LYRICS

[verse 1]
I fear I’m not cut out for this world
Lock myself in a bedroom
that’s pink with fairies, just right for a girl
and under the flower covers, no one can assume 

[chorus]
I’m like everyone 
I’ve ever met
And I suspect
You’re like me too 
Nothing ever is truly mine
I’m like the worst ever pantomime

[verse 2]
One thing or the other
I want to be everything
Well maybe not my mother
she’s so similar to me
Oh what I wouldn’t give to be 
worthy worthy

[chorus]
I’m like everyone 
I’ve ever met
And I suspect
You’re like me too 
Nothing ever is truly mine
I’m like the worst ever pantomime

[bridge]
Born to late
to own my name
my birthday’s on saint patrick’s day
Played pretend as somebody
who wasn’t me

[outro]
Say I’ve got a brain of gold
but I don’t 
It’s copper oxidized 
by the world outside 
we’re really all the same
all playing this game
you’ll never win
pantomime

Feed My Soul

Pantomime

LYRICS

[Verse 1]
I’ve been thinking badly
About you babe
It isn’t like me at all
but you aren’t who my heart thought you were
Wish I could prove to you I don’t hate you at all
Even though I really should
that isn’t like me at all
I’ve been seeing someone new
He’s not like you at all
maybe that’s a good thing
But I still miss you 
I miss you still
even when I go to sleep
in his arms
This isn’t like me at all

[Chorus]
I wouldn’t mind if you said you didn’t love me
I wouldn’t mind if you said you met somebody 
I wouldn’t mind if you told me your truth 
but since you won’t look me in my eyes
I have no choice
 
[Verse 2]
all of our friends told me things
about what you did
two weeks after me
you had brand new hickeys 
Thank you two for waiting 
it surely did hurt less (no it didn’t)
and I could throw out all my class
be a pain in the ass
but that isn’t like me at all
I’m trying to understand
why you left me for them

[Chorus]
I wouldn’t mind if you said you didn’t love me
I wouldn’t mind if you said you met somebody 
I wouldn’t mind if you told me your truth 
but since you won’t look me in my eyes
I have no choice

[Bridge]
Where did all the love go
I don’t know 
this isn’t like you at all
and I wish you’d talk to me
just say something 
then maybe
I wouldn’t mind at all

[Chorus]
I wouldn’t mind if you said you didn’t love me
I wouldn’t mind if you said you met somebody 
I wouldn’t mind if you told me your truth 
but since you won’t look me in my eyes
I have no choice
but to build my own truth
with the clues
and the cues 
you knew
what I’d think
and I still can’t hate you

I Wouldn't Mind

LYRICS

[verse 1]
Sometimes I find myself 
Outside your apartment window 
Holding back everything 
I want to scream
And I feel like the worst stalker 
Cause I don’t even know what window’s yours anymore
So I’ll go back home 
And spend way too long 
in my bed, while you roll around in theirs 

Love never
Love never
Love never leaves me

[pre-chorus]
Oh I should’ve told you it never fades 
I still love my best friend from second grade 
and was it so bad to love you too much? 
I’m sorry it’s the way I was raised

[chorus]
Love never leaves me (x3)
And when I can’t give it 
it gets so heavy 
It’s crushing me 
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves 

[verse 2]
When I saw your car on the street the other day
You’re lucky I didn’t have my keys on me 
Oh I’m just kidding, I’d never do that 
I just hate that car and what you named it 
Said you were a captain, you're mistaken 
You know Captains go down with their ship
But you’d just swim away 
Like you did with me 
Find some new shit ship 
Drown them, up and split 
But I did kind of like it 

[pre-chorus]
Oh I should’ve told you it never fades 
I still love my best friend from second grade 
and was it so bad to love you too much? 
I’m sorry it’s the way I was raised

[chorus]
Love never leaves me (x3) 
And when I can’t give it 
it gets so heavy 
It’s crushing me 
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves 

[bridge]
Weren’t we the best? 
I guess we weren’t because you left 
I wasn’t ready 
For you to leave me, baby 
I don’t know where to go
You were my world 

[pre-chorus]
How do you move on, make it go away? 
I still love my best friend from second grade 
and was it so bad to love you too much? 
I’m sorry it’s the way I was raised

[chorus]
Love never leaves me (x3)
And when I can’t give it 
it gets so heavy 
It’s crushing me 
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves me
Love never leaves 
Love, why did you leave

Oh your silence
Is crushing
It’s crushing me

Love never
love never
love never leaves me

Love Never Leaves (Demo)

Love Never Leaves (Demo) feat. Vivi Torontali on Guitar

LYRICS

[verse 1]
It would’ve been you
had you stayed but
you chose to run away 

Did I push you to another’s arms?
I just wanted what was best
I wouldn’t have guessed that

I’d spend days in my bed
Where I wished I was dead
waiting for you to be coming back

I know it’s too late 
to fix your sorry mistake
Could you try it anyway?

I know you’ve got a new lover
tell me are they better?
do they bring out your go-getter?
I know I shouldn’t be dwelling
but it’s better than screaming
Can you really blame me?

[chorus]
You can love them more than you loved me
But I hold the key
To really loving 
anybody 
what would you know about loving?
absolutely nothing
you kindly deceive
So I’ll keep holding the key

[verse 2]
It will never be you
I know that now
It could never be you

Someone will stand by me
Never ever leave me
That would’ve been you my darling

But you’ve gone away
There’s no way to say
You’ve betrayed me

You won’t say anything
You’re too afraid
to admit you made a mistake

[chorus]
You can love them more than you loved me
But I hold the key
To really loving 
anybody 
what would you know about loving?
absolutely nothing
you kindly deceive
So I’ll keep holding the key

[bridge]
What would I know?
I know there’s love in this world
I’m gonna find it

I won’t lie you made it hard
When you broke my heart
I loved you from the start

[chorus]
You can love them more than you loved me
But I hold the key
To really loving 
anybody 
what would you know about loving?
absolutely nothing
you kindly deceive
So I’ll keep holding the key

[outro]
When will I find you?
Will it be soon?
I just want you

It Would've Been You (I Hold the Keys)

LYRICS

[verse 1]
Crack me open
Feed my soul
Fill me up and
Overflow me
You can kill me or gut me or even eat me
Lord knows I don’t want to be alone

[chorus]
I’ve been starving 
since I was born
I feel so empty
I eat and I eat and I 
do not get what I need
But I know that I will

[verse 2]
I’ve always been afraid 
of life alone
It won’t be long till
Love has overcome
All of this fear
I did it all scared

[chorus]
I’ve been starving 
since I was born
I feel so empty
I eat and I eat and I 
do not get what I need
But I know that I will

[bridge]
I will find a way out 
but tonight I’ll look to the sky
Hey there Mrs. Moon
Could you tell me
will it be soon?
That I find someone in tune

[chorus]
I’ve been starving 
since I was born
I feel so empty
I eat and I eat and I 
do not get what I need
But I know that I will

[outro]
I will
I will
Be okay

I Will Not Beg For is a story of acceptance, that life is hard but you'll get through it and you don't have to beg for what you know you deserve. 

LYRICS

CHORUS
I will not beg for (x4)
(I will not beg for your love x2)
Your love (x4)

VERSE 1
It still hurts and I still cry
I’ve never been one to lie
And I’ve still got the bestest friends
So when I cry, I’ll talk to them
I know I will be just fine
And I’m not wasting my time

CHORUS

VERSE 2
I don’t like to be mean
I like to keep my conscience clean
And if you’re making me the enemy
I know it’s out of jealousy
I walk around free, happily
Because I know who I want to be

CHORUS

BRIDGE
You ever feel like, okay, 
Maybe your life is changing a lot
And it might feel like it’s falling apart
But then you realize like
You have enough love for yourself, that it’s like
Whatever happens, you’re going to be fine, cause
You have a best friend, several 

CHORUS
I will not beg for (x2)
(I will not beg for your love x2)
I will not beg for you love (x4)
(I will not, beg for your love x4)
I will not beg for (x6)
(Your love x2)

In Your Absence

I Will Not Beg For

This song follows the story of the narrator's friend's passing. With strong themes of religion, Ally (Draft) emulates bargaining on the album. 

LYRICS

VERSE 1
Ally told my once her mom and dad
Made her in a doctor’s lab
They wanted their little baby so bad
It’s enough to drive you mad

VERSE 2
Ally believed in God
It’s something I never got
She was on her way to mass
But those winter roads are glass

CHORUS
What if the roads were salted?
What if she rode with her husband?
What if the other car halted?
What if God had to wait?
To meet her at the pearly gates
She was too young to meet her fate
Oh, Ally
Oh, Ally
(Oh, Ally x2)

VERSE 3
When her car was hit
There was no way to stop it
She died in the cold
But I believe it wasn’t alone

VERSE 4
Ally was made of the sun
That’s why she was so damn fun
Sure, she was just a girl
But she lit up our small world

CHORUS 

VERSE 5
God, I hope she’s happy
Wherever she may be
I didn’t believe but she showed me
Maybe God has mercy

VERSE 6/OUTRO
Oh, Ally
I hope you’re happy
In heaven
(Oh, Ally)
Oh, Ally

Ally (Draft)

Ghost of my Life is about the depression experience after the loss of a relationship. Using the idea of feeling like a ghost to portray a deep melancholy. 

LYRICS

VERSE 1
Rooms feel empty in a way I cannot fill
Like I’m here but I’m not and I cannot sit still
Hiding in my room, hitting the pen
Wishing I could feel the sun on my skin again
But nothing’s quite as warm 
As your body heat wrapped around me

PRE-CHORUS
I thought I found the love of my life
But if there’s one thing I didn’t get right
It’s you, you, ooh

CHORUS
I think I died that day
You walked away
And I’ve been a ghost ever since
But I’m not haunting you, am I?
I’m haunting me
I’m haunting me, yeah 

VERSE 2
I’m sitting on the sidelines
My friends move on with their lives
While I dream of you and I
I’ve cried on floors
Dirtier than yours
Wishing you’d walk through any of the doors
But I'm the only one 
who's floating around

PRE-CHORUS

CHORUS

BRIDGE
I heard laughter from the living room
But no one was there
I stood in that living room
And realized the laugher was my own
Then I realized I wasn’t laughing at all
Cause I know, I know, I know
I’m the ghost, the ghost, the ghost

PRE-CHORUS
Oh, I’m the ghost of my life
And I don’t get a lot of things right
Like you, like me, like anything

CHORUS
I died that day
You walked away
And I’ve been a ghost every since
But I’m not haunting you, am I?
I’m haunting me
I’m the ghost of my life

Ghost of my Life (Demo)

Little Best Friend follows the story of a man in denial of the loss of someone close to him. The idea formed from when I saw a man sitting alone in a plastic, pink play crib outside. 

LYRICS

VERSE 1
(One, two, three)
Where are you Emily?  
(Four, five, six)
You’ve been gone for a bit
(Seven, eight, nine)
Where are you sunshine?
When you get to ten will I see you again?

PRE-CHORUS
He sits out there all day, all night
Waiting for his sugarpie
But she’s never coming back 
From that old old shack
No one’s gonna play today
Well, only him anyway
He brought all her favorite things
Barbies and blue ice cream

CHORUS
He sat in the pink playpen
Waiting for his little best friend
He likes to play pretend 
Waiting for his little best friend

VERSE 2
(One, two, three)
He sees Emily
(Four, five, six)
This is the part where she kicks
(Seve, eight, nine)
He’s seeing her shine
But when he gets to ten, 
The tape starts again

PRE-CHORUS

CHORUS

BRIDGE 
Emily, come back to me
You’re missing the tea party
I’ll keep you an empty seat
And a sweet treat
Emily, come back to me
I’ll give you everything
Just come back to me, my Emily

CHORUS x2
He sat in the pink playpen
Waiting for his little best friend
He likes to play pretend 
Waiting for his little best friend
He sat in the pink playpen
Waiting for his little best friend
He likes to play pretend 
Waiting for his little best friend

Little Best Friend

Wasting Time explores the anger and hurt of realizing the one you love might not be all yours. There is a big highlight on feeling like time is wasted on a person in light of new information. 

LYRICS

VERSE 1
I see you with a girl that looks like me
Two colors in her hair
This can’t be who you want instead of me
You’ve known her for like two weeks
I can see your heart’s not in it
Just end it
Putting me in a bad position
Maybe we could work it out
But you don’t want to talk about
Oh, the obvious
I guess we don’t get along
It’s her you’re getting on
I’m not blind and I’m not dumb
You want her, you don’t want me
But you just won’t leave

CHORUS
I’m so sick of wasting time
on someone who’s not all mine
Why is our love all on my dime?
Who are you wasting all of my time?
If you’ve got her, why are you wasting time on
Making me the enemy?
I’m so sick of wasting my time on
Someone who’s not all mine

VERSE 2
I know you said no to trying again
But I thought well I guess we have the same friends
I threw you a birthday party 
And then you brought her in front of everybody 
I don’t know how you move on so quickly
Did I even mean anything?
What are you saying about me?
You got your new girl looking dirty at me
She doesn’t even know who I am
She feels like the other woman 
You leave the room if I walk in
Can barely believe we ever shared skin

CHORUS

BRIDGE
So it seems you’ve moved on
From me, from her, you’ve got a new one
God, it must be tiring
Never loving permanently
Where are all of your friends?
And I mean your friends
God, it must be lonely
Always leaving endlessly

CHORUS

OUTRO

No one will ever know me
Without hearing your name 
It’s on the tip of my tongue 
I wanted to know you 
But I don’t think anyone ever will

Wasting Time

hello there :D
have mercy on my soul for I am a producer not a singer though I hope to be someday!

iraeda mendell

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