no, oh

you wanna hurt me all the time but i'm fucked up
conversations every night but you won't call
sometime later when i'm gone will you wake up?
acting nervous all the time with no make-up

if i'm just thinking fast then you're not what i want
bullet in my head, leave the body in the trunk
you think you're still in love? i don't really give a fuck
i'll text you in the morning or another nine months, woah

you keep turning your back like i won't be here
getting lost in the dark and i can still see
everything that we want but never made it
can't wake up from my dreams when i get faded

i'm so tired and exhausted of the fake love
its like you only hit my phone when we break up
i don't want to go through this again, no we can't make up
i swear i really miss your body when we make love

you wanna hurt me all the time but i'm fucked up
conversations every night but you won't call
sometime later when i'm gone will you wake up?
acting nervous all the time with no make-up

if i'm just thinking fast then you're not what i want
bullet in my head, leave the body in the trunk
you think you're still in love? i don't really give a fuck
i'll text you in the morning or another nine months, woah

i can't love you when i don't trust myself in all these situations
falling down, i find myself in beautiful places
you and me waiting

i'm so tired and exhausted of the fake love
it's like you only hit my phone when we break up
i don't want to go through this again, no we can't make up
i swear i really miss your body when we make love

you wanna hurt me all the time but i'm fucked up
conversations every night but you won't call
sometime later when i'm gone will you wake up?
acting nervous all the time with no make-up

if i'm just thinking fast then you're not what i want
bullet in my head, leave the body in the trunk
you think you're still in love? i don't really give a fuck
i'll text you in the morning or another nine months, woah

conversations

are you still alone?
are you still alone, oh
cause i’m a fucking mess, sometimes
i’ve been thinking that i’m not alright
wasting my life on some friends sometimes 
would it matter if i took my life?

all i ever wanted: to feel wanted
everything i’ve ever felt was fucking toxic
my friends talk shit 
what they want is
someone just to make them feel more narcissistic

i’ve been fucking honest
i feel nauseous
and i’m losing everything in the process
saying now you want me back
i don’t want it
and i’m not the fucking friend that you wanted

i could tell that you’re upset sometimes
didn’t want you to leave last night
i’m still fucked up about the past, those times
you don’t wanna let go of mine

i don’t wanna let go sometimes
i don’t wanna let go
i don’t wanna let go sometimes
i don’t wanna let go

still in autumn but i’m fucked up
all the pictures, baby, i just want to burn them
i don’t want to live if i don’t get my luck up
if they wanna fight i’ll make them shut the fuck up

i wanna talk, i just wanna make amends
for the shit that you want
and your eyes don’t seem as clear as the ones i remember
back last summer again
when you said that you weren’t
fucking all of your friends
and you want to give up
but i wanna turn the lights on 
said that you were telling me to get my life together again
so we can see the start of something
since i have nothing
i don’t think i’ll fucking pretend

cause i’m a fucking mess, sometimes
i’ve been thinking that i’m not alright
wasting my life on some friends sometimes 
would it matter if i took my life?

and all i ever wanted: to feel wanted
everything i’ve ever felt was fucking toxic
my friends talk shit 
what they want is
someone just to make them feel more narcissistic

i’ve been fucking honest
i feel nauseous
and i’m losing everything in the process
saying now you want me back
i don’t want it
and i’m not the fucking friend that you wanted

shining by myself but i don’t want it
tryna find myself since i don’t need you now
all the things i’ve said since i’ve been honest
talking to myself since i don’t need you now

sometimes

sometimes (on spotify and apple music)

written, performed and produced by jake embers

lyrics:

wake up in the morning, wipe my head
it feels so good to not be dead
how many times can you say it is?

you smoke and you drink and you hate your friends
and all of the texts that would never send
now it feels good to feel again

people wanna tell you that you’re never gonna be shit
throw another brick right through the window
can you feel it?
will i go to heaven or will i haunt you through my spirit?
you don’t gotta cry when you start bleeding on the pavement

i’ve been waiting all night in this bedroom
i’ve been waiting for years in my head
i’ve been waiting all night just to tell you
that it never leaves the back of my head

i lost the fear to be someone
say you what you want but i’m having fun
it’s burning me up like a cigarette
i’ll stare at the sun til’ i see again

people wanna tell you that you’re never gonna be shit
throw another brick right through the window
can you feel it?
will i go to heaven or will i haunt you through my spirit?
you don’t gotta cry when you start bleeding on the pavement

i’ve been waiting all night in this bedroom
i’ve been waiting for years in my head
i’ve been waiting all night just to tell you
that it never leaves the back of my head

there’s some things that i didn’t mean to tell you
i guess i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to use you
it feels like smoke in my lungs, we’ll clean it brand new
how am i gonna tell you when i always want to fucking lie?
i don’t wanna die
at all
yeah, yeah, yeah

#phosphorus

WAITING

https://open.spotify.com/track/6kdx5Qctiy9svXwHXzE09h
https://geo.music.apple.com/us/album/_/1639989409?app=music&at=1000lHKX&ct=linktree_http&i=1639989410&itscg=30200&itsct=lt_m&ls=1&mt=1

credits:
Jake Embers - vox, production, mixing, mastering
Bond. : vox, additional mixing

lyrics:

(Jake Embers)
theres just something that i want thats so clear
it keeps it busy while i make this shit right
i just want nothing but the feeling to stay
could u come over and just come stay the night

and we dont gotta get it alone
theres a thousand fucking dollars on me
is there somewhere that you wanted to go
oh woah

take it easy, nothing you can tell me
hidden hills invasion
lost my imagination
indica vacation
long plane trip to london
hedonistic lifestyle
nothing that can change it

(take it easy, nothing you can tell me
hidden hills invasion
lost my imagination
indica vacation
long plane trip to london
hedonistic lifestyle
nothing that can change it)

(Bond.)
call me up when you feel nothing
i was lost until i-

i called you over knowing you wont pick up your phone until i give enough of myself over to you
(over to you)
i called you over knowing you wont pick up your phone until i give enough of myself over to you
(over to you)

(Jake Embers)
take it easy, nothing you can tell me
hidden hills invasion
lost my imagination
indica vacation
long plane trip to london
hedonistic lifestyle
nothing that can change it

(Bond.)
if i try so hard to be something i'm not 
i'll take off running and end up lost
i called your bluff and now i'm stuck 
with the taste of your words and a stain on my shirt
(1,2,3, GO!)

“you came around to waste my time”
miss me with that generic lie
you spilled your guts cause you hated mine
and i always end up in your line of fire
never been a fighter
but you got me running ring-side
and i know why we intertwine when you stepped in my mind

(Jake Embers)
i dont wanna get a standing ovation
i dont wanna have a fucking celebration
no more
no more, u just need to get me out your head
2021, i was telling everyone i would be dead
used to make music in my motherfuckin basement now im here in "the fucking L.A."
thats a lie, i'm still in my basement but i'm making fucking money on the downlow

fuck me if i hated on you
fuck you if you hated on me
fuck them if you're feeling alone
i'm not gonna take it back i dont wanna take it back

(getting so fucked up)

twitch.tv/niztopia

HEDONISTIC (feat. Bond)

written and produced by jake embers

lyrics:
love me like i do
i am nothing without you
wish i don’t ever have to
live a second without you

love me like i love you
tried so hard to replace you
hate myself for the past too
every song is about you

love me like i do
i am nothing without you
wish i don’t ever have to
live a second without you

…

you don’t live for them
do you even know, oh-woah
that baby
you changed me
come save me
take me

only known you for a month, it feels like seven
(in your city on the fifteenth, who you tellin’?)
i took something on the flight now i’m in heaven
(so dramatic when you kiss it while i’m driving)
i know you miss me by the way you give that leg lock

released december 23, 2023

Hand me the blow
Then I'll leave
Living our lives in entropy
I need a place
A place to sleep
I'm stealing some cash to last this week
I need to run away from you
There's nothing else that we can do
They speak in tongues
These walls aren't blue
There's nothing else that you could do

So don't talk
So don't talk

Don't forget your innocence
I can't forget everything I know
I'm going away
But I'll stay today

Throw my life out for you
I can't win when it controls you

Today

innocent

released december 23 2023

Something in the wind tonight
River washes blue
Anna lies awake
But dreams to escape here

She says "you don't really know, but you want to be my man"
I can't fall in love again
"It's not too long to wait until you're on
'Cause I will and you'll know"

She's out of control
I love you so
I can't talk to you
But I can't ever go

Too many people talk all the time
But don't you want me to be
Someone you needed
Someone you needed

In the current of the river
The water takes my legs
So I pull myself together
The story's gonna end

Could you take the wheel
All around, all around, all around, all around, yeah
All around, all around, all around, all around, yeah

river

imagine a sensation so indescribable but it lands like
white mist coating down the street lights back in august

sometimes your scent on all my clothes still lingers
my train of thought derailing yet without a sound
in times you'll find it seems i don't deserve your love

i can't stop thinkin' bout you when you're not around
i can't stop thinkin' bout you when you're not around

i wanna let go of the risk
there's something in your tone and it's biting my lip
you know that i wondered where you've been

today all the sunlight's on your face and
there's nothing out of place
makes it hard to look away
my devotion's locked away

in the forest, hear their call
hear their voices, chemical
liquid courage in my stomach
now i finally got the balls to talk

wasted the month on worrying
when i could have just bought my life again
from the whole world that i was thrown in
i was in hell but now i came back to save you
do you need me to say that i'm gonna keep on lovin' you

(waiting for the call)
i can't stop thinkin' bout you when you're not around
i can't stop thinkin' bout you when you're not around
oh, oh
i can't stop thinkin' bout you when you're not around

WHITE MIST

-

all credits to elliott smith

I'm in love with the world
Through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago
And I grew up, I didn't know
I'd be around the morning after

It's always been wait and see
A happy day and then you pay
And feel like shit the morning after
But now I feel changed around
And instead of falling down
I'm standing up the morning after

Situations get fucked up
And turned around sooner or later
And I could be another fool
Or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after

Crooked spin can't come to rest
I'm damaged bad at best
She'll decide what she wants
I'll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows, see how it is
They want you or they don't
Say yes

I'm in love with the world
Through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after

Say Yes - Elliott Smith (One Take Cover)

ANOMY

song that probably wont make it onto the project

sing

written, produced, and performed by jake embers
on all platforms

orchids

i just wanna feel
something but i hate it
and i want something that is real
i've been feeling so complacent

so tell me what's the deal
locked up in my mind
i don't feel anymore
it was a year or two before

(i don't cry, i haven't been able to-)

and all the things you tell me are about the things you wanted
and it'll take a while for me to get in touch with my emotions
all the things i wanna say but i left things feeling broken, yeah
and i'm dancing by myself while you figure out your motives

(yeah, yeah)

(cause i don't-)

told me what you wanted
still, i could never be it
taking all my time to look you in the eyes
and i'm fading from your mind
but you don't really see it
i think i'm alright, i think i'm gonna be fine

and then i have my regrets that wake me up in the morning
falling asleep to thoughts of being important
and i'm wasting my time talking to you i know it
i saw the hands in the sky pull me up without warning

t.b.h, i'm looking at your pictures
i know that you're going back to him
that's okay with me but i'm not sure

i don't know what to feel since you're always not around
you're a few miles from my town
since your moving, kiss me now
and i'm always looking down

and now you're asking for a favor
but i can't even ask myself, yeah
i'm not gonna miss you
i'm not gonna lie to myself
i don't want you

i don't want you

(i don't, i don't, i don't)

i just hate you

tell me what you wanted
so i could never be it
taking all my time to look you in the eyes
and i'm fading from your mind
but you don't really see it
i think i'm alright, i think i'm gonna be fine

staring at the sun while i gaze in the rear view
holding on my hand whenever i was near you
i don't understand what our bodies will turn in to
how different can i be in a soul that you can see through?

hurting all the time and my bones are still aching
i can't comprehend if i know that we'll make it
turning off the lights so she can't see our faces
feel each other's touch while we're in different places

Jake Embers

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