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Hugh's Story (1) - Thinking About it

Transcript

(Sandra)
Hello. I'm Sandra I'm 67 years of age I live alone and I work for South 
Lanarkshire council. I'm employed at the moment on the 4th of August 2016.
I was in my daughter's house at my granddaughter's birthday just ready to
go and my family realized I had collapsed. I can't remember a thing about
it but my son-in-law did CPR my daughter phoned 999. I was very lucky
that there was an ambulance was close by so they were down apparently in a few minutes and got me to the hospital. When I had come to, they thought that I would have needed perhaps a stent but on doing the investigations there was nothing required. My heart was fine, an angiogram showed up nothing but then I got transferred back to Wishaw General, then I was sent to the Jubilee for an MRI scan and nothing showed up there either.

(Interviewer)
Had you had any cardiac problems in the past?

(Sandra)
No never.

(Interviewer) No issues with your heart at all ?

(Sandra)
Nothing what so ever never had been I was on blood pressure tablets but you know cause my blood pressure fluctuated at one point it was quite high and so they put me on that as a precaution and that's all I was really on and blood pressure tablets and my diabetic tablets I had no never ever been to the doctors with any problems or any hearts racing or anything like that at all.

(Interviewer)
What did it feel like to find out you did have a cardiac problem and perhaps there was something wrong with your heart?

(Sandra)
I was really I was I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it I thought what's happened why has this happened I really was totally dazed about it all and it took me you know a few not even a few days to even for it to sink in what it meant never mind anything else.

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 1 "Sandra’s Story"

Transcript

(Sandra)
After that I got the defib fitted, I got home after that which was very very frightening as I live alone. Very alarming very insecure. I've got three of a family who live close by and they were fantastic in and out all the time but the minute they left my stomach was churning and the thought of going to bed at night and thinking I wouldn't waken up but the doctors assured me that I would waken up because the defib would kick in but that's wasn't really much consolation.

(Interviewer)
Did you tell you people how you were feeling?

(Sandra)
Oh aye aye I told my family how I was feeling and they did stay with me you know to start with obviously you know they can't stay with you all the time they've got their own families and but they are close so you know they were excellent they still are actually because they're still in and out all the time as well you know, so after that I got home from hospital I had the defib checked at Hairmyres on the 3rd of October and it was fine and I was beginning to feel a bit better because I'd been very lightheaded and the middle of October my daughter was in and I collapsed in the house I just went straight down defib brought me back 999 up to Wishaw General again and I collapsed when I was in the hospital fell out the bed and they changed my medication they then put me on Amiodarone and I've been on that since October and I'm beginning to feel better now but it's taking me all this time very very lightheaded no reason for it apparently the doctor said but for me it's a terrible terrible feeling.

(Interviewer)
Did it make it worse the fact that they didn't know what was causing it?

(Sandra)
I don't really know whether it did make it worse it probably did aye because I was looking for an answer you know I was looking for them to see or that'll be the medication or you know give that time to settle into your system but I was monitored 24 hours and there was nothing everything was perfect and they even asked me to tell them when I was feeling like this so that they could look at the screen sometimes I was feeling worse than others but when they looked through there was nothing showed up at all and it has obviously taken all this time you know just for it not to be a 100% but I would see about 95% I get it slightly.

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 2 "Home From Hospital"

Transcript

(Interviewer)
A lot of people talk to about the fatigue when they come home (ah-ha-ah-ha) I think the fatigue is unexpected
did you have that at all?

(Sandra)
I felt like that as well I'm a very active
person never off the trot out and about you know more than anybody
probably I worked with they would all say what are you doing this weekend
you know when I was always out and about the em and the very fact that I was
terrified to go out terrified the first time I had to go out and it's just built up
from the there I'm not not great yet at even putting my coat on and going out myself
you know but I will go out with anybody now without any problem you know

(Interviewer)
There's a lack of confidence

(Sandra)
Lack of confidence and and a bit anxious you know because it keeps going through your
mind will I go down again when you're outside you know definitely that
that's one of my drawbacks still even I would say at the moment I'm still not
all that confident at getting up and saying right I'm away out

(Interviewer)
so thats had quite a major impact on your social life

(Sandra)
absolutely aye absolutely I've got loads of nice friends great and they're coming round now
a lot to take me for lunch take me for coffee and I don't say no to them now
because I mean at first it was like I don't think I'll bother you know I think I'd
just rather sit in the house where you felt a bit safer you know but anybody that wants me
wants to go out with me now I'll just say thats fine I feel a
bit more confident doing that now

(Interviewer)
and you were working full time

(Sandra)
full time I was working full time ah-ha I had driven to Lanark that day what
where I was working I didn't feel unwell drove home and not didn't feel unwell at
all no no complaints whatsoever

(Interviewer)
but you haven't been back you haven't gone back to work since

(Sandra)
not gone back to work since no not gone back to work since I don't I couldn't cope with going back to
work just now I've not got the confidence or you know they I'm still a bit
anxious about how I would cope with that in the last and the last thing I want
to do is put myself under any more stress you know that that's how I feel about it

(Interviewer)
they have been quite supportive

(Sandra)
yes they have been quite supportive em probably up until now
that's you know since it since August that now they're starting to ask me
you know when do they think I could go back and why could I not just
go out as much as what the think I can you know and I know I'm getting much better
much but I still don't I'm not ready to go back to work
definitely not ready to go back to work but but they think oh well you could
come back a couple of days or we'll work it in but I know what its like once you're
back that's you know we'll be with you for a wee while but they have been supportive up
until now they are starting to ask a few questions now about going back to work
I've been to see the works doctor and who he said it could be another few
months rather than weeks you know and and obviously that's in the event I don't
have any other mishaps but hopefully I wont but they have been
okay so I'm certainly much much better than I was

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 4 "Impact Of OHCA"

(Interviewer)
and you mentioned there about driving did you drive did you use your car a lot

(Sandra)
I used my car loads aye I used my car loads aye drove to to work every day go to the shops at the weekend
go to anything that was going on and always drove to my daughter's in Cambuslang you
know in different things so I miss the car but at the time I couldn't have cared
less whether I was ever going to drive
again but now I'm beginning to think could maybe give it a go sons got
it just now using it so and I had to surrender my license to the DVLA
but they said I may get that back in six months but I can apply for it two months
before but after take the advice of my doctor so I'm at the cardiologist next
Friday 31st I'll speak to him about it and see what he says but if I
do go back oh somebody will be with me in the car for a wee while it'll maybe just be
gonna be the local runs you know it's a bit daunting the very thought of going in
the car again at the time as I say I thought

(Interviewer)
it'll be like being a learner for the first time

(Sandra)
it will it will I know I know it will mm-hmm but you can't sit and not try it
but you're thinking of not just yourself but you're thinking other people you know

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 5 "Driving"

Transcript

(Interviewer)
A lot of people talk to about the fatigue when they come home (ah-ha-ah-ha) I think the fatigue is unexpected. Did you have that at all?

(Sandra)
I felt like that as well I'm a very active person, never off the trot out and about you know more than anybody probably I worked with they would all say what are you doing this weekend you know when I was always out and about the em and the very fact that I was terrified to go out terrified the first time I had to go out and it's just built up from the there I'm not not great yet at even putting my coat on and going out myself you know but I will go out with anybody now without any problem you know

(Interviewer)
There's a lack of confidence

(Sandra)
Lack of confidence and and a bit anxious you know because it keeps going through your mind will I go down again when you're outside you know definitely that that's one of my drawbacks still even I would say at the moment I'm still not all that confident at getting up and saying right I'm away out.

(Interviewer)
So that's had quite a major impact on your social life

(Sandra)
Absolutely aye, absolutely. I've got loads of nice friends great and they're coming round now a lot to take me for lunch take me for coffee and I don't say no to them now because I mean at first it was like I don't think I'll bother you know I think I'd just rather sit in the house where you felt a bit safer you know but anybody that wants me wants to go out with me now I'll just say that's fine I feel a bit more confident doing that now.

(Interviewer)
And you were working full time.

(Sandra) Full time I was working full time ah-ha I had driven to Lanark that day what where I was working I didn't feel unwell drove home and not didn't feel unwell at all no no complaints whatsoever.

(Interviewer)
But you haven't been back you haven't gone back to work since?

(Sandra) Not gone back to work since no not gone back to work since I don't I couldn't cope with going back to work just now I've not got the confidence or you know they I'm still a bit anxious about how I would cope with that in the last and the last thing I want to do is put myself under any more stress you know that that's how I feel about it.

(Interviewer)
They have been quite supportive.

(Sandra)
yes they have been quite supportive em probably up until now that's you know since it since August that now they're starting to ask me
you know when do they think I could go back and why could I not just
go out as much as what the think I can you know and I know I'm getting much better much but I still don't I'm not ready to go back to work definitely not ready to go back to work but but they think oh well you could come back a couple of days or we'll work it in but I know what its like once you're back that's you know we'll be with you for a wee while but they have been supportive up until now they are starting to ask a few questions now about going back to work I've been to see the works doctor and who he said it could be another few months rather than weeks you know and and obviously that's in the event I don't have any other mishaps but hopefully I wont but they have been okay so I'm certainly much much better than I was.

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 3 "Back In Hospital"

Transcript

(Interviewer)
if i sort of said to you that you know there's one thing that would really really
have helped in this whole situation what would it have been

(Sandra)
probably meeting somebody that had
already had an ICD fitted because I was totally as I say didn't even know people
had these personally because I mean nobody in my family or any friends have
ever you know it's never I don't know anybody so I think maybe somebody
talking to me and saying look I've had one for a while this is this this is
that and I think now that would have given me maybe a wee bit of reassurance it's just you know that I'm
not the only one cause you do think you're the only one that this has happened to
you know aye you do you feel as if what's this mean is it only me thats ever
had this and where do we go from here type thing you know

(Interviewer)
is there anything else you would feel would be important for other people to know or

(Sandra)
I think the main thing is I'm more obviously a lot better now and the lightheadedness and the
dizziness is more or less away and that makes me feel much much better so
much so now probably I think I begin to think I've had this fitted you know it's
just part and you know it's there but it's not hindering me in any way other
than getting back to full fitness because that'll probably just take time but
em you know I know I'm beginning to think I'm beginning to get my life back
to normal as it can be as it can be I definitely light at the end of the
tunnel which I couldn't have envisaged six months ago no way
I thought this is my life here I don't want to be here if this is how my life's gonna
be I do want to be here because I thought
just awful however look on the bright side just

(Interviewer)
did anybody sort of pick up on the fact that you were feeling that way or did you just

(Sandra)
I just carried on aye I'm no one for I'm no one for saying too much about it you
know but em and I kept saying to my the kids my children you
know my sons and my daughters and son they're no children now let this I feel terrible
and and they tried to help but you can't if you don't know what's happened you know
we can't imagine what you've been going through but you
know you just try giving them support as much as possible but no I'm certainly in
I'm certainly better now I just wish now I could have my car at the door
get my coat on I'd go a wee well the way that I've been out and about a wee walk around
the estate with my daughter and that so obviously I've started doing that once the
kind of better weather comes in more because it's not a big estate so it's just
to get a nice wee walk around there everyday or a couple times a day and look
and maybe the first time I think oh will I try getting into my car but I'm
beginning to feel positive about that (perhaps a wee goal) you know aye I definitely would aye
aye my kids all said that you know we would
go with you just for a while even if it was just locally up we are not far from
the main road you know and there's a bus outside there and there's a train station so
there's nothing stopping me anyway you know it's an experience one I
wouldn't want to wish on anybody at all that I'm still here and if it
wasn't for being in my daughters I might not be so that took a wee while and it
still does to try and think if I was sitting there here on my own I wouldn't be here
you know that's that was quite daunting as well I that's a yeah there's no

(Interviewer)
I think you're suddenly faced with your own mortality (ah-ha aye thats right you are) no
matter what we say

(Sandra)
no no no no no I know thats right and we all try and push it aside
and think this'll happen that's all at some point but
we'll forget about that just know you know (all of a sudden) aye aye its facing you aye it is its very
difficult but definitely on the right road now

Sandra Ryder's OHCA: Part 6 "What Would Help?"

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