murder-suicide

bad company

fckup

couldnt change

medicine

run away

thought id let you know

kansas city

voicemail 10-11-2020

dominoes

highs and lows

omne solum forti patria

Starting making these at 17
Thought of giving up at 23
Everything I dealt with in-between
Is everything I knew I wouldn’t need

Cuz everything is everyone I left
Everything is everywhere I stayed
Everything is why I’ve been inept
In everything that I have ever made

So help me to be better than the best
God I need a miracle today
I had made the best of what was left
I’m afraid I’ll throw it all away

All in my mind, I’m cursing my time
Say you know It’s alright
Stay with me I know that I can be quite
A lot on your plate when I’m hurting at times

I needed a reason
I’m starting a fight, you say it’s alright, 
but I don’t believe it
And every time, I sleep at your side
Cuz that’s what I needed
Maybe I’m right, maybe it’s like
I’m too conceited, I’m incompleted, Baby I’m hurting I’m searching for meaning


Baby I don’t wanna be your reason
I just wanted you to be the rhyme
But everything gets harder when you need em
And now I feel I’m living in my mind

now you’re angry I don’t give enough
now you’re angry I don’t give a fuck
now I’m drinking you don’t wanna judge
Or maybe you do and you don’t bring it up

Now you believe that I wanna be perfect
Now I believe that it’s hard but you try
Now I been meaning to bring to the surface
Feelings like I’m being buried alive

So baby I can’t leave it in the past
Little things that I could never shake
Grew in me these feelings I’ve attached
Have made me good a pushing you away

I know we both got our demons, yes I believe it, but I gotta be the man
I think now I know how you’re feeling, baby let’s heal it, only can do what we can
Baby I know I been leaning, I know I’ve been scared, of never succeeding, always repeating everything I never tried, wasn’t obliged, or couldn’t complete it

I needed a reason
I’m starting a fight, you say it’s alright, 
but I don’t believe it
And every time, I sleep at your side
Cuz that’s what I needed
Maybe I’m right, maybe it’s like
I’m too conceited, I’m incompleted, Baby I’m hurting I’m searching for meaning

MEANING

My track I made for this mother's day. Something that I've wanted to get off my chest more and more lately.

Dear Mom (Prod. Aimz)

NF - Dreams (Remix)

Human (Prod. Carter x HiJackt)

Pain And Happiness (Prod. Canis Major)

G Eazy - Beautiful And Damned (Remix)

Gone (Prod. Ghost Beats)

NF - No Name (Remix)

Dear Mom 2

Pain

I'm Sorry

Lyrics:

Livin on the edge, dunno where to go
Surrounded by a crowd but I'm all alone
Veering off the path, on a different road
Is this where I belong, I will never know

I'm doing this for me because it's all I need
This moment that I live is all I'm guarunteed
I may never wake up when I go to sleep
So I'm living in the moment and I live for me

Drivin in the night, the therapy of the mind
Listening to music thinkin how to live a life
Where you were never living like you felt you were alive
So you going through the motions saying everything is fine

But deep within your heart you feel like something isn't right
And all that you are feeling isn't showing when you write
So now you feel like all you ever do is dissapear
Feel so fuckin numb you couldn't try to shed a tear

But, You feel your running in a circle
Everyday's an obstacle that you have got to hurdle
Pushin through the pain but the weight is growing heavy
Wake up in the morning never wanting to get ready

But the more you hide away the more you losing any purpose
Wonder if existence in this world is even worth it
Everyday is gray, Feel like you can't pray
Cuz you're scared that even God isn't hearing what you say
--
Times are getting tough and I slip into depression
A knife into the heart but I will never show expression
And now within my mind there is a permanent impression
That the only way to love is take your feelings and suppress em

So I been building walls so I can never love again
And now all that I think of is the music and a pen
This room that I have built is really all I know of home
And I wonder to myself why I'm feeling so alone

--There really isn't any question
All it really takes is just the truth and a confession
I'm scared of getting hurt so I would rather be alone
So when people are around I'm always hidden in my phone

Still I really wonder why I feel so fuckin broken
I don't why I hurt, but I know I'm sick of hopin
That I can make it better and that I can make it right
Been moving for a year but now I'm losing all my fight

Seems like anymore that all my words are losing weight
What's the point of speaking if you don't know what to say
What's the point of livin if you can't accept your fate
And all they ever say is that it's better if you wait

--Been waiting for a while now
Been faking my expression but only holds my smile down
Running from the pain hopin that it would be mild now
But it's all up in my head, now you're telling me to smile now

huh, now my mind is going weak
Another fucking burden and I'm falling to my feet
The pain that i been feeling isn't really new to me
But now everything I feel is out for everyone to see

And everything I know has started falling into pieces
Look into my soul, wonder where my inner peace is
But everything inside going cold and as it freezes
My mind is shutting down as a result of these diseases

Maybe I am weak, maybe all I am is dirt
And karma came around so all I ever feel is hurt
Addictions that I fight while I am weaker than you know
No matter what I say it feels I never seem to grow

I started making music as a way to vent the pain
Writing what I felt because I knew I'd never say
When I look in a mirror all I see is not enough
Never hated who I am but still I hate who I've become

Fuck, I guess I better face it
I wanna do what's right got me up at night n pacin
All I wanna see is just the glimmer of the light
It's not within myself but I can see it in your eyes

If I can make it better for a single fuckin person
Tell me what you're feeling now I swear you're not a burden
I know i'm broken down but I only wanna help
I  tear myself apart, conversations with myself

Conversations With Myself(Prod. Young Taylor)

Witt Lowry - Like I Do (Remix)

Face It Intro

Luminescent

Letting Go

Stream Here

Who's To Blame?

Lovebirds

New Life

Evergreens

deserve this

Lyrics:

I don’t wanna be no one’s lover
I don’t wanna be your mistake
I don’t wanna hide taking cover
In your warm embrace

I don’t wanna be me no longer
Tired of looking at the same old face
I just wanna be free from what I couldn’t change

Come so far and I’ve tried so hard but I still feel the same
Fall apart into silent arms cuz the feeling won’t go away

If I go deaf or I lost my breath would I still hear the bells
If I cheat death would I lose what’s left, and could anybody save me from myself?

I been drowning in the sea of my thoughts
I been keeping all my prayers in a box
Cuz I don’t wanna pray to a god that I don’t believe in

Stuck again I don’t know where to go
Day by day living on the ropes
It’s been so long that I’m losing hope
I’m falling to pieces

I don’t wanna be no one’s lover
I don’t wanna be your mistake
I don’t wanna hide taking cover
In your warm embrace

I don’t wanna be me no longer
Tired of looking at the same old face
I just wanna be free from what I couldn’t change

I see beauty in the dark when the colors fade to gray
When I see you when we drift apart, in my mind you’ll forever stay

Every night when I go to sleep and I sing my lullabies
I think of you and I listen too, cuz I’m hoping that you’d sing along tonight

Maybe we feel a vibe
When both of us lie awake
And we think of the better times
And hope we can find a way

Home
But I know better
Baby I said I’d be strong

In this cold weather
You said that you wouldn’t be long

Now I’m alone while you celebrate
Said I’d wait for another day 
that I don’t believe in

Did you find me dead or alive
Took my heart and now my mind 
is falling to pieces

I don’t wanna be no one’s lover
I don’t wanna be your mistake
I don’t wanna hide taking cover
In your warm embrace

I don’t wanna be me no longer
Tired of looking at the same old face
I just wanna be free from what I couldn’t change

Couldn't Change

23 year old musician in Tysons Corner, VA from Kansas City MO; Can be found on Apple Music, Spotify, Google Play, and many others.

Jackson Gray

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