Yeah, I'd been going through a rough patch  
But on the final day of the year
Under the Sangre de Cristos 
The air was crisp and clear
Those whitecaps were majestic 
I was walking on tiptoes
A clarity came over me
I was open and exposed

Everything was bigger than me
And taller than I'd ever be
As far as my eyes could see
I felt invisible, floating on the breeze
I know this feeling will eventually pass
Always terrible with my first drafts
But in the moment 
I felt sun splashed
Tiny in a world so vast

I am so paper thin
That a strong gust of wind might send me
Spinning and skimming
And eventually I'll sink within 
It'll end me
But not today
Oh, not today
Oh, not today
This is not the day 
That'll end me

I'm at ease!
And the captain, 
It is not something that I have to be
And if I’m lost at sea 
Well then that's alright 
Even if we lose the light
And for once in my life 
I'm at ease

Paper Thin

​​​​First time, long time
 Big fan of the show 
I just called to let you know 
That I'm letting go 

Before I leave, 
Could you validate this ticket? 
A stamp to prove that I was here 
And left a tiny mark 

Knocked down
Tenth round 
I’m sparring myself 
Eight count
Watch out
 I’m scarring myself

Lorem ipsum 
Playing possum 
Devoid of meaning 
Misbegotten 

First time, long time 
Big fan of the show
 I just called to let you know 
That I'm letting go 

Imposter syndrome
 Everywhere I ever go
 If I could prove myself
 I'd improve myself 
I’ve always been my greatest foe 

Knocked down
Tenth round 
Eight count
Watch out

Lorem ipsum 
Playing possum 
Devoid of meaning 
Misbegotten 

Lorem ipsum 
Playing possum 
Devoid of meaning 
I feel forgotten

First Time, Long Time [Michael Calls In]

Beer and a buddy. Hot peppers in his bloody
James took his medicine at the bar 
His favorite hair of the dog 
Was good old holiday eggnog 
And day after day, months into years 
Oh man, I must've seen him drink 7 thousand beers 

And he used to joke about his sweat 
Tasting like Coors Light
 And each night would cue 
The dimming of the house lights 
That's when he’d stand up and deliver
 Heartfelt monologues to anyone who'd listen
 ‘Til the night tilted & the barlights began to glisten 

What are you running from, James? 
Lacing the blood in your veins 
Morning or evening, the pain's the same 
Lie to the mirror, your truth remains 

Daylight savings and James is falling backwards 
An extra hour of navigating the hazards 
A penny saved is an hour earned 
His dwindling circle of friends, 
They're rightfully concerned 
He'd begin most toasts with a wink 
And then a ceremonial clink 

He'd clear his throat and declare: 
"Better the devil you know" 
And maybe it was all for show 
But even so, the damage was real 
The last time I saw him he was crying at the funeral 
Awww, he had a heart of gold 
Even broken he was beautiful 

What are you running from, James? 
Lacing the blood in your veins 
Morning or evening, the pain's the same 
Lie to the mirror, your truth remains 

Dancing in the dark with
 Dancing in the dark with the devil you know 
The devil you know 

Before he was hollowed
 By those blotto blackouts 
Before the decades got swallowed 
Before the bailouts and washouts 
The nights James recalled feeling most alive 
He was dancing in crowded clubs 
Under the pulsing sound of Disco systems in the dark 

Turned up to 11 
It felt like heaven

Disco Systems In The Dark

It’s not just that I miss you
Now it feels like something’s missing
And there’s no amount of wishing
That could fix things
The only thing left, left to fix is me
Goddamn

​I’m not sure I believe in ghosts
Since you’ve been gone, I talk to you the most
Not sure I believe in ghosts
But now that you’re gone, I talk to you the most

And when I think of you, it’s always back when you were younger
Wild eyed and fully alive, and unencumbered
And now that I believe in ghosts, I talk to you the most
And now that you’re gone … everything is post

(Swept away) Heavenly Father
(Down, down) You feel close, even though you’re farther
(Flash flood) I’m the shore and you’re the water, you’re the water

(Swept away) Heavenly Father
(Down, down) You feel close, even though you’re farther
(Flash flood) I’m the shore and you’re the water, you’re the water

I’m at a loss
Flash flood and you were swept away
I’m at a loss
Losing you was a swift decay
I’m at a loss
And it’s been low, low tide
I’m at a loss since they took you away

Not sure I believe in ghosts

(Not Sure I Believe) In Ghosts

Whatever you’re chasing
Just let it go
There’s rarely resolution
So let it go

​You left me with no coda
Silent as the Sioux
Suffering through the Dakotas
Thought I knew ya
But no one could ever know ya
And you always said that you can’t con a conman
Your delivery it was always so Goddamn deadpan
Well Goddamn

Whatever you’re chasing
Just let it go
There’s rarely resolution
So let it go

​I’ll never understand the ending
There’s too many fences in need of mending
And you had a tattoo that said “Welcome”  Over your left breast
You were an open door, a disheveled guest
So this is it: no closing remark or passage
No uttered adage … just empty space

​Is it black or white?
Is it fight or flight?
The cougar, the coyote at night
Is it black or white?
Is it fight or flight?
The cougar, the coyote at night

All those army men, in the trenches thin
Talking slowly and smoking back when
All those army men, in the trenches thin
Talking slowly and smoking back when

No Coda

How’d I end up in this liminal state?
It’s a heavy, a hollow, weightless place
49 days and then what?
49 days and then what?

If Hesperus is Phosphorus
What does that mean for the rest of us?
Whoa, I’m sick of channel-surfing through these memories
I need to let it be

The sun’s either rising or falling
Morning into evening, always repeating
It’s all just a matter of timing
Living is dying. Son don’t you know?

Am I standing at the threshold but can’t let go?
See the past in tiny flashes:
The cedar elms at dawn
Her still-in-bed sleepy yawn
A child in my arms

Venus, can you ground me?
I feel untethered
Weightless as weather, like January snow
I’m having trouble letting go

The sun’s either rising or falling
Morning into evening, always repeating
It’s all just a matter of timing
Living is dying. Son don’t you know?

I’m holding on, holding on, holding on …

Tiny Flashes

At an early age I went through a Poe phase
Friends & family still call me Ulalume, but you can call me June
These days I'm a bit of a nervous wreck
I got a tongue for biting & hands for writing some bad, bad checks

​Pop some pills; chase the sun; run, run, run 
Until the whole web has been spun, spun, spun 
Steady weaved my way through and endless run of days
Spent most of my childhood chasing the best ways to receive praise

​I could use a place to crash, but I'd settle for some cash
Burned so many bridges I erased the past

​Spent a decade or two floating through  Albuquerque, Sacramento, Lake Havasu
Men coming & going, gravitating & flowing 
Like cattle to the Karasu

Still baby-faced but these grays betray a somber senescence 
Aging isn't the waiving of a white flag, it's an acquiescence

My late Pa, rest his soul, 
Where he lies I'll never know 
He had a simple mantra
An American take on that 'ol Buddhist tantra:
‘Here for a good time, not a long time
The sun is yours. But the moon is mine’

‘Here for a good time, not a long time
The sun is yours. But the moon is mine’

Hear the angels sing 

*The skies they were ashen and sober
The leaves they were crisped and seared
It was night in the lonesome October
Of my most immemorial year*

*Adapted from the poem, Ulalume, by Edgar Allen Poe

Ulalume

Most likely to succeed, 1996.
Thumbing through my yearbook
My friends back then were mostly dicks
Been a lotta twists - been a lotta turns
Bridges burned as the decades churned
Zigging and zagging from our early 20’s
Telling stories of former glories
Hanging on stories, the same old stories
How’d we become so goddamn boring?

Na-na-na-na-na

Nursing a beer, I ask you to doctor me up
Feigning how feeble I was, too weak to lift my cup
I once thought content was the dirtiest word in the book
Now it’s all I seek, it’s the worm on my hook
I need a new mantra, some kind of coda
A master to guide me, my very own Yoda
Some universal truth, the advice you bestow
The odds of me taking, are woefully low

I’m trying to be more selfless and carefree
Nothing revolves ‘round me
I’m trying to be more selfless and carefree
I’m nobody

Na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na
I’m nobody

Most Likely To Succeed

We were standing around just smoking
Under the black-tie night sky
Moonlit and talking shit
Oblivious as Cassiopeia passed us by
And the nighttime heat hung around
Like an uninvited party guest
You looked handsome, but exhausted
I adjusted the boutonniere on your jacket breast

Michael, you don't have wings
And all your slings and arrows of misfortune
Are distortions: 
Of truth - and life - and love

Our driver drove us back home from the wedding
We held hands, but you seemed detached
I was buzzed and in need of reassurance
You were staring out the window, caught in the past
And my thoughts drift like dust through the galaxy
I'm on your side, even through tragedy
Michael, what is it you’re chasing?
Felicity is free, it’s yours for the taking

Michael, you don't have wings!
And all your slings and arrows of misfortune
Are distortions: 
Of truth - and life - and love

Michael, you don't have wings!
And all your slings and arrows of misfortune
Are distortions: 
Of truth - and life - and love

Slings And Arrows

Geoffrey, I'm not sure I'll make it through another winter
It's not that I don't love you. It's not that I'm a quitter
Time has a way of making the years grow thinner
It's a lovely little cycle, all that blooms must wither

And so it is
And soooo it is
Every little light goes off in the distance
And so it is
And soooo it is
Every little light goes off 

​It was all such a senseless chase - the golden fleece
Made peace with the broken hands on this old timeless gold timepiece
Viens ma dormeuse, dans la berceuse
I want to leave this world happy, no need to call the police

​Well, I'm a creature 
I've got my comforts
Kept my enemies close
There was safety in numbers 
They say what doesn't kill you, only makes you tougher 
Well Geoffrey, I'm tough motherfucker

​Burning kinda bright tonight
Burning kinda bright

And so it is
And soooo it is
Every little light goes off in the distance
And so it is
And soooo it is
Every little light goes off

Burning kinda bright tonight
Burning kinda bright

Every Little Light

1. Sunday Best

Appearing on Last of the Lovers by Instant Empire

Lyrics:
No one’s paying attention 
We can do whatever we want
Soaking wet and the rain’s coming down in sheets
Hold my hand, it’s cold and I need your heat
This city’s indifferent, let’s make out in the street

We’re the last of the lovers
Golden at first dawn
They tried to tear it all down
But nothing binds us
Yeah, we can’t be bound

No one’s paying attention 
We can do whatever we want
Let’s buy a bottle, yeah, let’s walk around and drink
I got this formula, I swear that it helps me think:
Movement + alcohol makes everything shrink

We’re the last of the lovers
Golden at first dawn
They tried to tear it all down
But nothing binds us
Yeah, we can’t be bound

No one’s paying attention
We can do whatever we want
I’m not sure if we’ve been blessed or depressed
Second-guessed even in our Sunday best
We should leave this town, it’s always been more mid than west

Sunday Best

2. Spotlight

Appearing on Last of the Lovers by Instant Empire

Lyrics:
I dream I am speeding 
Careening towards a cliff 
White-knuckles, sweating 
Every muscle clenched
Shot toward the sun 
Like a heat-seeking missile 
A hijacked synapse 
Streaking through these temples
The pavement is icing
I’m driving, I’m sliding
My words disappear
As I am typing
The doors have all opened
The neighbors are prying
The pavement is icing
I am fighting off dying

The moon is a spotlight
Talons at midnight

Oh, these small blue pills
Equal nighttime rest
Foggy windshield
And a pillowy headrest
Lazy river womb
An umbilical lifevest
A heartbeat slowing
To a trickle in my chest
Round here, lover
I’m carving out my name
The hunter steadied his rifle 
And he’s pausing to aim
Everything is finite
This is a zero-sum game
Steal from me, brother
I’ll love you all the same

The moon is a spotlight
Talons at midnight carry me away

(c) (p) Copyright 2017 Instant Empire LLC

Spotlight

Instant Empire hails from Denver, CO.
Chroniclers of the human condition since 2011. 
Indie rock.

instantempire

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