Saint Avangeline's debut album, Gardener of Eden, tells the story of a young lesbian woman recalling her romantic, yet tragic encounters, doomed-to-fail relationships, and coming to terms with her traumatic sexual assault. Two months after attempting to take her own life, she began to write this album as a means to begin to accept what happened to her, and let it all out, using her pain as a source to create something beautiful, and to eventually heal from. 

Inspired by tracks from Lana Del Rey, Avangeline chose a similar moody, ethereal tracks (all from BeatStars), paired with her own personal gothic style of poetry, to create dreamy music layered with reverb. 

Armed with only Apple earbuds and a laptop, Avangeline learned to mix and master her own vocals and released this album independently in April, 2022.

Gardener Of Eden

claw marks

Hands That Sin

- Listen to the Full Playlist soundcloud.com/chilloutify/sets/acoustic-and-electric-grunge

Cracked Mirror (EP)

Faith Desire

Hitman (slowed)

decompose

🔻 Song Insight
“Holding Off Tomorrow” dives deep into the ache of emotional aftermath—the war zone that love sometimes leaves behind. The song’s core is about carrying someone else’s weight, trying to rise together but landing in hell, and finally realizing that some wounds only open wider when you refuse to let go. With raw lyrics and grunge-laced alt rock energy, this track paints the stormy process of breaking free from patterns that hurt, and the reluctant hope of surviving another day.

🔻 Lyrics
Verse 1:  
Just another project of regret  
It's your shit you hang on me  
I'm not your bitch, don't forget  
Yeah, we spun up to heaven  
But we landed in hell

Pre-Chorus:  
Set sail on broken parts  
Every fiber of my heart  
Thought this could be whole  
It was, a whole new level of hell, with you

Chorus:  
We fought the war on love  
You’re stuck in a past, lost blood  
Trifling things you can't change  
It's raining down sorrow  
holding off tomorrow  
But when the day start to end  
In hell it all begins  
In hell it all begins

Bridge:  
Burned-out hopes in a flood of blame  
I’m done playing this losing game  
No light left, just this pain  
We circle the drain, circle the drain

Chorus:  
(repeat)


🔻 Personal Reflection
Sometimes, the only way out of hell is to name it. “Holding Off Tomorrow” is about what it feels like to carry someone else’s pain and finally admit that it’s breaking you down. This track was written in the shadow of endings—holding on too long, blaming myself, until it became clear that some love stories are really just lessons. It’s a confession, a letting go, and a survival anthem rolled into one.

🔻 4Me2BeFree
For 4Me2BeFree, every song is a living memory—raw, unfiltered, cinematic. “Holding Off Tomorrow” stands as another chapter in turning lived trauma into relatable art, mixing the grit of 90s alt rock with confessional lyrics that pull no punches. Our mission is to transform true emotion into something that resonates across time and identity, letting listeners know that their struggles are seen, heard, and shared. Real pain, real release, real music.

🔻 Copyright Notice
"All lyrics and content featured in this post are protected under copyright (© 2025) and have been securely time-locked and validated through a crypto-based verification system to ensure originality and ownership. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of any part of these works without explicit consent is strictly prohibited."



Holding Off Tomorrow

Mushroom girl, you wake the dead. 🍄

LYRICS:

[Verse 1]
I see you rising from the forest floor
Cap like violet, wide and worn
Your skin shifts color when the wind blows through
Tell me where you came from, who made you

[Pre-Chorus]
Dancing on your stem so thin
Oh, you're pulling me in

[Chorus]
You're the spore dancer, wild and strange
Born from dirt but you rearrange
Every thought inside my head
Mushroom girl, you wake the dead
Oh, you wake the dead

[Verse 2]
Your eyes are hollow but they see too much
Visions streaming when our fingers touch
Did you grow here or just appear one day?
In the morning mist you fade away

[Pre-Chorus]
Spinning on your roots so deep
Oh, you make me weep

[Chorus]
You're the spore dancer, wild and strange
Born from dirt but you rearrange
Every thought inside my head
Mushroom girl, you wake the dead
Oh, you wake the dead

[Bridge]
I watch you change from girl to bloom
Your spores fill up this tiny room
You speak in colors, breathe in time
Your mycelium wraps around my mind
Around my mind, ohhhhhh

[Verse 3]
When you dance the earth splits at your feet
Ancient wisdom in your heartbeat
You're not human but you understand
Take me with you to your fungus land

[Pre-Chorus]
Swaying with your arms spread wide
Oh, I'm on your side

[Chorus]
You're the spore dancer, wild and strange
Born from dirt but you rearrange
Every thought inside my head
Mushroom girl, you wake the dead

[Outro]
You wake the dead
You wake the dead

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