David sang this song with the KC Moaners jug band at my CD release party on December 7 2011.

Stealing

My cousin David singing the traditional millworking song 'Pity Me My Darling'. I think this was recorded around 2006.

A Ballad of America CD

Pity Me My Darling

In the past I've played this Tom Waits song on piano (a full band version is on my album 'Time To Break Up The Band) but I'm going to play it on guitar with a friend so I thought I'd record a quick demo!

Way Down In The Hole

A live recording of a Gus Cannon song, featuring Richard Haller on guitar and lead vocals, Jacob Haller on slide guitar and backing vocals, Bob Swift on harmonica and backing vocals, and Lauren Monroe on shaker and backing vocals.

Rooster Crowing Blues

This song is from episode 17 of season 4 of the Simpsons, in the episode titled 'Last Exit to Springfield', which features Homer leading a strike at the Springfield power plant. I recorded it in 2006 on a nylon string guitar I owned at the time.

When I played this song at a farmer's market recently, a gentlemen came up to me at the end, threw a dollar in my tip basket, and said, "Now play Classical Gas!"

Power Plant Strike song

This track, with lyrics by Ariel Weinberg, was recorded on January 4 2005 as part of the Interröbang Cartel online music project. It depicts the legendary struggle between the Mac OS text editor BBEdit, and another text editor named emacs.

It is probably virtually incomprehensible to about 99.9% of the population, but it has a nice, folky vibe, and I have seen people dance to it.

Editors At War

This not safe for work song is based on a dream by John Salt, and the lyrics are by Casey Bennetto. It was written for the Interröbang Cartel online music collaborative project.

This recording is from a practice session in July 2012 and features a blistering accordion solo from Matt Everett.

"Pumpkin, Mrs Farnsworth"

Here's a live version of Chris Monti and I performing the John Prine song 'Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Any More'. We recorded it on April 19, 2007 at Nick-a-Nees in Providence.

Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Any More (w/Chris Monti)

I started writing this song the day after the election, and finished writing it about a week later. The lyrics are:

I want to shout out that everyone matters
But why would anyone even care?
I want to deny that the system is rigged,
But I haven't ever seen it ever be fair.
I want to say something deep and insightful
But I can't think of just what to say.
I want to stand up for immediate action,
But I know I won't get to it today.

I want to say that you can tell me your secrets.
But why should you give me your trust?
I want to say I have hope for the future,
But now all that hope's turned to dust.
I want to say that I'm working to get better,
Maybe someday I might even try.
I want to say that I'll always be there,
But I know that you know that's a lie.

I don't know if there's anything I could say to you,
That would make you forgive me again.
I guess all I can say is I miss what we had.
I miss having you as a friend.

I Want To Say

This was written and recorded in 2005 for the Interrobang Cartel online musical collaborative, and remastered in 2015 by Machines with Magnets. It is one of a vanishingly small number of attempts at a spoken word song and was vaguely inspired by the Brooklyn Funk Essentials. It is, naturally, recorded in the key of B flat. 

There's also a radio safe version of this song called 'Swat The Bees' which will be on my album 'Cabin Fever', which should be out in a couple of weeks.

Recording this taught me that, given the opportunity, I will pretty much want to always use a cowbell in a song, so I pretty much gave up using that instrument after that, for my own good.

I think the whistled solo is pretty good.

F*** The Bees

This is a song I wrote about/for a Twitch streamer named Art Potato. The lyrics are:

The ground was shaking on the day that Tato came to town.
The townsfolk left their houses For they feared they'd be shook down.
Art nodded to the crowd and gave the folks a friendly wave
While wrestling a bear to its bearish grave.

And once the wrestling match was done
All the townsfolk spoke as one

Who is that man? [who is that man]
That masked man? [that masc man]
That goblin guy whose rugged outfit slays?
His name is Art Potato
One of the country's best he/theys.

The story doesn't end there. Tato and their tardigrade
Spun glass into fine fiber, which they then quickly crocheted
Into a high speed circuitboard, a powerful computer
Which then they used to become vtubers.

And when they went off on a raid,
The raidee's chat would say

Who is that man? [who is that man]
That masked man? [that masc man]
Who makes art seem just like child's play.
Their name is Art Potato
One of the country's best he/theys.


Tribute to Art Potato

The traditional folk song 'The Big Rock Candy Mountain' is ripe for a prestige TV gritty reboot. In this essay I will

The Big Rock Candy Mountain

This song is from the 'Love YA Like Crazy' podcast, which is hosted by Carrie and Jake. Carrie wrote the lyrics, Jake set them to music and recorded them. It's a song about truffles inspired by one of the characters in Maggie Stiefvater's book 'Shiver', a werewolf named Sam who is a songwriter.

The full episode can be found at http://traffic.libsyn.com/loveyalikecrazy/Shiver.mp3 , and you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/love-ya-like-crazy/id973333503 .

Truffle

This song was written for the Songwriters in the Round series put on every month by the Rhode Island Songwriters Association in September 2015.

A Wind In The Ruins

I recorded this in 2006. I forget why! It's a pretty song, though.

Two Of Us (Beatles cover)

I wrote this song for the 'Love YA Like Crazy' podcast, for a bonus episode (which will be released on Thursday June 9 2016) in which we talked about the mediocre 2014 movie 'Vampire Academy'. 

The song was written before I watched the movie, so, if it contains any spoilers, it is only by accident.

More information about Love YA Like Crazy can be found at http://loveYAlikecrazy.com/ .

Life Just Sucks

I wrote this song for an upcoming episode of my podcast, 'Love YA Like Crazy', in which we're going to talk about Madeleine L'Engle's classic 1963 book "A Wrinkle in Time".

Love YA Like Crazy

Mrs Whatsit

This song was written for the character Max in Stephanie Perkins's young adult romance novel 'Lola and the Boy Next Door'. I really enjoyed the book. Max is the worst.

You can hear me and my friend Carrie talk about the book, and swear about the 2016 US presidential election, at http://loveyalikecrazy.libsyn.com/lola-and-the-boy-next-door-by-stephanie-perkins .

Glasses

A friend asked me to record this song, so I did. I'm releasing this almost a month after Christmas, but probably there's some kind of holiday happening not long from when you're reading that, so: enjoy that holiday!

Last Christmas (George Michael cover)

In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we picked the winners, and Jake set them to music and recorded them.

This entry was selected by Jake as his favorite. It was submitted by Katy [REDACTED], is based on Andrew Smith's book 'Grasshopper Jungle', and is to the tune of 'Eye of the Tiger'. Jake changed around the lyrics somewhat; the original ones can be found below.

Rising up, onto the roof
That's where the world started ending
unstoppable soldier eggs were released into the world
Now there's a man with a will to survive

A horny teen and a bisexual love triangle
Would have been bad enough
But add some giant horny unstoppable praying mantises
And that makes for a very bad idea

CHORUS:
It's the grasshopper jungle
It's the weirdest book
About an apocalypse with giant insects
And the last known survivors
Live in an underground bunker
With only occasional cigarette runs

In the small, town of Ealing
Austin and his friend Robbie
Escape an army of six foot praying mantises
who only want to do two things

It's the grasshopper jungle
But there are no grasshoppers
Though there is an apocalypse with insects
And the last known survivors
Live in an underground bunker
Where they have a baby and live with some parents and a dog

If you like grimacing lemur masks
Then you should read this novel
But if you'd rather read about unicorns and rainbows
Move along, this book is not for you

It's the grasshopper jungle
Written with lots of strange repetition
And there's an apocalypse with horny insects
And the last known survivors
Could have saved the world
But instead they escape to an underground bunker

The grasshopper jungle
The grasshopper jungle
The grasshopper jungle
The grasshopper jungle

The Grasshopper Jungle

In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we collected the entries, picked the winners, and Jake set them to music. Here's Carrie's pick: 'Podcast Blues' by Jody [REDACTED]! The lyrics are below.

Jake and Carrie, they have a podcast.
They read books and talk about what they read last.
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

Some of these books are entertaining and funny,
While some make you wish you didn’t spend the money.
If you have the blues, listen to their podcast too.

They stated with Awoken and moved right along.
The also read The Westing Game, which itself would make an awesome song.
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

For The Vampire Academy they did the movie, not the book,
I think they should maybe give it another look
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

A Wrinkle in Time is a classic, in fact
I wish I had my own Tesseract.
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

Some say Grasshopper Jungle was weird and obtuse,
But maybe it was just meant to teach us how to reproduce.
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

Carrie often hates the books that Jake picks,
So maybe she should force him to read more classics
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

	No matter how you feel about this podcast,
	I know Jake and Carrie’s friendship will last.

Jake and Carrie, they have a podcast.
They read books and talk about what they read last.
I got the blues, the podcast listening blues.

Some of these books are entertaining and funny,
While some make you wish you didn’t spend the money.
I got the blues,  the podcast listening blues.
If you have the blues, listen to their podcast too.

Podcast Blues

In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we picked the winners, and Jake sent all the entries to music. This is one of the runner-ups. The lyrics are by Iris [REDACTED]. I made some alterations when I recorded it; the original lyrics can be found below, along with some notes from the author:

Written in the middle of the night before tax day, having been woken up by increased pain in my thigh. Googling possible causes I came up with DVT or Deep Vein Thrombosis, basically a blood clot which my pain-addled brain surmises could possibly have formed from sitting too long in one position while doing my taxes last week.

Doing my taxes
Sitting on one knee, I
Have to get this done today, oh
woe is me.

Leg hurts a little, now
Where's that receipt,
Gotta be here somewhere (I can't
feel my feet).

Outside it's raining buckets, no
Walk today for me,
Just as well, cuz this
deadline must be beat.

Chorus:
DVT and taxes, no
fun for me,
everybody
get up and
dance.

It's a painful process but it's
4-14, and the
Gubment needs my money to
Build another fleet of...

...Ships to send to china,
And nukes for north koreee-
Coupl'a hundred MOABs to
Bomb the middle east

...Prisons on the border for La-
tinos trying to flee, and
Secret service helipads right
Next to the first Tee

[CHORUS]

Internet doctor says
I must eat
Three raw garlic cloves a day,
Oh, yuck-pew-ey!

Ginger, cayenne pepper, some
ACV,
Blackstrap molasses all
Made into a tea.

Choke it all down, prop a
Pillow under the knee,
Contemplating how to reach the
Remote for the TV.

[CHORUS]

DVT And Taxes

In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we picked the winners, and Jake sent all the entries to music. This is one of the runner-ups. The lyrics are by Craig [REDACTED] and can be found below:

A four-footed fiend they call Darryl
Terrorizes my neighborhood park
	His blood-curdling wail
	Makes mothers all quail
And sequester their kids before dark.

Darryl the Devilish Dachshund
Has diamond-hard fangs made of flame,
	Eyes black as coal,
	And a pitiless soul –
All packed in a five-inch-tall frame!

Darryl the Wiener Dog Demon
Will savage your soul, so they say,
	With mayhem and malice –
	But I'm not so callous:
I think that he just wants to play!

Darryl

This song was cowritten by the hosts of the Love YA Like Crazy Podcast and was inspired by Kendare Blake's YA horror novel 'Anna Dressed In Blood'.

You're Seventeen Forever

I think I recorded this in 2006, shortly after I got an accordion.

Podcast

Complicated (Avril Lavigne cover)

If you want to cover this, please do! The lyrics and chords are below, and the original tracks are at https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9CstCiPTBvia0g3WGlzNXliQnM if you have a use for them.

This song is very loosely based on an incident I read about.

INTRO:

G
Now, Jack saw a woman make a science post
C
on a topic that he loved the most,
G                              D
about how water boils in outer space,
G
He made his correction, and up spoke she:
[C]
"You know, I'm an astronaut with a Ph.D.
G                              E
I read your correction and I'm not complaining,
            A                       D                D/[D]
'cause I've never seen a better case of mansplaining.

VERSE 1:

G
Well, I've been around this world a time or two,
         C
and I've never seen a man as pathetic as you.
     G
I've been on the earth, and I've been to space.
           [D]              [D]
You're the dumbest thing in either place.
      G
I can tell, from your sad attempts to explain,
         C
that you must have the world's smallest brain.
         G                     E
Now, I'm telling no lie when I say, my guy:
        [A]                 [D]                D/[D]
You're a walking facepalm on twitter dot com."

SOLO: G/C/G/E/A/D/[D]

VERSE 2:

"Yes, I've been around this world, and around it again.
You're the worst excuse I've seen for a man.
I've never seen such a sense of self-worth
squeezed into a cerebrum with such a small girth.
You should donate your brain to a museum --
Along with a microscope so they can see 'em.
I should write a paper about this caper,
You're a walking facepalm on twitter dot com."

Walking Facepalm

I had a song assignment to write on the theme 'You Know Me', and my friend Katy suggested I write it about the Christmas lobster. This appealed to me for some reason, and this is the result. Thanks to my friends who I convinced to yell 'The Christmas Lobster!' into my phone late one night: Allysen Callery, Heather Rose, Lisa Marie, Matt Clowney, Natalie Markward, Ted Hayes, and Tracie Potochnik!

The Christmas Lobster

Praise Boss

One from the vaults. I guess I wrote and recorded this in 2005?
I decided to record two versions of it. This is the rock-ish version.

Right Of Reply

Interests Are For Jerks (I)

One from the vaults. I guess I wrote and recorded this in 2005?
I decided to record two versions of it. This is the 'Ink Spots'-ish version.

Interests Are For Jerks (II)

Here are some recordings my dad's cousin David made when my niece Sadie was born.

Songs for Ezra

See My Dress

Boil Them Cabbage Down

The Lion Song

This Rhode Island-based singer/songwriter keeps audiences entertained, be it at an intimate coffee shop or a 200-seat venue. His eclectic original songs cover topics ranging from robots to knitting to substance abuse to kittens and resulted in him getting nominated for best singer/songwriter in 2010 in the Providence Phoenix.


Jacob Haller

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