tried to capture a feeling in this one, not too sure if it worked or not.

abandon

this track is an absolute fucking disaster. i have no idea why it turned out this way, it wasn't anything close to the final result. 

guess i wanted to screw around with my shitty voice some more. clean pitch correction on the vocals was nearly impossible to do without it sounding shitter than it does already. if it sounds out of tune, that's why.

more insight into why i made this, i've realized i'm a certain way and trying to modify and change to fit the norm i've been conditioned to believe is correct would be near impossible without losing key parts of what defines me. there are partitions of me which are inherently stuck and screwed. i get stuck in the prison of my own mind and fight this realization all the time and it becomes taxing. the last thing i would ever want to do is take anyone down that road with me.

/iight now that's enough cringe for now.

onus

i can't stop hating myself because if i stop, i'll lose motivation to keep getting better. or atleast that's what i tell myself to feel better about it. edgy right? lmfao, i'll see myself out now...

artifact

this cover image was kinda fun to make. i took series of pictures from CRT televisions that i broadcast an image to. then i overlay them in photoshop and see what i get. 

this track was inspired by losing a signal. like having a wonderful dream, but you wake from it and realize you can never go back. then little bits and pieces slowly fade in and out and you fantasize what it would really be like.

signal lost

please don't sue me. i'm not worth anything lol. if this violates copyright, i'll happily take it down. i just wanted to have some fun. downloads aren't enabled on this (sorry) i don't want to get a strike on my page.

NIN has always been a massive inspiration for me, ever since i started listening to music actually. so when i came across these stems, it was ecstasy.

i love the original track by NIN, so i wanted to give this track a thick, aggressive, in your face texture that wants to rail you sideways, but still cares in the end.

and finally, sorry about the dogshit audio quality, soundcloud is screwing me over right now and i have to reload this project and re-encode the wav. for now this mp3 will fill the void.

Nine Inch Nails - Head Like A Hole [XEFMIX]

sorry again for the abysmal upload schedule. too many projects, not enough time. along with many other personal life things that i won't get into deal with because who the fuck cares, am i right? lmao.

i've held onto this one for quite a while. i don't remember making the intro, but the growling sound design made my machine suffer for dear life. there's like four different synths creating the sound which i layered, routed, compressed, manipulated and mixed in real time, no mixdowns at all(because i can). 

i think i was having a manic episode when i made this shitshow, so that explains the madness behind it all.

phantasm

this is my third time uploading this track and second time remixing it because it'd get flagged in the copyright system. i'm still totally stoked i even got my claws on these original stems...

whatever tho. if it's really a big deal i guess the label can contact me directly, i'm not making any money off this either. just wanna have fun.

Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds [XEFMIX]

more incoherent auditory fuckery.

i have no idea what this is. in a state of insomnia while making this, probably made some edits after i routinely wake a 3am for no reason at all.

also, it's live not lift.

void

i hate to say this as i feel i have a commitment to upload better tracks and keep creating. i feel like i'm letting those down who enjoy listening to what i do, having nothing new to look forward to.

it's actually been a while since i've made anything new. most of what i've been uploading the last few months are tracks i've made roughly six or more months ago. reason being, i'm on on new medication that helps balance out shit in my head. 

it keeps my crippling anxiety and destructive depression in check, but it compromises my ability to be creative, or hold onto the creative flow i was able to get into. when i find it, it's difficult to hold onto it and keep it around. i'm such a perfectionist, i've started multiple projects and end up resenting them, never finishing them because i can't find the spark to edit and create a reflection i desire. the one thing i loved the most is getting more and more difficult to hold on to.

it's a love hate relationship. the system has its demands for me to meet so i can survive. medication is needed so i remain stable and meet expectations. if i weren't tied and tethered, i feel as if i would be free. i feel like i'm stuck in the wrong paradigm. there's a lot i've lost due to the new stability, but maybe it's due to it being a whole new reality to me and i need to adapt.

i don't ever plan to stop making music, but, it might take me a while to figure out how.

compromise

Something Uplifting

i've had this track for too long and i'm too pissed off to finish it. i really wanted to put vocals over it, but i don't have the vocal range for it. and even if i did, it'd fuckin suck because i hate the sound of my voice. 

lyrics are in the artwork. been thinking about sentient machines and shit, so this track was inspired by that.

fracture

i started this track a couple years ago and finished it two months ago. yea... it's taken me that long. sorry for lack of uploads.

i feel creative at times, but it never sticks around long enough for me to do anything with. by the time i get something figured out, i'm too tired and pissed off at myself for lacking energy. i haven't picked up my guitar or played piano in what feels like forever. can't find anything to play, nothing to think of, all bland and diluted.

seems like the manic episodes i had gave me the energy and creativity to find an outlet through music creation. i was never really talented, just insane. music production was my drug to cope. 

cringy bitching aside, i have had some 'normalcy' in my life since finally finding functional medication. been able to live a successful, rewarding career. only thing is, feels like i can't express myself anymore. it's beyond demotivating because i know what trying will ultimately result in.

anyways, thanks for being there. and for listening.

splice

alt-reflect

IS SERUM AN INSTRUMENT?!?!!!!!111

yet another terrible idea, retrowave with growls. 

anyways, thanks to donations, i was finally able to purchase serum and i've had a bit of sound design fun and made some growls n'shit.

disarray

i remember listening to the original on repeat years ago. came across it and couldn't stop myself from a bootleg remix.

pls don't sue me. if this track violates copyright, message me and i'll delete it. i can be reasonable.

the original recording/mix of this track is fucking phenomenal, which is why i was able to make this.

Peter Gabriel - The Tower That Ate People - [XEFMIX]

when - instrumental mix

throwing my shit voice on this was a mistake, but i felt like it. i uploaded an instrumental mix just in case. and yes, i did use stable diffusion to generate the artwork, touched up/painted it in photoshop. go ahead and hate me, i dont' care. i just think it's cool to make some neat lookin shit and push my system to its limits. 

edgy lyrics

eminating embers of a fallen phase
dissapating sound through the anemic maze
fragments refracting subtle lost sentience
yearning for expression defiled by transgression

when can i, beg to understand 
when can i, shed this vessle
is this what's called intuition
or is it called, a condition

enigmatic entropy, dissonance psychology
catalog, categorize, prioritize to perscribe
market the disorder feed the fade while
they sell the solution to the problem they made

nowhere to unwind? calculus defined
disinformation excess? manipulative progress
is there a solution? that's the illusion
afraid of the end? where's god to defend

when

doyaeverhavethosedaes

yeah, i have no idea wtf this is supposed to be. i tried to hard to get this shit to sound the way i want, but i can't seem to nail it down. 

idk what's going on in my mind but all the shit i used to enjoy, i don't seem to enjoy anymore. it's weird. i've started so many projects that are half-complete, or completely finished that i hate because i can't seem to put the finishing touches on.

/rant

checked out

acetone dreams (because they're volatile, go up in flames easily and evaporate rapidly... SO EDGY LMAO)

been working on this one for a hot minute, finally got it sounding the way i want. but, i know soundcloud's shitty compression will skullf_ck this down to 128kbps playback and make it sound like trash. they must REALLY hate me...

cringetastic and edgy lyrics for anyone who reads the desc:

acetone dreams and monochrome screams
suffocating constrictor digging claws in 
if i said id didn't want this that would be a lie
i'll be this way until the day i die

its toxic embrace is a beautiful disaster
turning my heart into its trophy of plaster
it taunts and torments it breathes it binds
constantly fracturing my body and mind

these little combinations of words have a deeper meaning to my life that's pretty twisted and depressing, so i won't bother shitposting that here.

acetone dreams

it's happened before, but this time, it hurts so much. more than before. thought it was all under control, but the sad reality always makes its way back. crawling back up is so fucking exhausting, guess it's meant to be this way. forever.

/cringe

anyways, that's my rant. to whoever reads this, thanks for listening. maybe the pain i capture and throw into this noise will be meaningful somehow.

tachyphylaxis

made this a long time ago, thought i'd lost it.

ineffaceable

whevz bro @Skriblenaut

for better quality playback: https://xefsketch.bandcamp.com/track/honesty-time

VOCALS BY VEELA - I DON'T OWN THEM :)

Free 320Kbps DL for best quality <3.

"Buy"/.Wav

honesty & time

this is a bootleg i did of a 1998 track titled Drugstore by one of my favorite metal groups, Stabbing Westward. i fuckin love these guys and this was totally inspired by their amazing work.

i don't own anything here, just re-sampled, added some percussion/drums and growls to it. 


Stabbing Westward - Drugstore - [XEFMIX]

she was quite a unique machine, somewhat sad to see everything fall out like this but shit happens.

guess i need to stop getting overly attached to things like this lol.

regardless i'll always love you, krys, you crazy bitch.

hard feelings

guitars and growls? fuck, why not.

figure'd id step out of my boundaries.

i've been going through some wack shit. i can't express myself any other way. i've been pretty restrained.

restrained

de_classify

too much

been wanting to make something like this for a while. so in about 2hrs.. i did.

only in thought

more sound design n'shit. i love making throaty growling noises.

interpret

dissonance

started this bootleg like, 4 years ago or some shit and came across it - decided to finish it.

Overseer - Velocity Shift [XEFMIX]

decided to have more fun with guitar and go for a grungy vibe. i'd like to work more on this track but my machine keeps spitting BSOD's after some updates. however i am running nearly decade old hardware and software so......

split thoughts

scales, scars, feathers and fur. and a wholelotta cringe.

 I enjoy making music, and screwing around with different sounds. It's how I express myself. If I don't make much money, I don't mind. I just wanna spread the love and make the world a better place <3.  I know it sounds cringe as absolute fuck, but I mean it.

If there's a track on my page that's not downloadable, let me know and I'll fix it.

If you would like to use my work, please give me credit and list the track name. Credit is all I ask for.

For commercial/commission/contract purposes, message me and we can work something out!

Thanks for stopping buy and I hope you enjoy my world of audio!

For better playback quality, check out these accounts:
YOUTUBE PAGE BY A FAN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChVqwqLyT14adFAoJDhWcjA
NEWGROUNDS: 
http://xefsketch.newgrounds.com/
discord: xefsketch (it was: xiephren#5700)
Catch me on twitch for random shit: twitch.tv/xefsketch
Alt acc for more aggressive shit: soundcloud.com/abusementparkofficial
discord server: https://discord.gg/V6y9fHMbhS

Banner artwork drawn by the very talented, Nero "Drayke" Eternity: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/neroeternity/

XEFSketch

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