
God has closed the door for me
I'll take another one and hit the floor
This it, no more goodbyes no more hello
This is not for show, 
I'm tired of no body hearing me
The must fear me? Why tho?
Just used mis used and abused one
The lost one, fuck it, i guess I'm broke again
Lost the only thing that was keeping me from
Saying hi to the demons again 
I tried to pray no answer
I rang the doorbell and kicked off the hinges 
I'm off the rails going Mia never fails
Iwont leave a trail just bring flowers
Present them in a manor
So they know this one is coward 
For taking g his own life
Leaving behind a future family 
Because he's overwhelmed 
No one heard his crys
No one will read his testament 
So let this be his testament 
He tried, he cried now he sighed
In relief that this may be His goodbye
He told me to tell you
Don't cry, you didn't even try
You closed the door to his name
Didn't even cross your eyes
Deep inside his pain
You'll be cursed with his guilt and shame
This ain't a matter about making it up 
What's done is done, no remorse 
Just the door that's closed tight
Deadbolt of course
You may think it's crazy
What I think is crazy
Is a 1000 friends no words
Just a hazy cloud 
Locked in the silence
Through the darkness 
Inside the eye lids
The voices got to loud 
I'm sorry you have to read this
Please don't do it out loud
Please I know hear my voice in your heart
That's the god in me talking to you
You saved me a plate not even a seat
I'm tired broken and incomplete 
That's why I made the decion
Over my actions with precision 
This is not a song
It's a suicide not
If i dont make it
This my obituary 
Don't put me in no cemetery
Put me in a box under my mom's house
If not possible then set me on fire
Because when I had a buring desire
No one came for me that's alive
I was visited by God and told me to come home
Do ask why just be at peace
Sprinkle my ashes In your blunt
So I'll be in your lungs
Work my way through your blood
Resign your heart give you a poke
You exhale smoke
Remember if I can do it
So can you.


I AM DONE (OBITUARY)

I’m standin’ in the shadows,
heart heavy like a stone,  
Tryin’ to find the words,
 but I’m feelin’ alone,  

Jesus, I’m here,
 and I’m askin’ for your grace,  
Lookin’ in the mirror,
 see the shame on my face.  

Life’s a twisted road,
 I veered off track,  
Took a path of sin,
 now I’m fightin’ to get back. 
 
I’ve been lost in the chaos
, drownin’ in my pride,  
But deep down I know
, I can’t run, can’t hide. 
 
I’m sorry for the times 
I turned my back on you,  
For every selfish thought
, every lie that I drew.  
When I was chasin’ dreams
 that led me to the dark,  
I forgot about your love
, the light ignitin’ my spark.  

I remember the moments,
 when I felt your embrace,  
But I strayed like a sheep,
 lost in the wrong place.  

I was caught up in the hustle,
 blinded by the shame,  
But all that glittered gold
, left me feelin’ the same.  

I turned my back on love
, let the hate seep in,  
Forgot the sacrifice,
 the price you paid for my sin.
  
Every time I stumbled,
 every tear I cried,  
You were there in the silence,
 but I pushed you aside. 
 
I’m sorry for the doubts,
 the times I lost my faith,  
When life got too heavy, 
I forgot your grace.  
Now I’m standin’ here
, with my heart wide open,  
Tryin’ to mend the bond,
 every word unspoken.  

I’m ready to repent,
 let the past be the past,  
With every single verse, 
I’m hopin’ this will last.  
  
I know your love’s eternal, like the stars in the night,  
But I’ve been lost in the darkness, tryin’ to find the light.  

I see the cross you bore, the thorns and the pain,  
And I’m filled with regret, like I’m drownin’ in the rain.  

I’ve been chasin’ shadows, runnin’ from the truth,  
 I’m ready to embrace it, let me find my youth.  

I’m tired of the struggle
, tired of the fight,  
I wanna walk with you
, Lord, step into the light.  
So here’s my confession

, laid bare on the floor,  
I’m askin’ for forgiveness,
 knockin’ on heaven’s door.  
With every single lyric, 

I’m pourin’ out my soul,  
Tryin’ to find my way,
 but I’m losin’ control.  

Help me rise above, 
let the past fade away,  
I’m ready for redemption, 
Lord, I’m here to stay.  

I’m kneelin’ down, prayin’ for a sign,  
Tryin’ to find redemption,
 Lord, I’m seekin’ the divine.  
With every breath I take,
 I’m reachin’ for your hand,  
Apologies to Jesus,
 help me understand.  

help me understand

NOT ALONE

(Verse 1)  
In the quiet of the evening
, shadows start to play,  
The world feels heavy, 
like it’s holding on to yesterday.  
I watch the sun sink slowly, 
painting skies in gold and gray,  
But every hue reminds me, 
of the words we didn’t say.  
You packed your bags in silence
, like a thief in the night,  
Leaving echoes of laughter, 
fading out of sight.  
I reach for the memories
, but they slip through my hands,  
Like grains of sand in the hourglass, slipping from our plans.  

(Chorus)  
Before you go, can you hear my heart call?  
It’s whispering your name, through the rise and the fall.  
Before you leave, let’s chase the stars tonight,  
Let’s find the dreams we buried, beneath the fading light.  

(Verse 2)  
We danced on the rooftops
, with the city at our feet,  
Every moment a treasure, 
every heartbeat a beat.  
But the clock keeps on ticking,
 as the shadows start to creep,  
And I’m left here wondering,
 how to wake from this sleep.  
You wore your heart like armor, 
strong but full of cracks,  
And I thought love could fix it, 
but now you’re turning back.  
The words we left unspoken,
 

(Chorus)  
Before you go, can you hear my heart call?  
It’s whispering your name, through the rise and the fall.  
Before you leave, let’s chase the stars tonight,  
Let’s find the dreams we buried, beneath the fading light.  

(Bridge)  
And if I could rewrite the pages, of the story that we penned,  
I’d hold you close forever, never let this love end.  
But the road is calling you, and I can’t change your mind,  
Still, I’ll hold on to the moments, the ones we left behind.  


fading light

(Verse 1)  
I was a shadow, 
fading in the corners of your light,  
Chasing echoes of your laughter, 
drowning in the night.  
Every whisper felt like thunder, 
every silence cut so deep,  
I was lost within your heartbeat, 
a promise I could never keep.  
The mirror showed a stranger, 
a ghost of who I used to be,  
Wearing masks of your approval
, while I longed to just be free.  
the chains of your affection 
wrapped tighter every day,  
As I wandered through your memories,
 I slowly slipped away.  

(Verse 2)  
In the ruins of our moments, 
I started to see the cracks,  
The colors of my spirit fading
, as I painted over facts.  
I was the artist of my sorrow, 
crafting smiles from the pain,  
the canvas of my heart
 was soaked in shades of gray and rain.  
I remember when I laughed
, it felt like a distant dream,  
Caught in the web of your desires
, I forgot how to just scream.  
But the silence grew so loud,
 it shattered through the night,  
And in that broken moment,
 I began to see the light.  

(Verse 3)  
I took a step into the chaos
, unafraid of what I'd find,  
Every piece of me forgotten, 
now a treasure left behind.  
I danced among the fragments,
 let the pieces fall away,  
Reclaimed the strength I buried
, learned to love the scars that stay.  
With every tear that hit the ground
, a weight began to lift,  
I gathered up my scattered dreams, unwrapped my heart's own gift.  
No longer just a memory
, I found my voice, my song,  
In the melody of freedom
, I realized where I belong.  

(Verse 4)  
Now I walk a different path, with shadows at my feet,  
Each step a declaration, every heartbeat bittersweet.  
I’m not the girl you knew, I’ve shed the skin of doubt,  
In the mirror stands a warrior, who knows what life’s about.  
I’m not losing me, I’m finding every piece that’s true,  
In the tapestry of my story, I’m the thread that’s woven through.  
So here’s to all the battles, the moments that I’ve fought,  
In losing you, I found me

GREY (ORIGINAL)

BOOK OF JOHN

echos pt2

light begins

grey (RAW)

So I’ll keep on prayin’, keep searchin’ for light,  
In the depths of the struggle, I’ll find my own fight.  
With faith as my armor, I’ll rise from the fall,  
In this journey of life, I’ll answer the call

**Chorus**  
I’m a dreamer and a believer,  
Jesus the healer, 
I’m a receiver.  
Tomorrow ain’t promised,
 so I shed all my fear,  
John was a Baptist,
 we witnessed it clear.

**Verse 1**  
I speak to God yet 
I don’t know how to feel,  
Prayed with the blood, 
sealed tight like a deal,  
Not tryna provoke,
 just searchin’ for real,  
Sat with a preacher,
 his words like a wheel.  

Spinnin’ through doubts, 
I’m caught in the danger,  
Though I’m His son, 
still feel like a stranger.  
Rabbi’s a teacher, 
snake’s just a creature,  
Angels on bleachers, 
watchin’ for a feature. 

 
In six days the world was crafted,  
All ideas, destiny, 
fate, they’re all drafted.  
Life’s a canvas,
 I’m just paintin’ my vision,  
Chasin’ the truth, 
no matter the division.  
Got my heart in my hand,
 it’s heavy like stone,  
Tryna find my way, 
but I’m lost in the zone.  
Questions in my mind, 
like echoes they roam,  
Is faith just a path, 
or a place to call home?  

**Verse 3**  
I’m searchin’ for answers, 
 the silence is loud,  
In a world full of chaos,
 I’m lost in the crowd.  
Peter was a leader, 
but who do I follow?  
When shadows of doubt 
make my heart feel hollow.    
Long verses, deep thoughts,
 let the truth overflow.  
Instant gratification, 
but I’m seekin’ the real,  
In a world of illusions, 
what’s the deal?

BEILVER (Lost our way pt3)

A MOMENT

LAST SONG AT THIS TIME


beat by Sombre 
beat is by Sombre the exact video
 https://youtu.be/d3HoN7YyL-U?si=sRsCtwg7wHgOV_9R

CAN I HAVE A MIN (Prod.Sombre)

Suicide Letter

This album is all songs that i recorded before i went to rehab on 11/28/19

Where the fuck did we go

Work It Out

this was a great journey with tall. I'll miss you. this was a decade in the making. im going to hold a lot of memories with all. if you find this at a time when a time that I blow up, come back here for the classics. pay attention and don't lose track of yourself.  these were warm-ups. im tired of living with masks and covering up. it's under the real name with real pain from the core.
 Now I am going to make a name for myself with my own projects, im going to get all my stuff coppywrote. I have visions, and im on a plane with ambition. It's going to be different, but embrace change. so this is a memorial. Sometimes, when a door shuts, you have to lock it before you can open the next. I want to be recognized for my talent, not my words.
all these years have been a good road.
I love you, see you on the flip side
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