Pensées Rehearsal

Jacob G. Mathew - Danse Pour Basson - Bassoon Miniatures Played By Matthew Rosenberg - 6/21/2014

I started writing this piece in 2013, soon after the death of my maternal grandmother, Manoor Sosamma George, whom we called Ammachi. It was an incomplete piece then, and remained so for almost two years. When I learned that this year was the 50th death anniversary of my paternal grandmother, Bernadette Celine Jacob, I decided to finish writing it.

Bernadette, who was known as Mummy, died tragically in 1965, when my father was only 5 years old. She was the mother of five children, the youngest of whom was 6 months old at the time. Having never known her but for the stories I had heard, I grew up possessed by a rather mystical feeling of reverence towards her. This was sublated into the profound personal experience I had of Ammachi and my two grandfathers,  Panjikattil George Verghese (Appacha) and Jacob Varghese Kavalam (Dada), who certainly never allowed us to feel any paucity of affection. 

The incipit - the solo viola melody that precedes the piece - is an old sung-prayer from Kerala that Ammachi taught us when we were children, simply called "Sthothram Yesuve." The main theme of the Elegy has a derived contrapuntal relationship with that melody. 

In our Catholic faith, death is seen as a gateway into new life, but while that has occasionally tempered my sense of loss, I have felt profound grief watching my elders age and pass on. This piece is an attempt to capture something of that pain of loss, but without losing sight of the mysterious joy that always lingers at the edge of sorrow. 

Special thanks to ABIS Productions, Greenhouse Collective, Mobile Recording LA, Reflection Films, as well as the members of the St. Charles Avenue Presbyterian Church, the Louisiana Philharmonic and the Loyola University Orchestra who all helped bring this project to life.

DISCLAIMER: This audio recording is for archival purposes only, and is not attached to any commercial or promotional interests.

J.G.Mathew

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