[Intro]
Tell me the truth…
Was I toxic?
Or did I just stay way too long in something that was killing me slowly?
You ever hold poison thinking it was medicine?
Yeah, that was me.

[Verse 1]
Was I toxic when I swallowed all your lies?
When I bit my tongue while you looked me in the eyes?
When I carried your chaos like it was my cross
And still apologized every time we fought
Tell me, was I toxic for staying too loyal?
For loving you through storms that were never mutual?
For packing up your damage and calling it home
While you sat comfy on a heart I loaned
I walked on eggshells in a war you started
And you called me crazy when I became guarded
You drained my spirit but needed my soul
Then blamed me for the weight of your control
Now I ask myself in the silence of my room
Was I poisonous, or just drowning in your fumes?
Is it toxic to break when you’re pushed that far?
Or is that just proof of where the wounds are?

[Pre-Chorus]
Don’t label my reaction like I’m the disease
You lit the match, I just burned in the heat
You twisted love into a battlefield
But I’m the villain just ‘cause I couldn’t heal in your field

[Chorus]
Was I toxic when I put up with your bullshit?
Took all the blame, every lie, every rumor you spit?
Or was I just bleeding out in disguise
Smiling through pain while love fucking died?
Was I toxic for finally losing my mind?
After crossing a thousand emotional lines?
If standing up now makes me the bad guy
Then I’ll wear that crown while I walk away alive

[Verse 2]
Gaslight, guilt trip, emotional games
Kept me addicted to hurt and shame
You played victim while I played dumb
Believing love meant going numb
Friends said leave, I said “they don’t get it”
Now I see clearly what I won’t regret is
Loving hard even when it hurt me
While you just loved how I served you
I became colder just to survive
While you sharpened words like knives
So if you call me toxic now, I laugh
‘Cause you fell in love with my aftermath
You don’t miss me, you miss control
Miss having access to my soul
Now I’m healing and that’s the crime
‘Cause you can’t live rent free in my mind

[Bridge]
Maybe I did scream
Maybe I did break
Maybe I did become someone I hate
But you don’t get to write my ending
When you were the one who kept the blade bending
Pain don’t make you toxic, it makes you human
Endurance in hell doesn’t mean I condone it
And healing ain’t pretty
Growth ain’t sweet
Sometimes it ugly…
But it’s real to me

[Final Chorus]
So was I toxic for putting up with your mess?
Or was I loyal way past my best?
Was I “crazy” for wanting peace?
Or just tired of your constant disease?
If protecting myself is labeled wrong
Then I’ll be wrong, and still be strong
I won’t carry your guilt no more
I washed my hands, I closed the door

[Outro]
You keep my name inside your mouth
Like it’s sweeter than the truth you never found
But the only toxic thing I ever did
Was love you harder than I loved myself
And I fixed that.

Was I Toxic When I Put Up With All Your Bullshit?

FLEX

The long awaited full length debut album from Dutchboy

When I'm Not Around


1. Cookin' Up - Produced by Dutchboy
2. If You Knew - Produced by Dutchboy
3. Times - Produced by Dutchboy
4. Call Ya Back - Produced by Dutchboy
5. Excited (Ft. Omarion) - Produced by Maajei Vu
6. Party - Produced by Dutchboy
7. Stress (Ft. Mulherin) - Produced by Dutchboy
8. Nu Jersey Devil (Ft. Nova) - Produced By Dutchboy & Nova
9. West Ting - Produced by Dutchboy & Nova
10. So Many Things Interlude - Produced by Maajei Vu
11. Post Up - Produced by Dutchboy
12. Write A Check - Produced by Dutchboy
13. Another Interlude - Produced by Dutchboy
14. Diamonds (Ft. INDICA) - Produced by DMND
15. Bands - Produced by Maajei Vu
16. When I'm Around - Produced by Dutchboy


PURCHASE:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/when-im-not-around/id1196996293?ls=1&app=itunes

When I'm Not Around

Party

Buy on iTunes

Sad Summer Freestyle

"Para Mi" ft. TG (prod. by chanksdaddy)

Download Now! 

https://Empire.lnk.to/GodsoftheYoung

Download Now!

POSITION

apple: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chanksdaddy/1263670159
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/chanksdaddy
ig: https://www.instagram.com/chanksdaddy/

48 FOREVR

Off The Forthcoming album, releasing 2/22/19!!!

Written, Recorded and mixed by YESHUA at OMEGA SOUND STUDIOS in San Francisco, CA
Produced by @ogabi
Exec prod by Michael Moore, Brennan Molleur, Jaelynn Malone, and Quinten Wedgeworth

Lyrics:
Goin through the underworld, Yeah
Sifting, swiftin, movin
Grippin the grain
Lane changing, groovin
Nigga I'm, movin
Nigga what?
Shut up, I'm movin
Tell me what, nah f**k it
Yeah, Im movin
Wassup, f**k it yeah f**k it yea
Movin
Nigga what, F**k all that bullsh*t 
I'm movin
Nigga what, F**k all that bullsh*t 
I'm movin
Aw damn 
Wait yeah 
Oh boy yeah, i'm movin
Look at me swervin'
Slidin
Guiding 
Glidin'
Yeah, I'm groovin
Okay, alright yeah
Am I not moving?
Look at me one time
Two times, I'm gone
Boy I'm movin

Pulled up in this b**ch 
Like my name is Osiris 
Oh homie
Boy, I got one piece of advice, b*tch
Don't play
Don't play
Don't play
Don't play 
Don't play
Don't play
Don't play
Yeah
Walked up in this bi*ch like Osiris
Lord of the underworld moving in silence
Oh no no ain't no way you could take my b**ch
One word of advice b*tch
Don't play 
Don't play

Shun
Shun
Shun
What you really wanna do boy 
You don't really want the tool boy
Tell me I got more than you boy
You know i really know the truth boy
Please don't make me let it loose boy
Oh yeah
Shun
Blessings like Ah Choo
Okay okay yeah
I been high
Hittin the third 
The fourth, fifth dimension 
For the tenth time 
That's more times
Than you time
Spend more time with her
Than you do time
She all mine
I love mine 
Aw yeah

Pulled up in this b*tch like my name was osiris 
Whole crowd in silence
Chillin with my Isis
Word of advice b*tch
Don't play 
Don't play 
Dont play
Don't play
Dont play
Don't

Niggas be going back and forth
I'm meditating, trying to find the source
Niggas still tryna find swag and sauce
Niggas is weird and awk and off
I'm on these bars just goin off
Leave it there or leave it off
So sick no cold, flu, or cough
Yeah
Don't catch it like Bilentnikoff 
Yeah

Walked up in this b*tch straight like Osiris 
Chillin in the cut, with my girl who look like Isis

DOWNLOAD <3

BLADE (prod by og abi)(Album out 2/22/19)

FACELIFT PROD. BY GEORGE GREEN

Fumes (Prod. Ricci)

Twitter & Instagram: Cassow
Management | Tes@Drelondon.com

POSITION

CASSOW

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