26 years ago
you pushed me out your uterus
i've never forgiven you for that

i was born in 1984
i read they wrote a book on that
where a dude had his face eaten by rats

and if you buy that book today
you're domestically a terrorist
which is now worse than being black

it turns out i that bought that book
they made me buy it for school
which is kind of like a terrorist attack

not that any of this has to do with mother's day
i just wanted to write you a song for mother's day
it's all your fault i have ADD
it's transmitted genetically
so anyway
happy mother's day

four pours and seven beers ago
i got drunk and i wrote this song
because i'm too cheap to buy a gift

i half graduated every school
the other half i was acting a fool
but when i went broke you still let me move back in

you clean up after me when i'm a slob
i remember that one time i got a job
but a week later i got sacked

i need another verse to this song
can i have some of those pink pills
and some of that tasty cheese and mac
 
not that any of this has to do with mother's day
i just wanted to write you a song for mother's day
it's all your fault i have ADD
it's transmitted genetically
so anyway
happy mother's day

not that any of this has to do with mother's day
i just wanted to write you a song for mother's day
it's all your fault i have ADD
hey where's my mac and cheese?
i love you
happy mother's day





Attention Deficit Mother's Day

(for james and jess)

i saw her there
blue streaks in her hair
trying to get drunk off james porter
who was acting like he didn't care

he said call me hadouken
cause i'm down right fierce
she had more achievements
then she had places pierced
(which was a lot)

she smiled at him and said
je sui napoleon
he laughed and wondered how much dope she was on

she had a stripper pole
and looked about three years old
she said if there's grass on the field then
you should just play ball
he said if there's grass on your field
you should just mow the lawn       

and that night james porter converted to france
admittedly he only wanted inside her pants

so
that night their dance dance revolution was not televised
that night their dance dance revolution was not televised
that night their dance dance revolution was not televised
that night their dance revolution

james grinned as her took her to the back of a subaru
some people say that car was napoleon's waterloo

and nine months later she laid an egg
and the little egg hatched and they named it jess
yea nine months later she laid an egg
and the little baby came out with an ass and breasts

yea nine months later she laid an egg
and the little egg hatched and they named it jess
yea nine months later she laid an egg
and when the little baby came out it was wearing a dress

screaming at the top of her lungs je sui napoleon!!!
to this day we wonder how much dope she is on

tonight our dance dance revolution won't be televised
tonight our dance dance revolution  


8 Bit Love - Rough Mix

if i was a unicorn
i wouldn't go to school
i'd fly to Istanbul
and make fun of all the mules
i'd poop rainbows
magically l ick my elbows
i'd roast marshmallows
on my horn
if i was a unicorn

if i was a unicorn
i'd only eat candy corn
i'd watch equestrian porn
i'd wanna have sex with a horse
i'd live for a thousand years
i'd drink a thousand beers
i'd be a horse with a horn, not a skinny rhino
oooohhhh
if i was a unicorn

if i was a unicorn i'd have some pancake mix!
i'd have a bigger dick
i'd have sparkly pubic hair
i'd pee a chocolate fountain
i'd go to candy mountain
i'd have my kidneys stolen
twice  
it'd be nice
to be a unicorn

if i was a unicorn
i'd never bump my head
my enemies would all be dead
i'd laugh at them as they bled
they would throw in the towel
they would be disemboweled
they would howl as they were impaled by my horn
it'd be badass
to be a unicorn

no homo

If I Was A Unicorn

Will happily help you score your next video game or film project, provided I don't absolutely hate your idea.  I like leitmotifs on the beach.  My favorites include Kondo, Uematsu, et al.

nSpyer

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