Trying to write songs! Still getting used to how my voice sounds. Please listen with headphones.

Help me break the pattern of the centuries way before me
Of narcissistic men preying on your self-esteem and your body

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

So this why I think before speaking, knowing that you’re always listening, and criticizing the things I have to say
But you’d go on on and on talking about philosophy and your pessimistic views
Meanwhile friends would sit around you, captivated and yet confused
But the worst thing they’d do, is turn theirs eyes to you and say I guess you silently support his view
But all I thought to myself was “fuck you”

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

Break the Pattern

submission for "beneath the surface" art jam, farewell north server, july 2021. idea of being underneath waves, multiple layers of activity

manta

THIS IS NOT FROM ASYNC BY RYUICHI SAKAMOTO. THIS IS NOT FROM ASYNC BY RYUICHI SAKAMOTO

"volga-benko"

pop song for piano & electronics performed by conrad tao at new music on the point 2022

audio engineering: brian riordan
https://soundcloud.com/conradtao

pop song

close your eyes and think about where you might’ve been on that day; about who you were

meditate on the soft caresses of childhood for ~12 mins - just try, for me

meditation on june 18th, 2004

KILL LIL + JANE DIE = SOUNDCUNT
heroin trafficking at 15 r u gonna kill me take me to ur pick up truck I DONT WANNT FUCK U IN FRONT OF UR DOG we're upstate and it's getting late ive got a date with ur passenger seat TAKE ME TO UR PICK UP TRUCK I DONT WANNT FUCK U IN FRONT OF UR DOG
i took the beast out first he was watching wrapped the wire round ur head n gripped so tightly took u down to the river where the beast is rotting can u feel me skinning u kissing u touching u running u ovr n ovr n ovr <3<3<3

THE BEAST

Satie: Gymnopédie No. 1 (in just intonation)

Satie: Gnossienne No. 1 (in just intonation)

Dedicated to Scott Walker, American-British singer-songwriter who died on March 22nd, 2019.




*Borrowing material from Soper's Voices from the Killing Jar

meditation on june 18th, 2004

Isabela Tanashian

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